Creeps Everywhere

I’m fairly new to Genshin Impact, not even 10 hours into playing, but among the early game characters, Kaeya is easily my favorite. So, while I’m early to the game, the combat is rather simple all things considered, and I’d like to adapt Kaeya to a DnD format.

Genshin Impact may be a Chinese game, but if it looks like an anime and feels like an anime, I call that an anime character. My standard rule of thumb is that any anime character is a variant human unless they are clearly not human. We’ll give Kaeya +1 INT, +1 DEX, proficiency with History, and the Elemental Adept feat to empower his cold-damage spells.

For his background, Kaeya’s first mission for us is a phony sting operation, which leads me to label him an Investigator for Insight and Investigation.

Kaeya is willing to deceive the Traveler to apprehend a criminal. Manipulating your friends to stop crime is rather Chaotic Good.

FIGHTER ELDRITCH KNIGHT

Kaeya uses a sword, he’s intelligent, and his spell diversity is rather limited. I call that an Eldritch Knight. There’s room to argue he’s a Bladesinger, but there’s not a whole lot of spells that deal Cold damage that are above 5th level spell slots. Sadly, Eldritch Knights only get 4th level spells, so if you want Kaeya to have access to Cone of Cold or Otto’s Freezing Sphere, he’s going to need some levels of School of Evocation Wizard to increase his capacity for cold magic. But that’s purely optional.

BASIC INFORMATION

STATS STR 8 DEX 20 CON 16 INT 20 WIS 12 CHA 10

SAVING THROWS STR +5 DEX +5 CON +9 INT +5

FIGHTING STYLE Dueling

HP 164 AC: 15 Speed: 30 ft Initiative: +5 Number of Attacks: 4 Passive Perception: 15

SKILLS Athletics History Insight Investigation Perception

FEATS Elemental Adept - Cold

Kaeya’s Spell List

C Frostbite, Ray of Frost, Shape Water 1 Ice Knife, Mage Armor, Shield 2 Dragon’s Breath*, Icingdeath’s Frost, Hold Person, Magic Weapon, Snilloc’s Snowball Storm 3 Glyph of Warding, Sleet Storm, Spirit Shroud 4 Control Water, Ice Storm

- a/n: i’ve already written for kaeya in a very similar scenario here [x]- which was of the traveler leaving mondstat- so just to kinda specify the difference here, this is about the darling just leaving teyvat as in leaving the world- it doesn’t have to be the traveler really (let’s just… assume there’s other outlanders), but just thought i’d specify the difference! after all, leaving a country has much lower stakes than leaving the world. 

- warnings: general yandere content, nonconsensual use of drugs, implied physical violence

♥︎ diluc ragnvindr

diluc is stubborn. he doesn’t want to face his feelings- he’s too busy, he has priorities, he can’t let himself get too close to someone like that; he tries to suppress his “crush”, and it festers and grows unchecked, spiraling out into an unhealthy obsession wherein diluc doesn’t even notice how suddenly all he seems to think about is them

he should be concentrating on keeping mondstat safe. he should be putting his energy into doing what the knights seem to fail to do- and yet even when he’s slashing down enemies or getting information, his mind invariably always settles on thoughts of them. are they safe right now? are they in the city, or traveling the roads? if they’re out, are they staying clear from hilichurl camps? they aren’t hurt, right?

“master diluc, you called for me?” they come into the winery, weapon slung over their back. he frowns- they look disheveled, as if they’d gotten into a scuffle before getting there. he knows that slimes tend to frequent around the winery, much to his distaste- in theory, he’s well aware that they’re capable enough to fend off against some slimes, but it still leaves a bitter taste in his mouth to think of them being attacked by monsters. still, the sight of them calms his heart- he’d been gone for some weeks chasing down some information from some abyss mages, and the only thing he’d been able to think about was whether his… “friend” was safe. he’d never admit it if asked, but he didn’t actually have a real reason to have summoned them here; he just… needed to see them. it was fine; he could just say he wanted to discuss something. anything. it didn’t matter, as long as he could keep them close for a while.

