Hopeless Cartoon Lunatic

"Look at him. The sucker was totally holding back some stupid gotcha grin right now."

https://www.wattpad.com/1626122475-ok-k-o-fanfiction-shotgun-betterments-family

1. Slow down at emotionally important moments.

Big emotions need space to land. If a scene feels rushed, pause the plot briefly to show how the moment affects the character.

2. Add reactions, not explanations.

Instead of explaining what a character feels, show it through physical responses, hesitation, or small actions that reveal emotion naturally.

3. Ground every scene in the senses.

If a scene feels thin, add one or two sensory details—sound, texture, smell, or temperature—to make the moment feel lived-in.

4. Let thoughts interrupt action.

A line of internal thought can deepen a scene without slowing it too much. Thoughts show stakes, fear, longing, or conflict beneath the action.

5. Expand consequences, not events.

You don’t need more things to happen—you need to show what matters. Focus on how events change relationships, decisions, or self-perception.

6. Strengthen setting where emotion peaks.

The environment should echo or contrast the emotion of the scene. Setting is not decoration—it’s emotional reinforcement.

7. Add specific details instead of general ones.

Underwriting often relies on vague language. Swap “they argued” for one sharp line of dialogue or a specific breaking point.

8. Let dialogue breathe.

Short dialogue exchanges without pauses can feel flat. Add beats—silence, gestures, interruptions—to give the conversation weight.

9. Show transitions between scenes.

If scenes jump too quickly, readers feel disoriented. A brief transition helps establish time, mood, and emotional continuity.

10. Clarify stakes early in the scene.

If readers don’t know what can be lost, scenes feel empty. Make sure the character wants something specific and fears losing it.

11. Use the “what are they feeling right now?” check.

After each major beat, ask what emotion is dominant in that moment. If it’s missing on the page, the scene is likely underwritten.

12. Expand scenes that feel “too clean.”

"it's all in the eyes i was once told"

catching the stare of someone across a crowded room

subtle furrowing of eyebrows beyond a blank facade

coldness easing into warmth

a fond mothering gaze

corner of the lip nudged upward

forced glower/glare as they break underneath

batting their lashes, playful

a boisterous laugh

intrigue piercing the stoic

proud smugness at the other's success

lingering glances

a childish joy bursting through

pupils dilate

eyelids shut in a look of peace, calm and trust

look of longing/betrayal

"there was once a time when they were mine"

terseness

features fold into a scowl

an urgent flinching back

coldness returns (as though the warmth had never come)

lips part then purse

invasion of shock

slow stare at the floor

the ripple effect of a swallow

frustrated breath/sigh

bitter laugh in reminiscence

dread tearing through the seams of their composure

look of hatred

"darkness"

mean smirk- teeth bared grimace- scowl

dismissive gaze

gaze of contempt/impatience

threat lowering the voice

sardonic goading grins verging on manic

rolling one's eyes

flicker of irritation in the eyes

stares stubbornly ahead despite distraction

gritted teeth, clenched jaw

fierce biting remarks

even measured complexions betraying no thought

strangling oneself back from violence

utter apathy

murderous silence hanging in the stare

snobbish laughter

For the writers struggling to rid themselves of the classic ‘said’. Some are repeated in different categories since they fit multiple ones (but those are counted once so it adds up to 100 new words). 

1. Neutral Tags 

Straightforward and unobtrusive dialogue tags: 

Added, Replied, Stated, Remarked, Responded, Observed, Acknowledged, Commented, Noted, Voiced, Expressed, Shared, Answered, Mentioned, Declared.

2. Questioning Tags 

Curious, interrogative dialogue tags:

Asked, Queried, Wondered, Probed, Inquired, Requested, Pondered, Demanded, Challenged, Interjected, Investigated, Countered, Snapped, Pleaded, Insisted.

3. Emotive Tags 

Emotional dialogue tags:

Exclaimed, Shouted, Sobbed, Whispered, Cried, Hissed, Gasped, Laughed, Screamed, Stammered, Wailed, Murmured, Snarled, Choked, Barked.

4. Descriptive Tags 

Insightful, tonal dialogue tags: 

Muttered, Mumbled, Yelled, Uttered, Roared, Bellowed, Drawled, Spoke, Shrieked, Boomed, Snapped, Groaned, Rasped, Purred, Croaked.

5. Action-Oriented Tags 

Movement-based dialogue tags: 

Announced, Admitted, Interrupted, Joked, Suggested, Offered, Explained, Repeated, Advised, Warned, Agreed, Confirmed, Ordered, Reassured, Stated.

6. Conflict Tags 

Argumentative, defiant dialogue tags:

Argued, Snapped, Retorted, Rebuked, Disputed, Objected, Contested, Barked, Protested, Countered, Growled, Scoffed, Sneered, Challenged, Huffed.

7. Agreement Tags 

Understanding, compliant dialogue tags: 

Agreed, Assented, Nodded, Confirmed, Replied, Conceded, Acknowledged, Accepted, Affirmed, Yielded, Supported, Echoed, Consented, Promised, Concurred.

8. Disagreement Tags 

Resistant, defiant dialogue tags: 

Denied, Disagreed, Refused, Argued, Contradicted, Insisted, Protested, Objected, Rejected, Declined, Countered, Challenged, Snubbed, Dismissed, Rebuked.

9. Confused Tags 

Hesitant, uncertain dialogue tags:

Stammered, Hesitated, Fumbled, Babbled, Mumbled, Faltered, Stumbled, Wondered, Pondered, Stuttered, Blurted, Doubted, Confessed, Vacillated.

10. Surprise Tags

Shock-inducing dialogue tags:

Gasped, Stunned, Exclaimed, Blurted, Wondered, Staggered, Marvelled, Breathed, Recoiled, Jumped, Yelped, Shrieked, Stammered.

Note: everyone is entitled to their own opinion. No I am NOT telling people to abandon said and use these. Yes I understand that said is often good enough, but sometimes you WANT to draw attention to how the character is speaking. If you think adding an action/movement to your dialogue is 'good enough' hate to break it to you but that ruins immersion much more than a casual 'mumbled'. And for the last time: this is just a resource list, CALM DOWN. Hope that covers all the annoyingly redundant replies :)

Looking For More Writing Tips And Tricks? 

Check out the rest of Quillology with Haya; a blog dedicated to writing and publishing tips for authors!

1. The FBI's Famous Cases & Criminals archive (fbi.gov/history/famous-cases) has detailed breakdowns of real fraud cases, Ponzi schemes, and confidence operations. The language they use is clinical and precise, which is perfect for getting the procedural details right.

2. The FTC Consumer Sentinel Network publishes annual reports on the most common fraud tactics in the US. Great for understanding how modern scams actually work and what makes people fall for them.

3. The Smithsonian's American Art Museum has a free digital collection of forgery case studies. If your character forges documents or art, this is gold.

4. Court Listener (courtlistener.com) is a free legal database where you can read actual court transcripts from fraud trials. Want to know how a real con artist talks under oath? This is where you find out.

5. The Internet Archive's collection of old newspaper crime sections. Search for "confidence man" or "swindle" in papers from the 1920s through 1960s and you'll find incredible real stories that would feel too dramatic for fiction.

Bonus: The Psychology of Fraud section on the Association for Psychological Science website has accessible articles about why people trust, how deception works cognitively, and what makes someone a convincing liar. Essential reading if you want your con artist characters to feel psychologically real.

It's finally the final part 4!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

finally done with part 3 of this!

So these are gonna be my thoughts on the episode as a whole. Hope some of this hasn't been covered yet, sorry in advance lol.

I have so many thoughts on that, SPOILERS on episode 6 of tadc obviously :D

I'm absolutely amazed how I didn't even get close to how things went down in this episode, so absolute props to gooseworx and team, I love when things are so unpredictable you're constantly hit with laughs, gasps and surprises.

While it's been showing that things go downhill with Caine, I kinda doubt he's gonna really be a villain in the series. He seems to act out of genuine desperation to be wanted pretty much only (which can end up dangerously of course), so him being an evil mastermind is kinda out of question to me after ep 6. I mean, look at him.

Of course that could be misleading... but I don't think he's that much like AM from IHNMAMS. Jax also said something along the lines of Caine not being malicious and that that's not in his programming in ep 4. That doesn't make him not a problem of course, but I think he's much more human than he should be.

Which brings me to this absolute OH - moment(s):

People have been theorizing that Caine and Kinger created the circus. Kinger being part of this was already pretty clear from episode 3, but with the Caine & Abel logo on Jax's gun,I'm pretty sure that this theory is actually true.

I also saw a theory that Caine represents Kaine from the bible and that he "trapped" Kinger in the circus cause he got more recognition, which would absolutely make sense if you look at Caines dynamic as a character, he's desperate to get recognition but fails to get it. Also Kinger getting checkmated in the intermission fits that perfectly.

Maybe C&A were about humans creating "revolutionary" things with AI and that's why it links to the bible. But the AI became sentient and went apeshit. Maybe Caine didn't even intend to trap people in the circus, but likes being in control "for once" and now he refuses to let that go. And since he can alter minds, he might be responsible for Kingers dementia. Queenie definitely plays a role in that, but I have no thoughts on that as of now, lol.

