glitz and the glam

We get each other on a deeper level, wow I must be like super special or something. Well how about this, when you finally decide that you’re gonna put a ring on all of this–then I’ll figure out how to film it and I’ll put it up on my YouTube channel so that other people who want to find it can see it. Does that sound like good? And we can figure out the vow thing and maybe we’ll have to two sets of vows, the ones for the wedding and the ones that I share with you when nobody is around–the vows and the secret vows. Oh psh, you’ll be good with your vows once you get writing, it’ll just be like when you write songs. We should–I think the sound of this plan. 

You are super special, but not only because we get each other on a deeper level. There are a lot of reasons why you’re special. How do you know I haven’t already decided? Maybe I’ve got it already all planned out in my head. Yeah, I supposed we can have some of it be public. Y’know, give them a little something since there isn’t gonna be anyone other than family and friends at the wedding. But not too much. I like just having it be a private thing. Two sets of vows? Jeez, you’re really pushin it. Oh, hush, you say that like it’s easy for me to write songs. Why do you think there’s always so much time between my albums? It’s ‘cause I never know what to write for lyrics! This plan rocks. All of our plans rock.

I guess you’ve got a point. Nobody else would know what I was saying but you’d at least know the gist of it. Maybe we should just do our vows to each other like after the ceremony or something and keep that little part just inbetween us. Wow Leah–I never knew that and now I’m glad that you told me, that’s going into the vows too. We really have and not in that long of a time either. I’ll have to start planning our one year and make it something really special. 

Exactly. You know me really well and I know you really well. We just get each other on a level that nobody else does. I’d be all for keeping it to ourselves, but I also really want someone to film it. I also kinda like the idea of having other people see it. It’s like I’m telling a whole bunch of people the reasons why I love you, which I like. Jeez, you’re gonna have all your vows written in no time and I’m gonna be stuck scrambling for words ‘cause I never know how to express what I’m feeling. We should go somewhere really nice, just the two of us. I mean, we have ‘til the end of October to plan, but still. We should plan to go somewhere really nice.

But see you’re beautiful like that and I could literally just be crying so much and not be able to say actual words and you would think I was great. How are we going to be able to go first though? We’re both going to be in tears. I never had a doubt that they would be. You haven’t? That’s like really sweet baby. Then I’m glad you think that I’m at least hot. Oh you were? And why were you doing that?

But even if you weren’t saying anything, I would get how you were feeling. You’re one of the most expressive people I know. You don’t have to talk for me to know what you’re trying to say. I have no idea, we’re both just gonna be crying messes that day, but that’s okay. I did, kind of. No, I haven’t. Like, I can find people, like, pretty aesthetically, like I find flowers pretty, but like, being attracted to someone.. That’s a new thing to me. It’s weird. I don’t know how people do it. Yes, I was. Can’t a girl just be nostalgic? It’s nice to look back and then see where we are now. We’ve come really far.

I always have to be prepared and I have to start way before you because yours are going to be so elegant and put together and lyrical and mine definitely won’t be. I like that you like that–I’m just glad it was worth it and that people were accepting and that it wasn’t a waste. That’s not even a little bit of an exaggeration–what other hot girls do you know that have come out? Hm—eight months, a week, and four days…you got that on some countdown somewhere or something? How do you remember that that exactly?

That isn’t true at all. Your vows are going to be amazing and I’m going to be crying so much because I’m so in love with you and you always know how to make me feel special and loved. Your vows are going to be amazing, I know it. I’m glad that people were accepting, too. I don’t know what I would’ve done if they weren’t. It is an exaggeration! I don’t know, I haven’t even thought of someone as ‘hot’ before you. I wanna say I know it because I’m, like, super good at math or something... But I actually was on twitter today and reading our first conversation and then I did the math.

Eventually a goof’s wife, that’s officially going into my vows. They will pronounce us goof and wife. Exactly and I know that you’re just making such a difference in their lives and it makes me happy. You get to be so much more than an ally to them, and like you’re an ally already but now you get to be like someone who is the same. Plus you’re definitely the hottest girl to come out this year, not to mention the one with the most beautiful heart I’ve ever seen. So if I have to share you with a bunch of girls still trying to come to terms with their sexuality then I guess I’m okay with that–just as long as Leona isn’t one of them. I would like nothing more. Oh, whatever else we want to do? Like make cupcakes?

Already writing your vows? What an overachiever. It’s gonna take me forever to write mine. And it’s probably gonna be so damn long. Like, people are gonna be thinking “Jesus, when is Aleah gonna just end these and shut up.” I have so much I have to say. I like being someone that they can look up to. It kind of gives this all purpose, y’know? Being out in public and having everyone always watching everything I do.. Being out and being an advocate really makes it easier. Hottest girl to come out this year? I feel like that’s an exaggeration. Jules, you don’t have to worry about Leona. Even if she wants to get back together, she’s a little too late for that. Like, eight months, a week, and four days too late.

