AlbaLaEsclava

I find in you the joy of creation. I build you up anew as I would a derelict sanctuary of machine. I relish. Slowly, I find the fractures, the nicks and scratches, and manufacturer defects. I relish. I bring them home too, and bring replacements, upgrades, tweak cables, work until I sweat on machinery too precious to stain, until the metallic bone absorbs and strengthens the old. I relish, in the joy of you, in the joy of teaching a young thing, in the beauty of the worn ancient rocks in the landscape that dot the Earth like constellations. I trace back the order of old glitches, rewrite them and make them right by hand, building and adapting as I build and adapt you. I mend your frayed copper cables like an unruly girl's bloody knees when she's been playing in the wild past dark. I polish your lacquer every day before going out, and boot you down every night, resting your cold metal limbs against my hairy, fleshy ones and finding solace.

what my Daddy does for me is he tells me im allowed to love pink. i was raised to hate girly things; he allows me to love it. dancing. barbies and polly pockets. dolls and stuffed animals and doing hair and wearing skirts and dresses.

what my Daddy does for me is he makes sure i have amazing hygiene. i always struggled with it and people called me lazy but really i just needed help; structure, routines, expectations, sensory play to make the overwhelm more enjoyable. he helps me to be clean and sparkly with long luscious beautiful healthy hair and healthy glowing skin!

what my Daddy does is he encourages in me what i was raised to devalue; being cutesy, being charming, being girly and optimistic and bubbly and SWEET!!!

i was raised by people who tried their best. and it wasnt good enough. they fucked up. but my Daddy, my husband, my lover, he’s fixing me. making it all better. helping me, genuinely.