☆°•Alice/Ali

LOSER GIRLFRIEND!SEVIKA doesn’t know what to do with how softly you caress her hair other than laying her head in your lap and occasionally burying her face in your thighs because you’re soft and she suddenly feels safer although she’s aware if anything were to happen she’ll be the one trying to shield you.

LOSER GIRLFRIEND!SEVIKA who’s really bad at showing that she loves you so she’ll get you one those whimsical mushroom-shaped mugs that you like so much, and she’ll put it on the counter, standing there awkwardly, saying, “don’t make a big deal out of it.”

LOSER GIRLFRIEND!SEVIKA who physically doesn’t know how to cuddle and lays there stiffly whenever you cuddle her in bed.

LOSER GIRLFRIEND!SEVIKA who acts like an abandoned, kicked puppy in the rain when you don’t give her your usual affection or if you haven’t kissed her in the last two hours because why would you do something so cruel to her? :(

LOSER GIRLFRIEND!SEVIKA who hates asking for your attention because she doesn’t wanna seem clingy but at the same time she craves your attention so desperately, she might even just roll over on her back and want belly rubs at this point.

LOSER GIRLFRIEND!SEVIKA eventually learns how to show you love as well, always resorting to filling your water bottle or gently chiding you whenever you overwork yourself.

LOSER GIRLFRIEND!SEVIKA who takes to cooking to show you she loves you by making you meals that are healthy and filling, which means a lot especially given you’re both living in the Undercity where a plateful of food is worth a thousand unspoken words.

You thought that you’re bad at this.

You’re not actually. You’re one of Sevika’s most celebrated athletes. The afternoon sun was beating down on the field, sweat ran down your back and made your shirt stick to your skin. You felt gross, sweaty and in desperate need for a shower.

But that could wait for now.

Sevika stood close by the lane, watching your form with her sharp silver eyes which only looked even more gorgeous under the sun. The sunlight glinted on her pretty eyes and highlighted the natural glow of her brown, sun-kissed skin.

“Focus.” You told yourself. “She’s your fucking coach, dude. Get a grip.”

Maybe it was because you were staring at Sevika too much, or thinking about her too much. Whichever it was— you got your karma for it.

CLANG!

You winced, trail leg clipping the hurdle.

“Pretend you didn’t see that!” You called over to Sevika and kept running.

Sevika rolled her eyes and sighed deeply, like you’d disappointed her ancestors.

“Again!” She barked the order out, sounding so intimidating when she did that you almost flinched.

“Yes, Coach…”

This time you thought you’d done it perfectly. You ran again, then made for the jump— oops. Too high?

“You’re trying to jump, not fly.” Sevika said as you made it back to the starting line.

“Sorry…”

“Where’s your head at?” She tossed a water bottle at you.

You grabbed it with both hands, giving her a grateful and apologetic smile, “dunno… just not in top form today, I guess.”

“You’re an athlete, one of my best. You don’t get to schedule days for whack performance. Every day should be a try to be better than the last.”

You quietly drank your water, cheeks flaming slightly with embarrassment. Of course, she’d say that.

Look at the muscles on her! She’d never have issues with either jumping too high or clipping the hurdle. Hell, if her leg clipped the hurdle, the thing would probably turn to ash while she ran on!

Her words pulled you back from your train of thoughts—

“Again.”

You wanted to roll your eyes but you obeyed— you knew she was just trying to look out for you. But how the hell were you supposed to focus when Sevika’s biceps looked as delicious as they did?

“Focus.” You told yourself.

Run. The moment you get close, this time you slow down a little— maybe because you were trying to figure out the right bit of jump, the right bit of momentum— Sevika’s voice almost gives you a heart attack.

“Stop slowing down!”

Your eyes widened slightly, you gathered speed again and then— you did it.

A perfect hurdle.

Sevika smiled, “alright, great. Now give me six reps.”

Way to shatter your joy and pride.

Despite what you thought, you dragged your feet to the starting line, and did just as Sevika asked. By the time you were done, most other athletes had already cleared out of the field. Sweat ran down your temple which you wiped with the back of your hand hastily.

“Y’did good.” Sevika finally said, walking up to you, “but you’ve made mistakes today that you don’t make normally. That’s made us lose a lot of time.”

“Yeah… I know.”

“Knowing isn’t gonna solve the issue at hand.” She put one hand on your shoulder.

Fuck, her hand was large in comparison to you. You swallowed thickly and looked at her. Her silver eyes laced with concern looked back at you.

“Get whatever it is you’ve got going on together. Tomorrow we’ll do both hurdles and long jumps, and we can’t waste time like this. Conference championship’s comin’ up.”

You nodded, “understood.”

“Good.” She let go of your shoulder. “Get home safe, kiddo. And make sure t’eat and I better see you doin’ your best tomorrow.”

You smiled, “will do, Coach!”

Sevika offered you the slightest of a friendly smile and a final nod before she turned. You let out a deep breath you hadn’t realised you’d been holding and walked towards the locker room to change up.

She could really be scary sometimes when she was coaching but you knew she had your best interests at heart. You’d never thought you’d get so tangled into sports before, but Sevika’s always made you feel like you belonged there.

And she was sweet when situation demanded it.

As you changed into clean clothes, you noticed it— a dark bruise blooming on your ankle.

“Shit. That’s gonna be a bitch tomorrow.” You murmured, not bothering to look at it twice when you pulled your socks over and wore your shoes.

-

The next day your performance was flawless. Every jump, every hurdle— you tackled it all until you were left sweaty, water bottle in hand, hair slightly dishevelled, but you had a big smile on your face. Sevika did too.

Which was honestly the biggest win of the day.

“You’ve done a great job today,” she finally said after a pause, “I can tell you’ve taken this seriously.”

“I’ve just— y’know— put my head in the game,” you said awkwardly punching the air.

Why did you feel so lame now that she was finally having a decent conversation with you? Fuck. Sevika chuckled, shifting one hand on her hip.

