that's it

I guess it really sucks, we were made for each other. I know we were, because when I was with you it felt like the entire world stopped spinning and we were the only people who could move through the empty space. It’s horrible because we were perfect, but our timing was well and truly out. We weren’t meant to fall in love so early, but we did, we fell so fucking hard for each other. We acted like we were married and I was so addicted, addicted to the idea of finally feeling at home. You were my home, you were my everything and I can’t help but dream of the day we reunite. But everything’s different now, you’re with her and I’m still waiting for the day you message me telling me that I’m everything you’ve ever wanted and that you’re sorry, and I’ll take you right back and we can continue to build on our love. I loved you, more than anything, I put everything into us and yet I still believe I could give you more, and all I ask, all I want, is one more chance. I pray every night you wake up and miss me, I pray that you suddenly realise that it’s me and it always has been me, but the chances are slim and yet I’m still depending my whole life on them.

You were so good to me, and you know sometimes I wish you weren’t. Sometimes I wish that you treated me horribly and never gave me your time, so then maybe I could feel a little bit of hatred. But instead, I’m left, 6 months later, still missing you.

May we meet again in ten years in another life, when things are right, when our hearts aren’t broken, when our thoughts aren’t a mess, when the ghosts of us aren’t haunting us, when we won’t have to turn our backs on each other and lead another road, when it’s our right time to fix the broken to love again. By then it won’t be the wrong time or a forbidden love, it will be another chance to make things right when we couldn’t before.

I wonder if you ever talk about missing me to anyone.

I wait everyday to get a message saying that you’re sorry, that I’m your one and only and you’ve been feeling shit ever since you left, but everyday I wake up to go to sleep left with nothing.

You’ve moved on, and I’m still here trying to figure out where it all went wrong.