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You know what would have been interesting? If Poseidon wasn't a foil to Gabe by being a good but absent dad where Gabe was a present but abusive parent, but if he foiled Gabe by being bad in a different way.
Imagine Percy getting paternal affection for the first time in his life but then slowly coming to the realization that Gabe was a bully who hated him, but Poseidon is a bully who loves him. Poseidon encouraging Percy's anger and violence because his sons are entitled to be as angry and violent as they want. Poseidon magic-ing him out of trouble for fighting at school because Percy should be allowed to hit whoever he wants!
It would change a lot of plot beats and would probably change what his relationship with Sally was like but it would be so interesting, wouldn't it?
suburban women on september 15 1967 tuning in to star trek and seeing fuck-or-die mode spock getting in a sweaty man fight with captain kirk in amok time
i think poseidon would have kids a lot with women who work in marine fields and it's like highkey funny to me that if percy works in that field then he's got a bunch of little siblings who spot him working with their mom and then wrongly conclude that he's their dad
you know what my own tags are going in the main text bc i crack myself up
#even funnier if they're like. Convinced he's their dad and then they get to chb and see him there#funniest of all is that this would just Enrage annabeth's natural jealousy#but she'd have no outlet for it whatsoever because neither the kid nor percy nor the mom has done anything wrong#so annabeth is just eternally beefing with poseidon#for being a slut#and percy would just be like gosh my dad is so embarrassing like why can't you stick to the aquariums in states that I DONT WORK IN#but of course poseidon is a control freak who like stalks his son and then just happens to pick up women while doing it#i think this could escalate to percy putting up signs around his workplaces like 'report this person' 'do not talk to this person'#but then poseidon keeps changing his appearance so percy keeps printing out new pictures#and it gets to a point. where it looks like he has the fbi's most wanted list coming into his aquarium. and he has to wave the white flag
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Iāve been thinking about the idea of Percy being called ālittle lambā by the titans (mainly Kronos) and Gaia since he is technically a sacrificial lamb. Like Gaia literally wanted to sacrifice him specifically. She was just like āeh, I mean if it worksā to anyone else but she wanted him in particular to be the male sacrifice. (Also adds more angst with Percy befriending/protecting Bessie whoās also a sacrificial lamb and also constantly being reminded how he was technically born to die)
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Loop 2.0: Ham and Cheese on Rye, Tomatoes, Onions, Extra Pickles, Hold the Mustard
Index: (Chapter 1) / (Chapter 2) / (Chapter 3)
Archive of our Own: (Chapter Link)
Note: This is definitely the time loop that's gonna fix everything. I can feel it in my bone.
---
āWe are in a time loop,ā Purple said. āYou and I are in a time loop. There are alien imposters on the ship. Theyāve taken over two of the crew. They are going to kill everyone.ā Purpleās grip tightened, fingers digging into Redās stiff shoulder. āAnd I cannot tell you which two crewmates are the imposters, because I think they change, every time.ā
There was a long and horribly sticky moment of silence and nothing, which was a great pocket of prison-bar space for Purpleās brain to rattle and gnaw in, like a caged catmate teased by the wayward hoppings of a clueless free sparrow. And that sparrow was Red right now, with their blank expression, and their single-footed side-step of Purpleās spilling punch puddle, and their gaze drifting to Purpleās hand clenched to their shoulder.
Red took a sip from their own punch cup.
āWoahā¦ā Red said.
āI sound insane, I know. I know,ā Purple continued, and their desperation was ill-becoming of a previous debate-club captain. āBut Red, if I have ever been serious about anything in my life, I am serious about this. I will do whatever it takes to proveāā
āA time loop?ā
āYes! A time loop. Something is trapping us inā"
āWhat is my time loop code phrase?ā
Purple caught their own half-spilled words in all the ways they did not catch their spilled punch drink. It felt like barely not tripping down the stairs. Red took another sip of punch.
āYour what.ā
āMy time loop code phrase,ā Red asserted. āI have a code phrase which I have never told anyone. In the event some mate comes up to me claiming to be in a time loop that I do not remember, I give them the code phrase. Then, on the next time loop, they tell me the code phrase, which would be impossible for them to know without the prior time loop interaction, proving beyond a shadow of a doubt we are, in fact, in a time loop.ā
āYou had that ready to go?ā
āDo you have any idea how boring it is to pilot the ship all day?ā And when Purple did not answer, Red rerailed the conversation. āWhat is⦠my time loop code phrase?ā
āI donāt have it,ā Purple answered with the tone of swatting away a pesky gnat. āThis is my first time telling you about the time loop.ā
āHmm. I guess there does need to be an initiating loop,ā Red said, index finger resting contemplatively on their chin.
āSo do youāā
āHam and cheese on rye, tomatoes, onions, extra pickles, hold the mustard,ā Red declared. Andāin the interest of fairnessāit was now Purpleās turn to stare in the silence of a missed beat of conversation.
āIs thatāā
āI love mustard. I would never pass up the opportunity for mustard on a sandwich. The only reason I would utter that phrase is as the time loop code.ā
Purpleās heart rate was ticking back down into something resembling normalcyānot because the danger had passed, but because the situation was stupid now, and stupidity was exhausting.
āNow,ā Red continued, āwhen you find me next loop, you can tell me the codeāā
āIām not trying to find you next loop, Red!ā Purple cut in. āIām trying to not die this loop. Iām serious. Weāre in a lot of danger.ā
Red was still half-looking at Purpleās hand on their shoulder. Self-consciously, Purple released their grip.
āAliens?ā
āYes. Two of them. On the ship, right now, disguised as two of our crewmates, and they will kill all of us if we donāt kill them first.ā
āHuh. Uh huh,ā Red said, and then said nothing else.
āSo do you believe me?ā Purple pressed.
āIf Iām honest? It does not sound likely, Purps.ā
Purple let out a frustrated swallowing of sound. They glanced across the pizza party, and everything Purpleās visor drank in felt plasticāa mirage, not there, like it was acted and barricaded behind a screen. This was no different from a scene in a movie that had been rewound and rewatched twice because someone had sat on the remote.
Cyan noticed Purpleās attention and waved. Purple did not wave back. And whether that refusal was because Cyan wasnāt real or because Cyan had watched Purple bleed to death moments ago, Purple wasnāt sure. But it did fill Purple with a feeling like walls closing in. Knives to the throat. Some two couldnāt be trusted here, which meant no one should be trusted.
And that included Red.
āBut uh, hey Purps, if you wanna⦠maybe guard the crew a little extra hard in case of aliens, then I say have at it,ā Red said with an enthusiastic swing of their hand, and a wandering of their gaze that suggested they were looking for an escape from the conversation.
Purple stared hard at Red, who could be an imposter and could be looking for an excuse to slip out and kill White and could just kill Purple next. Purple festered in their thoughts.
Red made an awkward side-shimmying step to leave.
Purple blocked them with a step in mirror.
Every imposter possibility aside, Purple was filled with one single certainty that felt like drowning: whatever bloodbath Purple was about to endure, they didnāt want to do it alone again.
āThe first time we did this loop, Red, you actually figured out both imposters. You defeated them both. And you were really really cool doing it.ā
Some absolutely electric something snapped behind Redās blank faceāa silent, frozen, complete transformation that reminded Purple too uncomfortably of a sniper bullet passing whisper-quiet through back and front of skullāif bullets could make someone silently giddy. Too forcefully, Red jammed their punch cup out for Purple to take, which Purple did. Red straightened their party hat, possessed with a new purpose that marched them waywardly and directionlessly forward. āWho are the imposters? Where? Show me. I can do that again.ā
āāthey came with me on the ship. Everyone loved them. White? Whiiiiiteā¦ā
Despite having just freed the captain from their grip, Purpleās hand shot out once more. They grabbed Red on the sort of instinct that one would use to snatch the dogmate-leash close when curbside tires come squealing past.
āUh⦠Purps?ā
āWhiteās dead.ā
āHuh?ā
āOh, there they are.ā
The cold shiver of the cafeteria door opening was an unscrubbable stain in Purpleās memory. They hadnāt realized how deeply imprinted the sequence was until it played itself forward, again, Purpleās breath hitching like the stutter-click of old film.
Rewind.
Again.
White staggered in. And Purpleās capacity for shock had been snuffed out under ashtray grime, a bitter carcinogenic choke to their lungs that quieted any horror. Instead Whiteās teetering motions, their rasping gurgles, were objects of terminal pity. They were a half-dead intermediary of roadkill. They were a sorry sight that couldnāt be helped and beseeched only the intervention of a kinder, quicker death.
Purple could do nothing about it. So they only held the captainās shoulder firm and stared well past White into the hall. Because maybe there would be the shadow of a culprit outside, a trailing limb, a hint of color, an artifact of dropped party hat or clothing like a detective game might offer. But from Purpleās limited vantage point, only the empty hollow halls of the Skeld framed Whiteās entrance.
Whiteās throat split like the unzippering of a bag of honey. The blood that leaked first was thick, and polite enough to contain itself to the collar of Whiteās shirt, and mistakeable, still, for the kind of incident that had a solution. Purple felt an involuntary tug of Redās shoulder, but Red was paying no attention to Purpleās grip. They were wholly, inquisitively entranced in Whiteās entrance. Purple ran a quick inventory of the party goers, gaze shooting one end of the cafeteria to the other, and frustratingly, irritatingly, everyone was accounted for.
Then Whiteās head split. And in some ways it was worse this time, like waiting for the eruption of a balloon Purple knew was inflated past its puncture point. Purple could only flinch, in a way unnatural and incongruent from the rest of the screams that pealed from the living crewmates.
Red writhed under Purpleās grip, a decision below base consciousness to break out into a screaming run. And while it was not an intentional abdication of the alliance Purple was trying to sew, it felt enough like one for Purple to yank them back, and flip them around, and plant both hands on Redās shoulders, and lean in close enough to threaten the clinking of their visors.
āDo you believe me now?!ā Purple asked.
āWell what happened?! Who did it?!ā Red asked, gaze flitting around like a trapped fly.
āI told you we donāt know. Itās changed each time. It was Green and Orange first, then Cyan and Black.ā
āI always kind of thought Cyan had it in them,ā Red remarked.
āIt wasnāt them though. At least. I think not?ā Purple fumbled on their words. Cold and icy flashes of memory spun behind their visor, the hollow titter of Cyanās laugh. It had spoken in third-person, hadnāt it? And then the thing inside Black had called itā Ā āAn infection, I think, is what itās like. The alien imposter takes them over, and I donāt⦠actually know what happens to the crewmates. Green and Orange and Black and Cyan might have all been dead when it happened.ā
"So two of us are already dead?"
The thought stung hard enough for Purple to pull a fraction off of Red. "Maybe! I don't know.ā Purple released Red for real this time. The scrambled horror of the cafeteria was beating down, overwhelming, hot and interrogating. Black was watching them, Purple noticed after a furtive glance over their shoulder. Purple dropped their voice. āBut WE need to focus on surviving. Call a meeting to get this under control, and then Iāll tell you everything I know."
And Purple felt the pressure of something just slightly off. Because despite doing things right this time, and handing Red the captainās control of the meeting they desperately wanted, Red simply⦠did not. Red stared. Purple felt like biting off their own skin.
"...Just to check. How do I know it's not you?" Red asked.
Purple felt their heart rattle in their own chest, bruised and raw still from sitting at the meeting for Blueās murder, with votes and knives stacked against them.
āHow do you know Iām not the imposter?ā Purple asked.
āYes.ā
Purple faltered. "You... you can't know that. But it's NOT me. Why would I have come to you for helpāand told you everythingāif I was the imposter?!ā
āBecause the least suspicious person is the most suspicious person. Common diversion tactic.ā
Purple let out a frustrated noise. āWell the imposter might also be YOU. Youāre just as likely to be the killer as me, soā"
"Not true. Youāre way more suspicious than me right now. You said someone was gonna die, and White walked in here dead, and that's kinda something a murderer would know."
Purple let out a frustrated noise. āI didnāt kill White!ā For the third time in too short a period, Purple grabbed Red again, at the collar now, hand balled and scrunched tight enough for Redās button to scrape Purpleās knuckle. āSo you can either believe me, or you can vote me out if you think it's me."
Purple felt Red go tense under their grip. Redās gaze faltered. They looked around, elsewhere, uncomfortable, and maybe Purple was being far too optimistic in their reading of shame in the captainās loosening posture.
More gently than Purple was expecting, Red peeled Purpleās grip from their jacket.
"Don't give me orders, Purps. Everyone, non-emergency meeting!"
...
Somehow, despite the situational gravity that Purple was at no risk of forgetting, this part of Purpleās plan felt like a childās mission.
Purple moved with a lash of sneaking-around shame. Like stepping around construction barriers, like skipping class, like slipping back in a bedroom window before either parent could harangue Purple for being out late. These were all things Purple had not done in over a decade, and so it felt like wearing the ghost of their teenage self now, as Purple used the smokescreen of Redās meeting to exit from the cafeteria, and snake a square-shape through the Skeld halls, and duck back into the kitchen via the back service-hall.
Redās voice had petered out and now came back booming as Purple entered the back of the kitchen, which only artificially separated Purple from Redās meeting by the wide bay opening between kitchen and cafeteria.
āOrange and I will be following Blue to medbay to fully assess the situation, but first there areāis it 37 pages?ā ā38 pages!ā ā38 pages of official MIRA guidance on workplace incident and injury protocol which I will be reading some or all of to you depending on what I feel like.ā
Purple had half a mind to get lost in Redās wordsābecause they were different, and that intrigued Purpleāand because Red was alive, which pulled the strings of something deeper and wetter still squirming in Purpleās chest. Purple shook off the urge. Red was cooperating, and providing a distraction for Purple right now, and distractions were a rare commodity on a ship where everyone was in everyone elseās business.
So Purple focused on their own mission, which was to duck their head and shimmy their feet in a mockery of the worldās least prepared heist star. This was because Purple needed to remain out of view, because it would be abundantly easy for anyone in the cafeteria to notice Purple rooting around in the kitchen if they so much as glanced over, and somehow Purple suspected that Redās recitation of the MIRA handbook would not hold rapt attention.
But this was necessaryāall scuttling and ducking and shimmying includedābecause Purple needed to see for themself if the salt stores were truly gone, and they needed to do it without any imposters taking notice. If Purple was so lucky, maybe the imposter salt sabotage last loop was a fluke, and the flakey salt would be sitting prim and proper and ready to be dumped into a half-baked holy water weapon. Though, it wasnāt likely. Purple was never someone who could be called āso lucky.ā
Purpleās heart joined in the scuttling at the sight of a tin, chewing tobacco sized, laid out on an industrial metal table smeared with the dried clay of pizza dough flecks. Purple kept their head low, moving with a crab like shuffle to the table. They stuck their head up a bit like a dogmate begging at a mealāand once sure no one from the cafeteria was lookingāPurple grabbed the salt tin.
Purple dropped to a hunch. Undid the salt tin top. Let out a huff of horribly disappointed air.
Empty.
Purple resealed the tin and humored their own defeat with a few seconds of keeping their head pressed between their knees. They stuffed the empty salt tin in their backpack. They rose back into a hunch to scurry away before anyone could call them on the earned suspicion of sneaking around in the kitchen alone.
Purple reached the back door to the service hall and leaned a palm against it, though they paused at the glint that caught their attention from the corner of their visor. Purple turned, and they drank in the sight of the chefās knife, recently cleaned, resting lovingly on a spread-out towel to dry. The sight of it was ice-water down Purpleās bone. It was the same knife as Red had grabbed, last loop, useless against Black and useful only to be driven into Purpleās abdomen.
Purple approached it. Purple traced the carving of its handle.
The knife was a liability, almost certainly. It was a weapon that could not hurt an imposter but could be turned on a crewmate.
But still, Purple's hands itched. Wandering around unarmed felt like a nakedness begging for an imposter tongue to carve through their unprotected organs. A knife felt like protection.
Purple reached down, snatched the knife by the hilt, and dropped it into their backpack alongside the salt.
...
Redās arrival at the security doors was no surprise. It was, in fact, distinctly impossible to catch Purple by surprise as long as they kept their nose buried so close in the camera screens that they practically risked falling right into the monitored rooms. Purple waited, anyway, for Red to knock before remotely unlocking the security doors.
The doors shivered open, noise like an isolated surge of summer rain, and Purple shared in that momentary shiver as Red stepped inside.
āJust got out of medbay with Blue and Orange. White is, in fact, super dead.ā
āAaaand there is a mysterious pink residue on Whiteās body, and Blue wants to do scans of the whole crew to figure out where it came from, right?ā
Red went fumblingly quiet in a way that suggested they were mentally unhitching one train of thought and rigging up a new one.
āYes, actually. How did you know?ā
āI told you. Time-looper. Do you believe me now?ā
The challenge soured Redās expression. They tossed their attention to Purpleās line of binoculars in protest of looking at Purple.
āOr you could have heard us through the medbay security camera, which is a very single-timeline-y thing you could have done.ā
āHow could I have heard you without sound?ā
āMaybe you read our lips.ā
āWhat are you even talking abo--ā Purple shook the thought off. āWhatever! Doesnāt matter. You at least believe me that something is going on, right?ā
Red stewed on this unhappily, in a way that their foot would have driven a divot into the floor if Croc rubber had any edge over metal flooring.
āIt might be that nothing is going on. I still think itās possible Whiteās body just did that.ā Red fell silent, and then added reluctantly, āButā¦ā
āBut?ā
āBut Blue saidāquoteāāCrewmates donāt just split mysteriously in twain.āā
āRight, alien imposters split crewmates in twain, and other shapes.ā Purpleās attention pivoted back to the screens. They flashed through each camera. āThe imposters have no bone, and they also explode in space, so a crew-wide vote is the best way to get rid of them. Blueās scan will tell us what we need to know.ā Then, attention to the medbay camera, like a curse under their breath, Purple added, āAs long as Blues stays alive long enough.ā
āWhat?ā
āNothing.ā
Purple spun in place to Red, one hand extended. āLet me see your captainās handbook.ā
Red went visibly stiff. āMy what?ā
āYour captainās handbook.ā
āI have no idea what youāre talking about. I would never have a need to consult--ā
āYou have a handbook, and you consult it constantly. Give it to me.ā
āMaybe youāre thinking of other MIRA captains. But me, personally--ā
āYou canāt lie to me, Red. I know about the handbook. Time-looper, remember?ā
Red bristled. āOh sorry, I guess I forgot you just know everything ever! Guess you can just solve this whole thing on your own, canāt you? Why bother consulting me?ā
āRed--ā
āTell me this then, little Mx. Time-looper-knows-everything. What color is my underwear?ā
āPink thong.ā
Red went silent in a way that made other silences jealous.
āWait...ā
Purple let out a noise of frustration, and moved off their chair to step forward and slip one hand into Redās unzippered backpack, which earned a yowl from Red, and an attempted swatting away of Purpleās hand like a catmate being prodded on its stomach. Purple had already snatched the book clean from Redās backpack.
āHey!ā Red protested, as Purple took aggressively to flipping through the first few-dozen pages.
āGive me that back,ā Red tried again.
And then, like a correction to a game of Simon says, Red clarified, āAs captain, I order you to give me that back.ā
Purple kept flipping.
āI just need to see something,ā Purple said.
āItās not your book.ā
āI know itās not.ā
āItās not my book either, actually, because I would neverāā
āI donāt care that you have it, Red. Itās fine. I know all this, already. We got over the book thing already.ā
Red made a noise of half-swallowed disgust. āYou donāt know everything.ā
āI donāt. I just know what I know from the previous time loops.ā
āTime loopsā¦ā Red said with disdain. And after several long moments of flipping pages and Redās festering silence, Red cut in, āYou could have figured out the underwear thing from the cameras.ā
āThe black-and-white cameras? I figured out your stupid pink underwear from that?ā
āCould have been a good color guess!ā
āI donāt use the cameras like that, Red. I use them to do my job! Which Iām trying to DO right now, before we all die, so can you FOCUS?!ā
āOh, Iām sorry,ā Red bit back, arms folded. āI guess Iāll just be more focused while youāre out here knowing weirdly invasive things about me AND going through my backpack AND taking my handbook AND making me go along with the fact that youāre aātime-looperāwhich Iām being a REALLY great sport about, might I add!! So yeah, let me just put on my best smile and get real helpful!ā
The single lash of shame slit Purple at the stomach, and all at once the pent-up anxiety and energy and adrenaline poured out of them, awash on the floor. Purple stuck a thumb in the handbook and let it shut, head lowered, long breath exhaled.
ā...Sorry, Red. I do, in fact, really appreciate your help here. I uh... I tried to do this alone last loop, and it didnāt go well. So... thanks.ā
And when Red didnāt respond, Purple glanced up nervously. The anger on Redās face had gone elsewhere, and they were staring with a sort of snuffed-out confusion thatāto the best of Purpleās readāwas because they hadnāt expected to get their way.
Purple cracked the handbook back open, its spine protesting like stiff twigs. They thumbed through slower now, until they finally found what they were looking for. āRULE #214ā. Purple smoothed a thumb over the image, and it was an almost comical rendition Purple decided, in light of how Orange and Green and Black had lookedāthe simple little alien with its simple tongue, impaling a crewmate. āALIENS ARE REAL AND THEY LIKE TO KILL.ā
Purple met Redās visor, and noted the way Red stared back, aware of the page, and gauging Purpleās face for a reaction.
āI know you know about the aliens,ā Purple said.
āI mean... the handbook is a little outdated. I was hoping maybe the aliens were like, a last decade thing.ā
Purple flipped the page, and their heart skipped a beat at the dense gathering of text on the backside of the alien page.
āThereās something here, wait--ā Purple stuck their finger to the text, skimming along as they read aloud, āAlien hijacking of a MIRA Corporation vessel is an unlikely but possible event. Captains of alien-infested ships are advised to proceed with the following knowledge. 1. Crewmate death by alien falls outside the bounds of the MIRA Corporation Death and Dismemberment clause of employee insurance and as such do not entitle the employee to compensationāaaAAAAAGH, really?! This is just about how to fuck us over in death?!ā
Purple skipped to the next page. It was a new subject about apron care.
Purple snapped the book shut with a noise like a popped firecracker. They buried their head and rubbed at their visor. āClassic MIRA!! Aliens are real! Theyāll kill you! But we wonāt tell you about the salt thing or how to.... not be in a time-loop with them!!!!ā
Purple dropped back into the security chair. Their energy was evaporating like morning mist. The silence percolated with it. They extended their hand out, book offered, for Red to take back.
āThanks for letting me check anywayā¦ā Purple muttered.
