Pond Dweller

Here are the fics that set my ridiculously high expectations for any sort of sequel(s). I have lots of favorite fics out there, and there are plenty of great recommendations in general, but I'd like to focus SPECIFICALLY on post-book/s1 canon compliant fics written before s2 was announced. Would love a thread of these, so please reblog and add your own fic recs that you think would make a great sequel!

Category 1: Top 3 Recommendations

In All Things, Balance by Kedreeva (T, 17k, 2019)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20320441

GO READ IT! In the back of my mind, I always considered this to be canon, which I didn't realize until actual canon didn't meet those expectations. Missing a bit on the human side of things, but otherwise a fantastic alternative.

Choices by Bookwormgal (T, 154k, 2019-2022, 8 part series)

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1739542

Humans from the book continue the story with Heaven and Hell. Honestly I read this so long ago that I don't remember much, but I do recall that this filled the void of how flat the human characters (particularly the children) were written in the adaptation (i.e. s1)

Akashic Records by peniG (G/T, 206k, 2019-2020, 26 part series)

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1446628

To skip straight to the sequel-to-book/s1, start with part 21, although I highly recommend the full series. This has, hands down, always been the canon I've been missing. This fills in all the gaps we don't have in the source material in a satisfying way while staying true to the characters and themes. They really respect both Aziraphale and Crowley as intelligent, experienced partners who are clever and fallible and perfect.

Additional recommendations under the cut!

Circe, the terrible goddess who speaks in the tongues of men. 

- they’re Opawz pet specific dyes. Non toxic made specifically for dogs. Once they’re set and rinsed they can groom themselves normally, they pose no danger to her in any way, no fumes, there’s no bleach involved

- my dog is trained with cooperative care skills, the process is not stressful for her, she gets paid heavily for her cooperation and looks forwards to the opportunity to earn extra snacks with the grooming

Very much did in the sense that I literally do not know where my job is at the moment. But, for the time being I haven't been let go because nobody else including the store owner knows where it is either.

So, I don't wanna risk doxxing myself by posting pictures but goddamn am I tempted because this is not a believable event. This is a cartoon problem. For looneytoons.

But yeah, so, I work(ed?) at a kiosk selling boba tea, right? Freestanding kiosk in the mall with full water and electrical hookups and multiple fridges and sinks and a mini kitchen and the works. Fully functional tea shop. Very important to note that it was there last night, The work chat was discussing another issue last night at closing time. I'll get back to this.

It's been showing signs of being on the way out with how business is being handled lately and I've been considering other options, which is probably why I'm not as torn up about this as I should be, but maybe it just hasn't set in yet, but that's not the point. The point is there's been a lot of shit breaking and not being replaced and nobody mentioning anything about it until I walk into work in the morning and have to figure out why shit like the fucking cash register isn't there today. So I'm kinda used to having to ask questions about big things that nobody bothered to update me on. I was out for two weeks recovering from a surgery, so I came to work this morning assuming there'd be some kind of bullshit, yeah?

So, the question I had to ask the chat this morning was:

Not a text I ever thought I'd have to send in sincerity, but there it is. Because what I found instead was a fenced off patch of discolored tiles and a few holes in the floor where my entire place of employment used to be.

And the answer? Nobody knows! It was there last night when the mall closed, and every single trace of the structure and all its contents including drink making supplies and our safe and cashbox was gone when it opened again. And when I say nobody knows, I mean everyone from last night's closers to the actual (former?) owner of the store jad no fucking clue about this until getting that text from me this morning. For once I am actually the first to know. 🎉.

So. I guess I didn't so much lose my job as had it stolen. Not by AI, but good old fashioned hands-on human beings picking it up and carrying it away somehow. All mall security would tell me was that they were instructed not to tell me anything and have us contact our management. Who also don't know anything. And later on I came across some construction workers around the gravesite of the kiosk discussing filling in the holes, asked them about it, and was told that they "weren't at liberty to say".

So, not only is my job gone in the most literal physical sense of the word, but it was taken in some kind of super secret kiosk extraction in the dead of night without any warning or witnesses and nobody is allowed to speak of it. The store owner said she was gonna figure it out 10 hours ago and still no word back.

My mother in law thinks the FBI took it.

Not any of the other stores around the state. Just the one little kiosk.

Why? Because she loves a conspiracy and is just a little bit extra.

Also because she was around for the massive crackdown on Yakuza-owned businesses in Waikiki (in her homestate) that did actually involve the FBI seizing stores (no confirmation of making kiosks cleanly disappear in the middle of the night though).

Still no word from my job on what's actually going on, but the most likely theory so far is that maybe the kiosk was on lease and got repossessed? The mystery continues

According to the owner, based on what she's been able to find out, the kiosk was not removed legally and they're starting a potentially long process of legal action. I hope she gets to sue the shit out of whoever did it but for now at least I know for sure I'm unemployed.

Really hoping for more details in terms of who/why/how, so I'll keep updating if I learn anything.

For now the summary is: An unnamed entity that is most likely mall management (on account of mall security cooperating with them) stole an entire kiosk and all the contents including money and machinery with barely a trace in the middle of the night grinch-style, with zero warning or explanation, and ensured the silence of both security and the construction crew, in an action that was definitely preplanned and illegal, and as far as I know nobody knows its whereabouts.

