its a pun

there's a tortoise at work and he's 30 years old and I love that he's 30 years old because I can look at this animal that is 3 years older than me and go "does the man want his appy slices??" and he hustles over cause the man do want his appy slices

i like quizes i like clicking buttons i like results

I'm the transgender alchemist that makes the antifa supersoliders

If they fall in combat I put their brains in a big internet crystal so they can oppress terfs on twitter

i’ve been drunk listening to sour since 2pm is this rock bottom

i cant believe fearless (taylor’s version) killed prince phillip

the only way to restore humanity is to kill instagram altogether

The sensation of being American is just hating your country and then hearing a white British liberal call America imperialist swine and briefly astral projecting out of your body because they’re not wrong but it feels like there’s maybe some imperialist swine a little closer to them they could be working on 

I LEARNED BY WATCHING YOU, DAD,

the sensation of hating america as someone from s third world country and then hearing a white British liberal call Americans imperialist swine and suddenly feeling solidarity with the Boston tea party