getting away with it all messed up

Hi.

I am very sensitive to caffeine so I don’t drink coffee a lot, I am more of a black tea person in the morning. But if there’s good coffee wherever I’m at or if I’m really tired, I usually take it black. If I have the option of a splash of vanilla or almond extract, I’ll add that. If it’s super strong or not very good, I put a small amount of milk and a tiny bit of real sugar.too.

This is the house I lived in from age 5-10, in a suburb of Chicago. It has a huge sloping backyard which backs up to the property of the elementary school I went to, and down the street you can access a biking trail. It was a pretty good neighborhood to grow up in, with a lot of kids of all ages. I appreciate that I had so many weekends and summers in which I’d run out of the house after breakfast to go play, sometimes forget to come back for lunch, and be yelled for or hear from someone else’s mom that my parents wanted me home for dinner.

I think that depends on what the source of the sadness is. Usually I am drawn to being alone and quiet, or I’ll listen to music to help me work through it.

I don’t really remember being scared of anything in particular. My school was filled with disciplinarians, some fair to the kids and some not, so I think mostly I just tried to do an okay job without having to work too hard. Unsurprisingly, this did not get me very far past high school.

I remember being astounded by the highs and lows involved. And amazed that some of those moments - like forgetting where you are during long a kiss out in front of the driveway that goes on forever - are actually a thing and not just in movies. 

As I get older, the things I seem to value most are pretty simple: staying in touch and showing they care even though life is hectic. In going through a lot of heavy shit recently, I’ve been reminded that I have better friends than I thought I did. Sometimes all you need, without even realizing it, is someone to take a minute from their day to check in with you.