dum spiro spero

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joe wished kristine gave him a more exact time for when he had to give the new lifeguard a tour of the big green. he wasn’t going to kick a fuss because he got why giving the freshman a three hour time frame to come to kris’s office was more convenient for her but he personally preferred knowing the exact time and place he needed to be somewhere so he could write it in his google calendar and show up ten minutes early. he decided to make the best out of a slightly inconvenient situation by showing up ten minutes before the earliest time alice campbell could come to kristine’s office with his laptop and a latte (with two creeams and two sugars as a little treat) in hand.

he’d given up on trying to analyse a journal article on the psychology of education an hour ago and was hunched over the equipment list when he heard a knock at the door. joe sat up straight and took the chewed pen top out of his mouth as he turned to see who was knocking. “yup, guilty as charged.” he answered, leaning over to place the clipboard on kristine desk. “you can call coach harrity kristine if you want. that’s what the rest of us do and i think she prefers it to coach harrity.” he explained. “but i called her coach harrity for like five months straight when i first started working here so that’s cool too.” he added. he didn’t want to sound like a condescending dick and he knew how hard it was to stop seeing profs and coaches like teachers when you first started college. “yeah, i’ll show you the ropes. i’ll probably just give you a tour today and a quick overview of the rota and equipment list spreadsheets. don’t want to throw you in at the deep end.” he shot alice a self-aware smile as he said the last sentence. he was well aware it was a lame thing to say but he hoped it would put her at ease. “that’s really cool.” he nodded. joe  already knew all that info about her because kristine had told him it in the email she sent him but he wasn’t going to say that to alice. bless her she seemed so nervous. “i’m joe cartwright. old lifeguard. senior. and i also love a ramble from time to time. but mainly when i’m nervous or drunk.”

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Though Alice knew the chances that he wasn’t Joe were pretty slim, she still felt her shoulders sag a little in relief when he confirmed it. Joe Cartwright. He wasn’t nearly as intimidating as she feared when she saw the word ‘senior’ on Coach Harrity’s email. He had a very kind face. A little laugh bubbled out of her at his admission about calling Kristine ‘Coach Harrity’ for so long. “Okay. Kristine,” she repeated with a single nod, trying to say it with more confidence than she felt. “I can do Kristine. Or, I can try to run with ‘Kristine’ here and now but who knows what’ll happen the first time I see her in person? There’s an equal chance I’ll freeze up and end up calling her ma’am all the time instead.” She nodded again as he explained the plan for the afternoon, straightening herself up a bit and furrowed her brow a little as she listened. Not only did she want to pay attention, but she wanted to appear as if she were paying a great deal of attention. First impressions and all. The tiny snort she let out at the pun was not part of the plan, but there was no way to hold it back either.

“Good. That all sounds really good. Thank you. I really appreciate you taking the time to help me out. I promise I’m a quick learner,” she said, which was maybe half-a-fib in general but not so much in this area, since she’d been a lifeguard back home so she knew the basics. “Before this, I was a lifeguard at a local pond over the summer and then at this, like, fitness center that was sort of bougie during the school year. Little kids and old people. That kind of thing. I’m going to have to contend with the fact that the... pool of regulars here look a little different.” She smiled indulgently at her own pun. “That’s probably going to be my most significant learning curve.” Alice picked absently at the nailfold of her thumb, then curled her fingers to make herself stop. “Oh, good!” she said sincerely. “We have that in common. I mean — I’m sober, but definitely... a little nervous. First day jitters.” First week of college jitters. First week without her dad or her cat or her lilac-painted bedroom or her bin of vinyl that used to be her mom’s or the hydrangeas in the backyard or the dilapidated swing set her uncle put together for her when she was four. No familiar faces (except Shiloh’s, of course). No old haunts. Lots of new new new. It was a lot of change, and she felt a kernel of her true self buried underneath it all. “But, um. Lead the way. I’m ready to go whenever.”

