God had a vision and the vision is me

I live a very balanced life of noticing things nobody else does and not noticing the things that literally everybody notices

i feel like there is a sleep in me that needs to be slept but each time i sleep i don't sleep that sleep

@skyrimjuusto

I say shit like "If my memory serves me" knowing damn well it serves the dark lord

Too much movement makes your joints hurt and too little movement also makes your joints hurt. This would imply that there's an optimal amount of movement that allows your joints to not hurt. This is a lie.

literally what the fuck do you mean its still january. how is that remotely possible. its been six months minimum

Finally this joke gets the reception it deserves