Blue Eyes Just Smile to the World

If you ask me a question about something I know nothing about and you don't like that then why is that my problem? It's the way I said it apparently...i'm here minding my own business and now you're angry because instead of asking the group of people what they are talking about, you have decided to ask me, someone not involved nor listening to the conversation, what they are talking about. So when I obviously say "I don't know, I wasn't listening because i'm not part of the conversation." you've interpreted it as an attack and not an explanation but it's my fault...what the actual fuck? Other responses interpreted as being said with an attitude are "yeah", "no" and "I just answered your question, why is that taken offensively?" Is it to illicit a response from me because they're bored and my short responses aren't satisfying enough? There must be a word for people that force interaction with you and then make you feel bad for how you respond? I feel like i've been kidnapped and then blamed for not being a good hostage 🤣

Well i've been taken on full time at my new job, my gf is awesome, my ex finally paid back the money she owed me and i'm currently buzzing my tits off from a pre-workout formula. Life is good

Shout out to my Uber driver Joe who I briefly bonded with over relationships and coming out stories as he drove me all the way to my girlfriends house in the middle of fucking knowhere.

Get you a girlfriend who buys you a vibrator, bondage rope in your favourite colour and a bottle of red wine for your birthday. This year is going to be fun.

My love life is currently a mess. I'm kinda dating an American polyamorus engaged woman. Our connection is amazing but I the fact she is already someone else's is a real mindfuck. Luckily I get on with the fiancé but it was a pretty weird moment for me sitting on the couch watching Netflix, making out with this beautiful girl and her fiancé is asleep on her lap. Next thing I know, i'm waking up next to her in their bed. It's fucking weird. They're cool people that's why I haven't already ran for the hills but now I think i'm getting in too deep and setting myself up to get hurt.

Going to meet my former date and her fiancé tonight. No big deal aha. I'm getting good vibes from them so far so I hope they have nothing but good intentions and hopefully it will be a good night

So a lot has happened since my last post. The girl I previously mentioned friendzoned me, but has actually been a really great friend. We've been talking on and off and have grown a lot closer so when she actually asked me out on a proper date my heart actually leapt out of my chest. She's so beautiful, has an amazing personality and a big heart even though she tries to act tough. We spent most of yesterday night on the phone to eachother and even watched a film together which was really cute. She then told me she had a crush on me and my heart absolutely melted. I've never been friends with someone first before dating them and it makes me appreciate them a whole lot more and I can't wait to see where things go. I also think I have best friend approval too which is also something i've never had to deal with. My ex never even let me meet her friends so it's nice to actually be a part of her whole life and not just a piece of it. She's really special and I know whatever happens I feel very hopeful she will stay in my life permanently.

I still have no idea what i'm doing. I went to a gig with someone i'm kinda dating. She's so different from me but I still find myself very attracted to her despite not being a girl I would normally even be friends with. I asked that we would take things slow and she has really been respecting that. Last night we shared a bed and did nothing but hold eachother the entire night. I felt so safe and close to this person and I can't wait to feel closer. We went to a bar after going to see her favourite artist perform and a gay guy came up to us and said we looked really good together which was sweet but awkward as we're not quite there yet but it helped me feel a bit more sure about her. All I keep hearing is how her exes treated her badly and I find myself wanting to be the girl who treats her right and gets on with her friends.

Of course I still have feelings for my ex but it feels so nice to finally be talking to someone who actually makes me feel wanted again. I want to see where this goes

I'm feeling very confused at the moment. On one hand I want to move on and feel close to someone again but on the other I still miss her so damn much even though she's not the person she once was. I want her so badly to feel like herself again but I know it's a long time before that is likely to happen and even if it does she might not even want me back. I feel bad for being in the position to move on because I like this girl I am talking to but at the same time i'm still hopeful that in the future my ex will want to get back together again. I guess I can only try and move forward and see what the future has planned for me.

I don't want to get ahead of myself but despite the crippling period pain, things may be looking up ☺️

I just really need a hug right now