-

Swinging backpack up onto his shoulder, letting it hang from the one, Josh nodded his head. “ Yeah, ‘course, ” He assured casually. Like anyone, he said things he didn’t mean all the time, especially in new places with new people. But he was genuine about helping her if he could. Brows raised slightly when she said she had to psych herself up. Giving a small nod as he adjusted bag on his shoulder, double checked he’d paused the music playing from his phone, adjusted headphones around his neck slightly. He met her smile with a quick, small one of his own. Corners of his lips pulling up and holding it for a moment. He’s about to reach for his tray when she beats him to it. There wasn’t any need for repayment but there was a need for speed, so he saved his protest, “ Alright, thanks. I’ll meet you over there, ” He said, nodding towards the door he was fairly certain the person of interest had left through.

It’s not a long wait for her to catch up to him, taking the small moment to pull his backpack properly onto his back. Thumbs hooked around the straps as he looked through the glass window of the door to try and see anything. Concentration forming small crease between his brows, that he let go of when the other approached. Alice, she’d said that was her name, right? “ Hey, ready? ” He asked, already moving and pushing door open into the sunshine outside. Looking over his shoulder at her while he held it open. “ I think I saw him heading over that way, ” He pointed to the west side of campus, letting go of the door, “ Science building if I had to guess. ” And that was purely a guess, based on his own same textbook in his bag and where most of his classes were. Starting to move in that direction, he remembered a couple of things. “ Josh, by the way, ” He said, lifting hand to his chest indicating that was his own name. “ And time was of the essence back there, ” And now, but, anyway, they were moving now at least. “ But repayment? Not necessary. I feel like a bit of a dick I didn’t even think to take it to the student centre or something. ” He was trying to repay her for that.

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In the short timespan between when she cleaned up his tray and met up with him by the dining hall door, Alice realized: 1) she didn’t know this guy’s name, 2) he could’ve been talking totally out of his butt about the whole thing about seeing someone run off with her book, and 3) well, there wasn’t actually a third thing. But things usually came in threes, so it seemed necessary to tack it on regardless. She tried to push the pessimistic line of thinking brought on by point #2 out of her mind; her neuroses very rarely led her to the right conclusion, she reminded herself. “Ready steady,” she confirmed with a smile, then nodded as he pointed into the direction the book thief went off in. Now, as for point #1? Well — Josh, by the way. Josh. That was a good name. It was the name of one of her favorite West Wing characters, which felt like a pretty good sign.

“Alice,” she replied, then flushed sheepishly for having repeated herself. “Sorry. Gut instinct, I guess, like when a waitress says ‘enjoy your meal!’ and you sometimes go ‘you too!’ Doesn’t that feel sort of world-ending for a brief second? Like, oh my God, I can’t show my face at this Applebee’s ever gain.” She wasn’t rambling exactly, but she definitely felt like she was saying too much regardless. Alice was nervous, on many fronts and basically near-constantly. It was enough that she’d replay it over again and again before she went to sleep that night, that was for sure. Hoping to brush off her awkwardness, she resolutely followed Josh at a brisk pace with a new determination to be normal. Small fish, big pond. The first few weeks were bound to be rife with some weirdness. It was super duper normal. “We’ve found ourselves in a real conundrum, Josh. I think you deserve some kind of repayment, you seem to think I deserve some kind of repayment. Why don’t we call it even? Tabula rasa.” 

Alice roamed the halls of The Big Green (which everyone seemed to be calling the athletic complex), following the directions given to her via email, until she made it to what must’ve been a row of offices for various coaches and staff. One door was cracked open, with KRISTINE HARRITY on the nameplate outside. She took a deep breath, calming her nerves, and then walked up to the office. Knocking on the door frame, she then stuck her head in. “Oh! Hi, you’re — Are you Joe?” she asked, pointing a finger at the boy surrounded by kickboards and pull buoys, then quickly dropped it when she wondered if that was a rude thing to do. She was pretty sure an equipment check was also on the docket for today or tomorrow.  Alice would feel bad if he already started it without her. “Coach Harrity said you’d be able to show me the ropes?” She’d actually said ‘Call me Kristine’ in her email, but Alice was hesitant to do so right off the bat. “ And help me navigate this place,” she added on a little sheepishly, then stopped short. “I’m Alice Campbell, by the way. New lifeguard. Freshman. Rambling, for some reason... Sorry, I should probably give you a chance to talk too.”