“If your performance goes on like this, there ain’t no doubt you’ll win the conference championship.”

“That’s… reassuring.” you said quietly, “is there… anything else I should be? I wanna make sure I’ve got this in the bag.”

Sevika’s eyes warmed slightly. Just to see that you care about the championship just as much as she does, it was refreshing.

Sevika nodded with a smile, “I’ll text you a list later, okay?”

“Yeah, okay, thank you, Coach.”

Sevika just nodded, the smile still on her face before she picked up her bag, and swung it over her shoulder.

“Get home safe, kiddo.”

“Y— you too!”

Just before Sevika turned— she saw it. You flinched as you pulled your sock down to check on the bruise on your ankle. It had been throbbing all afternoon— the fabric of your sock rubbing against the already bruised skin hadn’t helped especially under the heat of the sun.

Sevika’s eyebrows furrowed, eyes searching for the cause of pain on your face— the moment she saw the bruise on your ankle, she was marching up to you in only a few long strides.

“What the hell’s that?”

“It’s nothing! Just a little bruising when I hit the—”

“Why didn’t you tell me about this before?” She demanded.

“I didn’t think it was a big deal! I— it doesn’t even hurt—!”

“It is SO a big deal!”

Sevika looked genuinely angry. Not really at you. But in fact, you got hurt during one of her coaching sessions and she never knew.

You stared at her expression, your mouth opening and closing a few times before you finally mastered the courage to mumble;

“I’m sorry.”

Sevika didn’t respond to your apology. She dropped to one knee and guided your foot to rest on her knee. “Let me see,” she murmured.

Gentle hands pried your sock down to reveal the dark bruise and the angry swell around the ankle. She didn’t prod too hard, she simply observed the state of the injury.

“You’re not fit to be walking.” She said instantly and slowly guided your foot back down, “I’m takin’ y’to the nurse.”

“There’s no need for—!”

“I need to know if you’re even cleared for training.”

You sighed softly, “okay, I can limp there—”

Before you even finished saying that, Sevika’s hand was around the back of your knees and your back. She swept you right off your feet, carrying you bridal style towards the infirmary.

Your face burnt. You were so close you could smell her— sweat, skin and the faint smell of her cologne.

You had to fight the grin off your face or she’d probably drop you on the field right there.

The nurse’s office smelled faintly of disinfectant and comfort. There were a couple beds separated by thin curtains and a nurse behind the desk who seemed to be writing a prescription to another student.

Sevika slowly placed you on one of the beds, and stayed close by, staring at the nurse so intensely the poor woman started writing faster. She ripped the page off and handed it to the student with a little smile. The student thanked her and walked out.

The woman walked towards you, “what seems to be the issue, dear?”

Before you could speak, Sevika did.

“We’ve been practicing since yesterday and this one got a bruise on her ankle, and thought it wasn’t a big deal, now she’s wincing, and it’s swollen up and bruised.”

The nurse blinked. “Okay… let me see the ankle, dear.”

You pulled your sock down and tossed your shoe down on the floor so the nurse could have a look. By the look of her face, it didn’t seem very good.

“Can you put pressure on it?”

You moved your leg down, trying to shift your weight down on your foot. “Yeah. It doesn’t really hurt when I move. The pain’s outside, not really inside.”

“Alright, that’s good,” the nurse said, “let me see,” she gently guided your foot back in her hands, rotating it to make sure you didn’t twist your ankle.

Once she was sure you could bear weight down on the foot and flex the joint without being in pain, she nodded to herself and straightened.

“Don’t worry, Sevika, it’s just a little bruising that needs ice.”

Sevika exhaled deeply, relieved.

You were now biting the inside of your cheek, trying not to break into a fit of giggles.

Sevika was just so hot.

Later, she ensured you were safely dropped off home before she returned home herself. You were giggly even after you got home, you could smell a faint hint of her cologne on your clothes now.

Oh, you’d never wash this shirt.

-

The day of the championship hit you like a truck. You’d practiced your ass for this day but you were a nervous wreck.

Sevika texted you multiple times before you showed up, making sure you were eating enough— not too much, not too less. Every five minutes, she was asking you “y’good?” In a low voice that suggested nothing but raw care.

You hadn’t ever seen this side of hers.

But even if you were a sucker for your super hot coach, right now you were sweating cold sweat.

You weren’t exactly nervous. You were afraid. Afraid of doing so bad that you disappoint everyone around yourself. But not even that scared you all that much. Disappointing yourself did.

That was your worst fear right now.

“Hey,” Sevika sat down next to you in the locker room, “you gotta keep your head fresh, okay? Winning’s not your goal right now. Keeping your head in the game is.”

You smiled faintly. “I know.” A pause. “Hey, Coach. Are you gonna be mad if I don’t win?”

Sevika opened her mouth to answer that, but then thought against it.

“Hmm… what do you think?”

You shyly looked up.

“I think if I lose, you won’t ever wanna see my face again.”

Sevika barked a short laugh, “you’re ridiculous, y’know?”

Your cheeks flushed more. Sevika turned to fully face you.

“How about instead of worryin’ about whether I wanna see your face or not, you worry about doin’ all those hurdles and jumps right, okay?”

“That doesn’t answer my question…” you mumbled stubbornly.

Sevika sighed and got up.

“You ask too many questions anyway.”

A moment of silence as she stares into nothingness silently.

“I’m not gonna be mad.”

You grinned.

“That doesn’t mean you’re gonna flunk this shit.”

You giggled. “Don’t worry, Coach, I got this!”

-

You did exactly as you had trained the past few weeks. Your lungs burnt, your muscles ached but you pushed yourself to your absolute limits. So when the weight of the medal around your neck settled, you looked.

You looked for Sevika.

“You clipped the seventh hurdle.” She said, walking towards you slowly.

“I did not!”

She laughed and tossed a bottle of water at you. You caught it, but didn’t drink from it.

“Are you… proud of me?”

