but I stay silly :3

was talking to a coworker and realised i could not for the life of me remember his name but i was too embarrassed to ask because we've spoken multiple times so mid-conversation i started concocting a plan to nudge the conversation towards the ID photos on our building passes so that i could be like oh my ID photo is awful haha the camera they use to take these has a real talent for making me look as unphotogenic as possible and then he would say oh yes me too haha everyone says that (because they do) and then i would be able to say well let me see yours it can't be as bad as mine! and he would show me his ID because we are coworkers and why wouldn't he and this would allow me to see his building pass which of course would have his name on it and then i would be able to say well yours is perfectly nice it must be me that's the problem! and then we would have a polite chuckle about it and i would have his name without needing to ask for it and he would be none the wiser and all would be well but then before i could execute this fine plan a little voice in my head went "so this is some light yagami bull shit you are about to pull" which was such a violent reality check it shocked me completely out of my embarrassment and i went "hey im so sorry your name has slipped my mind could you remind me" and he did and it was fine.

"This is some Light Yagami bull shit you are about to pull" <- Littany against avoiding small embarrassing/awkward moments that don't matter with over the top ass mind games.

One of my fondest childhood memories was when my dad read The Hobbit to my brother and I before bedtime. He did voices and everything. He also summarized the songs because he refused to sing. Anyways, The Hobbit is a children’s book. The fact that it was “long” was just even more exciting because I could hear my dad go “uhhh… and they sing a song about breaking Mr. Bilbo’s dishes” or “they sing about the mountain” whenever he didn’t want to sing.

Does anyone know what to do about the temperature and also the prices

friend who went to bed is a type of dead wife

hey welcome to my evil lair, good job beating my minions. yeah hold on before i fight you let me just stand directly underneath this massive iron chandelier held up by four ropes connected to big stakes at each corner of the room. like an idiot

happy what fucking day is it now friday

that is actually my main principle of explicit fic is that the personalities stay On during sex.

the problem with musicians is how they're always touring their latest album instead of like their critically hated second album from 2009 which is the one i'm obsessed with

my screen time is none of my business