bodylicious boy dyke

God I wish I could escape this panopticon of my own creation

Maybe the dead horse was actually beating me

Was consistently posting updates for a fic until ice trespassed and kidnapped my roommate- only silver lining is I finally got to join the exclusive club of ao3 authors who stop posting for months and then drop a crazy update in the notes like “sorry I didn’t maintain my 3 chapters a week posting schedule for this drarry fic ‘to be known is to be conquered’ I was hit by a bus and evicted.”

Art school taught me that it is 100% okay to make some bullshit and then retroactively assign meaning to it and actually everyone is already doing that you idiot

Waist so missing I only see it on the back of milk cartons

Guys this is so embarrassing… I lost my waist again. can someone please look for it on find my iPhone’s sister site find my waist?

You will never know my letter box

I’m probably lactose intolerant but that’s not for me to know I’m young and turnt

That’s it, im out of here *gets raptured*

AA - acapella anonymous

Who up getting their passport

They hit the cuntigon but don’t worry diva you were safe in the cunter (cunt bunker)

How am I supposed to believe the devil is wrong when deviled eggs are just so right

You should invite me to your holiday parties so I can hold conversations with your grandparents

Told my friend I have acute tonsillitis and they said “well at least it’s a cute one”