even if he refuses to think about his own emotions, they keep growing. past crush, past love, morphing into obsession, stalkerish, feverish obsession. it’s not hard for him to get information of their whereabouts, but it’s just not enough. what can he do if he’s far away and they’re in danger? there’s nothing he can do by just knowing that- and he’s running out of excuses to invite them over and make them stay the night in one of the guest rooms, he’s running out of excuses to make them stick by him

he’s so caught up in his own dilemma of trying to keep them close, of keeping them safe (despite them being able to hold up on their own- he can’t trust anyone to keep them safe, not the knights, not themselves, if he’s not the one to protect them he can’t rest) that the thought of them simply not… belonging on teyvat never crosses his mind. not until they mention how they’ve found a way to leave

leave teyvat. just- leave the world, take flight and go far beyond where any archon- where diluc- can reach. and something in him breaks. it’s no longer him just wanting them to be safe; it’s something much more selfish, much more simple- he doesn’t want them to leave. and yet he tries to cover it up, to justify it: he needs to stop them for their own good. he needs to stop them; surely, they don’t understand what they’re doing, he’s right, he’s reasonable and calculated, he’s doing what he has to-

“i can’t let you leave.” diluc’s words are scarily serious. in his table, it’s just him and his beloved (that’s the word, that’s what they are; he’s in too deep to try and fool himself they’re anything but, not with the way his heart speeds up with them, not with the way his jealousy flares when they as much as speak to someone else). their eyes widen for a second, and then they seem to try and relax, perhaps trying to tell themselves diluc is cracking a joke. but diluc isn’t the type to kid around- and as his gaze digs into them, they’re suddenly painfully aware of the fact their weapon isn’t with them, their bag with all their belongings stashed away in a guest room. diluc notices their rising panic- he understands, he really does, but this is for their own good. “don’t try to stand too fast- you’re not making it too far. don’t worry, the drug in your drink isn’t dangerous. i just need you asleep so you don’t do something stupid and hurt yourself.”

if the people of mondstat knew their beloved darknight hero, knew that the handsome bachelor and wine tycoon diluc was capable of this- of drugging someone so he could lock them inside his own home- they’d be horrified. and he’s horrified, too; diluc isn’t even given the respite of deluding himself into thinking his actions are correct, but he can at least tell himself they’re justified. he isn’t- it’s not as if he’s forcing himself onto them, or hurting them, he’s just keeping them safe. he’s doing what he has to do.

diluc becomes almost condescending. at first he just takes away all weapons (if his darling has a vision he’ll be taking that too), keeping them in a windowless, but furnished, room. and then he takes away all objects he deems “dangerous”- perhaps he can see how depressed and hurt they are, how badly he’s destroyed them, and he fears they’ll try to hurt themselves in retaliation- any vaguely sharp or heavy object is taken away, furniture bolted to the ground, utensils taken away after every meal. “keeping them safe” may be what he claims he’s doing, but in reality, he’s almost infantilizing them, his twisted obsession and desire to protect them culminating in an almost bizarre behaviour in which he doesn’t show affection towards them but almost seems to expect them to all of a sudden give him the much-desired attention he craves

“you- why won’t you cooperate and understand? quit being so immature- i’m trying to keep you safe, don’t you get it?” the frustration in diluc’s voice is almost palpable as he looks at his darling. they’re huddled in the bed, refusing to speak or move. it shouldn’t be shocking- it’s been what, four months? maybe five, six? since he crushed their dreams of leaving the land, since he essentially took their life into his hands. he knows that what he did wasn’t good, but he just doesn’t understand why they’re acting like this. he’s decorated their room perfectly, no dangers and no sharp corners, highly-expensive furniture bolted to the ground, he’s given them books and harmless gadgets to entertain themselves with, he’s done everything he can to make a small safe heaven for them, and yet they’re so… ungrateful, flinching when he walks in, always crying. they’re lucky that diluc’s obsession doesn’t run a more violent course; he doesn’t consider using violence to finally make them answer, despite how easy it’d be to heat his hands just enough to hurt with his vision, despite how easy it’d be to finally make them realize how hard he’s working for them by reminding them how pain feels and how he’s making sure they don’t feel it- but no, he won’t. or at least, not yet.

