this is the title

Halfway through the day, and Luca was already wanting the day to be over. After an entitled parent overreacting, a group of kids very hyped up on sugar, and one of the horses reacting badly to a new client, it had been a stressful day to say the least. He was only hoping that the rest of the day would be downhill.

His next appointment was with a brand new client who he knew next to nothing about, except the fact that she wasn’t the one paying for the lessons. Then again, if she was young it was probably a parent paying for them. Either way, the only thing he cared about is if things would go smoothly when she came. Luca had barely had time to tack up both Cici and Cosmo, but he’d gotten them both out to the field with a few minutes to spare. He rechecked both horses while he waited for the new client. Finally he looked up and saw a young, dark-haired woman leaving the office building. He walked over to her, not wanting her to wander off like some people did despite the instructions they were given. “Hey!” he called out, trying to get her attention as he gave her a bright smile. Just because he was annoyed didn’t mean he had to take it out on someone else, especially a client. “You must be Rebecca. I’m Luca, I’ll be your riding instructor for the day. If you have everything ready to go we can get started right away, or if you don’t have a helmet we can go get one for you to borrow.”

She nodded her head slowly when he assured her that those were his only wounds. Lilith had known she was in trouble the last time they had parted ways. Before then it had always felt easier. A general see you next time and that was that. This time she had lingered until his ship had left, watching it until it was so far up in the atmos that the sun obscured her vision of it. She had wondered if there was even the slightest chance that Alex felt the same, but now… She swallowed thickly, trying to drown out her own emotions at his reply. It was true, nothing was going to change their current fate, but she had hoped to at least be able to ease his mind if nothing else. Anything to make him feel better, as if that was possible. He still hadn’t looked at her, which was bad enough, but when he asked what she wanted with him she physically flinched at the question, as though he had smacked her. It took her several moments to pull herself together enough to answer him, and even then her voice was shaky. “I know it won’t, and I’m sorry… I can only imagine what you’ve been through. But Alex, I just… I only wanted to see you, to make sure you were okay.” Finally she dropped her own gaze to their hands, figuring that he wasn’t going to look at her now anyway. “I just wanted to help.” Rising to her feet suddenly, she released his hands and moved to the door. “That was all. But I understand if you’d rather go be with your crew. I’m sorry if I bothered you,” she finished in a murmur, clenching her jaw as she felt tears forming in her eyes.

The tone of her voice made him instantly regret the question. None of this was Lilith’s fault. She’d done nothing wrong, in fact going out of her way to help him while all he’d to to repay her was be a jackass. Just because he was angry and sad didn’t mean she deserved to bare the brunt of it. He stood up as she was about to walk out of the room, catching her by the wrist. He wondered if she had felt the change between them the last time they’d been together. A change he hadn’t wanted but had been there nonetheless. Once on Themis again he’d thought about the way her body felt against his while they danced, the way she laughed and smiled at things he said, the way she’d been completely and utterly his for those precious 48 hours. And now she was here watching him during some of the worst hours of his life. “Wait, Lilith.” He got her attention and looked her straight in the eyes. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m just… processing everything still. You didn’t bother me.” All she had wanted to do was help. “Um. Are you doing alright?” He asked awkwardly, not sure what else to say. There was too much to say and none of it felt right. Not right after all that had just happened. Should they talk about their feelings? Alex wasn’t ready for that. Not when he’d not even processed things. What did one talk about after something like this? Lilith could offer all the condolences she wanted, it wasn’t going to change anything. At the same time, he wasn’t sure he wanted to leave her quite yet. Maybe she would mention the fact that he had lied to her the whole time.

As he started to clean the glasses, he noticed a figure take a seat at the other end of the bar.  Wincing slightly as he placed weight on his prosthetic leg, he headed towards them.  “Fancy seeing you here…uh?”  In his defense, he had been learning a lot of names in this short amount of time.  “Anyway, what can I get you besides my lovely company?”