Red took the book back in their hands. Ā
āHam and cheese on rye, tomatoes, onions, extra pickles, hold the mustard,ā Red said.
Purple raised their sticky attention back up to Red, watching them stuff the handbook back in their backpack.
āWhat--ā
āFor the time-loop thing,ā Red clarified. āJust making sure you remember.ā
āUgh,ā Purple answered, and let their head dip again.
āWhat uh, what salt thing?ā Red asked.
Purple snaked a free hand around to their own backpack zipper, a motion which startled Red in its suddenness. Purple yanked the zipper open along wiry teeth, and reached in, and grabbed the empty tin of flakey salt. They proffered it to Red, who approached and gathered it in their hands.
āItās empty,ā Red remarked, as they popped the top off.
āSalt kills the aliens. Which is WHY they got rid of the salt. Theyāre leaving us unarmed.ā
Red shifted the container between hands, a bit like a toddler in a touch museum. Purple watched them long enough to see Red lift the container toward their mouth and lick it.
āThereās like, a little salt still in here,ā Red remarked.
āNot enough to kill an alien. Let alone two.ā Let alone more, Purple thought bitterly, with the realization that other alien eggs could hatch if the imposters werenāt eliminated soon.
āWhy do you have it then?ā Red asked, handing the container back to Purple.
āI donāt know. In case?ā Purple answered as they slipped it back into their backpack.
And after a hanging moment, Red added, āThere has to be more salt somewhere, right? Itās salt.ā
āCyan used to have salt but... itās probably gone too. It was gone last loop.ā
āHave you asked Cyan?ā
Purple stayed silent a moment. āIāll rummage through Cyanās stuff next. There wasnāt any sign of any other salt in the kitchen.ā
And if Red noticed the deflection, they courteously did not draw attention to it. āI kinda thought the pizza sauce was bland...ā
When this did not yield an answer from Purple, Red added, āOther things have salt.ā
āLike what? Maybe... trace amounts in food? Thatās not gonna be enough.ā
āSalt is a rock, right? And Black is a geologist. If I talk to Black, Iām sure Iāll come up with an idea to replenish the salt and eliminate those aliens in no time.ā
Purple was understanding that memories could be mud pits. They could sweep in like flash floods and infiltrate the nose and mouth and windpipe, aggressively unseating air, and space, and all uncrushed feelings.
That was what Purpleās memories were doing now at the captainās suggestion. Purpleās mind was dominated by the sight of Black, splitting wide open, oozing out flesh like fluid filling out blistering skin. And the sight of Red, sliced down the center, bulbous and greasy inner flesh straining at the duodenum, which had just barely not slit open because the evisceration had stopped short at Redās stomach. Purple had seen it all so close, shoved up against Red, languishing in their shared bloodāthe sight and smell and stink of a crewmateās stomach slit open like burrata, gastric fluids mixed with greasy oils and blood. Purple had been forced to understand it, to see it all, right before Black--
āPurps?ā
Hand on their shoulder. Purple was breathing hard enough to wheeze at every exhale. They found enough sense to be embarrassed as their visor found Red, and their shaking hand landed atop Redās knuckles on their shoulder.
āIām fine.ā
And Red seemed unsure how to answer this, so they said, āIāll go talk to Black.ā
Purpleās hand tightened on top of Redās. A vise clamp. It wasnāt intentional, but even as Purpleās sense caught up to them, they could not dare to let Red go.
āYou... donāt want me to go talk to Black.ā
āItās not safe,ā Purple said, blandly.
āYou think Black is the killer.ā
āI donāt know who the killers are,ā Purple answered. āAnd that means the more people we go to for help, the more likely it is that weāve told the imposters everything. We canāt trust people, Red. Everyoneās dangerous.ā
āIncluding me, right?ā Red asked, and they asked it simply, and without a hint of malice. It was, by Purpleās embarrassed account, far more gentle than Purple deserved. āYouāre talking to me.ā
Purple let out a held breath. Red slipped their hand off Purpleās shoulder, and Purpleās trailing fingers let it leave.
āWhyād you tell me?ā Red asked.
Purple took the opportunity to pinch their fingers tight at their visor. An offshore storm of a headache was rolling in toward Purpleās sinuses, and Purple could feel this would not let them off easy.
