Alessia L. Reyes

For as long as he could remember, Sebastian Sallow had carried the biggest weight on his chest.

No, it wasn't something dark nor mysterious. It wasn't something that could destroy his life, or something he necessarily had to be as stressed about as he was.

For the longest time, Sebastian Sallow had simply had a crush on his best friend.

You.

Well, crush was putting it lightly. It started that way but he's pretty sure at least a year ago it developed into true, romantic feelings.

He not only liked you. He loved you.

He fantasised about you in any, and every way, and with you both now eighteen, and about to leave Hogwarts, he felt that he was running out of time to tell you.

Despite his other best friend, Ominis Gaunt demanding that he calm down, because you had already reassured him that you would no longer be perusing your dreams of moving away, you'd instead be staying here, so he'd still get to see you. Ominis was adamant that Sebastian needn't rush to confess his feelings to you, because simply, he had all the time in the world.

Deep down, Sebastian knew Ominis was right, because Ominis was right. All Sebastian had was time, so he knew that he had to stop the worrying, the stressing.

But each and every time he saw you, it got harder and harder to keep his mouth shut. The temptation to blurt those seemingly forbidden three words was sometimes so overwhelming that he would feel physically sick, forcing them down.

And an incredible example of that was this current moment. He had been invited to the weekly trivia down at The Three Broomsticks, Sirona, the pub owner expected their weekly arrival, now pleased that she'd no longer have to sneak them in drinks illegally, thanks to them now being of age.

The table they had chosen to sit at, was the exact same table in which they chose every single week.

It was always the same round, log table, with ever so slightly comfortable, padded stools, accompanied with a bench.

It was always the same six people as well.

Sebastian, you and Ominis on one side, they always took the bench as you found it easier to curl up. The stools were always occupied by Poppy Sweeting, Garreth Weasley and Imelda Reyes.

The group was tight-knit, inseparable, a bustling friendship, and magically, everyone in the group knew about Sebastian's crush on you, everyone but you, yourself.

You were utterly clueless it was starting to destroy Sebastian.

Especially tonight. He couldn't help himself from sneaking little glances towards you. He kept finding himself smiling, whenever you'd talk, or laugh.

In his eyes, you were the most beautiful thing he had ever laid his eyes on.

"Sebastian? Did you not just hear a single word that I said?" You ask, breaking Sebastian out of his trance. He meets your gaze, smiling gently, his eyes instantly softening at the pure sight of you as you stir your fire whiskey with a straw, a habit he'd caught you doing almost every time you drank.

"Sorry I was lost in my own head for a second there, what was it you were saying?" He asks, trying to seem calm and collected. You roll your eyes, grinning. You stand up, dramatically wrapping an arm around Sebastian's shoulders.

To you, it was a casual friendly gesture, something familiar between the two of you, but to Sebastian, that one ounce of contact was absolutely everything.

"I was saying that I genuinely believe we'd lose this trivia every single week if you didn't join us. You're like our groups muse, if you're not there, we all suffer." You say giddily, leaning closer to Sebastian's face unintentionally. Sebastian chuckles softly, taking a sip of his drink. He nods. "I suppose you're right, I do hold the team together." He murmurs, meeting our gaze.

You grin. "That's that big headed ego I love." You joke, but Sebastian can't help but react as though you has flirted. His cheeks blushing, heating up. His heart beginning to race as that all too familiar feeling like butterflies fluttering in his stomach starts.

"Just for you." Is what he wants to say. But he doesn't.

He simply just smiles at you instead.

"Sallow. I think it's your turn to buy the next round." Garreth suddenly announces, patting him dramatically on the back, trying to break the obvious tension, which you were completely oblivious to. Sebastian groans in protest without any actual annoyance, before standing up with a dramatic sigh.

"Fine." He murmurs, beginning the short trek to the bar, not expecting to hear a set of softer sounding footsteps from behind him.

He turns, finding you approaching. You're smirking. "Thought you'd need the hand." You suggest. Sebastian can't help the blush that forms across his cheeks. "Is that so?" He says, staring directly into you eyes, quickly cursing himself out silently.

Don't be a creep Sallow. He reminds himself. He opens his mouth to say something else to you but is cut off by the rough sound of someone clearing their throat. You both snap your heads across to the bar to find the source of the noise.

"What can I get for ya?" A shabby looking bartender asks. His beard long, and slightly matted in places. He eyes you up instantly making you uncomfortable. You shift slightly closer which Sebastian catches onto immediately.  He automatically shuffles closer, fighting the urge to wrap an arm around your waist, knowing that he can't overstep but the relieve that fills you at the closeness of him is palpable.

You glance at him, with an almost grateful look. Sebastian offers you a smile before turning back to the man. "Four fire whiskeys, and whatever-." Sebastian starts but you cut him off, slamming a few galleons onto the bar. "Make that five fire whiskeys, please." The man nods, with a slight grunt, scooping up the galleons before turning his back to them, to make the drinks.

"You know you didn't have to pay, I was going to do it." Sebastian states. You just smile, with a subtle shrug of your shoulders.

"And?" You quirk an eyebrow at him, waiting for his reaction, like a challenge. He shakes his head softly, smiling at you. "You're a dork." He mumbles. "Your dork." You respond without even looking.

God help me. He thinks, as the bartender slides the drinks onto the counter. You and Sebastian are quick to gather the glasses, heading back to the table.

You place the drinks on the placemats scattered around the flat surface, slumping back into your seat with a soft sigh. Sebastian sneaks one last glance at you before taking a seat himself.

~

The rest of the evening spent at the bar was filled with laughter and playful banter. Mostly from Sebastian and Garreth who kept bickering over who had the correct answer to a certain question, just to find out that both were wrong.

As the night closes to an end, yourself and the rest of the group stumble out into the cold, night air. Your heads are all fuzzy from the beer, your tummy's were warm and full.

"Right, shall we head to that nightclub near the corner of Hogsmeade? It should open soon." Garreth suggests enthusiastically, met with excited nods. But to you, that sounds like a nightmare. All you want to do is go home and go to sleep.

"No." You suddenly blurt, causing all eyes to cast down on you. "What do you mean no? It's a Friday night. We're here to get pissed. You never say no to getting pissed." Imelda complains but you shake your head.

"I'm tired, I had a long day. I just want to go home and go to bed." You respond. Imelda groans in protest, tugging at your arm. "Stop being lame. You are coming out with us." She demands but you refuse even further, shaking your head.

"Seriously, Imelda. Can't you guys just walk me back to the dorms, then go do your clubbing or whatever shit you're gonna go off and do." You suggest, desperate to shower, then lie in bed until you fall asleep.

Your feet hurt, you felt sweaty and disgusting and exhausted.

"Stop being boring!" Imelda pushes, your patience now beginning to wear thin. You glare, beginning to grow genuinely annoyed at her. You open your mouth to argue back, protest further but a voice stops you.

"I'll walk you." Sebastian offers loudly.. You glance towards the source of the noise, your lips curling into a smile as you meet his sincere gaze, lacking any doubt in his brown eyes.

Sebastian always did the right thing. He always wanted to help and protect everyone.

He looks slightly nervous, which was unusual for him but you brush it off, narrowing it down to the alcohol, and probably lack of sleep.

"Thank you!" You say gratefully, gesturing wildly with your arms, already taking a step towards him. He nods, burying his hands deep into his pockets. A nervous habit of his. Maybe it's the cold?

"Of course."

"Oh come on Seb. Don't encourage this boring behaviour." Garreth protests, reaching a hand out to seemingly stop Sebastian from stepping back any further.  Sebastian shakes his head, throwing up a hand at Garreth, dismissively.

"Nah mate. She wants to go home, and honestly so do I. You guys continue, go to the club, have more drinks, have a nice time. We're fine, truly. You don't need us in order to have a good night." Sebastian explains.

Garreth rolls his eyes. "Seriously?" He interjects. Poppy swatts Garreth's arm. "If Sebastian wants to go home, let him." She says softly, offering Sebastian a shy smile.

You were convinced that Poppy had a thing for him, she was always taking his side, or trying to be close to him.

Sebastian returns the smile she directs at him, before Poppy pulls him into a gentle hug. Sebastian awkwardly returns the hug, patting her gently on the back, a friendly gesture. "Be safe." She murmurs. Sebastian nods, pulling away, turning to you.

Then, you were both gone, walking away from the group and down the cobbled path towards the exit of Hogsmeade and back onto the long path to Hogwarts.

"How come you didn't want to stay out? You're always the one who wants to stay back and get pissed?" You question him. Sebastian offers a quick glance to you, without slowing his pace. He seems to tense up slightly, his movements stiffening.

He shrugs. "I'm just tired." He tries. You scoff, not buying it. You stop in your tracks, directly in front of him, causing him having to stop too.

"What?" He asks amused, his lips curling into a tiny smile. "Sebastian Sallow. Quidditch star. Sebastian Sallow who can out drink the entire school faculty. You are telling me that rather than going out, to get absolutely shit faced and probably laid - you'd rather go home, to sleep?" You question, as if it's the most obscure thing you'd ever heard of in the entire world.

Because, in your mind, it was. Sebastian Sallow never got tired. Sebastian Sallow never wanted to just go home to sleep. So naturally, this version of him had you wondering.

Really wondering.

"Why, is it such a bad thing that a man just wants to sleep for once?" He feigns offence. You grin at him, taking a single step backwards, then another, and one more as you pick up a pace, keeping your eyes on his as you move.

He slowly follows you. "It's not a bad thing, it's just not something you do so it's weird." You explain. He smiles.

"Or maybe, I just wanted more time with my best friend." He whispers, quietly, almost too quiet that you barely register what you'd heard.

But you'd heard it and you instantly scrunch up your nose. "Ew. That was cringe, don't say that." You scold.

You absolutely hated sappiness. You didn't want anything bittersweet and him saying that, was cringey for you, and he knew that.

He chuckles, mockingly throwing his hands up either side of his head in defence as he speeds back up, to rejoin you by your side.

The rest of the walk is peaceful, mostly in silence asides from the shuffling of shoes against wet cobbles and concrete from the previous rainfall earlier that day.

"Alright." Sebastian murmurs as he stops in front of your dormitory door. "This is you, get some sleep, alright?" You nod, smiling. Sebastian shuffles from one foot to the other.

You turn around, your hand finding placement in your dormitory door. "Wait." He calls out. You pause, turning your head back to meet his gaze. "Yeah?" You respond. He sighs.

"You-. I mean-. There's a new cafe opening up, and I was thinking that maybe you and I, could go? Like during the week maybe?" He asks, nervously. You chuckle softly.

"You're such a dork. You want me to go to a new cafe with you?" He nods. "Yeah. I mean! You don't have to of course, if you're busy. Wait of course you'll be busy, you're a busy person. Ignore me I'm so stupid." He rambles to himself, frantically.

"Seb, you're rambling." You state softly. He doesn't relax though, he fidgets more insistently.

"I just-. Yknow what? Forget it. Forget I said anything." He quickly says, turning around.

In that moment. You knew you had to ask him. The one question that had been corrupting your mind recently, based on his behaviours.

"Sebastian, do you like, like me or something?" You ask, matter-of-factly. Sebastian freezes, his face contorting into pure panic.

"What? No, of course not. I just think we're great friends. That's all." He quickly rushes out. You raise an eyebrow, not fully convinced but you let it slide, nodding slowly.

"Okay." You breathe out. "Good." You then finally unlock the door, stepping inside, closing it.

Meanwhile, Sebastian, still stood outside of your door, palms his face, groaning in frustration.

"Sebastian you fucking idiot. Why did you say that. You had your fucking chance." He mutters to himself as he trudges back to his own dormitory, down the corridor.

He opens the door, and a soft glimmering captures his attention. He locks his door, before turning his attention towards the shining object.

He bends over into the corner between the windowsill and his desk, leaning down to retrieve the item.

It was a relic. An ancient magic relic.

Some ancient artefact he and Ominis had found a few weeks ago whilst searching the schools undercroft, desperate to recover anything of value before they left the school for good.

The relic had looked mysterious, and interesting at the time and thus, Sebastian had picked it up, without any ounce of an idea as to what you could even do with it.

When he'd picked it up at first, all those weeks ago, it had been plain black, boring, with engravings on it.

Yet now, it was shining an unmistakable white light, as if it was calling out to him.

Naturally, as anyone would, Sebastian bends down to retrieve it. A loud, sharp, musical tone starts almost the second Sebastian's hand makes contact with it.

He retracts, having had a slight fright from the sudden noise. But he bends down again, picking it up fully, analysing it.

"What the fuck?" He mutters, tilting the small object, to read the back.

There, in obvious, bold, white letters, were instructions. Instructions which one hundred thousand percent hadn't been there before.

One wish relic. Open the relic with delicacy. Once opened, simply state your one wish, then slam the relic shut. Everyone gets one wish only, there's no reversing your wish, so use it well.

Sebastian's eyes widen. He'd heard about these, in ancient runes. An old myth, filled with tales of voodoo and demonology, linking the wishes to something evil, but Sebastian was pretty sure that he didn't believe any of that.

How did they expect him to believe that an old random triangular thing

He bites his lip, thinking for a moment. He knew deep down it wasn't real, just a tale, and he needed anything to get his mind off of the fact he'd just destroyed his one and only chance of admitting to you how he felt.

So he grabs the relic again, opening it with ease, and a gentle care. He takes a deep breath, the impulsivity taking over.

"I wish that Y/N would love me more than anyone in the whole entire world."

Then he slams it shut.

At first, nothing happens, and he chuckles darkly to himself, thinking of how pathetic that was.

Eighteen years of age and he'd just used an ancient artefact to wish that his best friend would love him.

That was the kind of behaviour expected from a first year, who's just developed their first ever crush. Not an eighteen year old quidditch star in his final year.

He turns towards his mirror, to begin undressing for bed, completely unaware of the complications of what he had just done.

As he's pulling off his shirt, he almost swears that he can hear a creak, almost sounding like a door slowly opening, but he brushes it off, knowing deep down that it was just his mind playing tricks on him.

He closes his eyes for a second, breathing in the cool air of his dormitory, before opening them again, to take off his trousers.

But when he glances back at the mirror, his face falls, his heart rate rising, and he feels like he's suffocating.

His door, which he knew for a fact had been closed, and locked was now open ajar, and behind it, a figure.

You were stood there, in the same outfit as before. The shadows from the darkened doorway were hiding the features of your face, but you were unmistakingly you.

Sebastian's body reacts before his mind does, jumping at least a few feet in the air. He turns around abruptly to face you.

You're abnormally still.

"Y/N?" He asks, hesitantly. "Why did you leave me alone?" You whisper, so quietly, so unlike you.

Sebastian gulps. "Y-you said you wanted to go to bed." He responds, his voice shaking. You tilt your head, smiling, but it didn't feel right.

"But I don't want to be alone, not away from you." You repeat, in that tone again. "Listen, you're drunk, go to bed and we can talk in the morning." Sebastian tries to reason.

You take one small step inside his dorm, Sebastian finds himself instinctively backing up. "Oh don't back up sweetie. Why don't you come back with me? We can have some drinks, hang out." You suggest, your voice unwavering.

Sebastian takes another step further back. He was utterly confused, and truthfully, he was ever so slightly terrified.

"What? You literally-. Listen, it's late, you're drunk, do you need me to walk you back to your dorm?" Sebastian asks. Your eerie smile directed towards him widens by a fraction.

"No sweetie. Unless you'd like to come in?" You offer.

Sebastian was starting to feel extremely uncomfortable now. "Look, just, go back to your dorm, and to bed, please." He presses on.

You take two firm, certain steps inside his dormitory, closing the door behind you.

Then, slowly, you turn, to face him fully, your face contorted into a horrifying frown. The type that makes Sebastian flinch in fear, practically throwing himself up against the wall.

"Y/N?" He croaks out. "Come on Sebbie. Don't make someone as sad as me spend tonight alone."

He gulps, his hands trembling at his sides. "But you said you wanted to go to bed, I don't understand. You're starting to genuinely freak me out."

You approach him further, closing in on him. Your hand reaches out, to slide down his chest. "Come on, just a few drinks, a few laughs." You encourage. He shakes his head.

"Seriously, go to bed." He's stern now, voice firm. Your face hardens, as does the grip on his chest. Your frown intensifies as you lean in closer to him.

"Noooooo." You whine, face falling, your eyes were dark, darker than usual and Sebastian couldn't understand why.

All he understood in this very moment was that you were not acting normal. You were acting strange, and he didn't like it.

"Why not?" He breathes out. A tear falls from your face. "I can't be alone tonight. Please." You practically plead. Sebastian's face falls. He's utterly defeated.

He feels as though he no longer has a choice, for the first time in his life since he had met you, he was terrified of saying no to you, scared of what your next move would be.

He nods his head, so slightly that it was hardly noticeable.

"You can have my bed, I'll take the couch." He murmurs but you snap your head back to him, that same old sinister frown back.

"No! No no no no." You ramble, stamping your feet. Sebastian furrows his eyebrows, the fear was making itself at a home in a large lump in his throat. "Listen, I'm just being respectful, you're not in the right headspace right-." He tries to reason but you step even closer, jaw clenched so tightly.

"NO!" You roar, the walls practically trembling under the force of it. He scrambles back again, swallowing harshly. He nods. "Okay. Okay." His hands fly up, either side of his head for surrender. "Okay, just, it's okay." He reassures, slowly approaching the bed, never taking his eyes off of her.

"Do you need a fresh-." He starts but the focused glare she offers him cuts him off. His hands are shaking frantically as he pulls back the covers. "Whenever you're ready." He mumbles. You walk towards the bed, your movements quick, sharp. You sit down, kicking off your shoes, and curling into the bed, close to Sebastian.

Sebastian is practically frozen, his mind and heart racing. He has no idea what to even do or think. His best friend, his very drunk best friend was in his bed, close to him after getting weirdly aggressive at the idea of doing anything else that wasn't sharing a bed with him.

The same best friend who not even an hour ago had practically friend zoned him. To say that Sebastian Sallow was confused would be an understatement, but selfishly enough, he wasn't going to complain.

He'd always wanted this.

It doesn't take long for you to grow sleepy, your eyes drooping. You back yourself up further until Sebastian has no option other than to spoon you.

His hearts still racing, breathing heavily. He holds you tentatively.

"Goodnight." He mumbles, voice wavering. "Goodnight." You respond, drifting off.

~~~~~~

The clock reads 3:37 am when Sebastian first stirs. Something hadn't felt right, like he was being watched.

His eyes slowly flutter open, blinking against the sleep in his eyes, everything that had happened, rushes back to him. He turns, to check on you, but you aren't there.

A cold dread begins to seep through his bones as his eyes adjust to the darkness. He glances around, before noticing a slight black shadow in the very far corner of his dorm.

His heart beats out of his chest, his hands suddenly feeling clammy, sweaty. He feels like he's suffocating, every ounce of his body's nervous system is telling him to get the fuck out of there.

But he stays planted exactly where he was. He was way too terrified to move.

He was sure it was you, but that brought him zero comfort, because the idea of it being you, and doing something this creepy, this strange was even more terrifying than the idea of the figure being some form of entity.

"Y/N?" He calls out hesitantly, voice cracking ever so slightly.

There is no movement, nothing, the figure stays in the same position.

Sebastian shifts slightly. He's uncomfortable, his skin feels hot, and clammy, his shirt now sticking to his chest and back.

Sebastian Sallow was scared.

"Y/N?" He calls again, voice more steady this time. The figure shifts. There's the faint sound of something clinking.

"Y/N, seriously, it's late. What are you doing?" He asks again, voice raised. He was getting irritated.

You both had classes the next morning, and he was losing sleep because of whatever act you where pulling.

A terrifyingly low giggle erupts from the figure in the corner. Sebastian gulps, palms sweaty again, he shifts back against the headboard.

"Y/N, please-." He starts but he's cut off by a sudden step forward by the figure. "Shh." The figure says softly. The clinking noise starting back up again, this time louder.

"I'm watching you sleep, you're spoiling it." The figure murmurs, un-mistakingly your voice. Sebastian's blood runs cold, his suspicions correct.

"You're watching me sleep?" He asks nervously. You nod. "Go on, close your eyes, otherwise it won't work." You say eerily. Sebastian's eyes widen in fear. "What won't work? You're freaking me out here!" He yells.

You sprint towards him. Your hair dark, you're wearing his quidditch jersey, and you're holding a vial.

Not any old vial, it's a draught of the living dead vial.

"What the fuck?" Sebastian gasps in horror, springing out of the bed. You cock your head to the side, smirking. "What's wrong, afraid of the long nap? I just want to watch you sleep." You try to reassure, but your expression is as sinister as your intentions.

"Y/N. Please, let's just, talk about whatever this is, in the morning?" He pleads.

You seem to think about it for a moment, before dropping the vial, trudging back to the bed, flopping onto it and smiling directly up at him from where he was standing.

"You look so pretty when you sleep." You whisper. Sebastian can't even smile, or be grateful over the compliment.

You were scaring the complete and utter shit out of him, and Sebastian Sallow never got scared.

He stays still, as he stares down at you, in his bed, smiling like a madman, twirling the vial in your hands.

"Can you at least drop the vial please?" He asks kindly. You pout instantly. "Why?" You ask, challenging him. He sighs. "Please, you're scaring me. Just put the thing away." He asks again, this time less patient.

You offer him a cold stare, before dropping the vial to the floor, next to the bed, smashing it to pieces.

"Whatever you say." She murmurs, before turning into his chest, and her breathing evening out.

~

Sebastian doesn't sleep for the remainder of the night, terrified.

When you had woken up, you acted normal, as though nothing was wrong. You got up, left his dorm to go and get ready for the school day in your own.

You felt weird all day, funny, as though things had happened over night that you couldn't fully remember.

All you knew, was that you'd shared a bed with Sebastian and your heart had spent the entire morning fluttering over it.

The thought of seeing him, in class, in the halls, made your heart skip a beat. His messy hair, his brown eyes, his freckles, all of him.

You just wanted him to-

Wait. What the fuck. What the fuck was wrong with you.

Your brain begins to fight with you, because you had never shown interest in Sebastian Sallow and you most certainly wouldn't do it overnight.

Something was terribly wrong, you weren't thinking straight.

But then, like a switch, those thoughts vanish, and your head fills with images of Sebastian again, almost like you were possessed by a ghost .

It wasn't impossible, with the school being as big as it was.

You manage to make your way to potions class, Sebastian is already there, sat next to your good friend Poppy Sweeting. They always sat together, it was the seating arrangement made by Professor Sharp, but you didn't like this, one bit.

Your eyes narrow to Poppy, who's smiling at something Sebastian is saying. She's watching his hands closely as he stirs their cauldron.

The anger flares up inside your chest like a hot iron. You were absolutely livid, and betrayed by Sebastian.

How.

Dare.

He.

You storm over towards them, your arms folded, your face harsh like stone.

Poppy notices first, glancing up to you. Sebastian follows her gaze, his body tensing, and you notice the way he subtly pushes back his chair, as if he was afraid of you.

What on earth did you do last night and why couldn't you remember?

Better, why on earth were you so bothered about Poppy's presence.

"Oh, hi Y/N." Poppy says cheerfully, smiling softly at you but it isn't returned. You glare at her.

"Why are you sitting here?" You ask, harshly. Poppy flinches, staring at you, flabbergasted.

"W-what do you mean? I've been sitting here since the start of the year." She explains but you let out an abrupt, humourless laugh, cutting her off.

"And why? So you could get in his pants? I'll give you one second to fucking move away from my Sebastian before I hurt you." You mutter.

By now, at least half of the class was staring at you, confused at the outburst. You weren't usually like this.

"Y/N. What the fuck is your problem?" Sebastian asks angrily. You frown at him. "Don't shout at me." You say sadly, trying to show him how sad it made you that he was annoyed by you. Your eyes were now glistening with tears.

He rolls his eyes. "Seriously, I don't know what you've taken but you're acting insane. You need to chill, relax. Go have a day off." He pleads. This only fuels your rage.

You narrow your eyes at him, shaking your head slowly, laughing again, still devoid of any humour.

"And risk you locking lips with her the second I do? No thanks." You mumble. He groans in frustration. He opens his mouth to speak but you raise a hand, to silence him.

What he had to say wasn't your worry anymore.

Your worry was the fact that Poppy Sweeting had the nerve to remain seated on that stool, and you were done with it.

In one, brief, short-tempered moment, it was as though something takes over your hands, controlling them and you flip the cauldron over, the Smokey sickly green contents spilling over the desk, and directly into the hands of Poppy Sweeting.

At first, there's no reaction, then a sharp gasp emits from her, before a gut wrenching scream as she abruptly stands up, holding her hands in front of her.

Her once, pale, small hands had enlarged in size by at least two masses. They were a deep crimson red, and rather swollen. It looked painful and judging by the raw reaction emitting from the lungs of Poppy Sweeting, it was.

Everyone was staring at her in horror, then at you with disgust, and something close to fear. Everyone except Sebastian, who was staring at you, with a look of disdain.

He wasn't fussing over Poppy, ignoring the quick efforts by Professor Sharp to get the girl escorted over to the hospital wing. He doesn't move. He just stares, his hands trembling, likely from fury.

Your brain doesn't seem to register any of this. You don't respond to anything, not the reactions, not even the usual methods to help you become responsive. You don't even react as a student from your class spits at you, shouting something incoherent.

You respond to absolutely nothing.

Except one thing.

One little detail about the attack that had just taken place. The main outcome you'd hoped for.

The stool next to Sebastian Sallow was now vacant and that was mission accomplished. You smile in victory, stomping over to the now empty space, and dropping yourself into the seat, turning your head to smile at Sebastian.

He doesn't turn it, he backs his chair away slightly. "What the fuck was that?" He spits out in terror. You don't seem to care about his tone, continuing to smile at him, your stare unwavering.

He tries to move away, but you firmly grip his hand, your stare turning deadly. "Don't you fucking move." You grit. He flinches violently and he seems to think about it for a second, before he submits, moving his chair back close to you.

You roughly place your hand over his on the table, forcing him to intertwine his fingers with you. He can barely face the rest of the class, he feels humiliated, and terrified.

This was the most embarrassing moment in his entire Hogwarts career.

He had let himself be controlled, not by anyone. But by you, who was until this very moment, thought of as the sweetest girl in the school.

That reputation was out of the window.

~~~~~~~~

Sebastian Sallow had been in absolutely every single rush to get himself out of the potions classroom after it had finished. He hadn't even given you time to speak to him, he had simply bolted out of his chair and gone.

For him, everything was incredibly confusing. You were perfectly normal yesterday morning and all day, leading up to going out, and at the three broomsticks you'd been fine.

Until he dropped you off and-.

Sebastian suddenly jumps out of his bed, his eyes wide in fear, and sheer horrified realisation.

The relic.

He had fucking caused this.

He doesn't end up sleeping that night, he spends the entire time in the restricted section of the library, desperately checking ancient texts for any information on the relic and how it worked.

There happened to be an entire section, based on the matter. The relic was part of some very ancient magic, a voodoo, designed to grant your deepest darkest wishes.

Sebastian's heart had plummeted to the pit of his stomach at the announcement of the unwanted news.

This was all his fault.

He never should have made that stupid wish, he got ahead of himself, and now he'd messed up, badly.

He scans the aisle again, searching for any title that's related to ancient voodoo magic. He feels warm, too warm. His hands are clammy, he was nervous.

Nervous to discover more. He was terrified that he'd find another historic text which would reveal what exactly had happened to you for you to change.

His hands graze the different spines softly as he paces the restricted section, until, he one stands out to him. He pauses, his finger remaining on the spine as he leans closer to take a look.

The book is large, and quite roughly tatted, showing off its age. This book had been around for a long time. The title is slightly faded but it was still decipherable.

'The possession of Voodoo: An Ancient Magic Guide

Sebastian can feel the goosebumps already enveloping his body, he feels tense.

Possession.

That word, that simple fact behind all of this which he had feared most. He had been worried deep down this entire time that he had somehow managed to possess you, whilst still holding onto the hope that it was just him overthinking.

But now, the truth seemed to be dawning on him.

He carefully extracts the book from the shelf, grunting at the weight of it. He trudges over to a table, slamming the book onto it with a loud thud. He yanks open the first page, breathing heavily.

His eyes scan the contents page, before they land on his target.

'The use of ancient relic: The devastating and long lasting implications that come alongside it.'

"Shit." Sebastian mutters, opening the book to page 563, like the content page advises.

The first thing that catches Sebastian's attention when his eyes adjust to the page was the images on the top left corner.

They were of people, looking out of place. They seemed unhappy, like they were being controlled. The images settle an unsteady feeling in Sebastian's chest. "What the fuck?" He whispers as he scans the writing.

''The ancient relic, commonly referred to as 'The One Wish Relic' is a piece of ancient voodoo magic, designed to grant the user their biggest desire for no extra cost, other than one.

To correctly use the relic, one must wait for the flashing lights, then when appropriate to do so, simply open the relic and state their wish. Quickly slam the relic shut and seal it tightly then wait for the magic to do the rest.

If done correctly, the relic will have your wish granted within five to ten minutes. If not, it could take longer, not happen at all or cause devastating effects, so take care.'

Sebastian slumps slightly. He had used it correctly, so it should be fine right? Just some crazy magic shit.

Then he finds the side effects section.

'In order for the relic to grant your wish, one of it's hosts from the underworld takes the matters into their hands. They'll do the work whilst you wait. For example, if the wish includes another human being, the host simply takes form inside of their body and mind for the unforeseeable to ensure that the individual does what was request by the grantor.'

Sebastian's entire world turns upside down, his suspicions being confirmed.

He'd possessed her. He had actually fucking possessed her.

"IFUCK!" He yells, slamming his fist against the table, ignoring the soaring pain it ignites. He slums back down, his head in his hands.

"Fuck fuck fuck. Sallow you absolute fucking idiot. You sick fucking fuck." He mutters to himself.

He rummages through the pages, trying to find a section on cures, or ways to reverse the effects, but there was nothing.

He looks around, breathing heavily, before grabbing the book and rushing out of the restricted section, and back to his dorm.

If he was caught, he could end up in Azkaban for something like this. He couldn't get caught. He opens the door to his dormitory and stops dead in his tracks.

You were there, sat on the edge of the bed. You seemed neutral, in a simple but pretty floral sundress. Your hair was done nicely, curled naturally at the bottoms with slight makeup.

Sebastian gulps, almost forgetting everything else worrying his mind for a moment, despite the fact you were the main source of the stress in his head.

"W-what are you doing here?" He asks softly, as not to spook you, as he sets the book down into a drawer, closing it. You smile, but it's a kind smile, not the sinister one from days before.

"Look. I need to apologise. The other day, people were passing around new substances to try and I didn't want to seem boring so I tried them, and I guess it really messed with me and made me act incredibly weird for the past couple of days. I realise that my actions, in your room that night, and in potions the other day wasn't okay. I don't know what I took that caused those actions from me but I promise you I've gone home, I've reflected on it and I'm ready to move on and be normal." She explains calmly, very respectful.

Sebastian lets out a sigh of relief. His mind wandering. She didn't seem possessed. Maybe it wasn't real? Or maybe she had been possessed but is better now. Either way, Sebastian wasn't going to complain.

"Thank you for explaining. I won't lie, your actions were creeping me the fuck out, but your explanation makes a lot of sense. You were terrifying me, Y/N. You were like a woman possessed." He responds.

You giggle softly, covering your face in embarrassment. "God. I know, I know and I don't why I acted like that, but I'm sorry." You look down, taking a deep breath, one that didn't feel right, but you shake it off.

Not now.

"I need to tell you something." You blurt out, looking back at him. He stiffens, gulping. "O-okay?" He questions, confused and slightly hesitant?

You take another deep breath before approaching him.

"Listen. I am so sorry about how I handled everything the past few days. The truth is Sebastian, I really really like you." You start, not noticing the pure shock that flashes across Sebastian's eyes, and the internal battle that follows.

Instead, you continue.

"I've had these feelings for you, for such a long time." You add. Sebastian's chest is tightening at the words as he stares at you.

He should be happy, delighted and deep down, he was. This is exactly what he'd always wanted to hear but the book was occupying his mind too, the words still haunting his memory.

How he had genuinely believed he had possessed you, and deep down, he knew that the book wasn't lying, that nothing was adding up.

However, the adrenaline of the moment, the pure happiness that he feels just from hearing those words take over and he pushes any thoughts of doubts out of his mind.

He smiles at you, his eyes shining. "Really?" He asks, hopeful. You smile, but it doesn't reach your eyes.

"Really."

His posture relaxes as the word leaves your lips and he takes a single step closer to you. "I uh. I've been feeling the same way about you, for a really long time too." He admits, even if his mind is screaming at him to stop, and do the right thing.

He can't seem to.

After all, this was his wish. This is what he wanted, what fool would he be if he passed it up? After everything?

So he smiles at you, waiting for your reply.

You don't respond with words, you just step closer, pulling him into a tight embrace, your lips grazing his neck. "I'm so glad." You say, but it sounds blunt. Fortunately, Sebastian is way too happy to notice. He pulls you in tighter, breathing heavily.

He pulls back slightly, cupping your cheeks, a soft private smile, just for you. "I'm so happy." He murmurs, leaning in close, his lips centimetres apart from yours.

He's about to bridge that final gap when a sharp rapping against his dorm door breaks them apart. He curses, groaning in frustration. He gives you an apologetic smile before pulling back, to open the door.

He only opens it a slither, his face tensing when he sees none other than Poppy Sweeting. "Hey, Pops, are you okay?" He asks, trying to sound neutral.

"We need to talk. It's about Y/N." She says urgently. "Look, it's really not the time." Sebastian says sharply but Poppy seems to be unrelenting.

"I'm serious Sallow. Something is seriously fucking wrong." Your jaw drops slightly S you eavesdrop on the conversation.

Poppy Sweeting never swore. Ever.

"I know you've liked her for the longest time, but it's all weird Sebastian. She has literally friend zoned you, multiple times, then one night you walk her back to her dorm, alone and suddenly she's all over you? Like she's been smitten since she first met you. It makes no sense, it's like a switch flipped over night." She exclaims.

"For fuck sake Poppy. Why are you making it weird? I don't know why it's suddenly happened, but what I do know is that I won't question it because this is all I've ever wanted! She probably just felt shy, and has only just grown confidence."  He tries to reason but Poppy scoffs.

"Don't be fucking thick Sebastian! She burnt my hands. She's not violent yet she was that enraged by the sight of us talking, and having a laugh that she purposely spilled a cauldron over me! Don't you realise how fucking insane that is?" She is yelling now, properly.

Sebastian sighs. "Look, I don't know what's happened okay, I'll talk to her." He murmurs and then he's stepping outside, closing the door fully so you can no longer hear the words, just the muffled sounds of their tense conversation through the thick wood.

But inside the dorm, you were stuck in your own turmoil, because Poppy Sweeting had been right.

That was not like you. At all.

You had never been a violent person, and you hadn't even registered what you'd done to Poppy until hours later and now looking back, it all felt weird.

Why had you done that? Why had you felt so enraged at the sight of them together. Especially as you had never seen Sebastian that way, and you had always respected Poppy.

Sebastian was your best friend but yet, you had shared his bed, you had almost kissed him.

Wait a fucking second. You had almost kissed him.

You internally gag as you suddenly remembered the brief interaction from moments before.

You try to rack your brain for any memory of the night he walked you home but you come up short.

All you could remember was the three broomsticks, the quiz, then Sebastian offering to walk you home. He'd gotten you home safely, and you had made it inside your dorm. You could even remember flopping onto your bed, exhausted.

Then it had felt like something else, something greater had taken over your mind, and your body.

You can remember moving, walking back to Sebastian's dorm. You could remember talking to him, how scared he looked. You could briefly remember getting into his bed, then closing your eyes to sleep.

Then, the next thing you had remembered was how you'd somehow teleported to the corner of his dorm, watching him as he slept.

What the fuck? Why had you even done that?

None of it made sense. It felt like whenever you were with Sebastian Sallow, your mind wasn't yours but when you weren't with him, everything was fine, normal.

You shriek in disgust as you register the room you're standing in, how close you had been to kissing him and you feel the violent urge to throw up and get out.

You had to make up an excuse, and you had to do it quick.

You rack your brain for ideas, just as he opens the door, entering the room again. His face was pale and he looked guilty, his shoulders stiff with a tension you couldn't name.

"Sorry about-." He starts but you abruptly cut him off. "I have to go, sorry. Professor Sharp wanted to see me, it was about the incident the other day." You quickly lie, not giving Sebastian a chance to respond before you're practically sprinting out of the door.

You had only half-lied. You were going to Professor Sharp's classroom, but not to be scolded. You need something.

Ingredients.

You knew that the only person who could potentially have answers for your sudden change in behaviour was Sebastian. He was the last person to see you before everything went strange.

And you knew just the thing for that.

The Legilimency Potion.

A potion designed to see into the mind of your chosen victim, but the victim must not be aware of taking it in order for it to be of effect. So you had to play this smart.

~

And you do, for the next few days, you avoid Sebastian Sallow at all costs. You knew that every single time you went near him, your mind took over and you did something awful.

It's easy enough to find the ingredients, the harder part was brewing the potion. It took time, a lot of time, something you were unfortunately short of.

Whilst it spend its days brewing, you conducted the rest of the plan.

You had to figure out a way to give him the potion without him actually knowing. You had to ensure that he drank the entire thing.

You had gone through many ideas, slipping it into his breakfast tea, but since the potions incident, you couldn't even enter the great hall without someone pushing, or spitting at you, calling you a psychopath, so that idea was quickly out of the window.

You had thought about during his Quidditch practices, but thought better of it.

Finally, your plan comes into place on a Tuesday, after defence against the dark arts class. A class you luckily hadn't shared with Sebastian. You'd endured an entire hour of bullying and was on your way to your dorm when you first see a flyer.

It's an open invitation, to a Slytherin common room party. Your own house, of course you hadn't been invited officially, as no one was talking to you. Not even Ominis, Garreth, or Imelda would pay you any mind, not after the Poppy thing.

They were worried you would simply attack them for even being friends with Sebastian.

The party was being held on a Friday evening, at eight pm. Bringing your own alcohol was deeply encouraged and you knew for a fact that Sebastian would attend, and bring his own fire whiskey as he always did.

You just had to make sure the potion was finished by then.

~

Luckily for you, the potion finalises its brewing four hours before the party was due to start.

You destroy any evidence that it was ever brewed and you store the potion in your bra, so no one could detect it by accident.

For your outfit, you opt for a simple black denim skirt and a dark red crop top, a stark contrast against your skin.

You looked good, really good.

Your logic was, that if you were about to potentially ruin a man's future as karma, you should at least look hot whilst doing it.

You also had to prepare though. You knew that in order to lace his drink with the potion, you had to get into close proximity with him again, which meant that you'd end up doing some weird shit again.

But to you that didn't matter, all that mattered was getting the truth out of him.

~

You arrive at the party a few minutes past seven, fully aware of the horrific stares you are met with as you tread your way through the common room.

You catch a glimpse of your old friend group, who quickly advert their gazes, wishing not to even look at you.

You find a place in the back corner to stand whilst you scan the room for your target. It doesn't take long for you to find him.

You spot him near the drinks station, looking older, as if he hadn't slept in days. He probably hadn't, as you'd been avoiding him and you knew that he had been asking about you.

He'd even tried your door multiple times, begging for you to let him in to talk and fix whatever it was that was going on.

If only he knew.

You take a deep breath, knowing that this was your best and only chance. You prepare yourself for the personality change as you approach him, sneakily extracting the potion from your bra and popping off the cap, you position it correctly in your right palm before reaching Sebastian.

"Hey." You say softly. His head snatches up and he looks pleasantly surprised, a shy, hesitant smile graces his lips.

"Hey, w-where have you been?" He asks. You smile, that usual fake smile you offer him every time you're close. "I'm so sorry! I've been attending daily detentions with Sharp as punishment for what I did to you and Poppy." You reassure him, leaning close. He relaxes slightly.

"Thank god." He breathes out in relief, his hand coming up to touch your left arm. He places his firewhiskey on the table in front of you.

Perfect.

"I was so scared you were angry at me." He admits, vulnerably, staring into your eyes. You smile. "Why on earth would I be angry?" You question, although it had spiked up your suspicion.

Because why else would he be worried that you were angry? Unless he knew something that you should be angry about?

He shrugs, suddenly nervous. "I-I I don't know. J-just overthinking." He stutters.

You clench your jaw.

"Oh my gosh, is that Ominis chatting up a girl?" You ask, pointing to Ominis Gaunt who was most definitely chatting up a girl. Sebastian follows your finger and he grins. You take this few seconds long opportunity, and you quickly tip the vial into his drink, watching as it dissolves into the same liquid as the whiskey.

Phew. It was done. All he had to do was drink it.

You shove the vial into your bra again before he can notice, and you smile at him innocently as he turns his head again.

He picks up the drink.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

He takes the first sip, his face scrunches up and for a second you grow worried that he could somehow taste the difference, but then he relaxes.

"That's a strong one." He simply states before taking a bugger gulp.

"Yeah." You say cheerfully, fighting with every fibre of your being to keep some of your mind, so you could execute this.

You turn to make a drink when you hear footsteps. "Sallow! It's nice to see you here." A feminine voice announces and your blood runs cold. All of your control fraying.

You turn around, to source the voice.

It's Samantha Dale, from Ravenclaw. She played quidditch, hence her connection to Sebastian.

But quite frankly you couldn't give less of a shit where she knew him from. She was in your space, near your man.

"Fuck off Dale." You grumble. Her eyes widen in fear. "I was just saying hi!" She says, confused but you shrug. "I'm serious." You glare but she doesn't move. She'd likely heard the rumours about your behaviour towards anyone talking to Sebastian.

She scoffs. "Anyways, Sebastian. I know we're on opposing teams but we were thinking of having a meet up, all four teams at The Three Broomsticks. Could be fun, a few drinks." She says friendly. Sebastian doesn't even have a chance to react before you're on Samantha Dale.

Your hands fly out to grasp at her throat as you pin her to the drinks table. "What did I fucking tell you, you bitch?" You spit. Her face is pale, her cheeks pink in contrast as she frantically swipes at your hand to stop.

No one moves to help her, not even Sebastian. Everyone was afraid of you, and what you'd do if they intervened.

"See, Sallow. Not even helping her are you?" You bark at him. "What the fuck have you done to me huh? This isn't me! We both fucking know that this ISN'T me. Yet it's my hands doing this. WHY?" You plead with him as you continue to pin Samantha to the table.

Your mind was coming back but you still lacked control of your hands.

Sebastian freezes, his face turning ghostly white as his mouth opens unwillingly.

"It was the relic." He blurts, face paling further as he fails to stop his mouth from betraying him. You stare at him, flabbergasted. "What fucking relic?" You ask, heaving as you let go of Samantha roughly, shoving her to the ground before beelining to your next victim, Sebastian.

You grip his shoulders dragging him through the common room and into an alcove, pinning him to the rough stone wall.

"An ancient one, that Ominis and I came across some time ago. It had seemed useless but that night I walked you home, and you sort of friend zoned me and god, all I'd ever wanted was to be yours. I got to my dorm, and it started glowing. It instructed me to make a wish. So I did. I didn't know what implications it would have! I swear! I was just a dumb idiot in love!" He tried to defend.

You push him further into the stone wall, your grip unrelenting.

"What did you wish?" You ask bitterly. He shakes his head. "Does the details matter?"

You lean closer, seething. "Yes it fucking matters! What. Did. You. Wish?" You plead, your demeanour breaking.

"I wished for you to love me, more than anyone in the world." He admits in shame. You scoff, dropping his shoulders.

"You're serious? You've destroyed my life! My reputation, so you could feel what it was like to be loved by me? Do you know how insane, how desperate that is!"

You were completely livid, now pacing. He pants softly, staring at you guiltily. "I know, god I know and I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking." He pleads.

"Of course you weren't thinking! You're a selfish piece of shit! I can't be fucking near you, without losing my mind, having no control over my actions. That's not normal! And it's most certainly not fucking love Sebastian." You exclaim.

He slumps to the ground, his head in his hands. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, forgive me." He pleads, looking up at you, brokenly.

You laugh bitterly, shaking your head.

"You ruined my life, you coward." You mutter. He lets out some sort of pathetic whimper as you back away from him.

The reality that he was losing you, after everything seemed to finally be registering within him.

You turn, to exit the alcove. You only had one destination in your mind.

And it was to get to wherever on earth was furthest away from Sebastian Sallow.

"Wait. Please." Sebastian pleads, still on the floor but you ignore him, breaking out into a sprint as you exit the common room, ignoring the disgusted looks from your peers.

You sprint down the corridors of the castle, until you reach the courtyards, then the gates, then you keep running.

You didn't know where you were gonna go, or how your future would pan out.

All you knew was that as long as you were as far from Sebastian Sallow as possible, then you'd live a normal life.

You just wouldn't be able to face Hogwarts, or anyone you'd known from that part of your life again, not after all you'd done.

But that was okay as long as you were away from him and his wish.

~~

Your days had been looking different lately. Ever since graduating high school, there were no more late nights filled with homework and early mornings walking through the bright lights of your school hallways.

Summer was passing by slowly, which you didn’t mind as you were starting school back up in the fall to study nursing and you weren’t looking forward to those study sessions you heard so much about.

You only had wished it hurried up a little more as your boyfriend of one year was away at tech school for the Air Force and you missed him terribly. You’d never forget the look on Sebastian’s face when he told you his plans of enlisting. No one had ever looked so broken but proud at the same time. 

And later on this evening, he was flying back after graduation. He had been through basic training and was coming back after his security forces school. It had been a long three months since he had left—filled with lots of letters and the scarce phone call.

But he was coming back and that’s all that mattered.

You paced your room over and over again, trying to pick out the perfect outfit to see him at the airport. What could possibly be cute enough to wrap up the last few months into a piece of clothing? You weren’t even sure something as such could exist.

You settled on a simple white dress you had worn to your own graduation and curled your hair. After swiping on a pink shade of gloss, you admired your work and kissed your parents goodbye as you headed off to the airport.

His car had been parked in your driveway after you dropped him off. Some nights you’d go out there and sit in the passenger seat and remember him—all the kisses you had shared over the console. It still smelled of him. 

This time though, you sat in the driver’s seat as you prepared to pick him up. Every mile the car got closer, more nerves filled your belly. At one point you were sure you’d be sick from the butterflies swarming around at an alarming rate.

As you pulled into the lot, your heart was racing as your palms began sweating against the steering wheel.

About ten minutes from now, you’d be in his arms again and your body would feel anew. 

The trip inside of the airport felt longer than it should’ve, but the minutes dragged by as you waited outside his gate. Passengers started pouring out of the long terminal, one by one finding their families or leaving alone.

And then you saw a familiar head of tousled brown hair above the crowd. Even from far away, his freckles were still a stark contrast against his skin, illuminated even more after being under the Texas sun.

A breath hitched in your throat as your feet started running before your mind could decide what to do. Step by step, you weaved between the crowd of people heading into the airport until you saw him standing there with a duffel bag slung over his shoulder.

He was adorned in his service blues—deep blue trousers with the matching jacket. His silver name tag stood out against the navy color, with “Sallow” engraved across the metal. 

You stopped for a moment to drink him in. He did the same as he stared you down, not taking his eyes off of you as he placed his bag on the tile floor.

He was too far away to hear but you watched as his mouth formed the words “baby” followed by a breathless smile.

You started running again without stopping this time, not until you were wrapped up in his arms. They surrounded you in the warmest embrace you had felt in a long time, the heat melting the ice wall you had built up ever since he left.

”Sebastian,” you cried into his shoulder.

”Shh, I know, baby, it’s okay,” he cooed into your hair. His hand held your waist tightly against him as the other combed through your hair, cradling your head against him. “I’m here now.”

You shook against him as you sobbed, His hand continued rubbing slow circles against your hips as he held you, with no plans of letting you go.

Your knees gave out beneath you at the sheer intensity of it all and his arms held you as he followed you to the ground. When your legs hit the cool floor, he pulled away to look at you, up close for the first time in months.

His cheeks were strawberry pink and tear stained, his brown eyes glossed over with more tears threatening to escape. He pressed his forehead against yours as he breathed in the same air as you. 

“God, I missed you. Your scent,” he said as his lips pressed against yours hastily. “Your lips.”

You pulled him in for another kiss, deeper this time. It was hunger-filled and passionate. The two of you nearly forgot where you were for a moment until he chuckled against your lips.

”I got carried away,” you giggled and sniffled back.

”It’s okay sweetheart, get carried away with me.”

After a few more moments of kneeling with him on the ground, he helped get you back to your feet and walked you out of the airport with his hand woven around yours. 

As you stepped into the muggy summer air, he pulled his hat from his pocket and sat it on his head. You knew it was protocol—to wear his hat only outdoors—but he looked too handsome for his own good. Kissing him silly didn’t seem like such a bad idea, no matter where you were.

But you held yourself back and leaned on your tiptoes to give him a quick peck on the cheeks.

”Hey get back here,” he called.

He chased you all the way back to your car until he finally caught up with you and lifted you off the ground.

”No fair! You’re all strong and muscular now,” you squealed as he spun you around.

”Now? What about before?” He teased.

But then he set you down against the door of his car and looked down at you while he tucked a rogue curl behind your ear.

“You look so beautiful,” he whispered.

All that worrying for nothing, of course he was Sebastian and you could’ve shown up in a brown potato sack and hear him say the same thing.

His lips were on yours again as you felt the cool metal behind your back, chilled from the shadows of the parking garage. His hand laced between the strands of your hair as he held you closely against his body as his lips moved on yours.

His lips felt so soft against your own, like two pillows moving against your mouth. He tasted sweet too, of cinnamon gum and cheap airplane coffee. His cologne filled your senses, moving through the quiet breeze of August. You were surrounded by him in every way possible and you felt so at peace.

He was finally home and so were you.

The drive was peaceful. He drove which gave you the perfect opportunity to stare at him the whole way back to your hometown. You hardly noticed as he pulled you into the parking lot of your favorite local restaurant—where you had your first date.

It served Italian and while it wasn’t nearly as good or fancy as places in the city, it was yours. He skipped over to your door and held it open in the slight drizzle, dropping darkening spots on his coat. 

The smell of wet pavement filled the air as you stepped out into the evening, illuminated by already-glowing streetlights. 

He held your hand the whole way to the front door and even as you were sat.

Neither of you needed menus as many times as you had frequented the place, but you still looked at him over the top of the laminated sheet making eyes at him.

”You know you don’t need that, sweetheart, you’re just going to get the spaghetti,” he quipped.

”You never know, I might switch it up.”

You didn’t, you never did.

Your waitress took your orders and walked away with the menus, leaving the two of you in your own little bubble—tucked in a corner booth.

He looked at you like he had something to say, and he was eager to get it out.

”Okay, Sallow, spill.”

”Am I that obvious?”

”Terribly so,” you laughed.

He laid a hand out on the wooden table, worn with years of use, and you met him in the middle.

His hands weren’t nearly as soft as they used to be either. Though it wasn’t years worth like the table between you, it felt like it. Callouses were driven into his palms from relentless work and they were dried from the heat.

“I’ve been thinking—“

”Oh no,” you teased and you were met with his sweet laughter.

”I know, I know. But really sweetheart, I have. I know it’s quick, and I just got back, but I swear it’s not just because I was gone. Every day, I thought of you, you were what got me through it all, because I knew you were at home waiting for me. And I could never imagine a life where you’re not there on the other side of it all. I-I got my orders. I’m headed to Germany in a week. And I want you to come… as my wife.”

Your heart dropped. Your hearing went out. You loved him, of course you did. A life with him was all you could ever dream of, but you were barely eighteen, you barely lived. You felt the lump form in your throat—a rock you couldn’t swallow.

“Sebastian…” you breathed. Your voice was shaky along with your hand. “I-“

”I know it’s a lot and it’s not ideal, but please baby, will you marry me? We can go to the courthouse tomorrow and—“

”No,” you whispered as you pulled your hand away.

Sebastian’s face contorted in on itself. His chest heaved visibly under his button up. 

“I-I can’t, I’m so sorry.”

You slid across the booth as the leather squeaked beneath you.

”Wait!” He called but you were already out the door.

The rain had started to come down harder when you were inside. It began soaking through your dress, dripping water onto the pavement beneath your feet. The door behind you opened with a creak. The rain above you stopped as Sebastian held his jacket over your head.

”Did I do something wrong?” He asked. “Please tell me and I-I’ll fix it I swear it.”

”No Sebastian, you didn’t. I just—“

”Do you not… do you not love me?” He asked as his lip quivered.

”Of course, I do. More than anything.”

”Then why?”

”I-I don’t know…”

”Baby… I asked you to marry me and you said no. I need more than that.”

He was right. You knew he was.

”Sebastian, we-we’re hardly eighteen. I-we haven’t even lived yet and I… I have plans for my life.”

”Without me in them?”

”No, Seb, it’s not like that and you know it.”

”I-I don’t know what to think anymore.”

”I love you, okay? So much it hurts. I ached without you these past few months, but I just can’t uproot my life and move across the ocean. I-I have school coming up, you know how bad I want that.”

”I know,” he replied. “But what did you think would happen when I got back? That I would get to stay here?”

”I don’t know, maybe? I didn’t know you would just up and leave me.”

He scoffed. “Leave you? If you think that’s what is happening then you must not know me very well. I don’t have a choice.”

”You did when you enlisted!” You yelled over the rain, louder than you meant. “You chose that life over me the day you signed your name.”

”I thought it was our life. I thought I was doing what was best for you—best for us!”

”I would never ask you to do that. I don’t want you to leave, why don’t you get that?”

He breathed out a sigh. “Well I have to. And bottom line is if you want to come with me, you have to come as my wife, okay? But if you say no, we’re done here.”

”Sebastian… I-I can’t,” you sobbed.

Tears on his face began running down, mixing with the rain. “So that’s it then? We’re over just like that?”

The way your heart ached you thought it might actually shatter into a thousand pieces. Your hand flew up and you held on tightly to try and hold it together. You could only respond with a small nod, not daring to say the words. Not daring to end everything you had built.

The last year flashed in your mind. From the moment he tugged on your braid in junior math and you turned around to see him grinning, to your first date where he picked you up in his old beater and kissed you on your parents’ porch, to prom where you slow danced under a disco ball, to now: standing in the rain while your world crumbled.

He dropped the coat and pulled you in for a hug, holding you like you might disappear, because he will disappear for who knows how long. You shuddered against him as you choked out a sob. The one person in the world you wanted, the only one who could fix everything, was leaving and you wouldn’t—couldn’t—go with him.

”Promise me you’ll still write me, yeah? I need to know you’re okay,” he said, kissing the top of your wet head.

”I will, I promise I will. You’re my best friend.”

That broke something in him and he began shaking with a cry as he held you. You couldn’t bear to look up at him, so you just huddled against his chest as the rain continued to pour over you, taking everything you had with it.

The drive home was silent as you stared out the window, memories flashing by with each small building. You were soaked to the bone and shivering against his cool leather seats as he pulled in to your driveway.

This was it, the last time you’d see the love of your life. How does one even begin to cope with that feeling? You were numb down to your toes and had cried yourself dry. You turned to look at him one last time, pink nosed and red cheeked. His lips had swollen up from crying too hard, his eyelids were red-rimmed. The sight nearly broke your already torn heart.

”Kiss me one last time?” He asked, without looking at you, scared of what you might say.

”Sebastian…”

”I know, that was stupid of me,” he sniffled and huffed out a laugh.

You leaned over and kissed him anyway, despite how stupid it may have been—despite how hard it wrecked you. It was quick, over before you wanted it to be. It only made you want to kiss him over and over again, but you couldn’t.

”I’m sorry,” you said as you got out of his car, for the last time, and walked up the porch steps.

His car stayed in place until he knew you were safely inside, like always.

After you stepped inside your house, it still took a moment for his car to pull away. As you watched the red taillights become smaller and smaller, you hurt more and more. You sank to the ground inside your mud room and bawled until you woke your mom.

But you didn’t want her comfort, you wanted—needed—his. How could the one person in the world you want be the one person you can’t have?

The next week went by in a blur. You barely spoke to him, except for a few friendly text messages here and there, but it was awkward and tense.

A month went by even slower. But then your first letter from him came, just as he promised.

He spoke of Germany and his job as a security officer, guarding the base day in and day out. He spoke of new foods he got to try and his roommates on base. He seemed happy and that’s all you could ask for.

You had started school, so you told him about that. You told him about a boy in your class who was an even bigger pest than he was, which was saying a lot. You told him how you got a part time job at the library to fill your evenings when you didn’t have class.

Letters were sent back and forth for a while. But the ache never left you. Seeing his scrawly boyish handwriting every couple weeks was starting to get to you. Your wound was too fresh and couldn’t heal as he kept digging in it.

One day, after you received a letter from him, talking about the usual:his job and his friends, you cried yourself to sleep. Normally you’d write back to him right away, but this time took longer. You knew what you had to do, you just couldn’t do it.

Until a few days later, you sat at your desk and with a shaking hand, you put pen to paper.

Dear Sebastian,

I’m sorry.

You crumbled it up and threw it in the trash. You did that several more times until you just let your heart take over.

Dear Sebastian,

I have tried writing this so many times, but no words I can come up with do the right thing. So I just have to come out and say it. Writing to you hurts too much. I miss you more than I ever thought possible and doing this keeps ripping me open. This is the last time I can write to you. I’m sorry. I hope nothing but the best for you.

It sounded so formal, almost too formal for what you were. But if you delved in too much you’d say too much and it needed to be quick—like ripping off a bandaid.

You folded it up and stuck it in an envelope, tasting the bitter glue as you licked the seal. A tear dropped on the paper, crumbling it on contact as you wrote his address on the back.

You never heard from Sebastian again.

Four years later…

It had been a long day in the labor and delivery unit. Your feet were sore from walking around the ward all day, but nothing was more rewarding. It was always a good day when you got to help deliver a baby, but two! That called for a celebration.

”See you at The Beach?” Your coworker asked.

”Obviously,” you replied.

A sex on the beach was calling your name like no other. Nothing could calm your nerves like a good drink.

You finished up charting before clocking out. Your ID badge jingled across your chest as you strolled down the bright white hall. You took a breath of relief as you walked out the double doors and to your car.

It was a short drive home as you had decided to work in your hometown, you actually lived only a few blocks away from your parents now in a place you’ve made home. 

You walked in and were greeted by your dog who had been waiting (not so) patiently for your arrival home. You gave him more food and water, pet his fluffy head, and headed towards your room.

Your scrubs were thrown off in haste and tossed into your ever-growing pile of laundry.

”What outfit says ‘I just had an awesome day at work, but I still need a drink after my shift’, Bud?”

Your dog laid on the carpet with a hmph, knowing you were about to leave him again.

”I don’t know either, that’s why I asked you.”

You landed on a white dress, pantyhose, and a denim jacket. 

“How do I look?” You asked aloud as you spun in front of your full-length mirror.

Your dog still gave you puppy dog eyes.

”I know, honey, I’ll be back.”

You grabbed your small purse off the dinner table and headed out your back door.

The walk to The Beach wasn’t too far either—perks of living in a small town.

It used to be your favorite restaurant actually, but it had been years since you'd been there. It was recently bought out and turned into a vibrant bar. And Friday nights were karaoke night. 

Loud, thumping music was shaking the floor as you stepped inside and found your friends at a table.

”And a sex on the beach for the lovely lady,” one said, handing you the pink drink.

”Oh, you shouldn’t have,” you replied with a smirk.

A few drinks in and you and a couple girls felt bold enough to sign up—for one song.

The DJ showed you his list.

”How about “Don’t Stop Believin’’,” one suggested.

”Boring!” The other chimed in.

”We have to do a classic,” you said. “I vote ‘Super Trouper’.”

Your two friends’ faces lit up instantly.

”We’ll be like Donna and the Dynamos,” one beamed drunkenly.

“Okay hun,” you laughed with a shaking head.

You got a three second countdown and you began singing the intro.

The crowd immediately went crazy, who doesn’t love ABBA?

You were dancing around on stage with your friends. The three of you had silently agreed you’d take the last verse and as you sang “‘Cause somewhere in the crowd there’s you” you dramatically scanned the crowd, that is, until your eyes landed on a familiar body in their military uniform ordering a drink at the bar.

You froze, unable to sing. He looked up and caught your eyes and you felt your chest cave in. Shakily you caught up with the lyrics, that seemed all too fitting. “The sight of you will prove to me I’m still alive.”

You finished the rest of the song in a buzzed haze. You couldn’t get yourself to look towards the bar again, not when he of all people were standing there.

The song ended and you helped bring your friends back to your table. When you went to grab your cup, you realized it was nothing but ice.

”Damn,” you muttered under your breath. “I’ll be back.”

It was like you could hear every footstep as you walked towards the bar. He was sitting on the furthest end of it, but with no people in between you, all you could do was hope he didn’t look up.

”I’ll have a sex on the beach please,” you asked the bartender.

”Is that really you?” you heard that voice ask.

Sebastian Sallow turned to face you. He was wearing a tight fitting beige shirt tucked into his camo uniform pants. It looked like he had just gotten back into town that day. He looked older now, worn by years of military work, but God did he look good. His hair was more managed now than it had been before, but he was still clean shaven. He was still your Sebastian under it all.

”Yeah, it’s me,” you replied.

”Put whatever she got on my tab.”

”You don’t have to do that.”

”Yes I do! Sit sit,” he said, eyeing the barstool next to him. Deep down, you knew your friends were too drunk to even notice your absence, and he did just buy you a drink, so you plopped down on the leather stool beside him.

He even smelled the same, like he still used the same cologne he had in high school—sandalwood. You had told him once that you loved the smell… and you still did.

”So how have you been?” He asked.

”Good!,” you replied as the bartender handed you your drink.

”Are you a nurse now?”

”Yeah, actually a labor and delivery nurse. I just got off my shift and came here with some work friends.” You pointed to where your group was seated. They noticed and started waving and giving thumbs up. “Sorry they’re drunk.”

Sebastian chuckled, deeper than he used to. “It’s okay.” He threw back the amber liquid in his glass—beer presumably—and ordered another.

“Did you just get back? From Germany?”

”Yeah today. My uncle and sister picked me up from the airport. She was a mess,” he laughed. “But I needed a beer, doesn’t compare to the pubs there though.”

”I bet not,” you replied. “Did you notice this used to be—“

”Marco’s? Yeah, sad to see it gone.”

”Me too, but this bar is nice. We needed one, I was tired of going to the next town over.”

”Big drinker are you?” He teased.

”Bold of you to assume.”

He laughed a full belly laugh now. You hated that you missed it.

The conversation began to flow nicely now as he made you laugh harder than you had in a long time.

You were still laughing at a joke he made when he cut through the noise. “So… are you single?” He made eyes at you as he tipped back his beer.

Your laughter ceased. “What?”

”I asked if you were single.”

”But why?”

”Becuase that’s how this works,” he started. “We’re having a nice time and I want to know if I can take you on a date.”

”Sebastian…”

”Is that crazy?”

”Yes! Sebastian we can’t.”

”Why not? Are you not single?”

”No I am, it’s just…”

”Just what?”

You grabbed your purse and headed out of the bar. Sebastian quickly paid his tab and watched you as you walked out of the front door.

It had started to rain when you were inside. You were waiting by a lamp post when the rain suddenly stopped.

Sebastian was standing over you with his jacket hovered above your head.

”Tell me why, please. And I’ll leave you alone.”

“Sebastian…” you breathed. “I just… I’ve moved on. We were kids! Young and stupid. But I’ve grown up. You’ve grown up. We’re different people now.”

”Let me get to know this you. The you that sings ABBA like her life depends on it, the girl who orders a sex on the beach like its water. I want to know that girl.”

You looked at him then, water dripping down his face.

”What if she’s not what she seems?”

”I’m sure she won’t be. We all have secrets, I did things I’m not proud of too.”

You breathed in deeply. “I still can’t.”

”But tell me why!”

You hesitated a moment before blurting out, ”you left me!”

”I left you? You still think that’s what happened? After all these years…”

”You did! I was here and you were gone! I watched your taillights disappear and you never came back!”

”I couldn’t come back! You think after you told me you couldn’t marry me, I wanted to leave? There was nothing more I wanted than to quit and stay here with you. But you know it doesn’t work like that! And when you…” His lip began to shake. “And when you told me that we couldn’t talk anymore, that-that killed me. Your letter wrecked me.”

”You didn’t even fight for me!” You yelled.

”Fight for you? You all but told me to piss off and you wanted me to fight for you?”

”Yes!” You cried. “You don’t know how it feels!”

”I don’t know how it feels? You think I don’t know? I was alone for four years! Four miserable years that I wanted nothing more than to spend with you. And I come back here and can still only think of you, so much so I knew I could only find relief in a drink. And this town only has one damn bar! You think pulling in here I didn’t think of you? The last time I was here?”

You thought of the last time too, every time you found yourself walking in that entrance.

”You think I don’t know how it is when I see the only girl I have ever loved up on stage having the time of her life while I’m still stuck in the past? No, you don’t know how it feels.”

”Sebastian, I-I’m sorry.”

”I just… I just missed you and thought that…”

“You know it hasn’t been easy on me either…”

“It sure as hell seems like it.”

“How dare you!? You really think I didn’t want to go with you? And then have to tell you we can’t talk anymore? Sebastian, I wanted to marry you, so badly. But I couldn’t! I had other dreams too, important ones.”

“More important than me?”

“Yes!” It came out before you could stop it. “I mean… not in the way you’re making it out to be. But yes Sebastian you weren’t my only dream, I wanted the life I’m living so badly. I didn’t want to leave here.”

“Not even for me? For us?”

Tears started stinging your eyes. “It’s more complicated than that.”

“I would have given up everything for you!”

“But I would never ask you to do that! I love you too much!”

He stepped back an inch. “You still love me?” He breathed.

“Fuck!” You spat. “Of course I do. I could never stop loving you no matter how hard I tried. You’re under my skin Sebastian, in all the ways a person can be. I could never scrub you out.”

“Then why did you get so mad at me before? All I did was ask if you were single.”

“I’m scared! Okay? Is that what you want to hear? God I can’t do this! We’re already fighting!” You turned to leave, letting the rain soak you.

“I’m not losing you again, especially here. I can’t stand watching you walk away from me. I will love you until my dying breath, and there’s nothing you can do about that okay? You can’t fight your way out of that one.”

You moved to face him again. His jacket was at his side, dripping water. His shirt clung to his toned body and he was breathing heavy, waiting for your response. He looked so beautiful under the warm streetlight, glowing down on him like the sun.

You cried as your shoulders shook with laughter. “God, we’re a mess.”

He began crying, laughter mixed in too, swiping his hand through his sopping hair.

And then you ran right towards him. Every step pattered with rain. You leapt into his arms and he caught you in a spin. The last four years exploded as your lips caught his in a kiss. 

Your mouth moved like a puzzle locking into place against his mouth, like it knew exactly where to go on his lips. His hand trailed into your wet hair and held you against his face as he kissed you back.

“You look as beautiful as the day I left,” he cooed as tears mixed with rain.

You felt your cheeks burn crimson at the compliment as you leaned down to kiss him again.

After a few more moments, he broke the spell. “Let me get you home. Please.”

He set your feet back down on the sidewalk and walked you to his car, all too familiar even in the night.

“You still have it!” You said, referring to his beat up car.

“Sweetheart, I’ve been in Germany for four years, of course I still have it.”

“I just can’t believe it still runs!”

“We’re not that old,” he teased, opening up your car door.

It looked the same on the inside, all leather plush with a black tree freshener dangling from the mirror. 

You gave him directions back to your new place.

He stepped out again even in the down pour and opened your door back up, walking you to your front door like teenagers after a first date.

“Maybe I’ll call you?” He asked. “Is your number the same?”

“Why don’t… why don’t you come in?”

“Are you sure?” He asked, as if he wasn’t dying to come inside.

“Yeah, Seb.” You smiled.

You unlocked your front door with a jiggle of your keys and your dog ran to the door. He was attacking you with licks and wagging his tail when he noticed the stranger behind you.

“Who’s this little guy?” Sebastian asked, leaning a hand down to ruffle his head.”

“This is Buddy, he’s my baby,” you replied.

You walked Sebastian further in to your couch.

“Um, you can sit here while I go change. Do you want a towel or something?”

“Yeah, that would be perfect.”

You exited the room and headed towards your bedroom, padding down the carpeted hallway. You towel dried your hair and changed into pajamas when the nerves started setting in. 

Sebastian was out there sitting on your couch and you could hardly believe it.

You walked back out with a towel in hand to give to him. Your fingers brushed and it sent electricity shooting down your arm. As you sat next to him on the couch, you watched in a daze as he dried off his hair.

“Now you look a mess,” you laughed.

“Speak for yourself,” he quipped.

You got comfortable next to him, pulling your knees underneath yourself to huddle into a ball.

“So, how was Germany?”

“I hate to say it but it was amazing. It’s beautiful. Oh and the food… it’s to die for. I ate schnitzel almost every day for a week when I first arrived. …You would’ve loved it.”

“It sounds amazing, I-I’m sure I would’ve…” you trailed off. “But—“

“I know,” he interrupted. “I know. Your house is nice, and you have a dog!”

“I do! He’s two.”

As if on cue, Buddy jumped onto your lap and started kissing all over your face. You were a giggling mess when Sebastian spoke up again.

“Sweetheart?”

You looked up at him now. He’d called you that several times by now and each time it broke you more than the last. You moved your dog back to the floor who went off to his bed in the corner. “Yeah?”

“I meant what I said earlier. You look so beautiful, exactly as I remember you.”

“Thank you,” you blushed. “You look the same too.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“Very much.”

You moved closer now, almost touching your knee to his. His arm was on the back of the couch and it nearly brushed your shoulder.”

“Did you mean what you said? That you still love me?”

He was illuminated by your lamp in your living room, the warm glow accentuating his freckles. He looked younger almost. It was like you had been taken back four years.

“Y-yes,” you admitted. “I do, but things are still, things are still complicated you know?”

“They don’t have to be. I-I’m not leaving again. I… I decided to join the reserves instead. There’s people here I couldn’t stand being away from again.”

“That doesn’t mean things can just go back to how they were before. We’re different people now.”

“You kissed me out there, in the rain. And you expect me to sit here on your couch, seeing how beautiful you look completely unraveled, and expect me not to want to kiss you again?”

“I—“

“I won’t, you know I won’t unless you want me to. But God I want to kiss you silly,” he whispered as he moved his hand from the couch to your cheek.

You did too, deep down you knew you did. He looked too pretty not to kiss until his lips were swollen. You nuzzled against his warm hand and turned to press a light kiss to his palm.

He visibly swallowed and took in a deep breath at your touch. And then you felt your body gravitating to his like a magnet pull. Nothing could stop you as you leaned in to him. 

“Oh sweetheart,” he murmured right before your lips crash landed on his.

It was a soft kiss at first, unlike the one you shared under the lamp post. It was shy and gentle like you were reexploring each other—as if you’d ever forget what he tasted like.

During the kiss, his other hand fell to your waist, drawing small circles under the hem of your shirt with his thumb. 

You let him pull you onto his lap where you straddled your legs on each side of his hips, digging into your couch as you pressed against his chest with your own.

The kiss turned heavier then, he licked across your bottom lip, begging for entrance and you granted it. No one could kiss you like he does, no one could even come close.

He groaned into your mouth before pulling away and resting his forehead against yours. “I missed you so much. Every night I thought of you, I swear it.”

“Kiss me again,” you pleaded.