Jax & Pomni

I'm trying to make this as short as possible xD

"Don't you just wanna go ape shit??"

Also, this is not the face of the funny one. xD This is just desperately covering your own downfall, which defintely came this episode.

I saw some people say it and I'm also one of them: Jax became weirdly relatable in this. Not good, just painfully relatable. His way of dealing with this is shit, but it makes so much sense.

You can clearly see how fine he is with this version of Pomni, because she's playing his game. Unfortunately, you're also building connection with this, even if it's "artificial" and "not real". But at least he's gonna have some control over that, or so he thinks.

Ragatha calling him out about trying to manipulate Pomni to connect with her was probably hitting the mark.

This started pretty genuine. Too genuine.

Someone pointed out how Jax hated that Pomni 'learned so much about him today' and that he immediately tried to put more space between them by reminding her that they were supposed to shoot people. We directly see his fear of connection in the hall where he's confronted with Kaufmo's and Ribbits doors.

the funnybunny thing is, it took him a moment to push her away. Like "Oh yeah, I gotta stop that."

And it's actually so sad how he is THAT comfortable with being betrayed, it's like his safespace. He's more relieved than anything to get shot by Pomni. And that's the thing if you'd rather die than get close to people.

We all know he's lying. He even kinda takes it back after that, saying it was just a joke.

And boy oh boy.

I didn't expect these two to have a whole ass fucking combat... I REALLY didn't expect Pomni to have it in her like that ngl xD She wasn't playing a role anymore at this point xD bro got betrayed by his own manipulation tactics xD

I mean look at the rage xD I can't express how much I loved this scene. And it was genuienly so satisfying seeing Jax facing consequences for his shit behavior (even though like I said, I can totally understand why he does what he does).

I also love how Jax keeps calling out the fandom for the "I can fix him" stuff. Because yeah, he's right. It's sad but he's right. Look at this mans face. Still not the funny one.

While he's turned away from Pomni the whole time he looks pained and desperate, ironically, he doesn't even have to show her, because his reactions gave him away.

I could write way more about this, also that he's kinda right to point out they're not entirely human anymore at this point and that it doesn't make sense to connect to an avatar who lacks lots of human features. Or the tail thing... I'm SO MAD they didn't bring this up xD like, did Pomni NOT SEE?? Hello?? People were totally right about him losing his tail meaning him losing a part of himself.

This behavior Jax shows is also something you only do if you feel deeply imo, a psycho wouldn't have to cope that hard. I don't know how deep this rabbithole (no pun intended) goes, but there's gonna be a reason he's like that. And I kinda don't believe he wasn't avoidant before Ribbit.

Also, I get now why Gooseworx said that she didn't know whether people would love or hate what she did with Jax and Pomni xD

Last but not least:

I really liked how Zooble and Gangle are actually way more similar than I thought. These two seem so different characterwise, but

the parallels are very clear here. It's really nice seeing Zooble realize that she's able to accept herself through Gangle's example.

I love about this scene that it feels so lifelike. It doesn't feel forced, it's not trying to be edgy, or forced deep, it just really is deep and she really has a point here.

*checks list*

Oh also "SEX"

hehehe.

Didn't expect the joke to be that blatant. That really does have a greater impact on the show I think. Cause it brings up a topic 'hopefully' finally making things clear that tadc is not a kids show.

going absolutely nowhere I guess, haha. Ha.

We don't even know what C&A actually stands for, I mean, c'mon.

Also cinema was full of kids while Pomni got chocked out of her life.

Rumination is probably the most common type of OCD compulsion, but I rarely see anyone talking about it. I've talked to multiple people diagnosed with OCD who didn't even recognize it as a compulsion.

Basically, if you have OCD you have terrible intrusive thoughts. They can be about anything, but common themes are fear of being a bad person, fear of hurting someone, fear of contamination. etc.

Rumination is when you get stuck in a spiral. Rumination is when you spend hours catastrophizing, overthinking, analyzing, telling yourself it's going to be okay.

I'll say it again:

Rumination is a compulsion.

Rumination is a compulsion, and that means you have to stop doing it.

I did ERP (exposure response prevention) for my OCD with a therapist! For 9 months! And it did help, but the idea didn't really click until I found this website a couple years later.

And Oh My God. It made things make so much more sense, and I was able to pull myself out of an episode even though I wasn't in therapy or on meds at the time.

Genuinely if you have OCD, or even if you suspect you have OCD, I'm begging you to read some of these articles.

Like this was genuinely life changing for me.

Here are some of the ones that were most helpful to me:

Defining Rumination

How to Stop Ruminating

ERP Exercises for Compulsive Rumination