THHHH

people still follow this blog? even tho I haven’t posted a thing in like 4 months? wow, I mean I still like fantrolls but I am still very heavily disgusted by the homestuck fandom as a whole and i find the community a little disheartening at times. but I follow good people and Like seeing their stuff on my dash.

Honestly I am not even an rp blog anymore at this post. I’m just a shit person who posts art and posts stuff no  one really seems to care about. I mean like, I have zero friends here other then Craig. Reason? I push people away when  I don’t mean to but hey, here I am.

still the same sad sack of shit as I want back when I was in college, now I’m a sack of shit who can’t do anything right. Honestly it’s surprising that I managed to maintain 327 of you all. I mean, I may not even rp with you guys because you know, I don’t rp anymore in general. Myabe in private with close friends and everything but you know, I’m glad you guys at least care enough not to unfollow because of how inactive I’ve been. Like, thanks. I know I’m late but this is the 4th annverisy of me and craig’s friendship. not this blog because my first blog is stewing in some backwater of tumblr with someone with my old url. I’ve come a long way and now I’m just, kind of glad I’m alive today even.

I’ve been struggling really hard with suicide lately and I’ve been constantly wanting to kill myself with how much my life has fallen apart. Seriously, I had a college career and I blew it, scored the lowest in my class and never went back, I had a job but I blew that too because I couldn’t keep my emotions in check , and now? well I have nothing. I’m living at home because I no longer could afford to live in lethbridge without any income to pay for it. I couldn’t get a job during college either because apparently my classmates were more experienced then me and well, I managed to get everyone in my class to hate me while I was there too. 

I’m living at home now, kind of just being a waste of space. I’ve been roleplaying on another account in another fandom. Made new friends, kept old one and wanted to reconnect with old ones but well

let’s face it, I’m nothing right now.

oh well.

here’s to another year of nothingness.

ugh i’m sorry i didn’t reply right away hhaa

based off this gif, bonus image: