Pond Dweller

Tump dies tonight while giving his speech in the hot hot sun. Like to charge, reblog to cast

Chappell Roan was right. it is like a hundred ninety nine degrees

And no one is even doing it with me

*sighs sadly* doing it with me…

We have always been human.

Close! Those are puppies.

We have always been puppies

can't believe the only options are 30 minutes early or 10 minutes late. if only there were some other way. but what can you do

I feel like ODD being an official disorder in the DSM should be the thing that makes everyone go “hm” about how psychology is practiced

[looking a child directly in the eye] i diagnose you with Shitty Bitch Syndrome. this makes it legal to do medieval german tortures to you by the way

also you would be surprised at which group gets disproportionately diagnosed with this disorder. did you guess black people. because its black people

Herding sheep, looking after kids, and playing healer in videogames: every day you're surprised of the sheer innovative genius of how they'll find the most inconvenient goddamn places just outside your reach to get hurt or put themselves in lethal danger.

Isn’t this sheep in real life?

Children in real life also.

The humble Oxford comma

#you can understand op by using your brain

I asked my five year old cousin what he would do if there was a scary skeleton and he said "I would pour water on it and then kick it" and I've been losing my shit laughing crying about a wet skeleton for about fifteen minutes straight

Coca Cola flavored Oreos taste like if you could eat clipart

im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man

Everyone loves me for my repetitive speech, my odd noises, my constant forgetfulness, and my repetitive speech

you should get a second evening for reading fan fiction. And you should get an extra day in the week to do arts and crafts.