With work over for the day, at least for him, Alex had a chunk of free time with no one to spend it with and nothing to do, so he made his way to the bar. Maverick had gotten a job bar tending, which meant Alex didn’t have to deal with talking to someone new for the time being. Usually he didn’t mind meeting and talking to people, enjoying it even, but it wasn’t something he was in the mood for given everything going on. He sat down in one of the bar stools and gave a Maverick a smile. “Cute, Mav. If your memory is really that poor then I think you have some other things to worry about. Neat whiskey, as per usual.”

“Hey, stranger,” he smiled when he saw Lilith and went up to her. The party meant they could spend some time together in public and no one was raise an eyebrow as long as they kept it on the down low. “I have to say, I’m starting the think this whole crew-mixing isn’t such a bad idea. There’s at least one Virtus member I think I’d like to get to know better.” 

@lilith-among-the-stars​

Instead of doing what he should, he went to talk to someone he definitely didn’t need to get to know any better. “So, how’s the mingling going? Hopefully better than mine. I guess the whole possibility of imminent death is bringing down the mood.”

@star-crossed-cass​

Ophelia’s absence from the party was obvious. She was their leader, and she had decided to let them be there on their own. Alex couldn’t help but be a little bitter about it, but surely she had a good reason not to go to the mixer. Would she really be so petty as to not come because Orion would be there? While his friends and family talked to other people, Alex quietly slipped away and rushed down the hallway to get to Ophelia’s quarters, knocking on the door. “O? Are you in there? Are you okay?”

@ophelia-blackwell​

When Alex settled into a seat next to Cass, she let out a heavy sigh, thankful for the fact that he had found her during one of her breaks in a secluded area. She had very few people she could let her guard down around, and with Owen avoiding her, scratch that, hating her, she had even less. Cass had always been grateful for her brother and his steadfast support, but never moreso than now. “I’d say better than yours only because I think I’ve managed to get more people to speak to me willingly. Pretty sure that’s only because of my status though, not because of any interest in mingling or getting to know any of us.” Cassandra might have good standing with the Alliance still, but she considered herself part of the Themis crew at the end of the day. She made a face at the last comment, letting out a scoffing noise. “Death is imminent all the time. Just because we’re lost out in space doesn’t mean we’re all gonna explode anytime soon. Besides, at least you got the best sister ever to ride it out with you,” she added with a smirk.

“Mmm. Nothin’ new there. Wasn’t about to assume people are any different here than any other place in the galaxy.” Cass was likely referring to her standing with the Alliance, but he couldn’t help but think of other things that affected how people treated her. It wasn’t as if Alex minded his sister’s occupation for the most part, but it affected how she was treated in a lot of ways. Hell, even he was affected in some ways just by being her brother. The fact was people wanted to sleep with Cass and were willing to do quite a few things to make that happen. Considering she had a much smaller pool of people to choose from, he had no idea how that would affect her decisions on who to take on as a client. He gave her a small smile. “That’s one attitude to have about it. Of all the people to get stuck out here with, I am very glad it was you.” And Lilith, of course. Despite Cass’s attitude about the situation, the fact was they might never get back home. Yes, that was true any time they left no matter what, but things were different whether she wanted to think about it or not.

It was a noble goal, the whole idea of trying to get the two crews to merge. In many ways Orion had a tendency to be the definition of noble, loyal.  But that was the crux of the problem, wasn’t it? It was far easier to fain disinterest, perhaps even hatred, for someone who wasn’t trying so hard. It was more than likely a fool’s folly but the intent? Oh, the intent was a good one. And yet…well, Ophelia couldn’t bring herself to follow him down that rabbit hole. There had been a time when she would have followed any question that Orion would have come up with in a situation such as that. Of course, there had also been a time when he would have followed hers. But bringing herself to play the part he had thrust upon her unwillingly? It wasn’t something the blonde could do.

The sound of the knocking should have startled her but was oddly familiar, as was the voice on the other end. How many times back on her ship had someone from her crew or one of her passengers sought her out in her quarters? Propping herself up on her elbows the blonde considered not responding. Perhaps pretending to be asleep. But whatever problems she may have had with the event? She had no problem with Alex and ignoring him would be too cruel. And with that thought the former captain slid off of the bed and made her way to the door, opening it with both eyebrows raised. “I’m perfectly fine,Alex.” Not that his concern wasn’t touching. It was merely unnecessary. After a moment she stepped away from the door as an invitation to enter. “Or as fine as anyone can be given the circumstances,” she continued. “And you? How are you faring in your new home?”