♥︎ kaeya alberich

kaeya isn’t subtle about his attraction to them, but he never sends a clear signal- if there’s one thing he is not, it’s easy to read. when he first begins to find his mind full of thoughts about them, when he finds himself staring at them, throwing flirty comments with the intent to actually flatter and not fluster, kaeya takes it in stride as well as he can

… which is, shockingly, not was well as one would think. for all kaeya plays around as a “playboy” or “big flirt”, when it comes to actual feelings, he’s not experienced. in fact, he finds himself almost… hurting. he never gets too close to people, never leaves an opening for himself to get hurt, and yet he can tell he’s fallen hard for the outlander

feelings of jealousy and possessiveness seem to come in clutch, a rather ironic thing considering that while kaeya won’t tolerate even a compliment towards them, always stepping in and whisking them away, he seems to still be freely flirting with anyone he pleases- but really, it’s just a feeble attempt to keep up the normalcy. kaeya knows better than anyone how easy it is to form rumors, and he doesn’t quite want people speaking because he’s suddenly stopped his flirty behaviour and always hangs around one specific person

“could i perhaps bother you for a second? you see, jean asked me to go investigate some ruins near starsnatch cliff, but all the knights are busy right now. it’ll be a quick job, just come and go- care to accompany me? of course, i’ll treat you to a hot meal afterwards, as thanks.” kaeya is smooth and doesn’t falter as he speaks to them, watching as their face brightens at the mention of a warm meal. perhaps it’s mean of him to use that for leverage- as an outlander, they don’t have any home to call their own, often camping outside or paying for inns when the can afford to- and he knows very well a proper warm meal isn’t common for them. also, he’s lying through his teeth. he knows damn well there’s a ruin guard laying dormant in the ruins (that’s actually the reason why he’s supposed to go there, to get rid of it)- and with only two people, who knows how long it’ll take for them to get rid of the machine. but it’s fine- it’s just a little danger, it’s worth it for some time with them

the habit of lying to his darling to get them to do as he pleases is one kaeya can’t shake off. they aren’t naive, per se, but they can’t help but be a bit lost when it comes to cultural or historical things to do with the land, something kaeya is more than willing to use to his advantage. he doesn’t mind danger- doesn’t mind leading them right into a hilichurl camp so he can “save them”, doesn’t mind treking out right before a storm so they’re “stuck with him” on a tent while the weather clears out

there’s no formal relationship- kaeya never confesses, never decides to call them his partner- and yet it almost feels like he’s singlehandedly decided he’s dating them now. pet names, dates, affection; it’s all too much at once, and yet his smooth and tricky demeanour makes it almost impossible to turn any of it down. it’s as if he’s suddenly speeding up, going faster than before; perhaps because he fears they’ll soon try to leave mondstat- but oh, wouldn’t it be awful if the people began to talk about how they came in, seduced the cavalry captain, and then left? that’d be quite horrible, wouldn’t it? perhaps they’ll have to stay just a bit more- to clear things up and whatnot

“now, now, don’t be so hasty. where are you going now? you wouldn’t be thinking of leaving without me, would you?” the outlander seems to almost jump out of their skin as kaeya seemingly pops out of nowhere, sliding his arm around their shoulder. they’re at mondstat’s gates; they’d truly just meant to go out and train, to have a breather (to try and get some alone time, before kaeya dragged them off to do some weird quest or job), and yet the blue-haired captain had somehow caught them at the gate. they weren’t sneaking out; they had all the right to come and go, and yet dread pools in their gut, feeling as if though they’d been caught doing something wrong. kaeya chuckles, but the look in his eye isn’t quite as entertained. “i can’t say i’m a fan of you doing this, darling.”

