Oh wow. It’s been a while. Do people still use Tumblr? I used to be so insanely addicted. And then one day I just stopped. I don’t know why. Laziness? More productivity in life? I wish I hadn’t. A lot of my memories are on this and now it has a big gaping hole right in the middle of my 20′s haha.
I guess a lot has happened since I last truly updated. I don’t even know when that was. Quick recap: I now live in Hawaii, going to go back to LA for the summer to work at SuperCamp LMU and Stanford. Got asked to be STL which is pretty sweet, but also terrifying. I’m slowly getting comfortable and excited to step up to the challenge.
Spent the last couple weeks with my dad who visted me on Oahu, then with my Mom and her side of the family who came to Oahu, then we went to the Big Island where we snorkeled with gorgeous 10ft long mantarays. Then we headed to Maui where we viewed this beautiful sunrise atop Haleakala Summit.
Life is definitely less stressful in Hawaii, but it isn’t the cure to all life’s problems that’s for sure. If you have problems, they won’t magically disappear once you move locations. Yes it was such a relief to get away from LA and live on my own away from the stresses. At the same time, there IS such a thing as too much paradise. I’ve been feeling it recently and I don’t know exactly what it is, but I think I’m just burnt out from doing so much in such a short period of time. Also not currently having to work makes my time that much more open and free of structure, which in hindsight, I thought I would love, but now I realize I don’t know how to function properly and productively without having mandatory things to do.
I’ve always had some sort of plan in my mind that even if I didn’t have a specific plan, things would work out, but I think I’ve been starting to realize that things just aren’t going to fall in to place because I believe they will. I still don’t know what I want to do in life and I don’t know if I’m worrying about it too much or not worrying enough about it. People think I am just escaping reality by not actively trying to get settled in a career, but when I think about it, being in a settled career sounds awful. What’s there to look forward to when you already know where you’re going to be tomorrow and the next day and the day after that. I don’t know. I’ve been feeling the lack of motivation to do even life recently, but I’m wondering if it’s just the circumstances I’m currently in: waiting to go home, waiting to start my summer job, just waiting for another beginning. We’ll see what comes after summer, or even next week. We’ll see. :)