It took him all but a second to reconnect his lips to yours. It was deeper, hungrier. His hand slid from your cheek and into your hair, intertwining right at the damp roots. His breath caught in his throat at the contact, the passionateness of your kiss.

“If we don’t stop now, I don’t think I’ll be able to hold myself back from you,” he heaved into your mouth.

“Don’t stop,” you replied and kissed him again.

His lips trailed down your mouth to your jawline, where he left hot, open-mouthed kisses along your skin. He continued trailing down until his lips were pressed against the sensitive spot below your ear—the spot he knew you loved best.

He nipped at it until you lurched on his lap and then he soothed the area with his tongue. He did it over and over again until you were melting like putty in his hands. 

And then he kissed you once more and in one fell swoop, he gathered you up and lifted you off the couch, not removing his lips from yours for a second, as he carried you down the hall into your bedroom.

You ran into the wall a couple of times from the messiness of your kiss, keeping him off balance as he tried to remove his boots at the same time. There was a trail of clothing like a map leading from the living room down the hall.

Your shirt had been discarded in the chaos and once he laid you on your bed, he took you in. His eyes darkened with lust at the sight of you—bra and pajama shorts with messy hair. 

He lifted his shirt off of him, throwing it to the ground before crawling over top of you. He was toned. Where a boy had once stood, was now a man, and the sight made you gulp.

His dog tags tickled your skin as he made out with your chest. His hand massaged your breast over your padded bra, your nipples already sensitive against the cloth. He pulled it down and gasped quietly at the sight. 

His mouth was around your nipples in the next moment, sucking and nibbling at your sensitive bud until you arched into his touch. He used his other hand to twist and pinch your other nub until it hardened beneath his fingertips.

“Fuck,” you cried.

You reached down and could feel his erection pressing against his camo pants, urging to be released. His hand laid over top of yours and held it there as he continued sucking your breast into his wet mouth.

That is, until you squeezed your hand around his clothed cock once and he shuddered, resting his head against your chest to take a breath.

“Baby,” he murmured against your skin.

You did it again, but this time you moved your hand along his shaft. He groaned and huffed a laugh.

The sound of his belt unbuckling filled the air. He stood up and pulled down his boxers and pants all at once.

His cock was rock hard against his thigh as he stood there watching you watch him. It made your core ache. 

“Is this what you wanted?” He asked as he got back onto the bed. 

You nodded your head against your duvet. “Y-yes. Please.”

Your hand was around his cock then, warm and hard to the touch. You could feel as the blood pulsed to his tip, making his veins convulse. Your hand started to move up and down on his length making him moan under his breath.

Your hand was left bare in the next moment as he scooted himself against your headboard. “Come here baby,” he cooed. 

You followed his instructions and sat with your back against his chest and his cock was pressed roughly against your bare back. He slid your panties and shorts down at the same time and pooled them on the edge of your bed.

The coolness in the air brushed lightly against your heat, causing you to shiver. Sebastian brought a hand around from behind you and traced down your belly until he was right where you wanted him—where you needed him.

“Four years sweetheart. Four years I dreamt of his moment and you’re not leaving this bed until you’re screaming my name. I need to hear it,” he purred directly into your ear. It sent a chill down your spine.

His middle finger started tracing your clit—teasingly slow at first. He started to build up more pressure as he toyed with your sensitive bud. His other hand came around you and held gently onto your neck, not choking you but holding you there. You lulled your head back against his shoulder as he built up speed.

“Sebastian…” you moaned against his jaw.

“That’s a start,” he replied.

He inserted his finger into you and it ached around his skin. After a few pumps to ease you into it, he put in his ring finger alongside his middle. It stretched you out as he pushed inside of you until he was knuckles deep.

He curled his fingers inside of you and pumped in and out, setting a delicious pace while hitting your sensitive spot over and over again. You arched your back against his chest as you felt your core race towards a high.

“That’s it baby, I can feel you squeezing my fingers. You’re gonna come for me, aren’t you?”

He used his arm to hold you still against him as he fingered you relentlessly. You tried squirming from the feeling but his hold on you was too tight. 

You moaned out again, nothing coherent as he picked up his pace.

You were a writhing mess, rubbing skin against skin as he held you as close to him as he could. Already you could feel the winding up in your belly.

“Are you gonna come for me?”

You nodded your head against his shoulder.

“ I wanna hear you,” he replied.

“I-I’m gonna come.”

“Oh yeah? I want you to come all over my fingers. Make me a mess.”

His hand on your throat moved slightly as he began trailing his thumb along your bottom lip, playing with the soft pink skin.

The coil wound too tight and you couldn’t handle it anymore. You released with a loud trembling whimper, filling the quiet room around you. Sebastian watched in awe as you came around his digits as he continued pumping in and out of you, draining you until you slouched against him.

Your eyes landed on his as he reached his fingers up to his mouth and swirled them in his mouth before releasing them with a quiet pop.

A groan was laced with his voice as he said, “you taste even better than I remember.”

Your hands were on his cheeks in an instant and pulling him towards your face and in a hasty scramble. He tasted of your own sweet arousal mixed with the hoppy lager he had drank at the bar. 

Keeping your lips on his, you carefully turned around and straddled his lap again, only this time there were no clothes to keep you separated. His cock sprang up and hit your bottom side as you continued kissing him.

Slowly, you started grinding your hips, letting your slit leak all over his cock. 

“Don’t tease me, please,” he begged.

You looked at the way his eyes pleaded with you. His face was washed in blue moonlight beaming in from an opening in your curtains. It cut right across his nose and shone solely on one eye, making the honey in his iris glow.

Your lips brushed along his and you cheekily smiled as you reached down and lined his erection up with your entrance. You sat down gradually, seeing the way his eyes rolled to the back of his head as you became completely seated.

You were breathing into each others’ opened mouths for a few moments to allow each other time to adjust. The headboard was cool against your fingers as you moved one hand back to hold yourself steady. Your hips started to rock back and forth across his lap.

Every back thrust had him hitting your spot sending shockwaves radiating to your core. You felt his calloused hands set themselves on each side of your hips as a gentle guide. He held you sweetly and looked up at you as you grinded on him.

“That’s it baby, just like that,” he breathed. “Use me.”

The room was filled with the sound of skin sliding across skin and heavy breaths, mixed with the soft sounds of the crickets chirping outside.

You gained more confidence and increased your speed. His hands wrapped around your back to keep up with the new pace.

“S-Sebastian, fuck you feel so good,” you whined.

“Yeah baby?”

You nodded your head against his lips.

The next thing you felt was being lifted up as Sebastian turned your bodies around so he was hovering over top of you.

He took your legs and hooked his arms under your knees and began pounding into you, at a whole new depth.

You were a moaning mess and you tried to grab a hold of something—anything. They both clung to the pillows on either side of your head and you gave the delicate material a death grip. 

“How’s that?” He asked as he rammed into you.

“Good, so fucking good.”

Every thrust had his pelvic bone hitting your clit and alongside with how deep he was hitting you, you were speeding towards another orgasm. 

The euphoric feeling made your toes curl and your fingers tighten even harder around your pillows. 

“You’re so tight, it’s like you were made for me,” he murmured. 

Your hands released the pillows and found their way to his shoulders where you pulled him even closer down to you. As he drilled into you, your nails created moon-shaped divots in his back.

“That’s it sweetheart, mark me.”

His thrusts were starting to become erratic, so you knew he was getting close. And the way you were pulsing around him, you were about to fall apart at the seams.

“Sebastian, I’m so close!”

“Say my name again, louder,” groaned.

“Sebastian!” 

You felt your body vibrate around him, sending ripples down your skin. It was electrifying, making your fingers and toes go numb. You closed your eyes and saw stars like fireworks going off behind your lids.

Sebastian grunted and stilled inside of you as he released himself all over your inner walls, painting everything white. 

As he started to pull out you stopped him. 

“What’s the matter?” He turned his head to glance down at you.

“What if you just… what if you just stayed inside?” You asked shyly.

He smirked and breathed out a small chuckle. “Anything for you my love.”

He laid beside you, spooning you from behind with his cock still buried deep inside of you. You missed his warmth and you weren’t about to let him go that easily.

He pressed light kisses across your bare shoulder blades. “I never thought I’d have this again,” he sighed. “Now I’m never letting you go.”

“Yes—I won the fucking bet. Girl, we won!”

Your eyes flinched a little at the rush and adrenaline push Nellie motioned at you. Of course, she did. You were all from England.

“I knew Weasley wouldn’t let us down since grade seven! I bloody knew he would ace it til’ the end professionally and give us the cup!” Prewett jolted behind you.

Weasley. Garreth Weasley.

Right. The quick, temporary distraction you outdid yourself with a few years back. Right before he made it to professional football.

The cute little distraction from attempting to move on from your ex, Sebastian Sallow.

The opponent tonight.

A dry breath emitted out of you, your eyes darting to the red head from afar in the stadium, attempting to try to find a focus on his popularity.

Garreth flashed a smile, tilting his head, and jogged backward, almost nearing your specific group of the crowd wanting to greet his old school friends for support.

The crowd roared again as he neared.

Sweaty and all, the England jersey slid off him, but despite the privilege of being with him in the past — your attention was elsewhere.

You were studying the opposing team in the field. 

A specific player you'd spotted since the beginning, but attempted to ignore.  

The tinted blue and white fabric bled through the sweat across his chest and shoulders, molding every sharp line from him without trying as he breathed harder than usual from the yells of the loss.

The long sleeves of his shirt were pushed tight and muddy around the biceps — fuck, you couldn’t remember them being this toned during your time together. Were they always?

No, what the hell were you doing?

You two were over. Five years ago.

Sebastian Sallow could feel the mocking numbers of the final score watching him. He could hear the unnecessary commentary over the post-match results.

The fuck-ass crowd from afar cheering over his school rival.

He’d known that the entire game with Weasley was going to be another bit of arrogance between the two enemies, but now it was in the world’s biggest game.

And unfortunately, he lost this time.

He dragged his tongue along the inside of his cheek, trying to swallow the bitter annoyance he had over the cheering crowd from afar, but as he attempted to set his shoulders and shake the sweaty brown tousles from his forehead, he paused.

There you were.

At first, he thought his mind had made you up for comfort.

No. You were right there, surrounded by red and white, getting swallowed by the very same crowd cheering against him.

Sebastian’s jaw tightened, and he had to look away.

He had to seriously look away because you hadn’t changed. If anything, you had only gotten older and prettier.

Everyone knew that. He knew that.

But you were not his girlfriend anymore. He made sure of that five years ago, hadn’t he? He stood there with pride and cruelty to let you walk away like a coward he was because he was afraid of committing.

But seeing you stand amongst those god damn England supporters. Shit, it made something so possessive and wounded twist beneath his ribs.

The view on your end was tough.

Yet, despite the break-up — getting one unusual glare from him after so many years. Even within thousands in the crowd and him looking at the wrong one, from all directions, he had the power to find you.

You. As he always did. Just you.

With an attempt to snap out of the six-foot player from afar, you witnessed how minutes flew enough over that time slipped.

The famous Weasley player said goodbye to your friend group and jogged back to the field for a fair farewell to their rivals.

In an attempt to follow the rest of the other random players in the field while following the game commentary, you failed completely.

You followed the two main players you knew in the past.

You watched Garreth Weasley track easily back to the grass, breathless from the match as he walked with a victory confidence, clapping his teammates for a bit before turning to the Scotland team.

A few handshakes and what-so — then you felt the pit of your stomach create a void as you watched Garreth reach Sebastian.

Sebastian attempted to keep his facial expressions muted. He always had a hard time hiding his intentions, but despite a stupid, humiliating loss, he tried to be respectful to his rival.

“Tsk, Sallow surely took a damn loss!” Someone from behind you said. It must’ve been the men again.

“—course’ he did. Finally karma from jabbing all our fucking matches at Hogwarts. He finally needs to feel the loss!”

You bit the inside of your lip, also watching the players.

Weasley leaned into Sallow with a tighter handshake, just enough to throw Sebastian into him and spill some words that were specifically just for him.

Sebastian’s body went still, and a smugness seemed to appear on Garreth as he walked away.

Hell, you didn’t have time to form a proper thought at all.

One second, the Scotland player was standing there with a tense and exhausted look, and then the next, his jaw clenched toward Weasley. His shoulder had risen with a heavy breath as he ticked.

He mouthed something at Weasley.

You had known that look on him.

That enraged wrath on him, the tension on his large shoulders and the way he squinted those brown eyes you’d known him for.

Sebastian Sallow was pissed off.

Sebastian threw the first shoulder shove at Garreth immediately.

Oh no. You thought to yourself.

Oh no, because that’s what you knew about Sallow. He was impulsive and didn’t think twice about his actions before doing them.

A low gasp left your mouth as both players strut back on themselves. That smug Weasley held on himself vanished, and there was a sudden roar from news outlets, catching the fight-to-be.

“Holy—“

“Did Sallow just launch—“

Your hearing went hazy.

You watched as three players held back Sebastian from a swing while Garreth ran backward, almost a trace of fear in him before shaking his head.

Sebastian’s mouth moved quickly, angrily, and whatever he had told the other player was lost beneath your gap of listening, but you didn’t have to listen.

Your heart hammered as Sebastian’s gaze suddenly snapped upward, cutting through everyone’s dramatic yells, and looked at you for a second.

Just a second.

It’d been you. The reason had been you.

If you’d known Garreth enough from school and Sebastian from heart — it was something said about you.

As you correlated the thoughts, you saw how Sebastian shoved an arm at his teammate from his shoulder and left the football field in a rush, avoiding any more conflict and media attention. He was isolating.

Both crowds tried to swallow him in. The coach, attempting a pep-talk, denied. His team attempting a photo, denied. He just walked without looking at anyone, disappearing into the shadowed stage leading backstage.

You’d been frozen.

The freshly made manicure nearly chipped out of your nail beds from how bad you fidgeted over what had just happened.

Your friends and old classmates celebrated, already planning about the next bar stop after the game, but you were on a different path now.

The lanyard hanging around your neck began to tickle you.

No — no, don’t do it.

You looked down.

GUEST ACCESS.

It’d been from connections.

You should’ve stayed where you were.

It’d been five years.

You should’ve waited for the rest of the players to take photos and celebrate.

Five years.

Your breaths echoed over your ears as you found yourself in the deeper parts beneath the stadium. The tunnels leading to exclusive access were colder than you’d expect, making you shiver a little — but had it really been the cold or the nerves on the most likely mistake you were making?