when did his little lovesick fantasies evolve from just dreaming of kissing them and holding them to wanting to see them cry? when did the emotion he thought was love morph into the dark, unsightly obsession that churned in him, spurring him to keep manipulating and bending his darling to his will? it’s perhaps tragic that kaeya has never been one to bother himself too much with having good morals; he’s willing to do whatever it takes to get the results he wants in any scenario

and so hearing his darling shakily admit that they’re trying to figure out how to leave just spurs him on. oh, it breaks him, don’t get him wrong; kaeya’s had enough of being abandoned, of being tossed aside. and even though he rarely lets his heart be seen, in that moment, his darling sees him as vulnerable as he can be- crying, clinging to them. are they going to abandon him too, huh? toss him aside and leave him to fend for himself? it’s miserable and shocking; perhaps enough to temporarily stun his darling, to make them falter. it’s so easy to forget months of manipulation and pain seeing kaeya’s tears and hearing his sobs- it’s… too easy to tell themselves they “can stay a while more”

and that “while” might turn longer than they think. there’s nothing for kaeya to lose anymore; he can’t “move too fast” now, because he can either pounce or he can lose his darling forever. it’s a high stakes situation, and even if it takes destroying their weapons and any sort of power they have, even if it takes him locking them away in the basement to his home, it’s ok. it would have ended in this anyways and he knows it; eventually he’d have cracked, he’d have taken them for himself anyways. they just sped up the process

there are 8 different results all with positive descriptions!

Turns out sometimes the most evolutionary useful thing you can do is chill and not wear yourself to shreds, whether mammal or insect. It helps you deal with emergencies and adapt to change. Plus, you can act as living food storage!

Yeah, they spend 16-20 hours of the day laying around, socializing, raising Cubs and napping.

The last 4-8 hours are spent hunting.

Wait wait, they’re not a primate so they don’t count.

How about Orangutans?

Well, they spend 90% of their time awake just hanging out in food-rich areas, eating fruit and leaves, socializing, raising children, and chilling.

Well, they’re not people so it doesn’t-

How about Stone Age people in Europe?

They probably worked 3-5 hours per day, every day. (Though seasonal changes in food scarcity could change that)

Laborers in ancient Egypt worked 8 hours, with an hour break at lunch. They did this for 8 days, then rested 2 days. That sounds familiar. Except… they also had regular time off for festivals and holidays, and only worked for about 18 out of every 50 days.

Artisans in imperial Rome generally worked from 6am to Noon, and then had the rest of the day off… and only worked for half the year, due to all the holidays and festivals they got off.

But that’s too easy, what about a Peasant in medieval England?

6-8 hours per day, with Sundays off, Farm workers put in longer hours at harvest time but worked shorter days in winter when there are fewer hours of daylight. Economist Juliet Schor estimates that in the period following the Plague they worked no more than 150 days a year, due to the long holidays and many festivals.

Ugh, let’s go poorer. 17th century France. Starvation was afoot for the working poor!

During the reign of King Louis XIV, the workers of France had it tough, and hunger for the poorest was a fact of life. The typical working day was as much as 12 hours long, but two hours were set aside midday for lunch and perhaps an afternoon nap. Nevertheless, the Ancient Régime is said to have also guaranteed peasants, labourers and other workers a total of 52 Sundays, 90 rest days and 38 religious holidays off per year, meaning they worked just 185 out of 365 days.

So what changed?

The industrial revolution, baybe~~

New factory owners could work their employees to the bone due to a lack of regulation and abundance of cheap labour.

The typical factory worker in mid 19th-century England toiled away for a soul-destroying 16 hours a day, six days a week, 311 days per year!

THAT nightmare became the standard by which western society began to judge “work-life balance” and anything gentler than the industrial factory’s unfettered brutality is considered “softness”

(So many people died being mangled in those machines. Hair handkerchiefs went into style during American industrialization because working women would otherwise get their hair caught in the machines, and be either scalped or be bodily pulled inside to die…. But that’s a horror for another time)

Americans in 2020 worked an average of 8.5 hours per day on weekdays, plus another 5 hours on weekends.

Taking out federal holidays and weekends, we work 262 days per year. Most of us get 5-9 sick days to take per year. (Yes, a fixed number, no matter how sick you really are), and usually either no paid vacation, or 7-15 days paid vacation, depending on seniority and the company. Unpaid vacation doesn’t have a max, but taking it often risks you getting fired.

Even comparing against the poorest laborers in ancient history the current working structure for humans is, frankly, inhumane.

We are mammals. Let us rest. Let us celebrate holidays and attend festivals. Let us attend to our homes and families.