Sevika shoved her hands in her pockets, staring at you with an expression that said “you really gonna make me say that out loud?” Then with a pained groan, she murmured;

“Yeah. M’proud of you, kiddo.”

You smiled, wide and bright.

You wanted to thank her but the words didn’t come so instead, you flung yourself into her arms in a tight hug.

Sevika— entirely caught off guard— stumbled a little but didn’t push you off. Instead, you felt her arms wrapping around you in a loose embrace. She rubbed her hand down your back soothingly, it almost made you shiver.

“Thank you… for everything.” You mumbled into her shoulder.

She grunted in response.

For a few seconds, there was just comfortable silence between you both before you eventually parted yourself from the hug. You wanted to cry in happiness, your face hurt from how much you had been smiling but you were genuinely just so content.

“Do you remember Coach had promised a treat if even one of us gets a medal?” One of your track friends said.

Your eyes twinkled with mischievous amusement. “Yes! Oh, we have to ask her!”

That’s how you ended up there— sitting in a half-full restaurant with your friends. Sevika sat on the opposite side, watching your friends diving head first into gossip.

“So, what are you doing after this?” Sevika asked you.

You looked up, slightly shocked she initiated the conversation, “nothing, I honestly didn’t think I’d win, I’m just really shocked, I guess.”

“That’s valid. So, you’re tellin’ me you’re my star athlete and winning wasn’t even on your roster for the future?”

“Yeah…”

“You’re one oddball, alright.”

You laughed softly, a red hue developing on your cheeks.

“Yeah, I get that a lot. I don’t know if I wanna approach athletics as a profession. I love doing what I do, but… I’m not sure.”

“Okay, that’s understandable. You do have talent but if that’s not what you’re willing to do, then you should simply do whatever y’wanna really do.”

“Mhm, I’ve been leaning more towards art.”

“Art?”

“Yeah, I know. A bit of a shocker. None of my friends really care to listen but I actually love—”

“—sketching. I know.”

You stared at her. Sevika, realising she’d just given herself away, quickly tried to come up with an excuse, but only could stammer. She could get so cute when she was flustered.

“How did you know about that?” You smiled faintly.

“I’ve seen the— y’know— pencil smudges on your hand. Those aren’t normal pencils. That’s charcoal pencil smudges.”

“You noticed…”

“I’m your coach, noticing’s kinda part of the job.”

“Well, you were my coach.”

“Yeah… were.”

Awkward silence swallowed the air. Sevika checked her phone quietly. You bit the inside of your cheeks and bounced your leg.

Then, you asked, “can I ask you a personal question?”

“Yeah?”

“Have you ever… dated a student after they graduated?”

“That’s a very weird question to ask.”

“I just—”

“That also right when you’re graduating.”

Your cheeks went bright red. Sevika smirked slightly.

“This isn’t the appropriate place to have that talk.”

“But—”

Sevika nodded very subtly towards your friends who were busy in their own chatter. You nodded a “yes”.

But she didn’t downright reject you… that must count towards something, right?

After Sevika very generously treated you and the entire track team, they all eventually started leaving. Right after the last track team member left, you looked at Sevika.

She got up without even looking at you. “My car.” She said, simply.

You got up, too and followed her out and into the car. She sat at the driver’s side, quietly pulling the seatbelt over her chest. You watched her quietly before she revved out of the parking spot.

What were you even supposed to say?

“So…” you began.

“So?”

Your brain blanked.

“So you never answered my question.”

“You have really weird questions.” Sevika deflected.

“... That’s still not an answer.”

She looked like she wanted to disappear. Not in a bad way. In an awkward way.

“Hey,” you turned a little to look at her. “If you wanna reject me, you can, I’m not gonna—”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Well, you’re not saying the opposite either!”

“What is the opposite?”

“... Ummm,” you didn’t know how to phrase it.

In your head, it sounded bold— you like me, so we date. But in reality, it was harder to say.

“Umm?”

“Just—! Tell me how you feel,” you managed out.

“How I feel…?”

Sevika fell silent. Not because she didn’t have feelings for you. But because in a very, very long time someone was asking her about her feelings and the idea of that struck a deep, raw part in her that no one night stand ever did.

She stared ahead at the road, refusing to let herself get emotional over something so trivial. She needed to think her response through carefully.

“I feel a lot of things.”

You wanted to facepalm. “I’m aware.”

The car came to a halt as Sevika parked it by the side of the road. She looked at you.

“You really wanna make me say the most ridiculous things ever.”

Your lips twitched in a smile.

“Do those words include “I like you too”?”

Sevika stared at you quietly, her face was an evident answer— yes.

“C’mere.”

She kissed you.

It was sweet. She leaned over the middle and kissed you, her hand holding the side of your face to support your face as she deepened the kiss. You kissed back, holding her face with both hands. Your hands were cold with nervousness, her face was warm.

You both parted for a second.

“You’ve wanted this for a while, haven’t you?” Sevika asked.

“Just a little…”

“I know.”

“But—”

“You gawked at me like you’d never seen a woman before.”

“You’re just hot.”

That got Sevika to blush. She looked away, “pfft, ridiculous shit.”

“But you are!”

Sevika didn’t say anything, but you saw the way she resisted a smile, and continued the drive back home.

-

Sevika was supposed to drop you off. That’s it. When the car parked, you looked over at her. None of the two of you were ready to say goodbye.

“So…” you murmured, the awkwardness filling the air with suffocating silence.

“Yeah…”

“I’m gonna— uh— go inside…”

Sevika nodded quietly. You grabbed the door handle and opened it, stepping outside but the moment one of your feet landed on the concrete— Sevika grabbed your other hand and tugged lightly.

“Don’t… go yet.”

You looked at her, confusion and subtle shock in your eyes, then closed the door. You looked at her.

“Are you gonna do something?”

“Hold on, I’m… nervous.”

Your eyebrows rose so high they were at risk of disappearing into your hairline, “you? Nervous?”