āYou⦠really came through in the first loop,ā Purple said. āI honest to god did NOT trust you but, you just, you really came through.ā
āWhat did I do?ā
āYou lured Orange out and got them ejected after they killed Lime. You had my back when I needed your help to take down Green. I made enough mistakes the whole way that you could have ditched me, or turned on me, or voted me out but⦠you didnāt, for some reason. So. I donāt know. I want to believe I can trust you.ā
And speaking with this amount of honesty all felt like wet sludge in Purpleās throat, so it a little bit pissed them off when Red responded with a very stupid and very simple, āOh.ā
It was the kind of nothing response that made Purple lower their hands and lift their head properly to the captain. Red was looking in Purpleās direction, but not quite at them anymore. There was an unfocused distance in Redās visor, an absence that indicated they were completely inside their own head, lost in thought.
āOhā¦ā Red repeated, a little bit longer, a little bit breathier, and with an upward lilt of hope that sounded almost like a question.
Then, when no one said anything else, Red asked, āAnd I was cool?ā
You were concussed, Purple thought of answering, which would be an accurate description of Red in the days after the fight against Green. But, even tactless as they were, Purple could understand that that response would take down the room.
āYou were⦠admittedly⦠kind of cool.ā
Purple felt just a little bit bad recognizing how directly theyād linked the concept of embarrassment to the captain, like a word association game, as Purple caught the distinctly unsubtle way Red rocked and bounced on their heels. A happy petmate, told āgood doggy.ā
And maybe this all made for a good opportunity for Purple to say more, but between the headache and the loop fatigue, they couldnāt take any more swallowing-glass of complimenting the captain. Especially not as the reality of the situation sunk back in slowly. No salt. No leads. No plans.
That was slightly wrong. Purple had one single plan to fall back on, and that plan was turning back around in their chair, and mouse-wiggling the screens back to life, and scorching their dark-adjusted visor with the nuclear monochrome radiation of the security monitors.
Purple did that. They clicked through each cam. And clicked through them again. And Red hovered.
āā¦So whatās the plan?ā Red asked.
And under better circumstances, Purple might have appreciated the personality break-through of Captain Red asking for someone elseāsplan. These were not those circumstances.
āWell⦠considering weāre back to square one and have no salt, no leads on Whiteās killer, and no one whoās gonna believe us if we say ātime-looping and aliensā, Iām just⦠gonna do the job I got hired by MIRA to do⦠and watch cams.ā
Purple completed another rotation of the cameras. They stopped now, intentionally, on medbay. Brown stood on the scanner. Yellow stood to the side talking idly with Blue āa ghost of a conversation, which Purple inferred only by their pantomiming gestures.
āIs there like, a specific alien imposter clue you can see from cams?ā
āNot really,ā Purple answered, all a little bit haunted-feeling watching Blue. āWell⦠yes actually⦠if you count the clue of them transforming into giant flesh monsters when they kill someone.ā
āAre we looking for that?ā And then when Purple didnāt answer, Red added, āAre we waiting to see who the imposter kills?ā
āā¦Yes,ā Purple answered after letting free a long-held breath. āIf Iām honest, this is the thing I most screwed up on the first time. I wasnāt on cams when Blue was killed⦠or Black orā¦ā Purpleās thoughts drifted sideways. āIām trying to not screw that up again.ā
Purple flipped the camera. From the edge of their vision, Purple noticed the way the camera image stamped itself inverted in Redās visor.
āā¦Just to double check,ā Red started, āthat plan, where we stand here and watch the cameras until the imposter kills someoneāthat plan is one where someone gets killed, right?ā
Purple glanced side-long at Red.
āJust checking,ā Red tacked on.
āItāll be a lot fewer people killed than the last two times,ā Purple muttered, and they rather hated hearing the morbidity in their resignation. It echoed and rattled in their head like bad microphone feedback.
Red at least didnāt argue. But they did something arguably worse than arguing, which was getting that hop-skip momentum back into their feet as they trotted to the security doors.
āWhere are you going?ā Purple asked, loathe to break their attention away from cams, but willing to do so to glare at Red.
āYou keep doing your job, Purps. Iām gonna go do my job,ā Red said, all bravado. They slammed a hand out against the internal door switch. The security doors slid open like parting mist. āWhich is to be really cool.ā They took one step past the security threshold, and then stopped just out of sight. Red then took the step in reverse back into security. āAs captain. As the captain who always comes through. Thatās my job.ā
Red took the step forward again, just in time for the automatic resealing of the security doors to not nip at their heels. Purple buried their head forward on their desk and let out the kind of guttural noise of frustration animals make to tell each other to fuck off.
Purple lifted their head and flicked the cams, and they passed the next few seconds watching the monochrome captain bounce down the hall toward storage.
āThat idiot is gonna get themself killed,ā Purple said with all the tired annoyance in their heart.
And then Purple shoved back their chair with enough force for the temperamental wheel to detach, and they broke into a jog that followed the ghost of Redās footsteps to the security door.
