Beauty in Pain

“Good,” he snorted. Riley ran his fingers through Alex’s hair a few times. “Of course, it’s entirely up to you, Alexander. You know I’ll be here for you no matter what you decide. But I don’t want you to lose any sleep over it,” he said. “I’ll figure it out when I call in. I just know that I want to be with you nonstop. It’s too bad we have to be a part of society,” Riley sighed. 

Riley just hummed, having known that Alex would say that. “Family doesn’t have to get an automatic pass on being assholes,” he shrugged. Riley’s own relationship with his parents was nonexistent, especially after they basically disowned him. They just made sure he didn’t drag their name through the mud more than he had as a kid. “But I know you’re attached to yours,” Riley said. He chuckled and kissed the other back, holding his boyfriend close. “I might call off. Maybe something is going on with dear old grandma? Or dad is having health problems? So many choices. 

“Riley, you’re always welcome to steal me away.”

@rileysephtis

“My personal favorite is curling up with Riley. But I also like to laze around in pajamas with some tea and watch cartoons.”

“For work I do art. I paint and draw and sell my work. They’re not the best, I’m still learning and establishing my style of art, but I enjoy it. I also work at galleries, that way I’m always making some money.

“Well, ‘definitely not Riley’, unless you definitely are Riley, then no can do.”

“Yes. Riley understands me and he loves me as much as possible. He cares about me and he takes care of me. He’s the perfect guy for me. I’ve had other people that I loved, like Jubilee and Cory, but in the end, it’s always been Riley, no matter how much I loved the other two.”

“Sometimes. Well, it’s not so much wishing, it’s more like wondering. I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if I had gotten help sooner. I wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t embraced my disorder. I wonder where I would be now. But I like my life and although there have bee awful awful things that have happened in my life, I wouldn’t change it.”

“Good. He can afford to be annoyed. You know I don’t care what people think of me. And if he’s not supportive of you, you shouldn’t care what he thinks,” he shrugged. Riley knew Alex didn’t think like him, but he just wanted his boyfriend to be happy. “Maybe I could tie you up while I’m away so you can’t go anywhere,” Riley teased softly in the other’s ear. “Or I could call off work for the week. Say I have a family emergency,” he said.

“Fair enough. You know I could go with you, and you’d have nothing to worry about. I wouldn’t let anything happen to you,” Riley replied, humming softly as his eyes closed. “I knew you wouldn’t be. But my job might have a problem with me disappearing for a week. I could care less about school.”

Riley sighed softly, knowing what that meant coming from Alex, but he’d try to changed his mind. That would be later though. Right now, Riley had a boyfriend to cuddle with. “While I definitely agree she should come over here, I wouldn’t mind terribly coming with you. Granted if I’m even allowed to leave the country. I should be able to,” he shrugged, taking the phone back to order something random. Riley wasn’t picky, food was a way to replenish his body. Placing his phone down on the table, he wrapped his arms around Alexander, burying his nose in the other’s neck. “I have half a mind to keep you right here for the next week. Missed you.”

“Fucking exactly. He does a lot more shit than his holier counterparts; he does so much work to make sure we sin every single day, he puts out temptations here, there, in the morning, evening, he makes sure to work overtime even when we sleep and he just keeps going like, wake up tiny human and punch a bro later or some shit- that’s a lot of dedication, okay? Guy’s a pointy-horned keeper. We should learn a lot from him.” Heather wasn’t that much of a religious person herself. She knew there was something–some fucking force up there that created shit, but she had never been too certain that it was as black and white as people made it seem. Her view was skewed, God’s name only cried out in desperation and wrath. She liked how easy-going Alex was about his faith, though, and frankly a lot of other things; it was comfortable with him and it felt like they could still always chill around while talking about grotesque, fucked up things together. “If you know he’s only going to make you feel like shit, then don’t. You should be able to feel free, no more ties to the so-called family members who hurt you.” She shrugged, as if the marks her father left hadn’t haunted her for years. “That sounds beautiful, did you get to eat the aunthetic pizza and pasta and everything in-between?” her eyebrows bounced and she snickered, “but I’m really fucking glad you had a great time, with your mom, too. I reunited with mine while I was in China but we didn’t get to talk much, she was sick.” She nodded. “Oh, tell me more about those charity projects. I kind of have one going on, too. Been working on it for a year now with some of my buds; if you’re ever interested in taking up another, you can always come to me.” 

“We can definitely take away from his determination,” Alex agreed, smiling. Of course he and Heather would be talking about something silly like this. It was just like it always was and Alex couldn’t love it any more than he already did. “Yeah, I’m definitely not planning on it. I think that when I do, I’m gonna take mom with me, she makes him so happy. I do feel free. David is nowhere to be found, he’s probably locked up somewhere again, which is great, and dad would never take the time out to come to see me or anything. So I’m free.” He sighed happily. Laughing softly at her question, he nodded. “Yes, I got to eat lots of authentic Italian food and it was better than I could ever imagine. I think I’m kind of sick of it, though, if I’m honest.” Eyes lighting up, he raised an eyebrow. “Oh really? Oh. I’m sorry she was sick. Is she doing any better now?” He asked, a little concerned. “It’s fun. I’ve just been helping build housing with my family, near Naples and some poorer places. Oh, really? I’d love to come help in any way I can.”

“Honestly? I don’t know. I want to say yes, but every time marriage has come up in my life, something awful happens. My ex-wife was awful to me and I grew to resent her. Then I asked someone to marry me and after saying yes he killed himself. What if Riley asks and I say yes and something terrible happens?”

“Fuck if I know.”

“Depends on what they’ve done, really.”