Ophelia opened the door and allowed Alex to enter. Bullshit that she was fine, or as fine as the circumstances could be. Sure, it could be worse, but just because she wasn’t literally pulling her hair out didn’t mean things were going well. He stood awkwardly in the room, trying to figure out what to say. “Alright. Roommate isn’t too bad, which is about as much as I can ask for I guess.” His roommate didn’t mind Alex sneaking out to be with Lilith and didn’t leave a mess out all the time, so he wasn’t complaining. “Why aren’t you at the party? I know that you and Captain Queen… don’t get along, or whatever, but your still our captain.” Whether she got the underlying meaning or not he didn’t know. He wasn’t going to say anything too harsh until she at least had a chance to explain herself, to give him a good reason she had skipped out on the party. She was supposed to be the captain. Alex couldn’t help but be disappointed in her for disappearing when the crew needed her leadership, but he wanted to hear a good explanation.

As much as she still had her suspicions (and one obvious complete dislike) about a lot of the Themis crew-members, Lilith had been trying to get along with the ones she worked with or encountered frequently. Not just for Orion’s sake, but for Alex’s as well. So she was trying to mingle with people from the Themis that she hadn’t interacted with much, but most of them were just as thrilled by the idea as her own crewmates; which was to say not at all. Mostly Lilith felt bad for all the pressure Orion was under and the fact that thus far the mixer seemed like a flop. 

Thankfully as she went to stand off to the side, a distraction came in the form of Alex sidling up next to her. Perhaps with as many people around as there were around them, Lilith should be a little more discreet, but honestly she felt like she hadn’t gotten to see Alex much for the last few days and now that they had decided to make some sort of go with whatever they had in between them, she found herself wanting to be around him more frequently. She let out a chuckle at his words, turning to him and leaning up on her tiptoes to plant a brief kiss on his lips. “Hmm, that so. Anyone I should be jealous of?” Lilith teased, linking her fingers through Alex’s with a grin.

To his surprise, Lilith pressed her lips against his for a split second before standing back down. Alex immediately looked over his shoulder around the room to make sure no one had seen the kiss. “Lil,” he admonished, not understanding why she had made such an odd decision. “We have to stay discreet. Unless you greet all your friends like that?” Alex hadn’t thought about the prospect of making their relationship public. It seemed like such an impossible thought at the moment. Over time he was sure some other Themis member would start getting more than friendly with a Virtus, but at the moment he had no reason to believe they weren’t the only ones mingling around in such a way. He ran his hand down her arm before their fingers linked together. It was kind of exciting, sneaking around and being discreet. Testing the limits before someone found out about them. “Oh, very jealous. She’s amazing. Sweet, and smart, and gorgeous. Fun to be around. I think about her all the time. I don’t know what I’d do without her, honestly,” he smiled. Yes, it might be the cheesiest thing he had ever said, but if Lilith liked it that was all that mattered.

Spotting Alex, Maverick walked over to greet his friend.  “Well, better than staying in a bad mood I suppose.”  He commented with a shrug.  From what he gathered, many people were not exactly thrilled with the two crews blending let alone being on the other side of the quadrant.  Still, if this was going to be his new home for who knows how long, he was going to try to make the best of it.  “Plus, open bar the rules are bit more relaxed tonight. And,” he paused to look over at the Captain.  “He looks like he has his own set of problems, if you know what I mean.” Maverick brightly smiled.  “Not too bad, just trying to get a feel of different people on board.  What about you man?  You doing alright?”

“Trust me, I ain’t complainin’. Good thing at least one of us can figure out how to have a good time, yeah?” All in all Alex knew that things could be a lot worse. He had Cass and he had Lilith. Most of his friends were still alive. Even if things weren’t perfect, he was grateful for what he did have. Alex admired Maverick for making the most out of a bad situation. Everyone needed a role model such as him, someone who saw things to be optimistic about. “Open bar is never a bad thing for sure.” Alex didn’t say anything about the Captain. He still didn’t know what to think about anything on that front. Until he had to get involved, he was going to do his best to keep out of it. “Smart. I should probably be doing the same thing, but….” he shrugged. “Just makes you look even better then. But, yeah, I’m doin’ alright. How’ve you been lately?”