…

sam, unlike alice, did not pay attention to her surroundings. she didn’t care where she was, all she cared about was getting her daily iced coffee before lazily making her way to her afternoon classes. instead of admiring the odd decor of the coffee shop, sam was on her phone, texting as she walked towards the line. expecting the person in front of her to keep walking towards the counter, she didn’t expect them to just stop and take a picture, which is how she ended up bumping into her. “jesus,” she muttered under her breath, looking up from her phone to see who it was just as alice started explaining. she looked over at what she was looking at and couldn’t help but let out a snort of a chuckle. “is that considered art?” she asked with a scoff. 

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Alice hadn’t expected much by way of a reply. It was already so strange being surrounded by strangers; not every interaction was an invitation to catchup, to ask how their mom was or if they tried out the new seasonal offering at Dunkies. So even if the girl’s response lacked a certain degree of warmth, Alice was hard-pressed to be totally disappointed. It was nice to be given an opening to chat, even if the tone of it already put her a bit on edge. “Oof, you would’ve just opened a whole can of worms in certain circles,” she said, fiddling with the phone in her hands. Flipping it over, pressing down on the lock button, then turning it slowly. She glanced away from the girl and back toward the mural, simply out of vague nerves and discomfort. “What is or isn’t considered art is an age-old debate.” Alice looked back over at the stranger. She shrugged with a little smile. “So what’s a thing need to be art to you, if this doesn’t pass the test?”

-

Yeah, Josh had guessed that might be the answer but that didn’t mean he felt great about delivering the news. With nothing left to say he tugged his lips to one side ad nodded as she made comment of her bad luck continuing. Then, brows raised slightly at what she said next. “ Well, I mean, probably. ” Josh wasn’t pro cop in any regard and thought the campus security were totally useless but, he could see the benefit in this situation. As much as it pained him to think so. “ So you have a report for you to give to the bookstore, sort of thing. But, the guy didn’t come through that long ago, ”  He said, gesturing over his shoulder in the direction the guy had walked. “ I don’t have class until later, ” In an hour, but still, that was later. “ We could try catching up to him. ” He suggested, standing and grabbing backpack from the floor as he did. Helping her would kinda be the least he could do after witnessing the book be wrongfully taken. “ Probably doesn’t even know it’s not his, you know ” He added, an attempt to make it all seem a little less dire. 

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We could try catching up to him. Alice didn’t hide her surprise. The thought of going after the guy didn’t cross her mind... like, at all. It placed a little stone of anxiety at the pit of her stomach. She focused instead on the fact that the boy in front of her offered his time and assistance, which was one of the most obvious displays of kindness she’d been on the receiving end of since she’d arrived at Essex. It wasn’t really in her nature to turn away from something like that. “You’d come with me? Really?” she double-checked, even though he had been the one to offer up the idea. Alice took a deep breath, then nodded. “Okay, then. Yeah, okay...” she started nonsensically. “I just need to psych myself up real quick. Don’t mind me.” Her gaze went skyward, where all there was to look at was the wooden beams cross-hatched on the ceiling of the dining hall. She could go after a potential textbook thief. What’s the worst that could happen in broad daylight? With numerous witnesses? And a traveling companion? Eyes squinted a second, she straightened her shoulders, then dropped her eyes back down to him. “Okay,” she repeated with a hesitant smile. “Let’s do this.” Her smile widened before she looked down at his tray, then reached out a hand. “Let me take that for you, I’ll clean it up in a jiffy and meet you by the door. You can consider it part of my repayment.”