“Yeah, fuck off, I’m allowed to feel nervous!” She said, face flushing.

“Yeah, of course. Never said you weren’t. I just never saw you being nervous. On the field, you’re always so confident. You know what you’re doing and—”

“Well, this ain’t the field, is it?”

You gulped.

“Mhm… so there are no rules. No professionalism.”

A moment of silence.

“Do you wanna kiss me again?”

“Fuck yeah.” She replied immediately and pulled you in for another kiss.

This time she pulled you over her lap. You climbed over the middle and settled on her thick thighs, making yourself comfortable as your lips remained linked with hers.

Sevika’s hand moved in your hair, securing your place against her mouth. Her eyes opened for a second as she drank in the sight of you there on her lap with your lips pressed against her. Things were so intimate and to think a couple months ago the only relationship you both had was settled in training schedules.

“You’re good at this.” you mumbled when you both parted for air.

Sevika raised a brow. “I’m older.”

“That too.”

“That a problem?”

“No, ma’am.” You smiled. “Quite the opposite.”

“Yeah? You prefer older?” Sevika’s lip twitched in a smirk. Devious almost.

“I prefer… mature.”

“Sure, princess.”

Need swelled between you both. There was little to no distance between you and her. That wasn’t even the best part. The best part was the way she looked at you. All this time you’d both spent on the field, she only looked at you how a coach should look at their team player.

But now she looked at you differently.

She looked at you like you meant something.

Like your were something precious she wants to hold forever and never let go. Like you were the greatest gift from God.

She saw how your thighs squeezed together.

“Needy girl.” She mumbled, grabbing the side of your thighs with one hand and giving it a little squeeze.

You couldn’t help the squeak-like sound that escaped you, eyes wide, face red.

“Sevika…”

Sevika’s smirk warmed in a way you hadn’t ever seen before, as if just calling her by her name was enough to melt something in her heart.

“There you go, I like my name on your tongue.”

“You like it…?”

“Yeah, don’t ever stop.”

“I won’t,” you wrapped your arms around her, pressing your forehead against hers, “unless you decide to coach me again…” you joked.

She rolled her eyes. “Never again.”

“Hey, I was a solid runner.”

“Maybe.” Sevika let her nose brush against yours. “But you’re horrible at keeping it in your pants.”

“Hey—!” You swatted her playfully.

“Oh, you wound me!” Sevika said dramatically, clutching her heart.

You laughed heartily.

Who would have thought things would take such a pleasant turn?

Your hand rested against the middle of her chest. “So what are we now?”

“I guess we can still figure that out.” Sevika murmured, “let’s not jump to conclusions overnight.”

“Yeah…” you looked at her through your lashes, shy almost, “I’d like that.”

You don’t force her to always say she’s okay, quite the opposite actually. You let her mourn for her loss, and you hold her through it. Whenever she cried, you didn’t let her feel alone in it and hugged her. Not once did you tell her she was being emotional. At first, the phantom pain complaints had been frequent but now she didn’t talk about it much. She became quiet in a different way. Perhaps, she just needed space.

Working so many jobs had made you exhausted and you didn’t have a lot of time to go out shopping for groceries so here you were. Sevika didn’t get out of the house a lot, but today she insisted on tagging along just so she didn’t feel useless at home.

“Baby, can you pass me some apples?” You asked, just to give her something to do. You saw how she perked up—the change of expression almost subtle—and quickly grabbed a few apples with one hand, tossing them into the basket after giving them a brief second of observation.

You smiled sweetly in gratitude and moved along the crowds, staying close by her. You had been making sure she had been eaten clean these days and that included all the right nutrients no matter how much they costed.

“We also need to get your pain meds,” you said, mentally listing all the things you needed to buy.

“Is that the expensive one from Topside?” Sevika asked quietly.

You gave her a sad smile, “I know you don’t like when I get things from there, but this is very important for your healing process.”

“I’m sure I can heal just fine without them,” she huffed.

She didn’t want to be difficult but she also didn’t want anything to do with Topside…

“No, you need those, they help with clotting blood and more stuff that I won’t nerd on about,” you said firmly.

Sevika made another huffing sound but didn’t protest. She knew you were doing this for her own good and she knew you were right. She did rely heavily on those specific meds more than the rest. She hated admitting that out loud either way.

As you both made it out, one of the food stalls that had recently opened up came into view—perfectly baked goods in view; cookies, pastries, muffins… Sevika paused, staring at them for a second too long before she forced her feet to drag herself forward. You noticed. You always do.

You knew Sevika liked cooking in general.

But lately you’d been keeping her away from the kitchen. Not because you thought she was fragile, but because her medication made her loopy and you didn’t want her being half-conscious around fire, or anything that could get her injured.

Today was a bit better. She was more active. She wasn’t sleeping away her day.

When you both got home, you unloaded the groceries and Sevika hovered around, so you asked her to do little things for you—things that wouldn’t exhaust her easily, but also keep her on her feet at the same time.

“Baby, can you help me with something?” You asked, pulling a bowl free from the cupboard.

“Sure, what’s up?”

“We’re making cookies,” you glanced at her, smiling at her pleasantly surprised expression.

“Cookies?” She moved closer subconsciously.

You nodded, “get me the butter and sugar, first okay? We can measure together.”

Sevika quickly retrieved what you asked for, placing them on the counter. She held the measuring cup as you put the sugar inside carefully.

“I’m mixing, crack some eggs in when the time’s right.”

You didn’t want to pressurise Sevika’s brain too much right now but you wanted her to remain active and attentive, so you needed to make sure she was paying attention to the entire process of preparing the batter. Sevika stared, eyes full of excitement although there were still shadows underneath them, remarking how exhausting the last few weeks had been.

“Addin’ the eggs,” she murmured just to inform you, and cracked the eggs open individually using one hand.

She didn’t struggle as she added them in. You raised a brow.

“You’re a natural, babe.”

“Gotta get used to it,” she murmured, and for once she didn’t sound sad about it.

Just determined.