Security stood there in the deeper backrooms with black earpieces and expressionless faces, but one glance at your pass and they ignored your intentions.

You walked through those private halls right before other players could crowd in, and all those privileged nepotism people could come backstage to meet the players.

Where are you?

You’d been sure you were on the opposite team’s side now because somewhere nearby, a Scottish player laughed too loudly at seeing your tight red and white shirt representing England.

“Fuckin’ hell, aye, what’s the competitor doing here? ,” He said. “Yer’ in the wrong area, darling.”

But you walked faster, your breath weighing harder as you walked the halls, ignoring the scent of sweat and polished floors.

At the same time, a roughed-up player had appeared right before you made a sharp, desperate turn in the corridor.

Sebastian Sallow was paced to lock himself in his stupid, claustrophobic dressing room until a cab took him back to his hotel — to destress and block out everything from the media and his pestering managers.

And surely, block you out of his damn mind.

The moment he heard his teammate chuckle out the comment, Sebastian took a brief pause and looked over his shoulder, seeing you right there below him. 

This gave you the proper chance to take a good look at his face after so many years, up close and personal.

His face was flushed from the match. Those soft, dampened hairs were still stuck on his forehead, sweat still dripping from his freckles. And he was breathing extremely hard, so that you nearly felt it. It was obvious his breaths were from annoyance as the Scotland jersey on him moved with each take.

Sebastian Sallow was everything but calm right now.

For a moment, he only stared at you.

He debated whether to be shocked or annoyed, as if he had expected hundreds of people to follow him in the private halls — reporters, teammates. Soon they would.

He expected anyone, but you,

Holy shit, it was you.

He tried to take you in for a few seconds, attempting to remember and take you at the same time.

He looked at your hair, your face. He looked at the shape of your mouth. He noticed right away the nervous way your freshly made nails were chipping as you gripped your lanyard for some sort of fidgeted latch. 

“What are you doing here?” He asked harshly.

You suddenly became too aware, because what were you doing there?

You’d flush enough now. You couldn’t even blame the match; you weren’t a player — you were just fucking lost. What were you thinking?

“I—“ You were lost. You couldn’t even look at him in the eyes. “I don’t know—maybe, I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

A humorless laugh slipped from him, and he looked to the side.

Those sharpened freckles.

“Alright?”

Yeah, he wasn’t.

“I just lost the finals in the World Cup against England, nearly put my hands on a player, and walked away from every camera in sight like a coward.” Sebastian spat.

You blinked rapidly. “I—I know—“

His shoulders were tense. And big.

That football endurance surely did its job.

Beneath it all, though. Beneath this layer of popularity and strength he gained, he looked demolished. Failed.

You hated that you noticed it right away.

You both were still, in awe and confusion about what the fuck you were both doing. After years — this was your first meeting. Your first glance and confrontation.

The breakup was messy. No proper farewells.

In a short breath, he attempted to whisper your name, but it completely got towered over muffled chaos from afar.

From a distance, you and Sebastian began to hear voices between the halls. The corridors began to vibrate with loud screams and reporters.

Sebastian’s eyes flicked past your shoulder, noticing the chaos, and he whispered a quick ‘fuck’ to himself.

Before you could turn yourself to what he saw, you felt a hand close around your wrist, tight enough to steal the breath from your lungs as you were launched into the nearest unlocked door beside you guys.

“What—“

Pulling you inside with him, Sebastian closed the door, locking it and taking a deep breath as his eyes closed.

The room was open and slightly dimmed.

It’d been the players’ infirmary.

There was a clinical smell hitting you at once, right away. A few ice packs abandoned on the garbage can, bottles of healing solution, and a large bed where injured players lay.

You pressed your back against the counter behind you across the room, trying to put some sort of space between you and Sebastian at the door, but the room was small and chilly.

All you saw between your loud breaths of recovery was Sebastian’s broad back blocking most of the door, his body also rising in and out from the chaos.

“You shouldn’t be here.” Sebastian spoke without a glance.

Your throat clenched a little and your cheeks warmed. “I—“

“Isn’t there another team you should be pressing in at?” He now asked you sharply.

“What?” You were oblivious. Stupid.

Sebastian scoffed, finally looking over his shoulder. His large hands finally removed from the doorknob, and his body twisted around. The weight of his back leaned against the exit while he crossed his arms and looked down at you from afar.

His brown eyes weren’t directly at you, but at the tight shirt you wore: England’s.

You swallowed, not even feeding into it. It’d been your team. You were surely from—

“You were born in Scotland.”

Right, he knew everything about you.

“I lived in England most of my life—“

“Right.” He chuckled.

You frowned. “I’m allowed to rule for any team.”

“Yeah, from where I stood in that field, it looked like you knew exactly where you belonged.

Your eyes squinted a little as you stared at him in offense. A small reminder why the relationship before was a rollercoaster — his honesty.

Sebastian seems to realize it too, because his expression shone immediately and his jealousy turned to shame. “Nobody lets down their partner.”

Now your eyes widened more. “What?”

His gaze followed yours. “What? Again,” he paused and took a breath, almost like he knew he was going to regret asking this. “What are you doing here?”

A question you couldn’t answer yourself.

“You’re Weasley’s.”

“What? No. I wasn’t even cheering for him in that game!” You defended yourself. “I’m not with Weasley's.”

He snickered. “No?”

“No!”

There it was.

The uncontrolled power Sebastian Sallow held over you that nobody else had the strength to have: drive you nuts. Quickly.

Silence was kept between you two as the outside of the infirmary filled with voices here and there.

You swallowed, finally gathering why you were there in the first place. “What did he tell you?”

Sebastian’s eyes stared at you but didn’t raise his head. All you saw was a wolf-like stare as he tried to understand your intention.

Once he realized, he looked to the side with his arms still crossed. “Doesn’t matter.”

Your hands removed from the grid of the counter behind you, and your body straightened. “It does matter.”

“It doesn’t. Just drop it—“

“No.” You argued. “Sebastian, what did he say? You made an entire scene.”

He laughed under his breath, his annoyance crawling back to him as he shook his head as if the memory of it disgusted him. “He was just being Weasley. You already know that—“

“That’s not an answer.” You pushed. “What did he say?”

Sebastian’s nose flared as he finally uncrossed his arms and returned his frown. He stopped looking at you now.

“That he took the World Cup just like,” He didn’t even want to say it. It was stupid. “—just like he took a woman--you. From me.”

Your stomach twisted a little, but you attempted to stay calm.

Sebastian looked down at you, also trying to read your reaction through it as he looked down at your stupid shirt. Those England colors—fuck, he just wanted to rip it and—

“I’m not Weasley’s.” Your voice cracked from the nerves.

“You dated him.”

“Five years ago, after you and I broke up.”

His jaw flexed.

“Or, as when you left me,” You corrected.

That hit both of you.

Sebastian’s expression shifted, and he finally uncrossed his arms as he shifted a hand over his dampened hair in stress. “I didn’t just leave you—“

“You did.” You let out a bitter laugh. “Walking away and never talking to me again is leaving, Sallow.”

His eyes cut back. “It was a difficult time.”

“No. You just didn’t know how to balance football and a relationship at the same time, so you choose—“

“I had scarce time for you. We knew that at the end,” Sebastian defended. “You were getting mad all the fucking time, and it was only going to get worse once I signed contracts and left.”

“I would’ve left with you!” You raised your voice a little. “But you wanted this stupid egoistic football player life of traveling everywhere and fucking every woman that wanted you—“

“That’s not true.”

“Do you not read the media—?!”

“PR is a joke. Nothing you see in the media is real.” Sebastian shot back. “And you weren’t far behind either. The moment I left for Scotland’s training, I got word you were already with Weasley.”

You gasped in offense. “That’s not what happened!”

“It’s exactly what happened. You just moved on—“

“You stopped reaching out!” “I was at camp!” Sebastian raised in frustration, letting out all the words he couldn’t say in the past.

“And I didn’t get with Garreth the moment you left.” You frowned. “He was just there.”

Sebastian’s freckles felt like they were flaring from his redness. “Is’dat suppose to make me feel better after this match?”

“No, it’s supposed to make you understand.” You fixed.

Still, outside the infirmary were voices, but they were non-existent between the two of you right now. That entire stadium felt distant compared to the weight you both held right now after five years of no contact.

“I reached out once after training in Scotland, and you never answered.” Sebastian admitted.

“Of course I didn’t. I had to switch phones to avoid looking at your contact for months—“ “And you sure did a good job a while after when that picture of you wearing his jacket came out—“

“What?” You scoffed. “I was eighteen, and it was raining that day!”

Sebastian now felt jealous.

All those feelings he had bottled up were now blooming in the worst way possible — especially now. Especially after he had lost.

His team had fucking lost thanks to him. His temper was off. Then Weasley standing on that field and smiling like everything Sebastian had loved could be won over — oh, he was tense.

“It’s fine.” He lied like a prick. Like something was rotting in his honesty. “I left, and he stayed for a bit longer. I’m sure he gave you the sex of your life just to use it against me—“

“What the hell?” You scoffed.

He laughed once under his breath, and that drove you insane. You were both bitter and petty — but the relationship was so good. And the sex was so fucking good with only him.

You glanced up at Sebastian Sallow again, between the anger and annoyance that you felt now. It’s like his feelings were projected onto you now.

You hated how much you noticed, too.

The way the sweat began to dry along his roughed skin. The bruise on his cheekbone reddened from the match. The unnecessary, stupid tight jersey that had clung to his body.

He was exhausted and angry, but still painfully beautiful as you last remembered him.

You stared at him a bit longer with your face hot and your throat tight.

Then, you moved before you could even stop yourself. You acted without thinking, just like him.

Your fist reached his chest because you couldn’t reach much more. He was too damn tall — and you pounded lightly to take his words back.

“Take it back,” You pushed.

Sebastian barely moved. At all.

His eyes stayed fixed on yours, dark and amused beneath the brown hairs poking him.

“Take. It. Back. Sebastian—!” You shouted in offense.

“No.” He clicked bluntly.

“No, because it’s the truth,” Sebastian said roughly, attempting to talk normally as you pushed.

“It’s not.”

“It’s the truth. It was enough for him to use it against me.” He said. “Because that was the entire plan since Hogwarts. To fucking bother me.”

You froze.

“And the most humiliating thing is that you knew.” He frowned at you.

“What?” You asked.

“You saw him tonight. You saw him lean in and tell me something, despite not hearing, and you immediately knew it was something about you.”

Your hands were still flat on his chest as you tried to argue back, but it was difficult.

Sebastian looked down at you for half a second before lifting his gaze again at the blank wall. “You’d always been self-aware enough to understand the power you held between me and any man who wanted you, so don’t act oblivious.” He said harshly.

Your hands dropped now, and you were muted for once, reflecting on his words.

“You’re upset.” You gathered. “You wouldn’t be so mean to me right now if—“

“Of course, I’m upset!” Sebastian now raised his voice. He now paced around the infirmary room, going around you on the opposite side. “Because I didn’t just fucking lose the World Cup tonight! It felt like I was losing my career and losing you all over again.”

Your breathing stopped for a moment.

One thing for sure, he was honest.

You turned again. His back was to you now again, his hands clenched over the counter you once clenched in too.

It’s like he was regretting what he said.

“Of course I feel like absolute shit right now.” He shouted again, but in frustration with himself.

Your eyes soften now. You felt the weight inside of you lift, and now, despite yourself and the entire night — you understood too.

“Sebastian…” You said softly.

“No.” He clicked his tongue. “Don’t soften your voice now. Don’t pity me.”

“I don’t pity you.” You lied. “Or feel sorry.”

Sebastian closed his eyes. You were playing rough, too. “Then what?”

“I just,” You blinked fast and thought. “I just know you.”

That soothed Sebastian just for a bit.

He finally turned around from fighting with the unnecessary counter edges and looked at you.

For the first time since this tragic anger consumed him, he looked like Sebastian — like the boy you met. Not the famous footballer who was so dull and cold.

There’d been a forced pull on you. No, he didn’t grab you or did anything on his part. It was you. You felt yourself walk forward to meet him in the middle of the room and just take him in for once.

He looked so tired and fucked from so much football and insults.

The man needed to de-stress. Immediately.

For years.

You let out a shaky breath, pretending like the fluorescent lights above him weren’t making the tint of honey breath in his eyes glow more than usual.

“Weasley never fucked me,” You whispered in honesty.

Sebastian looked at you with a small tilt.

You were ashamed for a bit, but you wanted to debunk his stupid assumptions. “I was too heartbroken to have sex with anyone. I only kissed him once, and I didn’t like it—“

There was a small breath from his nose that came out of him from the ‘kiss’ part, and you clicked your tongue. “My gosh, Sallow! You are never freaking satisfied with anything—“

“You knew I didn’t like him, and he didn’t like me since we got together!” Sebastian reminded.

You sighed.

“And I know I left. I know I chose football and all of that.” He said bitterly. “But it doesn’t make it easier knowing how much control he has over it against me.”

“It was one kiss.” You confirmed.

“One of too fucking many.”

“Sebastian—“

“What?” He said, annoyed. “You want me to lie like him? You want me to stand here and tell you I’ve matured enough to hear that Weasley is still using my vulnerable sides to stab me in public?”

You stared at him a little longer.

He looked away, dragging his fingers over his mouth and chin, looking more frustrated with himself than with you. He had no reason to be mad at you, but he was.

“Then seeing you stand in those fucking crowds and going for the opposite team with that rubbish,” his fingers clenched as he pointed at your shirt again. “—shirt.” His teeth clenched.

You swallowed, seeing the closeness he was giving now — too much. Even the finger pointing was enough to make you take a heavier breath and rethink the actions on why you felt a fluttering sensation in his presence now.

No, not now. You’d felt it all game, but you were too much of a coward to admit it.

“Are you mad about that?” You asked.

Sebastian looked at you intensely. He was holding back too. A lot. “I’m mad at everything.”

You caught your breath as he stepped closer, but even that small movement had been a mistake.

It was almost stubborn for Sebastian Sallow to catch himself staring at not only the wrong shirt you wore, but also at the way that your breasts sat so tightly under that fabric. The thin fabric. He’d remember them. The shape of them. The perfect outline on his hands — and he sure damn well knew they were fighting for themselves to get out of that lame fabric.

He flexed without saying anything, but he scrunched his nose. “I’ve had it with tonight.”

You swallowed. “Sebastian—“

Violently, you felt fingers slip into the back of your hairs as your body was pulled forward to him and your lips were detained by the feel of someone else’s.

Sebastian kissed you, and not gently.

