[Transcript] So um I work in a store and it closes at 10 pm. 10 pm on the dot, not a minute before, not a minute after, okay? It’s like on the outside of the building, the inside, on the ad, you can call us up and we’ll tell you or like an automatic machine will tell you um, you can google it! And it says 10 pm. So 10 pm, hmhm. Yeah you know, 10. pm. So this woman comes in, 9:30, I’m not sweating and neither is the cashier which is like “Yeah she has a whole half an hour!”. So it hits 10 pm and she’s still in her own little world, you know, jamming along that elevator music probably in her head, and so I go up to her and I’m like “Ma’am, it’s 10 pm, we’re now closed. Can you um please bring your purchases to the front so we can check you out?” [makes finger gun] - Not like that cause she was really old - BUT:
So she like turns around, she’s like “[nagging voice] It’s not 10 pm!” and I’m like “… What time zone are you in because iiiiiit’s 10 pm where I’m standing!”. And so she looks to me and she’s like “[nagging voice] It is not. 10. pm!” And I’m like… I don’t know what to say because it is, it’s like probably like 10:01 now or like you know 10:02 and some seconds, some change! And so I’m just like “Um… Ma’am”, so I show her my phone, I’m like “It is 10:01.” And she’s like “[nagging voice] Well that’s wrong!”. I’m like… “[unintelligible mumbling] I’m pretty sure it’s- [unintelligible mumbling] I’m fairly accurate! [unintelligible mumbling] Looks fairly accurate! I’m thinking it’s, it’s correct. It’s alright.” Ah so she like gets - of course - gets really close to me and, so she comes up and she like SHOVES HER WRIST IN MY FACE. Like it’s like that close just like my glasses. So she’s like “[nagging voice] IT IS NOT 10 PM!”. And so she has like this watch that looks like, it’s like 40,000 years old like gooosh. And so I look at it and I’m like… [whispering] what the fudge! [at normal volume again] Because her watch is 20 minutes behind! 20 minutes! So it’s 9:40 in her world!
So I’m like “Ma’am I think, I think your, your watch might be wrong!” And she [exhales] she didn’t wanna hear that! M-m! Cause she’s like “[nagging voice] I have had this watch for 20 years! It is never been wrong and it is NOT 10 pm! So if you do not let me shop, I will call the cops for harassment!”. And I’m like “… But it’s 10 pm! [despairing] It is 10 pm! Closed, we are closed!”. But you know, confrontation and me don’t do so well so I’m just like, I back away slowly because you never run from uh an angry bear. And so you know what I did for 30 more minutes while this woman shopped in her own timezone while uh hearing elevator music in her head? I read a magazine that’s had on the cover “A 101 hottest boys - men, whatever”. Do you know what was in that magazine? Like maybe no hot men, maybe like two. So yeah… And then she comes up and I, I check her out [inhales] and she buys watch batteries and I’m like “Well guess what: your watch DOESNT FRIGGIN WORK!”
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