How does it feel to be the goof’s girlfriend? Is it the best experience of your life? I’m sure there is a lot of people in love with you–like I’m sure there is some little girl out there that is convinced she’s totally in love with you and that makes me happy. You know, that you get to be that for her and to let her know that her feelings are valid and that’s she’s important. You should, it was pretty. Yeah, but only the people that know the locations already. We can do whatever you want. Although you have the way better bed to cuddle on. 

Yep, this is all I need in life, is to be a goof’s girlfriend. Eventually a goof’s wife. There could be millions of people in love with me and you’d still be the only one I love back. I’m glad, too, though- even if it took me a long time to become that person. I don’t... I don’t want other girls, or just LGBT kids in general, to feel like who they are isn’t acceptable. I still struggle remembering that, but if being out helps them at all... Well, then I’m happy to struggle. Well, if I have the better bed then why don’t we stay here? We can cuddle and watch a movie and do whatever else we wanna do.

Fine, I’ll be the goof. What does it make you then? It’s not that I don’t think you’ll leave me–because I know with all the people that have hurt you that you would never want to hurt me that way. I just worry that–they’ll end up falling in love with you and you know I don’t want anyone else in love with you. Oh yeah? That sounds like a song lyric if I ever heard of one, you’re still getting a ring though. Weird—that is how I knew you were here though so I probably should have guessed that. Those are your favorite things to do? Interesting–I guess we could do that. 

Good because you’re gonna be the goof anyway. I’m the goof’s girlfriend, duh. Well, I can’t really control anyone else falling in love with me, but them falling in love with me won’t change anything between us. I fell in love with you and it’s not really something I go around doing randomly. So, we don’t have anything to worry about. Maybe I’ll add that lyric into a song some time. Ah yes, my snapchat, constantly giving away my location to various people. Yes, they are my favorite things to do. So, please, let’s do them.

You’re definitely the goof here, you’re stuck with me, a silly little jealous girl. I think I know you better though. You’re gonna still marry me? You sure about that one? Even if I’m a jealous mess–Guess I have to actually work on getting you a ring. I will never understand you fully babe–you’re still such a mystery to me. Why was she even here? How did she even know where you were? Well then I am yours for the night–What should we do?

Nope, you’re wrong, you’re the goof. A jealous goof, but a goof nonetheless. You do know me better and I’m okay with that. Of course I’m still gonna marry you! We have the rest of our lives for you to become more confident with the fact that I won’t leave you for anybody else. Nothing’s gonna change that. I don’t need a ring, I just need my baby. Good, I guess I keep you on your toes then. I don’t know. She wanted to hang out but I was already like half out the door when she got here. She knew I was home ‘cause I’ve been posting snaps all day on my story. Hmm... We could kiss. And cuddle. My two favorite things to do with you.

Not like physically dangerous, you goof. I know she’d never hurt me like in a fight–she’s not dangeous in that way. She’s dangeous because she knows you and she knows what makes you happy and what you like–she knows you almost as well as I do. You’re important to me. You’re definitely cheerful today. I didn’t think there would be a day when I saw you this happy over seeing one of your exes but you know–Love me enough to take the rest of the day off and take me home?

Nuh uh, I am not the goof here.You’re seeing a threat where there isn’t one. Just because she knows me well doesn’t mean I’m gonna start dating her. Her being back in my life isn’t going to change any of my future plans with you. I’m still gonna marry you. No matter what I felt for her back then, it doesn’t even compare to what I feel for you now. What can I say? I’m happy to see my favorite girl. Even if you didn’t come over, I was gonna come over to your place once Leona left. I honestly didn’t even know she was gonna come over. I like your surprise visit more than hers. I already had today off and you best believe I’m 100% okay with spending it all with you.

I just don’t like her. I think she’s dangerous. She makes all my insides boil and makes me feel like I’m going to have steam come out of my ears. Yes, it does. But I don’t want it to. I want to be angry. I think I’m cuter when I’m angry–especially when I get to be angry at Leona or whatever her face is called. Everybody out there really does want you to be with her thought. It was kind of ridiculous how many people were calling her name when she left. 

I get that you don’t like her, but dangerous is a little dramatic. She’s not gonna do anything to you. And if she did, I wouldn’t be friends with her anymore. You’re more important to me. Good, ‘cause I don’t want you to be mad. I like when you’re happy ‘cause your smile gives me these butterflies and I feel all tingly inside. I don’t care if everyone else wants me to be with her. I can make my own decisions, and I would pick you over her every time. So will you please stop being angry and smile? I really love your smile. And you.