Not "The Character did nothing wrong" or "The Character is irredeemably awful" but a secret third thing: The Character may display moments of deep love & compassion, may even have a strong sense of ethics, and may also be capable of brutal cruelty that is irreconcilable with those traits. The constant tension between the different sides of The Character's nature is exactly what makes them compelling, and attempting to reduce them down to simply "a terrible person" or "innocent & misunderstood" is missing the point of the questions a media with nuanced characters is asking you to consider
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I'm thinking about AI again because we're in the Nexus that creates Torment for profit.
And there's a thought rattling around in my head over the fact that a lot of the issues with AI are not brand new to the technology era--a source of chronic and easy misinformation; a technology that causes people to withdraw and isolate and often self-harm; an environmental scourge; an absolute machete to critical thinking, disciplined learning, and meaningful study because why bother with hard and long tasks when you can get fast and easy dopamine hits--all of these can be applied to social media as well.
But something makes AI so foot-to-the-gas-pedal worse in such a festering and pervasive and sudden way, and I think my conclusion for that lies in this emergent technology debuting to the public already under the control of big tech mega-conglomerates who--and this part is critical--were absolutely panickingly desperate at the exact moment ChatGPT hit the scene.
And I'm going to bother you with graphs about this. Because I think it will help explain a lot of the Full-Shove-Down-Throatedness you've no doubt noticed with AI.
And like to back up a second--modern social media is controlled by these exact same mega-conglomerates. But the social media platforms didn't start that way. They were a lot of guy-in-his-basement style inventions--tumblr included--which developed to serve an organic and natural niche people wanted. No throat-shoving yet. Most of us (tumblr demographic) were probably sparkle-dogging on deviantart and--yeah whatever--superwholocking over here. And that was by no means perfect or necessarily even good but there was opportunity to ease in and learn the good and bad.
THEN the mega-conglomerates got it and Facebook is a festering cesspit and Twitter is Like That. But there was a bit of a gradual enshittification there, and I imagine most people following my blog are old enough such that you were able to recognize what enshitted itself and disengage appropriately.
AI--for all the way its ills mirror social media--was born a fully formed fucking asshole directly into the cradles of big tech. And it's weird to consider the technology behind LLMs is not, inherently, evil. And that feels weird because it never really had the chance to exist in the public eye in any capacity before it was the throat-shoved and desperate weapon of big tech downright begging you to rot your brain out your ears and steal your work and pollute the earth and stop thinking and stop trying and stop learning.
Which maybe then begs the question, WHY the crazy desperation? Why the complete disregard for sense, law, legal ownership, and customer voices? Why does 'fetch' need to happen and why do Tech CEO's talk about it like they're gonna bite the cyanide pill in their molars if you don't buy a fucking gemini subscription.
Well I promised you graphs.
Here's your first graph. And here's a little fun fact for those following at home: ChatGPT came out Dec 20, 2022.
This graph shows the stock price for Amazon, Google, Microsoft, and Meta (nee Facebook) between August 2016 (10 years ago) and Dec 20, 2022.
Now see that peak right before the start of 2022? Cover the downward side of it with your finger. Go on. Don't you see a beautiful exponential future of infinite growth? Don't you love when exponential growth is forever? Some of those returns were 400% in just 5 years. Sure, Covid caused a blip but what's a global pandemic in the face of a bullish stock run?
Okay now uncover the right side. That side is the screaming crying sobbing coaster of rich people feelings. And they were so very in their feels.
I'm zooming in on the graph for you. Welcome to November 2021 to Dec 20, 2022.
If you bought Amazon at peak? You were down 50%. Meta at peak? Down 60%. And every rich person investor is a money genius until the market turns, at which point it's panic to right the ship.
There were whispers of recession all throughout 2022 and it made the tech market crumble, because tech stock prices are highly speculative, and they ride market whiplash with more aggressive slingshotting than companies grounded in material value.
And then something happened on Dec 20, 2022. Obviously you know, I've said it 3 times. ChatGPT released. And oh boy.
Companies started promising AI. Investors started listening. The stock prices got happy.
Welcome to the graph 2022 to current day
And if the dance is working, they don't fucking stop dancing.
Do you WANT AI? Do you NEED AI? Will it actually help you? Might it in fact harm you? Will it harm the planet? Will it harm learning, and discipline, and the vulnerable, in the exact ways big tech companies are shoving it down people's throats?
Who give a shit! Whogiveasshitwhogiveasshitwhogiveahit. Money up! Desperate crying tech company HAPPY now. Money happy now!
Now the entire 10 year graph looks like this
And that scary scary scary scary drop off in 2022 that course corrected itself nigh exactly on December 20, 2022?
Well, you love AI, don't you? š As long as it's shoved down your throat.