You both added flour, baking soda and salt next. Sevika had a very subtle smile on her lips that you noticed by the corner of your eye when you mentioned chocolate chips. She sure did have a hell of a sweet tooth.

You shaped the dough. That’s when you realised Sevika wasn’t by your side anymore. You looked around—she wasn’t there. You didn’t even realise she had left until—

“Sevika,” you called with a smile on your lips, “stop eating the chocolate chips.”

Sevika paused mid-motion of shoveling it in her mouth, “I wasn’t…” she replied, mouth full, words smushed.

You rolled your eyes affectionately, “get over here, help me!”

“Okay, okay,” she walked over with the box of chocolate chips and added them to the cookies with you.

“Go preheat the oven.”

“You’re so bossy for a caretaker.”

You shoved her playfully, “I’m still your girlfriend.”

“Sure, sure. Girlfriend wants, girlfriend gets,”

Sevika was smiling now. Not a wide grin. Just a small smile that actually reached her eyes.

She preheated the oven, watching as you delicately placed each cookie on the tray before sliding it into the oven.

“Can you watch the oven for me?” You looked over at the stove, “I gotta get the dishes done, and get started on lunch.”

“Sure.”

Sevika leaned against the counter and stared at the oven—more like glared at it, as if she could intimidate it into working faster. Time moves slower when you wait for cookies, doesn’t it?

Only about after ten minutes you hear shuffling sounds, and then the sound of the oven beeping and the door opening, then the sound of the tray being pulled out.

“Sev—”

The delicious scent of freshly baked cookies hit you, you blinked and turned around, turning the faucet off.

“You could’ve asked me to take them out,” you said, watching as she slipped the oven mitt off by shaking her arm out on the counter.

“Gotta get used to doin’ m’own shit,” she said, not in a gruff tone. Just factual.

You walked over to her and cupped her face with both hands, “I love you so much.”

“Really?” She smirked slightly, “just cause I got a tray of cookies out the oven? Y’do know it’s more for the cookies than anythin’, right?”

“Just say you love me too!”

She laughed, “I love you too.”

Heartbroken baby daddy!Miguel who started to reply the last 12 years over and over in his head, from the moment he sat next to you during his first college lecture to the moment he found himself in front of your front door in an attempt to ask for a second chance only to find out it’s too late form the smirk on your new boyfriend’s face. To the point of him getting distracted during everyday activities, like over serving his coffee and sitting at a greenlight until someone honked at him.

Heartbroken baby daddy!Miguel who starts to have trouble keeping up with his physical appearance. The same man who could get up at the asscrack of dawn to go on a run or to the gym, always clean shaved, hair always slicked back, never seen in his pjs outside his bedroom, started to walk around with a 5 o'clock shadow, starts to drop off or pick his daughter up in his sweatpants and tank top he sleeps in, eyes more sunken in then they usually are.

Heartbroken baby daddy!Miguel who has a silent breakdown everytime you post something while out on a date with your new boyfriend.having to grip his phone so hard to the point his knuckles turn white to stop himself from bursting into tears while Gabriella is eating dinner in the next room.

Heartbroken baby daddy!Miguel who had a few too many drinks while Gabri was at a sleepover, calling up first his younger brother then his best friend. Rambling about how he should have seen the signs sooner, how he should have never let you go in the first place, because now you were in the arms of another man, and considering that it’s been over 3 months it looks like he’s there to stay.

Heartbroken baby daddy!Miguel who thought he was hallucinating from drinking too much when you showed up at his place at 11:30 at night

—

“I-I just, if… if I knew that I still loved-“ he interrupted himself to hiccup before continuing to speak to Peter over his phone, placing down another empty beer bottle on his living room coffee table. “I still loved her, I wouldn’t have let-let her get a new boyfriend in the first place ya know?” He slurred, hearing Peter’s response but none of the words registering. His mind calmed from the temporary haze the alcohol provided.

Knock knock.

Miguel rolled his eyes with a groan as he slowly got up from his seat on the couch. “I thought I told you I didn’t need you to come over Peter.” Miguel said as he grabbed the empty bottles and quickly placed them in the kitchen, his friend on the phone expressing his confusion as Miguel made his way to the front door with his phone between his shoulder and ear.

“Huh? I’m not at your door-“ The rest of the sentence turned into background static, not noticing Peter’s calls for him and asking if he was listening. Miguel was too busy being in shock. He blinked once, twice.

You were still there.

Bloodshot eyes, runny nose, rosey and tear stained cheeks, your shoulders shaking a bit as you hugged yourself. He didn’t even get a chance to ask what was wrong before you spoke.

“Can I come in?” You croaked, throat tense as you attempted to keep your voice from wavering.

He opened the door wider.

—

Baby Daddy Masterlist

Part 4

for this chap, the technology mentioned here was being phased out when i was a dumb lil kid so I never got the chance to become super familiar with how it worked,, so pls excuse any inaccuracies you may see!!!

thank you, and enjoy! 💕

The boxes and storage containers never ended. The flurry of dust that clouded the garage could probably kill you if you inhaled too much of it. You erupted into a coughing fit after you blew some dust off a box you pulled from a shelf. 

That morning, Sevika invited you and Rose over to have an early lunch (you both had to fight the urge to not intertwine your fingers in front of her), but your daughter ended up trying to find something she left behind years ago. A prized possession of hers, probably stored somewhere in the deep depths of Sevika’s garage.

Rose said it was a sentimental item she couldn’t ever forget. Naturally, you wanted to help her fulfill her wish in reuniting with the decades-old item, but over the years, Sevika’s garage just kept on getting piled up with more and more stuff. 

You offered to help her look for it, but one thing led to another, and the three of you were using the mission to find this object to reminisce and de-clutter while you were at it. 

It’s been a while since you’ve had a little family time like this. 

“What’s this thing you’re looking for anyway, kid?” Sevika asked, aimlessly shuffling through an old box of wires. Funny. Neither of you ever bothered to ask before you went scavenging. 