She let out another chuckle, shaking her head immediately and giving his hand a squeeze. “Of course I don’t. Sorry, I’m just excited to spend time with you in front of other people. I promise I’ll be more discreet from here on out.” Not that she really was sorry, but she could at least pretend to be contrite. They hadn’t talked about going public with their relationship yet, and the only person that seemed to have a clue that something was up was her room mate, and Lilith was pretty sure the woman only kept it to herself because of Alex. Still, the smile that graced his face was worth the risk. Alex’s smile had always been one of her favorite things about him; it could transform his entire demeanor in just one move, and selfishly, Lil loved being the reason for some of his smiles. “Wow… sounds like a tough act to beat,” she pouted, only able to keep the saddened look on her face for a moment before she was smiling up at him again. It was too difficult to be upset around Alex, because even with everything else going on, he gave her a positive focal point. “Guess I’ll just have to work that much harder to keep your attention on me, huh.”

She shrugged her shoulders, acknowledging that he was right in that sentiment. For the most part, Companions were looked upon respectfully, seen for all the things they could do rather than just as whores, which was unfortunately how some people saw them. It was a shot in the dark with each individual, because she’d found that neither upbringing nor wealth was a common factor. At the end of the day, she knew she was doing good in the world, regardless of how that good came about. Even though he agreed with her assessment, she could tell there was something he was holding back, but she didn’t press him. Instead, she cast a glance around the room, looking for the woman her brother had told her about. “So what brings you over here with me, hmm? I figured you’d take advantage of this opportunity to mingle with a certain someone,” she teased lightly, grateful that at least her brother’s love life seemed to be going well. If anyone deserved to have some solid support and love, it was Alex. 

“Don’t get along…such a simplistic way to put it.” Closing the door behind him Ophelia made her way back over to the edge of her bed, sitting down on the edge of it and turning her gaze back towards the man who had become like family to her. Everyone from her ship had been. It was what made the loss of those who couldn’t make it off of the ship so much more bitter. Had they all merely been strangers or simply people looking for safe passage? It would have been sad to see a loss of life, yes, but the bitterness wouldn’t be so harsh. Could anyone really ever not ache at the loss of people they held dear? O wasn’t really sure but she highly doubted it. “I think you know somewhere in that brain of yours it’s a little more complicated than that.” The blonde raised an eyebrow in question but said nothing else on the matter. She wasn’t about to pry into Alex’s private life. It had never really been her style to do so. Anything and everything her people told her about themselves they offered willingly- at least when it came to their personal lives.When it came to the safety of the group as a whole? Well, then she had always expected that they wouldn’t hold their tongue. “Its better for everyone if I avoid the rest of the ship as much as possible,” she explained after a moment. “No matter what Orion may think, his people will never be content with me having the position he granted me. And the relationship between he and I…” She trailed off, paused momentarily. “Well, suffice it to say that it would do neither of our groups any good for things to get messy. And as much as he may try to deny it? The dear old captain has always been driven by his emotions. Don’t let his Alliance military mask fool you.”

The feeling of his hand on her wrist honestly wasn’t something she’d been expecting, and she swiped hastily at her eyes before turning around to meet his gaze. She stayed quiet while he spoke, struggling to keep her own emotions in check. Of course she anticipated him needing to process things for awhile. Hell, she needed time to process still, and in comparison she hadn’t gone through nearly as much as he had. She was a little shocked when he turned around and asked how she was, the question catching her off guard so that she stared at him blankly for a moment before answering. “Not good.” It was an honest answer, if blunt. “Sorry, it’s just. It’s a lot.” Having all these people on the ship - knowing that Orion was in the conference room, alone, with her. Having Alex in front of her and realizing he’d been on a fugitive ship. Where did she even begin? Where could she begin? She felt horrible for everything he’d been through, but no matter how many time she said she was sorry it wouldn’t fix anything. She’d still followed orders when her gut told her not to. He had lost God only knew who and what in the explosion, and then he had to deal with her hauling him off with little to no information to even offer. It was no wonder he was upset with her and honestly? She didn’t blame him even a little bit. “I’m just really sorry, Alex.” Trying not to second guess herself too much and hoping he needed it just as much as she did, Lilith wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly.

