Alegas - My real life

I've been extremely cold lately, only now remembered not eating will do that to you

I had forgotten how sick I feel when eating only one time a day. I need the nutrition for work, but I can’t seem to get a whole meal down...

I can lose 10kg and still ha a normal BMI. That’s depressing.

The one thing I was proud of myself for (my grades) are gone now, as my younger sister proved once again that she is smarter than me

I am sick. I know I'm sick. Usually, I don't notice it: days seem normal, I smile and laugh and look like every other young adult out there. The vomit is swallowed, the nausea ignored, the pitch black darkness suppressed for another hour or two. On the outside, I'm totally normal, and I almost get lost in this dream, this fantasy, where I'm like them. Later, when I'm bent over the garbage can, my hands sticky with chicken fat I'm not allowed to keep down, that's when I know.

I was at a party two days ago. Pretty drunk. as I walked into the kitchen to get some more to drink, I grabbed the bread-knife that lay on the counter and tried to slit open my arm. The knife wasn't sharp enough, and now there's just a tiny red line there

also, I bought something insuranse thing for the house I'm living in for the next 3,5 years, and I'm only living here for the rest of the year.... that's 40£ out the window....