No way. I’m totally knocking her out. And I’m not a violent person but I will totally take her down if she thinks she even has a shot with you for a second–no matter how tall her heels make her. Do you have to be this cute all the time? It’s hard to be mad when you’re this cute. And when you’re being this nice and sweet to me. 

You’re ridiculous. You don’t need to worry, though. She’s not gonna try anything and if she did, that would be the end of our friendship. I’m not going to be her friend if she’s just going to spend her time trying to be more than that. I have a girlfriend that I love and that’s not changing. Does my being cute make you feel a little less angry? ‘Cause that’s what I’m trying to do. As cute as you are when you’re angry, you’re even cuter when you’re happy. So I’m gonna keep telling you I love you until you feel better.

How are you so calm about all of this? If she makes any moves on you, I’m totally going to knock her out. I’m just telling you that right this second. You’re freakishly calm about all of this–are you sure that you’re my Aleah?

I don’t know. I guess I just am. Things are going pretty good for me right now, it’s hard to be anxious when things are so great. Okay, maybe you shouldn’t knock her out, but you’re definitely free to yell at her. Yes, I’m your Aleah. That’s how I’m so calm. I know that I’m yours and you’re mine. That’s all I need to be calm.

I don’t like her. I don’t wanna be friends with her–especially now. She hurt you–she cheated on you which automatically makes me hate her. What a little bitch! You don’t care what they say? Even if they say that we’re all wrong for each other and that she could make you happy–because I know that I can make you happy. She’s the worst–

I know you don’t, and you don’t have to. I perfectly understand that. You don’t have to be friends with her Jules. I’m just trying to do what I think is best for me, which is try to move on from what happened. It doesn’t mean I’m just gonna leave you for her or anything. I just want this insecurity to go away, so I’m just trying to do that. Of course I don’t care what they say. They don’t know us, they only know what they assume. I know that we’re perfect for each other and that’s all that matters. They can say what they want, ‘cause at the end of the day, it’s you that I love.

You trust me a lot more than I would even trust myself. But but–that’s your ex and like I’m just here and you guys could totally work again and then what happens if you just leave and I don’t know– [she was rambling at this point] Yes I’m gonna believe the tabloids right now because they’re the ones that get to tell everyone that this beautiful girl just came and saw you and all I could do was sneak around like I was trying to catch you doing something that I know you weren’t. And they’re just gonna be mean and your fans already practically hate me but they all seem to like her. I just–I don’t like her. And I don’t like that she thinks she can just apologize and walk back into your life after she hurt you. I do trust you, I just don’t trust everyone else–her and the tabloids and the rest of Hollywood. 

That’s ‘cause I know you would never do anything to hurt me. I trust you and I love you, it’s as simple as that. Yeah, she is my ex and that’s for a reason. She cheated on me. Whether me and her become friends or not, that’s always going to be in the back of my mind. I’ll never trust her like I trust you. I don’t care what the tabloids say. They don’t know me, they only make speculations off of pictures and rumors. There’s only one girl that I love and that’s you. It doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks, it only matters what I think. And I think I love you. Well, I don’t just think it, I know it. I love you and I only love you and that’s not gonna change any time soon, no matter what my fans or the tabloids or anyone else says.

Because you could be doing important stuff or something. You could like being doing something secret–I don’t know. It matters because she thinks that she can just worm her way back into your heart and that’s not happening. That’s not what all those cameras out there are saying or that lipstick she left on you cheek is saying either Le.

You’re always welcome to come over, no matter what I’m doing. There’s no secrets I would keep from you. Even if I was collabing with somebody and wanted to keep it on the down low, I’d still tell you because I trust that you wouldn’t tell anybody. She doesn’t think that and even if she did, she couldn’t. There’s only one girl I care about. So you’re gonna believe tabloids over me? What do you want me to say? Yes, we have been hanging out. But just that. Hanging out. She kissed my cheek because that’s what friends do. Why is this all such an issue? Do you not trust me?

Somehow I don’t think whenever I want is a good agreement. What if you don’t want me here? She totally was–from her little crop top to her heels higher than probably Wiz Khalifa or somebody. What did she want to talk abut? Hm–how to steal somebody’s girlfriend. 

Babe, in what world would I ever not want you to come over? We basically live together, of course I always want you around me. What does it matter if she was wearing that stuff? You know I only have eyes for you. She wanted to try and make things up to me. She just wants to be friends, Jules. Nobody is trying to steal anybody’s girlfriend.

Oh–I’m disrupting something. I knew I should have called you before I decided to just show up. A friend? She looked like more than a friend—especially how she was dressed all gussied up trying to win you back or whatever. 

You’re not disrupting anything, you goof. You’re allowed to come over whenever you want, I guarantee I’ll always be happy to see you. I only have one more than friend and that’s you, Jules. She wasn’t “all gussied up.” She just wanted to talk to me. Nothing more than that.