“It’s a toy I had. It’s round and fluffy, and it’s shaped like an animal. But not a real one. Like a bird or something, I dunno.” She motioned with her hands the stubby height and roundish shape of the object. “If it helps, it’s blue.” Then, she continued to scour the array of cardboard boxes, sliding one off the second shelf. 

“Mama, do you mind if I cut this one open?” 

“Go crazy, kid.” She huffed as she set a heavy box down. 

Cutting the taped-up top with scissors, she struck gold. It was a full box of old electronics—phones, cameras, wires, technology that hadn’t been used since she was born.

“Moms, look at this!” 

You two came over to see what she was so excited about.

“Forgot about those.” Sevika dabbed the sweat off her forehead with a rag. 

“We should totally see if they work.” Rose picked up the box and brought it over to the living room. She plopped it down, and Sevika came behind her with another box with similar contents. 

You, on the other hand, were still in the garage, finding something to inspect in the living room piece by piece, until you found something covered in a tarp. Of course, you were too curious to not see what it was, so you brushed a little of the blue waterproof material out of the way, only to see something you hadn’t seen since you were a lot younger. 

An old TV, equipped with a built-in VCR made you all giddy. Sevika found some old tapes which were oddly well-preserved that belonged to her and her father from years back that she brought into the house as well. 

Lifting the hunk of technology in your hands to the living room, the two of you began to bicker a little with no fire behind the bite. 

“You’re going to throw your back out, Sev.” You warned. “Careful.” Naturally, Sevika gravitated to take the majority of the heavy box in her hands even after you insisted relentlessly that you were able to help.

You two set it down on the floor. Rose wasn’t all too familiar with the tech in front of her, so you plugged it into the wall to show it to her. 

As much as you looked, the remote was nowhere to be found, so you pressed the power button on the front. 

A high-pitched sound emitted from the TV, and there was nothing yet but a screen of static. Hell yeah, it worked. 

“Huh. Whaddya know.” Sevika stared in awe and crossed her arms. She barely gave this device a second thought as it collected dust in the garage, so she was a bit surprised to see it still working. She went back to the garage to look for more of the same stuff. 

“Change it to video for me, Rose.” 

“What?” 

“I got it.” You crouched down to change the channel. Now, looking in the box of preserved VHS tapes, you noticed the label on one. Picking it up, you inspected it for any signs of damage, which you deemed to be none. 

Well, it was a risk you were willing to take, so you popped it in and the VCR took it out of your hands. 

There was static. 

A flash of footage sped past you at first, but you were soon able to make out the sound of heavy rock music and the low rumble of engines in the distance. A lot of the voices were muffled, but you could hear a distinct name come from the person with the camera. 

“Sevika! Turn around. Wave to the camera.” A male voice asked from behind the device. 

A figure taller than the rest of the group of people she was talking to snapped her head around, her signature half-up half-down hairstyle moving with her. She flipped the camera off before leading the cameraman to where all the bikes were lined up at the meet. 

She looked so different back then. It was a few years before you two met. When you looked at the date of the footage in the bottom right of the screen, she couldn’t have been more than in her early twenties, with her head of dark hair, angular face, and grin that came with callowness.

The day was getting late in the footage, but the crowd was as lively as ever. Young Sevika began explaining all she knew about each bike, but once she reached a certain one, a very familiar one, she presented it with pride. 

“This… this one right here? She’s my baby, my prize.” She soon went into heavy detail regarding her motorcycle, all the little features she found amazing, the capacity, how she could cockily pick up the ladies on it, all the works. 

“How’d you get it?” 

She shook her head. “No questions, please.” She chuckled loudly.

Your grin faltered for only a second. It was around the time she joined the organization that indirectly left your marriage in shambles. 

Rose’s face was glued to the screen. Neither of you had seen this footage before, so all you could do was stare in awe at the contrast between her with a difference of thirty years. 

You distinctly remembered her looking like this for a brief moment in your time knowing Sevika, leather jacket, boots, and an old t-shirt with practical pants for riding. But Rose was too young to remember it all. 

So she watched until the tape was over and the screen was all static. Then with a press of the STOP button, it went all black. She paid close attention to the sound of the inner workings of the VCR, when it rewinded, all she could do was listen, and eventually ejected it when she pressed the button. 

You were a little startled at the reflection of the TV, where Sevika was standing right behind you both with another box in hand. From the floor, you showed her the tape, its title and date written in smudged marker. 

“Remember this?”

She scoffed. “Barely.” And sat down on the couch beside you. 

“We have a whole box of them, you’re bound to remember something.” You put the blank tapes to the side and ignored the movies and non-home videos for now that may or may not have been pirated. 

Rose found one that was only marked with a range of years and decided to play that. 

A video faded in slowly. You noticed the same wall color as the one right in front of you, but a bit different, more carpet material lined the floors, and the layout of things and furniture were different. 

Immediately, you noticed the familiar face on the screen, looking a lot more youthful, more than in those tapes at the motorcycle meet. 

Dark hair and gray eyes, you knew it was Sevika again. She just looked younger and shorter. She was opening a present on the carpet. 

Suddenly, the video cut abruptly to the outdoors. All three of you recognized the porch the camera was filming from, where it focused on a little Sevika sitting and playing with something in the grass in the house’s front yard. It was silent, save for the cicadas buzzing in the distance and the cars occasionally passing by. 

She couldn’t have been more than twelve or thirteen here. The camera zoomed in on Sevika wearing a bright yellow sweater, making a brief mechanical noise, to where she turned and gave the lens a wide, toothy grin, showing off that cute little teeth gap you’ve always admired. 

It cut again. She was older. She wore black now. Her hair was longer. This time, it was her birthday. She sat at an old table in the dining room, blowing out her candles. But after she did, she hid her face from the camera with her long, shoulder-length hair. 

“Hurry up, Sevika. We can’t waste this tape.”

It cut again. 

