Alan_M00ch

To me, there will be no greater year in sports than watching my teams winning the crown.

In the ‘21-’22 NHL Season, the Colorado Avalanche went to the top of the west, they battled every step of the way, went up against the Lightning in the Finals, and they claimed the crown in 6 games with a 2-1 win in Tampa to hoist the trophy. In that moment, you think it can’t get any better. Deep down, I knew one team had a chance to finish the job and bring yet another title to Colorado, a title in a sport that hadn’t seen a Colorado team win it all seen since their days in the ABA.

That team was the Denver Nuggets. 47 years in the NBA, and only 4 trips to the Western Conference Finals to show for it. All season long, the Nuggets took on 82 games. In 82 games, they tore the West down with an impressive 53 W - 29 L season to take the top rank in the Western Conference. But the regular season means nothing. It’s the Playoffs where the true test for this team would begin.

Round 1 - Minnesota Timberwolves, a team that came in a wild card, Denver proceeded to steam roll to a 3-0 lead headed into game 4 with a chance to sweep. The Wolves won, and the Nuggets took it personally and put the series to bed in game 5 with a 112 - 109 win.  The 2nd round is the next challenge Round 2 - Phoenix Suns, this team was 2 years removed from a trip to the NBA Finals against the Milwaukee Bucks where they fell in 6 games in that year’s finals series.  Denver took game 1 by a score of 125 - 107, game 2 was a 97 - 87 win for the Nuggets, game 3 in Phoenix proceeded to hold Denver down to a 121 - 114 loss to make it a 2-1 series lead.  Phoenix would tie the series in game 4 by handing Denver a 129 - 124 loss, but Denver would not go down as they blasted the Suns out of the water with a 118 102 win in game and then followed that up with a 125 - 100 win in game 6, the Western Conference Finals await. A 5th trip to the WCF awaits, and it’d be a 2020 rematch.

Western Conference Finals - Los Angles Lakers, or as I call them “one of the NBA cash cows.” The Lakers have won multiple titles, and last won it all in 2020, crushing the Nuggets in 5 games. A 4th WCF match against the Lakers, they won 3 of them. This is over right? Wrong, Denver would NOT go down the way they did in the past, they did NOT lie down. Game 1  - Denver holds off a late game surge to win 13, Game 2 - Denver barely edges the Lakers out to take a 2 - 0 series lead with a 108 - 103 win, Game 3 - out in L.A, the stars shining bright, and the Nuggets proceeded to bend but not break as they held the Lakers off again in a 119-108 win to take a  3 - 0 series lead. A sweep was seemingly inevitable, but game 4 was the closest battle yet.  Back and forth late into the game and Denver was on the edge of defeat, but once again, the Nuggets made the moment magical and edged out the Lakers 113 - 111, taking a a 4-0 series sweep, Jokic getting the Western Conference Finals MVP, and a first ever NBA Finals trip NBA Finals - Miami Heat, 3 time Champions of the NBA. Last won in the 2012-2013 season, faced the Lakers in 2020 finals and came up short. They’ve been here before, and they got a team that’s never been here before in Denver.  But once again, Denver would not go down. Game 1 - Denver ended the 1st quarter down 24  - 22, and proceeded to stay down 51 - 44 at the half time and Miami was feeling confident in winning this game.  The 2nd half was a different story was Denver proceeded to find the net for 26 points to the Heat’s 20, and turned the ball game to a 71 - 70 lead for Miami headed headed into the final quarter of the game.  In the 4th, Denver scored 24 more points to Miami’s 18, taking game 1 in a convincing 94 - 89 win. The historic first ever NBA Finals win for Denver, and making it three wins to go.

Game 2 - Miami wouldn’t go down quietly after the game 1 loss, ending Q1 on top 26 - 23, but Denver rallied off in Q2 to go up 57 - 51 at half time.  2 quarters left to the 2nd ever finals win.  After the game’s 2nd half began, Denver picked up right where they left off and went up  83 - 75 with 1 quarter to go.  But Q4 would not go my team’s way as Denver only put up 25 more points while Miami rattled off 36 points and gave the Heat a 111 - 108 win as Denver tried for a 3 point shot at the buzzer to tie the game, but it was just short. Game 3 - The NBA Finals would take a trip to Miami for the Games 3 and 4 and Denver would take game 3 by storm, after a 24 - 24 tie in Q1, Denver put up 29 points in both Q2 and Q3, and backed it up with a 27 in Q4 and scored the game 3 win with a 109 - 94 win.  Win 2 of the NBA Finals, but the job isn’t done. There’s still 2 more wins to go. Game 4 - Friday night for game 4? Denver saw it as no challenge and they routed Miami all game long and aside from a DEN 55 - MIA 51 first half, it wasn’t even close as Denver won in a  108 - 95 take down.  The series is now 3 - 1. Denver is now 1 game away from winning it all. Monday night would be the night where it all would be decided if we were headed to game 6, or it was all over in 5. Game 5 - This was it. This was clinch night, if you were gonna show up and win it all, THIS was the night. Monday night was prime time, and Denver proceed to go down 51 - 44 at the half time, and it looked like it was going to head to game 6 in Miami and possibly a game in Denver 7 where it’d be anyone’s guess who would win it all. But just like game 1, just like every other time it looked like it was over for the Nuggets, they rallied in the 2nd half and with a late game steal, Denver held on to win the game by a score of 94 - 89.  There would be no game 6. Game 7 was no longer needed. It took 5 games. The series ends in 5 games. a 4 - 1  series win, and the end of a 47 year wait for my team’s first ever NBA crown.