It was messy. Sloppy. You were able to feel the longing and collision you two had yearned for the last few years. The tension of stress one held more than the other.

And damn, how stressed he was.

His lips pressed to yours with roughness, enough to feel the tickles of his brown curls over your nose as both of your bodies neared back against the exit door again.

Your tongue tasted the bitter saltiness from the sweat and saliva that bled from him all day, but you never cared. All you really paid attention to was how fucking well he kissed you. Only he knew the spot and pace of the kisses and...

A loud thump echoed, and the kiss broke for a few seconds.

It gave you enough time to catch a breath and place one hand over his chest flatly again — his heartbeat was far beyond what you expected.

“You need to get out of here,” Sebastian whispered harshly. “Or I won’t be able to stop.”

“Then don’t.”

That was the fair light to give him. The consent to let him ruin you like in the past — all he needed was reassurance before demolishing you completely.

Sebastian didn’t hesitate twice before pressing his mouth against yours, but finding an opening with his tongue on yours. Both of your mouths syncing into one against that door.

Your fingers dug into his hair, finally getting the advantage of feeling the damp softness of it again. To tug it harshly as his large body pressed against you on that door as if you were a famous portrait.

A hand stood digging into your hair while the other crawled down your shoulders into your sides as a soft whimper escaped you from his tickling touch.

Without warning, you felt Sebastian’s fingers grip the team jersey you wore and tug it aggressively — pulling it so fucking hard to the point where it pinched your skin once before the fabric completely ripped off you like a line upward.

The kiss broke, and you gasped down, watching the team shirt rip apart away from the stomach lining up to your breasts, making them lash out inappropriately. “Sebastian—“

“Take—“ He kept opening it harshly until there was no fabric left on you. “—it,” he grunted between the kisses. "--off." 

Your breaths lingered as you both looked down at your naked chest, your face in heat while taking in what you two were up to.

Nothing had changed.

Sebastian’s index fingers trailed from your open collarbones, tracing them down onto the middle of your chest where your heart was before using his large hand to cup one breast and giving out a short grunt from the touch.

“…Fuck,” he couldn’t even hold it in, admiring you once again.

Again, his lips went to kiss yours and then trailed down into your neck like a vampire, burying his sloppy bites into it while his hands massaged your breasts.

“I,” he breathed. “—missed this.”

Impulsively, your hand reached down between the neck kisses, training down over his jersey, and shoving your hand beneath it.

Your fingers could only take so much on tracing the sticky warmth of his toned body beneath the jersey before they charted down the tight sports pants; a finger pulling the strings of the Adidas pants and shoving into the V-line and feeling the flesh of his hardness for the first time again.

“Shiii—“ Sebastian could barely attempt to finish his sentence from feeling your hands touch the base of his cock.

You gasp, feeling how aroused he’d been and how much pre-cum had been ejected off him in a short time.

Your hands pumped up and down motions over the inches of himself while he attempted to keep you pinned against that door, but it became difficult.

He held in so much.

Your back suddenly lifted, and it was in seconds when you felt your body bump against the edge of the infirmary bed, making the bed make a loud noise from the throw.

Neither of you cared.

Without wasting any time, Sebastian’s hands came in contact with the skirt you wore for the day, cuffing another finger on the stretchy part of your underwear and sliding them off fleetly off your body at the same time.

“Sebastian-!” You attempted to warn his pace, but he was in no judgement.

He could devour you and destroy you with great pleasure.

Sebastian bent down over the small bed, his knees on the polished floor, not caring at all, and cuffed your legs like nothing.

“Sebastian.” You panicked. “Are you sure—oh, hell!”

Your head threw itself back when Sebastian’s tongue disastrously entered the entrance of your body without fair warning, making your lower hips bend in an arch to swallow in the extreme arousal you hadn’t felt in a while.

His tongue first devoured you like a tragic kiss, making out with the sensitive parts of your body like it was the last time — his mouth shifting from kisses on your inner thighs before shoving back into you with intent.

It’d been so messy that one of your hands had to grip the sheets of the bed while the other tangled into Sebastian’s hair for some sort of grip.

“Ugh—“ Your eyes were closed, barely getting a sighting of how his eyes had gone soft in certain intervals as you moaned out.

With a loud puckering noise, “Oh, the amount of nights--I ached for this, baby,” he huffed. “You’ve been so good,” he suddenly inserted one of his fingers inside of you slowly, making you close your thighs. “—open,”

Whimpers hid under you, not wanting to be loud. 

There were possible crowds outside this stupid little room, yet Sebastian Sallow was doing his best to outdo both of you.

“Hmm! It’s so,” You tried to speak, but he inserted another finger while lifting himself over you, as he used his strong hand to open your thighs again. “Open.” It was hard to maintain a peace when the tall, sweaty football player that you thought you’d lost forever was hovering over you and fucking you with his fingers, with eye contact now.

Again, he bent down once your legs were open and then while his fingers pumped inside of you, his mouth came back into a gentle contact above his fingers, kissing your entrance and hip bones.

“Oh, fuck,” You cried out.

“Good,” he went further in with a finger slip inside of you, and you bent your back. “—girl,” he praised.

It’d been too much for you.

He’d only gotten taller, and his voice had gotten rougher throughout the five-year gap. It was highly impossible not to let out a short orgasm over the stimulation and pretty face between your legs.

You became a maniac over him.

As you saw stars, Sebastian seemed a bit more resistant to himself, but still, there was a small tense unfinished stress inside of him he needed to let out.

You saw it in him.

Catching a breath, you attempted to balance yourself up with your elbows on the bed while looking at him.

He still stood over your open legs, but held back a little, discontinuing his oral sex. “You’re so damn pretty.”

You could barely see him from the sweat in your eyes, and you didn’t know whether to laugh as he scanned your naked body.

“What am I going to do with you?” He said in a pleading tone, not believing this was real.

“Whatever you want, Sallow,” You reminded him in breaths. “I’m yours. Just yours.”

“Fuck,” He huffed out.

The boner over his pants printed over you. You saw the struggle it was having inside there, and you took a breath, watching it so perfectly.

“What do you want, Sebastian?” You asked.

“I want to make you a mess,” He said without lies. “I want to devour the heck out of you right now. I want to—”

“Then what's stopping you?” You warned.

He chuckled. “Dangerous words to tell an exhausted football player, darling.”

You swallowed.

“I don’t have a condom.” He said in confusion.

“When has that ever stopped us in the past?” You asked.

Sebastian’s eyes nearly sparkled at the remembrance — you were reckless teenagers, but never failed a good pull-out. Ever.

“Never.” Sebastian whispered before he took it in at the confirmation and gripped one of your ankles heavily, using it as a lever to pull you back to the edge of the bed.

A squirm came out of your mouth when your body got twisted around, and now your back was facing Sebastian. You didn’t even have time to think before you felt his hand pushed flatly on your back and made you incline.

The motions had been loud enough that you didn’t even hear when his pants were off.

It was only within seconds that you heard him spit on his hand and then position himself behind you.

“Oh,” 

Sebastian had barely inched in the base of himself on your entrance before closing his eyes and looking at the ceiling from the sensation until he stretched you out slowly.

“Oh. My,” Your fingers gripped the sheets as your cheek pressed on the bed from the entrance. “—Hm,”

Once every inch of Sebastian Sallow was inside of you - once that man made sure every single part of him was in you and that you could take it, he didn’t hold back.

He slid out of you once slowly and then, it was never slow again after — he rammed into you like no tomorrow and never stopped.

“Sebastian,” You gasped from the roughness behind you.

Sebastian plunged inside of you with a pounding sensation, his fingers gripping the sides of your love handles perfectly as a lever to destroy you fully.

The room echoed with sex and moans as Sebastian made sure you felt every single year you’d miss from this — to feel all that jealousy and stress that’d been bothering him tonight. To feel that love.

And it felt so good.

A handle removed from your hips and clamped under your chin. His fingers hooked around your entire neck and pulling you upward in the air to feel the back of your head rest on his shoulders.

A moan escaped you as this view made you look at Sebastian better. Him fucking you from the back while your head stayed on his shoulder to view his side.

One of your hands raised, caging on the back of his head again and using it as a balance so you won’t fall forward as he kept pushing it so hard.

“Oh,” Sebastian’s breaths lingered on yours from how close you were again. “You’re so wet.”

You clenched on him from the opening. “Yes—yes, I am—for you—“

His finger reached down your belly button and down in between your legs, creating circular motions to stimulate you again. “Fuck, baby,”

You moaned at the name call. “Seb—“

Your words weren’t finished.

Sebastian suddenly threw your body down, and before you could turn fully, you felt his fingers twisted around your hair. He kept the twirling motions until all of your hair was gathered on his hand before pulling it back and fucking you hard.

From this angle and force, you felt the base of him nearly at your cervix, enough to make you whimper a little from the pleasurable pain.

“Oh, yes,”

Sebastian had reached a state of being out of control. He was letting it all out without measuring his pace or angles — he did what he had to do to enjoy it.

“That’s it, baby—“

There was a sudden knock on the door, making you gasp out loud from the noise, but Sebastian didn’t stop, making you freak out.

“Hey—“

“They can’t really hear us in these rooms,” He paced, “Unless you scream loudly.” He whispered.

You breathed.

“So,” He leaned down a little to speak to you from behind. “Tell them,” he shoved back into you. “It’s occupied.”

You were flushed. “B-But you’re—inside me—“

“Tell them." He slammed. "It’s occupied.” He shoved deeper. “This player,” he groaned. “—is in recovery.”

“Hmm!” You whimpered.

Again, there was a knock.

“It’s,” You tried to yell, but Sebastian was being diabolical.

“Louder.”

“IT’S OCCUPIED!” You called out loudly before falling back into the bed with a stinging cock inside of you.

“Oh, okay! Apologies.” You heard from outside. “Let’s use the other infirmary then!”

You took a breath as people left.

“You’re such a good girl, aren’t you?” Sebastian praised.

Your eyes closed from the pleasurable compliment, and your ass perked up more on him as he said that.

But Sebastian’s didn’t accept it just yet.

As much as he wanted to spill inside of you even though he shouldn’t — he couldn’t do it like this. Not in this position.

Again, you felt his strong hands turn you around aggressively, using the pillow behind you to adjust it and then lay your head on it.

He then finally slid the Scotland jersey off himself — getting the opportunity to finally take a clear view of his adulting body.

The small toned shadows, the scars left behind from old matches, and the little chest hairs that barely peeked.

It was a perfect view of each other now.

Sebastian looked down at you before taking you in and kissing you passionately now — just for a minute.

He grabbed both of your legs, placing them alongside his shoulders before looking down and using himself to slip inside of you one last time easily.

Your eyes closed from this angle, feeling your toes curl around the back of his neck just a little as he went in slow and hard. Slow and hard. Slow and so fucking hard.

“Oh,” He whispered between the messy saliva. “I—missed this—“ he pounded inside of you. “I miss—you.” He clenched.

Your fingers grasped his hairs, and the other caressed the bruise on his cheekbone as you admired and were also aroused at the same time. “I missed you—too.”

With every stroke, Sebastian’s strength on you became harder and heavier. With every thrust, you felt a pulsing sensation in your guts, ready for them to be spilled from how perfectly angled he hugged into you.

“You’re, so, so deep.” You breathed.

His strokes were sloppy.

It was insane to think how soundproof the infirmaries really were.

“And I wanna be deeper.” He groaned.

“Do—do it,” You begged.

Sebastian whimpered at your go, his hands grabbing the handles of the low-budget medical bed and twisting his fingers around the poles to pound the fuck out of you.

It was so warm and wet.

How could it have been highly impossible for this sensation to go away so soon if he had to pull out —

“I’m going to cum—“

“No, I’m going to cum too,” You pleaded from the stimulation.

You felt his entire cock start to harden inside of you, making the sex start to intensify to the climax.

His brown eyes finally found yours, and you could see the softness of them. That, despite how stupidly aggressive he’d been — there was devotion in them.

“Let it go,” You whispered softly at him.

Sebastian’s eyes looked at you, feeling territorial as ever. “Let me cum inside of you.”

Your brows furrowed. “I’m not on birth control—“

“Let’s get the--morning pill,” He pleaded with soft whispers. “Or not, I know you hate them—“

“No, I—“

“Let me take care of you,” Sebastian said aggressively. “You're the only woman I'll ever want to bear my children." He spoke so sweetly in such a deep sex. "I’ll take care of both of you—“

“Sebastian,” You sweated at his motions.

But it was something to discuss after.

Right now, you both need to be done.

You nodded. It just felt too good to release anywhere else right now. The angle, the breaths, the orgasms — the consequences could be dealt with later.

Now, you wanted it as much as him. 

Sebastian took in one last curve while you felt yourself twist at the same time, arching your entire body and letting out another loud moan for the night.

“Fuckkkk,” Sebastian moaned out loudly, a few grunts and whimpers dimming out of him as he spilled himself deeply into you. “You’re — mine.”

You nodded within moans. “I am.” 

The medical room was echoed with heavy post-sex breaths and bodies.

It all suddenly felt too hot.

You could smell the natural scent of sweat and faded cologne off Sebastian Sallow. Something that you’d oddly missed losing yourself to.

An embarrassing pop sounded once Sebastian slid out of your body, and instead of standing up, you watched him between the blurs of your sweaty vision.

His biceps twisted perfectly as he bent to the floor and took a catch for his famously known jersey.

“Arms up,” He ordered you.

You furrowed. “What—“

“You were shivering out there.” He pointed out. “Arms. Up.”

You obeyed, letting the oversized long-sleeve jersey slide on your naked body. “Sebastian, I can’t go out like this.” You looked down at yourself.

A chuckle escaped the exhausted man. “Who said anything about getting out of here?”

This brought you back to your senses.

Sebastian stood up, all naked. You could see his cock jump a little, and God, you had to look away to not want more again.

“There’s an endless crowd outside this room,” Sebastian informed. “And you’re not leaving anywhere anymore, sweetheart.”

This made you stare up, your fingers clinging into his jersey while pretending like his spill wasn’t sliding between your legs.

“We’d have to wait until everyone is gone.” He reached down to the bed toward you, placing a hand on each of your sides and caging you as his eyes prayed into yours. “Which means we’re not finished yet.”

You blinked.

“My stamina is high after this loss.” He frowned. “And we have rounds to own up to while we wait here, darling—so, sit tight. It’s only our first round.”

And you knew he was being serious.

“Because I lost the World Cup, but I sure won,” He kissed your forehead. “—the woman. Which is way fucking better.