Enjoy the unintentionally funniest text I've ever sent in my life

Aaand a close-up:

HEY HI HELLO THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE

Temperatures in the UK are around 30°C. Where I am it’s gonna hit 32°C in the next couple of hours.

To you Americans, you Australians, that’s nothing. It’s a mild day, we’re weak, whatever, I’ve heard it all, the thing is, WE AREN’T EQUIPPED TO DEAL WITH THIS.

The average temperature in the UK in July is 17°C. It is in the 30’s today. We simply are not used to it. We are used to rain and sleet and hail and wind, not heat. And our heat is a damp heat. A humid heat.

Because of all the sea around us we have an extremely humid climate if it gets warm. The air literally feels heavy right now. I am struggling to cool down because the humidity is fucking with my sweat, and as a trans man, the high amounts of water in the air, combined with my binder make it difficult to breathe, and I assume a lot of asthmatic people have a similar problem.

When temperatures in the UK are like this, people die. Don’t laugh about it. It is serious. It may not seem like much to you, it may not seem warm to you, but in a similar heatwave in 2013, 760 people died.

Our infrastructure is not built to cope with this. The house I live in, for instance, was built when the Thames still used to freeze over. It was built to be warm. The walls are thick, the windows are small, some rooms don’t even have windows that open, it was built with no though to air circulation, and this is one of the most common types of home in the UK. The UK government subsidises insulation. People fill every gap in their home with stuff that will keep the heat in. And nobody - literally nobody - has aircon. A lot of businesses don’t even have it. We have no use for it 99.9% of the time. Hell, I don’t even own a desk fan or even a hand held fan.

It is very different here to where you are. And we are used to and equipped for very different things. Instead of laughing, teach us how to stay cool. Instead of making jokes or quips, make info posts, and things that will help us.

Keep to basements if you can- warm air rises and cool air descends and all that. Idk if they keep even that insulated there.

If the temperature gets too much, ice baths can really help lower body temperature if and when you can. (I don’t mean running cool baths- I mean dumping some ice in your bath tub of water and sitting in it.) Keep in mind! Do not stay there for long periods of time, you can still get frost bite or whatever.

Key points for cooling down your body are: your wrists, back of your neck, stomach and chest, between your legs. Your hands and feet will get hot or cold quicker than anything else, but keeping them cool won’t cool you down- you gotta focus on your torso and such for a more dramatic effect.

Wear natural thin fabrics like cotton and linen; polyester is made of plastic and will not breathe. Light colors are better. Jump in the shower wearing them if you can. Wear them damp. (Yes, it’s okay to go underwear-less for this. Nobody likes damp panties all up their asscrack.)

Hang blankets over your windows. Wet them down. DON’T OPEN THE WINDOWS. Keep your shades drawn.

Cold wet towel on the back of your neck. Keep it cool. Put it in the freezer for 15 minutes before wearing. The first three minutes you’re going to want to die and then the next hour will be bliss. It will help cool your blood.

If you are lucky enough to own a fan, point it at the ceiling. Hot air rises, and this will circulate the air and more efficiently cool it.

Sleep under a damp sheet if you can deal with dampness on you.

Drink a lot of water. I live in the Sonoran Desert and where the standard American recommendation is a gallon of water per day, we are advised to drink 1.5 gallons. If you’re not peeing every few hours, you’re not drinking enough. Tea is okay. COFFEE AND SODA POP ARE NOT.

Make sure you have some salty snacks on hand. Sweating a lot and drinking a lot will fuck up your electrolytes, and you’ll want to replenish them. If you feel like you’re craving salt, you need it. Eat.

Juicy fruits and veggies like watermelon, peaches, and cucumbers are your friends. Eat them.

You probably won’t be very hungry during the day. That’s fine, but try to eat a sandwich or piece of fruit around lunchtime so your body doesn’t freak out and go into starvation mode. If you’re still doing afternoon tea, substitute fruit, finger sandwiches, or a similar small meal instead of cakes or muffins.

If you’re cooking dinner, do pan-fried instead of using your oven. If you don’t know how, look up some American recipes. We do a lot of seared and pan-fried here.

Love,

If you have ice packs in the house, you can cool your pillow some by laying them across your pillow for the half hour before you go to bed. 

Another alternative to damp sheets is sticking your sheets in the freezer a half hour before you go to bed. Heck, you could to this with your pillowcase too.

SLEEP AS CLOSE TO THE GROUND AS POSSIBLE. Even with AC, I do this every summer. You might not think it, but those few extra feet lower can make a huge difference in sleeping comfortably. 

Leaving doors open (except for the ones to the outside) helps with airflow. If you have fans, sticking them in doorways can help keep air from stagnating in one room.

If you have a ceiling fan, set it to rotate counter-clockwise. Dunno why it works better in the summer that way, but it just does.

Because when trans women dare to speak up for themselves, Tumblr nukes their blogs.

We need to be fucking loud about this, daily, because Tumblr staff is specifically targeting and deleting trans women who are not breaking ToS and who often have fundraisers up FOR THEIR SURVIVAL.

By deleting these blogs repeatedly, Tumblr staff is saying loud and clear what they hope happens to these girls.

Are y'all okay with that? Because if not we need to be posting about it more because we have seen by now it's incredibly fucking unlikely this sites moderation will delete our blogs for it because we are not trans women

to know the state of your loved

one’s dementia?