Seeing her swipe at her eyes only made him feel worse, but he chose not to comment on it. Lord knows they all needed a good cry at the moment. Just because he had gone through worse in the past few hours didn’t make her own feelings any less valid. “I know,” he whispered. It felt like he was never going to know what to say to her ever again. At least she was being honest with him. They both knew any other answer would’ve been a lie. He couldn’t help but stiffen slightly as he felt her wrap her arms around him in tight hug, surprised by the unexpected touch. Not to mention how dirty he was. Still, it only took him a second to relax under her touch, putting his arms around her shoulders in return as he hugged her back. Tears threatened to spill over. It wasn’t intimate, exactly, but it comforted him in a way he hadn’t expected. The unsaid feelings left between them from their last visit would take God knew how long to make themselves known again. Not when so much else had happened. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault. We’re okay.” They were here and and alive and he wasn’t going to take that for granted. Both of them had done everything they possibly could to keep everyone safe. Sometimes it wasn’t enough, but Alex wanted her to know that he wasn’t angry with her even if he was angry with everything else. If she was angry with him for lying, he assumed she would wait until later to bring it up. It felt like a minuscule detail in the grand scheme of things with Themis gone. He gently rested his head on top of hers, stroking her soft hair and hoping that somehow they would be able to make it through this.

With a sigh of contentment and pleasure all rolled into one, Lilith rolled off of Alex and curled up against his side, the two of them taking a few moments to catch their breath. While neither one of them had a large bed, it wasn’t like it was a hardship for her to be pressed up against Alex’s side to keep both of them comfortably on his mattress. Her head rested against his chest, allowing her to listen to his heart rate slow down as she let her arm drape over his midsection. Perhaps it had to do with her age, or maybe it was the fact that it was Alex lying next to her, but it was impossible not to think about how nice it would be if they could be together every night, without a care as to who knew about them. Preferably not lost in space, but at this point that almost felt like an improbability.  

“Do you ever just sit back and think about the future? Like, what you want to do if… when we make it home?” Orion had already broken the news to the crew that they might not make it home anytime soon, but Lil was trying to stay positive in her outlook. Sure, she had a few friends she would miss, but most of the people she cared about were on this very ship with her. Alex, on the other hand, aside from his sister, had his entire family back home. Lilith couldn’t quite relate to the pain and loss he experienced thinking of them, but she was doing her best to try and understand. “I used to never think about it until a couple months before this mission started. Then I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Now though - it’s like I don’t know whether I should think about it. Does that make any sense?” she questioned, craning her neck to look upwards at Alex’s face. 

“Course I do. That’s always what my mind is gonna go to, probably.” Alex had always been someone who thought about the future a lot. Ever since he was a child he knew what he wanted, at least in some capacity. Leaving his home planet had thrown a wrench into things, but he still wanted most of the things he had always dreamed of. Settling down with someone he loved, a house, a family. It was more difficult to think about now that he had no idea if any of it would happen. “Oh? What did you think about before? When you were trying to permission to leave the ship?” While he and Lilith were more serious now, they hadn’t talked much about a future or what they wanted. “Definitely makes sense. I feel the same way,” he said, pausing while he shifted and placed his hand on the dip of her waist. “We don’t know that’s gonna happen. There’s that part of me that wants to ignore so much of what’s going on on the ship, tell myself that we will make it back home. I don’t know if I’m ready to think about a future where I never get to see my family again.” The only thing that made his time bearable was Cass and Lilith.

Alex was off work and wouldn’t be seeing Lilith until later that night, so he had made his way to Cass’s private quarters to check in on his sister. He greeted his sister once she opened the door and stepped into the room, turning towards her. “So, how’s everything been today?”

@star-crossed-cass​