-

“ It is one of my many, many talents, ” Shiloh replied with playful facetiousness, paired with a dramatic nod of her head. “ Lewis Carroll wishes, you know, ” She tacked on, and that’s where the smile broke through. A smirk tugging at the corner of her lips before she watched on as Alice took charge of hyping herself up. Offering her supporting in arms raised by her sides, hands in fists, and moving in little whooping motions without the actual vocal whooping. Attention whore as she was, she knew this was a moment best kept between them as much as it could be. It wasn’t a test, but if it went wrong, she didn’t want anyone bringing it up again. She did vocalise her support when Alice copied her words, a smile pulling up her features. “ Exactly, ” She dragged out, as hands fell to her sides again, “ You’ve got this. You’ve, like, so got this. It’s kinda crazy. ”

And then she didn’t. Shiloh cringed a little, sucking her teeth quietly and stepping forward with arms out as if she had any idea how to help. But, Alice got it under control. Thank god. She didn’t know what she was supposed to do in that situation. Kegs were just supposed to work for them, in her fantasy. She smiled again for a moment at mention of the Men in Black pens, though she quickly pulled up a blank slate to answer, “ I, like, don’t even know what you’re talking about. What pour? You’re championizing this big time, remember? ” She prompted playfully, immediately going along with the idea that she didn’t remember the last few moments. “ Totally surreal, ” She agreed, echoing Alice’s words before she put some thought into the question. She didn’t even know where you got a keg, were they just on the shelves of a liquor store? She’d always relied on other people, or once she’d stolen a bottle of wine from the cabinet in her family basement. Anwen had caught her and threatened to tell if she didn’t pour out a third (negotiated down from half) for her. “ Dylan McKinnon probably did, ” She came to after a moment of thought. Dylan McKinnon being that classic charismatic popular guy who didn’t give a shit about theatre but got a major role in one of the high school productions just because he was a guy and wasn’t totally against singing in front of a crowd. All of these traits had made him Shiloh’s arch nemesis for six months. In her mind only, of course. Because she was too chicken shit to ever actually do anything “ Or he went to one. Like, if anyone we know– knew? know? ” knew? Was it knew now they were in college? “ Whatever, if anyone was gonna know enough people to actually, like, drink through a keg, it would be him. There was no way there were big parties like this happening in high school and we didn’t know about it. Mathematically, that’s gotta be impossible. ”

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Alice would’ve liked to believe Shiloh’s logic but a part of her was still hard convinced that they were, somehow, very much left out of the equation many a time at Concord-Carlisle — but that was more personal anxiety than anything rooted in reality. She finally, slowly (with a few starts and stops), filled Shiloh’s cup, then held it out to her. “Your drink, m’lady,” Alice said, capping it off with a silly and small curtsy-bob. “Tipping your server is not only accepted but strongly encouraged, you know.” She shook her hand out by her side one more time before she set out to fill her own cup. A couple people approached and loitered just in her periphery, presumably waiting to top off their drinks. Alice tried not to let it psych her out; she tipped her head in their direction, then said to Shiloh in an undertone: “God grant me protection from the curse of performance anxiety.” She then held down the nozzle and let it spurt some liquid into the cup. At the sight of the initial success, she jokingly wiped the back of her hand across her forehead then pressed down again to finish filling it. With that out of the way, she returned to the talk about former classmates. It was a comfortable topic, for more than one reason, especially in a place as unfamiliar as this.

“But you’re right on the money. Dylan’s not only the type, but if he did have some kind of keg party, or like, went to one, then it would’ve been all over Snap too.” She rolled her eyes in amusement. “He’s probably going hard in Amherst right now. He told me that he picked it over Wheaton because of some online ranking of the ‘Top Party Schools in Massachusetts’. Get ready for some sloppy DM’s.” He had infamously, after all, hit on every single girl involved in the Spring production of The Drowsy Chaperone. Finishing off her pour, she reached out to place the nozzle back on top of the keg. Alice moved uncertainly, moving it left and then right, hyperaware of where the beer line would fall, or twist, and cause the nozzle to roll right off, until she gave up. She turned to the person closest to her and held it out with a little smile. “She’s a little persnickety, but she’ll do the trick,” she said and didn’t receive much of a response other than a nod of a head. Stepping back and next to Shiloh, she paused a moment, uncertain of what they were supposed to do next. She figured that socializing was called for, which she wasn’t inherently against. Alice liked talking to people, and she could talk a lot once she was comfortable, but that was the hitch: she was very much not comfortable. She took a sip from her beer, then wiped the foam from her lip with her fingers. “So... should we do a little exploring? I’m curious about how many fire safety violations are going on in here.”