Even the ultra wealthy folks who got their heads chopped off gave us more time off than this!!!

Someone in the comments said something like “humans are instinctively industrious and productive, as social creatures!”

Buddy, that’s a lie fed to you by capitalism.

In our default state, we attend to our families yes, but we also party like hell, lounge around, and make fantastic works of art just to be proud of ourselves. We made beautiful things for the joy of creating them.

Stone Age humans may have spent a couple hours hunting and gathering, but DEFINITELY spent loads of time painting every available surface. Time and weather washed most of it away, but some places like Arizona and Colorado still preserve a few of the endless murals made by ancient hands.

Evidence shows that the ancient world was COVERED in paintings and etchings - just saturated with images of birds and beasts and humans, sunsets and cool weather. We invented mythologies and painted about them. We did something impressive, and painted about it. We taught our children how to paint and lifted them into our shoulders so they could mark the ceiling.

In our most base state, humans will work enough to survive, but our instincts demand we use all other time to create art. We want to communicate. To make connections.

“Working” or “being productive” is not on that list.

It is 2.9×4.3 meters large. That’s 9'4"×14'1" for people in other measurement systems. It’s HUGE. There are artists out there that spend years on paintings much smaller than this. He was not one of them.

He also didn’t only paint the sea, but he MOSTLY painted the sea. Very few people could draw light filtering through waves the way this guy did and apparently it was tied into his layering technique that allowed him to paint so goddamn fast.

Ending is happy: nice

Teacher: Congratulations, Miles. Your paper on multi-dimensional physics has attracted a TON of interest from our Science Mentorship partners. We’ve found you a really wonderful Science Mentor who’s going to be helping you prepare your Youth Science Innovators presentation this week.

Miles: Oh, wow, my parents are gonna be so proud.

Teacher: So, let me introduce you to Dr. Olivia Octavius. Thank you, doctor, for being part of this mentorship program.

Liv: It’s my pleasure, I’m just happy I can help inspire the science community of tomorrow.

Miles: … D:

Important additions:

- Liv is 100% legitimately invested in being a good Science Mentor. After all, today’s young scientists are tomorrow’s reality-warping coworkers.

- Miles’s paper was an edited version of his research on small, stable inter-dimensional portals, so he can hang out with Gwen/get multiverse help against major threats.

- Sometimes, Miles forgets to be scared or angry at Doc Ock and starts actually learning from her, except she inevitably proposes something super unethical and then unconvincingly adds “…theoretically, of course” and Miles starts planning how to counter whatever doom-bot she’s just come up with as Spider-Man.

- May Parker has been helping Miles with spider-gadgets and general science stuff after school. At some point, she and Liv have an angry shouting match over who gets science-custody of their science-nephew.

- Miles has to figure out how to turn down a very plush internship offer from Octavius at the end of the week. His parents insist he take it, he fails to come up with a good reason not to that doesn’t involve Spider-Man knowledge. His parents have Liv over for dinner, she speaks highly of their son and his bright future. The family loves her.

Someone: “Our primary suspect is Doc Ock.”

Miles: “It’s not Doc Ock.”

Someone: “How do you know?”

⚠️PLEASE BOOST THIS POST⚠️

Let’s talk about white privilege. 

I know this is different from what I normally put on here, but this is something that needs to be addressed. I am biracial—half white and half Asian—though because of my appearance, I am hardly ever labeled as white. As someone who is not white passing despite being white, while I experience other forms of privilege, I do not often experience white privilege and have been on the receiving end of hate and racism more times than I can count even when living in what is supposed to be a more sheltered area. For those of you who might comment that you are tired of seeing politics in art, let me remind you that: 

1) I am tired of being discriminated against just because of my race. I am tired of being called slurs, I am tired of people pulling their eyes back to mock my heritage, and I am tired of stereotypes that plague the Asian community stemming from ignorance and hate. These examples just barely scratch the surface.

2) art has always been tied to politics somehow, and there have been countless instances where it’s been used to make political statements. This is no different. 

3) racism is a humanitarian issue that has been radicalized for political gain, and it’s something that everyone should be actively aware of regardless of your race.