The crowd in what seemed to be a school sports field cheered loudly as each person walked the stage, donning their school colors with their caps and gowns. She was graduating high school. 

Sevika’s name was called, echoing from the speakers all around, and she walked the stage. Taller, jaw more sharp, her hair was even shorter compared to the last clip. 

Parents and family cheered for the graduates, but the person behind the camera didn’t. 

The moment she walked down the steps of the stage, the camera cut to static. 

Unfortunately, there was nothing else recorded on it after that, so you stopped it and waited for it to eject. 

When you turned to Sevika, you could see her focusing intensely on the blank screen, trying to remember what exactly was happening in each of them. She was silent, but stood up and went to get a drink in the fridge. 

Rose scooted towards you. “Was that her dad filming?” She whispered. 

“I think so.” But it was undeniable. You patted her shoulder and went to follow Sevika. 

In the kitchen, you leaned against the counter as she shut the fridge. 

“Are you alright?” 

She nodded. “It’s just been so long.” She looked through the archway to see Rose sitting down on the floor, digging through the boxes of old electronics. “We never really told her about my dad. About your parents.” 

The two of you danced around the subject for years, but Rose soon came to understand that it would take a while for her moms to open up about everything entirely. 

But you and Sevika promised each other that you’d be more honest with one another, and that included Rose. 

You reached for her hand, taking it in yours, intertwining your fingers together, hidden from the sight of Rose in the other room because of the wall in your way. 

“You don’t have to tell her if you don’t want to. But we should tell her something.” Your knuckles were brought up to her lips. Feeling the warm skin on your hand again in her home made you melt. She knew what you meant, about you. About her. About you together. 

“Agreed.” 

“And remember,” You planted a soft kiss on her lips. “You’re not like him. You’re here. With us.”

Soon, you went up to Rose. “Want something to drink?” You asked, and you were back into the kitchen fetching her some water. You were stiff the whole time. You tried to find a leeway to easily talk about it with her, but you just couldn’t. 

As you filled up the glass, Sevika stood behind you, an open can of beer already in her grasp. You turned around and put it down on the counter with your free hand. 

“This early?” 

She sighed, but gave in to you. Taking the can, she shoved it back in the fridge, mumbling something about how it wouldn’t taste as good later. 

While that was taking place, Rose in the living room found an old camcorder. It was newer than what was used to film the tapes she watched earlier. It utilized smaller tapes, and couldn’t be inserted into the VCR. Surprisingly, it still had a tape inside. 

So, she improvised. She tried a million different wires, but ended up finding ones that could plug into the camera to charge it, and one that could connect the camera to the TV. 

As your daughter heard the two of you shuffling back into the living room with some drinks and a plate of cut fruit, she beamed over her discovery. Rose sat criss-cross in front of the screen, holding the charging handicam right as she was about to plug it into the TV. 

Your heart dropped to your ass. 

You scrambled to find a surface to put the glassware you were holding onto a safe place before you could accidentally drop it. 

In a panic, you rushed up to the TV to use your body to block the screen. Simultaneously, Sevika took the camera out of her hands, unplugged all the wires and bunched them up in her arms. 

“Nothing to see here, kid.” 

“Wha—?” Your daughter was more confused than ever. 

Once everything was unplugged, you sighed in relief. “I don’t think you need to be watching that.” 

A moment of realization struck her. “Oh, ew!” 

You went to retrieve her water and fruit in a daze, pretending like everything was normal, like you didn’t have almost the worst thing happen to you. On the way, Sevika passed you with the camcorder in her hands and took a moment to whisper in your ear. 

She chuckled low, a deep rumble in her chest. “We’ll review this later.” And she was about to walk off to her bedroom to put it safely in a drawer. For safekeeping.

Playfully striking her shoulder, you didn’t know how to process anything anymore. “As if! …But I’m glad you took it out of her hands before she saw anything.” You leaned in for a quick peck on the lips before she went on her way. 

And to your demise, Rose was standing right there, watching the most mundanest of actions between the two of you happen right in front of her eyes. Instead of screaming or saying anything that revealed what she felt, she turned on her heel back to the living room. 

“Rose,” You went after her. So much for finding the right time and place to tell her. But it was right that she knew. 

Rose sat on the couch, and you sat beside her. 

“Rose, can we talk?” Just then, Sevika emerged from her bedroom, finding the two of you sitting together on the stiff cushions. Oh no. She had no choice but to face it and take accountability.

Sevika sat beside you as you began. 

“Rose, we’re so selfish. So incredibly selfish, kid,” You took a breath in, and looked to your side to see Sevika looking right at you, silently supporting you with that look you’ve always admired. “We’ve caused you a lot of pain in the past, and we’d like to apologize for all the things you shouldn’t have seen when you were younger.” The fights, the yelling, and all the things between you that unintentionally roped your daughter in too.

She raised an eyebrow, giving you the opportunity to keep going. 

“We, your mama and I, have some news.” You took Sevika’s hand in yours, grasping her hand tightly as you rested it on your lap. 

Ever since she was young, your child saw all your ups and downs, all the fights and loving moments, all the late nights when Sevika was away, and all the hard obstacles life has given to her because of something her parents couldn’t resolve. 

It was absurd to automatically think that she’d forgive all the mental scars that resided in her deep down from seeing her two role models break apart. 

“We’re dating again. Seriously now.” 

“We didn’t ask how you’d feel about that. We’re sorry.” Sevika quietly added. 

“You know how I feel? I feel like it’s about damn time.” Rose didn’t say anything else, just leaned in and engulfed you in a big hug. Eventually, Sevika and you eased into your daughter’s arms. 

“Things are good, Rose. I won’t let this opportunity pass me by again.” There were some happy tears that escaped your waterline, a wave of relief washing down all the guilt because of your secrecy. “You should see her boat.” You whispered.

“Boat?!” 

“I’ll tell you all about it later.” 

She cleared her throat and pulled away from the hug. “Anyways, how long have you been together?” She asked, munching on an apple slice. 

