House of Weirdness

look what you did internet

A painter in Los Angeles kept missing his exit for the I-5 on the 110 highway, so he did his research, climbed up the overhead sign, and changed it himself without anyone noticing.

This is Richard Ankrom. He couldn’t find his damn exit, cuz it wasn’t properly labelled.  

So he took life by the balls, like any self-respecting Californian would do, and used his sign-painting expertise to fix it himself.

He called it ‘guerilla public service.’ Even got himself an outfit to look official. It worked, obvi.

Caltrans investigated, but the sign was actually up to code. They left it there for 8 years before they made an updated sign.

Who alway got in trouble? Me.

They would call my mother and she always came in and lectures my teachers and threatened to sue for making her miss work and treating me poorly.

She always taught my brothers to respect women. The only fights my brothers ever got in was defending women from someone else.

So naturally, I end up in the principal’s office, refusing to apologize. 

“He shouldn’t have put his hands on me and I wouldn’t have hit him!” That’s the only thing I was saying.

These people had the unfortunate luck of catching my dad at home, instead of my mom. So he comes fucking sauntering in there, like he’s Clint fucking Eastwood in some western movie and looks at me. 

“Melissa, did you punch him?” 

“Yes.” I said. 

“Why?” 

“Because he snapped my bra strap.” 

And he turns his squinty eyed glare to the principal and says, “You’re telling me my daughter is in trouble because that squirrely looking kid put his hands on her and she chose to defend herself? That’s what you are saying to me.” 

“Well, sir-” The man kind of stuttered because my dad is kind of intimidating in the quiet sort of way that kind of whispers in the back of your mind that this person could be dangerous. “Melissa did make it physical.” 

“No. That kid put his hands on my daughter. Are you saying my daughter cannot defend herself when some boy decides to put hands on her? Is that what you are teaching my girl?”