“Kid,” Sevika started, looking all serious. “Let’s just say that we grew comfortable with each other again at the hotel.” She quipped.

“Ew, I don’t wanna hear that.” 

“Rose, she didn’t mean it like that, Sevika, tell her you didn’t mean it like that.” You quickly intervened, feeling a little embarrassed, you were instantly brought back that moment you could erase from your mind earlier.

“But I’m so glad you guys made up. Freakin’ finally.” She gave you the biggest smile ever, and you were reassured that you wouldn’t have a rocky relationship with your daughter too. 

 𓆩:*¨༺✧ ⚜ ✧༻¨*:𓆪

The sun finally set and night crept in with the lullaby of the crickets chirping outside. After a painstakingly long afternoon of untangling wires and dusting off old boxes, you were utterly exhausted. You didn’t know when you exactly dropped dead on the couch, but all you knew was that your bedtime was nearing. 

“Moms, I found it—!”  Your daughter emerged from the garage, victoriously holding up her mechanical blue toy from her childhood that looked like an owl.

She paused in her tracks at the sight of you two. Sevika was sleeping with her head slightly tilted back against the wall behind the couch, arms sprawled atop the headrest in either direction. Beside her laying on her chest was you, breathing in and out softly. You were curled up as you placed a closed hand on her chest, as if you were trying to feel her heartbeat. 

When she returned home that night, she stumbled on her own two feet. Her balance was off, her other hand held onto the wall hard as you opened the door. You quickly reached out— “oh, Janna! What the actual fuck happened to you!?”

She wasn’t in a state to respond, and you didn’t force her to. Instead, you helped her to the living room where you sat here down and patched her up the best you could. Finding emergency medical attention in the middle of Zaun was impossible. If you wanted to trust someone, you’d have to trust crazed medics who only ever really work with people living on Shimmer.

You didn’t want that for her. Not now. Not ever later… but sometimes, you can’t control things like this.

“Sev—hey, don’t lose consciousness on me now!”

Her head lolled a little to the side, brows drawn tight in pain, jaw clenched as she felt you removing her clothes so you could get a better view of the stump where her arm once used to be.

“Fuck… it’s bad.”

She wasn’t in a state to talk. You got as many towels as you could and a bowl of warm water. The lights in the room flickered, you ignored it and knelt down, not caring how hard your knees scraped on the floor.

“Sev… look at me.”

She barely could, her eyes were glassy with the pain, she was barely conscious. You gently dabbed around the wound with the towel after soaking it in the warm water.

“Baby, I’m gonna have to clean it,” your voice cracked, “can you be strong for me? It might sting.”

Sevika huffed a weak laugh, raising her other hand to tuck a loose strand of your hair back. Even in a situation like this, she managed a cocky, half-assed smirk.

“... Look at you motherin’ over me.”

You swallowed, lips pursing tightly, “you’re such a fucking asshole, Sev.”

“Do it,” she nodded to the wound.

“I’ll be gentle,” you took her other hand in your free one, “squeeze if you need to.”

The moment the cloth touched the raw flesh, her jaw locked and she bit her lip hard, almost drawing blood. You felt her fingers twitching in your hand, you gave her a reassuring squeeze.

“Hey, it’s okay… if it hurts too badly, tell me, I’ll stop for now.”

Sevika shook her head, “s’fine, keep goin’.”

Your hands shook, but you forced yourself to focus as your hand moved with clinical precision—cleaning every drop of blood surrounding the wound before you soaked the towel back in the bowl.

“Can I—?” You gestured to the antiseptic, “I don’t want it to get infected.”

“S’fine, I’ll be fine—”

“Sev—”

“It’s gon’ burn like a bitch.”

You knew why she didn’t like the antiseptic—she never really did. Every time she came back home with her knuckles split and bruised, you’d make her sit through the stinging antiseptic. It was the only way you could make sure Sevika didn’t get her injuries infected.

Now, cuts and scratches were different from a whole stump of raw flesh…

It needed even more maintenance, of course. And even with Sevika’s hate towards it, the wound needed to be cleaned.

You took a deep breath and soaked a clean towel with antiseptic before reaching forward to clean the wound using it. The moment the cloth touched where it hurt the most—her body jolted. You used your other hand to pin her down—not because you wanted to hurt her.

But because this was crucial.

Zaun was a breeding ground for infections— especially when it came to open wounds which weren’t cared for properly, and you weren’t about to let your love suffer more than she already did.

“It’s done,” you put the towel away, “you’re so strong, baby.”

Sevika didn’t say anything. She flung her other arm around your waist and pulled you closer, knocking the bowl down. Water splattered across the floor, but that didn’t concern you.

What did concern you was her—head buried against your chest, shoulders trembling, tears soaking your shirt.

“Oh, Sevika…”

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed, “I’m so sorry…”

“Why’re you—?”

“I’m hideous now,” her voice cracked, “I’m—you didn’t sign up for this. You’re… you deserve better than this.”

“You’re not hideous, Sevika,” you kissed the top of her head, wrapping both arms around her, “you’re just hurt… and you’ll heal.”

“I ain’t growin’ a whole ass arm… I’m gonna be like this for the rest of our lives.”

“And? You’re still gonna be you,” you cradled her face, making her look at you, “hey, hey, you’re my strong girl. You’re gonna be fine. You’re gonna heal, and we’ll look into getting you a prosthetic if you really want that, okay?”

“Prosthetic?” She scoffed, looking away briefly and then looking back at you, “with what money?”

You wanted to tell her you’d do all the odd jobs out there in the world just to ensure she could get a prosthetic arm, if she really wanted that. But you knew saying that at that specific moment would’ve made her feel even more guilty. So, instead, you wiped her face gently.

“You’re gonna be fine, baby… we’ll get through this together. I’m not going anywhere.”

Wordlessly, Sevika buried her face in your chest again, and sobbed louder. You held her through it—not asking her to stop, just letting her feel what she felt at that moment.