Today was a great day to be a NASCAR fan.

For the first time in 26 years, a long lost speedway was found again. Before I go any further, I want to give you all a little bit of knowledge : I was only 1 year and 4 days old when the last race at North Wilkesboro Speedway took place. The track had been a main stay on the Cup schedule up until 1997 when Texas Motor Speedway took it’s place. So I didn’t grow up with the speedway like many of the older NASCAR fans have. But I always loved to hear about the stories of the speedway. It fascinated me to read and hear about North Wilkesboro Speedway.

And with Texas Motor Speedway being... awful, to say the least, I was one of the younger NASCAR fans (becoming a fan in 2002) was among the loud and vocal in recent memory who wanted to see the old track come back.

Well, I got my wish. And I’m really happy. For NASCAR’s 75th anniversary season coming in 2023, it was rumored yesterday that the All-Star Race, which had lost it luster over the years, was going to be headed to the North Wilkesboro Speedway, a track that SMI owns.  These rumors were further fueled when it was announced by the track that all original plans of the revival plan were being set to the wayside and a huge announcement on the 8th, that being today, was to come. On top of that, the executives of Fox were telling NASCAR they wanted the All-Star Race to have a grassroots racing feel and possibly rotate it around like the MLB All-Star Game.  Okay, sure. But the big hitting point is “grassroots racing” feel. As in short tracks. Today? That rumor was confirmed.

My take? This is a very decisive win for everyone involved. NASCAR taking Fox up on the offer to go for a grass roots race, SMI for being willing to not only go along with this, but also dropping a date from the Texas Motor Speedway, Dale Jr was a huge advocate for this...

I could go on, but what’s the point?

So if you’ve been out of the loop, there have been rumblings in NASCAR about taking the Cup cars to the streets of a major city as far back as December of 2020.  The rumblings had talks of Chicago being the lead off to this experiment.

I made a huge case for Denver to get a race in a blog I put together on May 8th, 2021. (Ugh. 2021. Get me away from that year.)  If you missed that blog, I brought up the following. 1) Colorado’s love of sports 2) the star power of Colorado sports 3) Iconic sports venues, famous landmarks, and mountain backdrop

I did bring up some challenges that would come along with hosting a street race such as traffic, noise complaints, city could lose money, and the fact that Denver has the unique additional challenge of being 1 mile above sea level, making the thin air an extra challenge for the teams and drivers. But in that blog, I failed to point something out. Street racing really isn’t the best style of racing in the world when it comes to the top levels of racing... IMSA and IndyCar being the outliers as they have cars that are built to race on the streets. IndyCar races on the streets, while not always a thrilling race, provides good entertainment to be had and are really fun in person. I would know, I went to the 2011 Baltimore Grand Prix. NASCAR, on the other hand? We’re talking about a 1.5 ton stock car racing that is purpose built to be raced on tracks from the high banks of Daytona and Talladega to the tiny little short tracks of Bristol and Martinsville. NASCAR road course racing isn’t exactly the best nor is it that entertaining to watch a vast majority of the time. Looking at Sonoma in particular. Anyway, the rumblings have turned into a roar.  It was confirmed yesterday that the NASCAR Cup Series will indeed be racing on the streets of Chicago. Want me to be perfectly honest? I’m not thrilled. The more I think about it, the less enthusiastic I am. 

We got that street course race, yes. But Chicago? Really? You could’ve put a street race anywhere in the US (cough, cough, Denver, cough cough), hell, gone north of the US border to Toronto, south to Mexico City, and yet, you chose Chicago? Why? So you can chase a market that doesn’t care for the product? And that’s the only thing that has me not thrilled about it.  The track itself, tested on iRacing, doesn’t inspire any confidence in this race being any good at all.

Well, holy *CRAP*, game 1 was a gauntlet for the Avalanche and Oilers. Where do we begin? How I give you the final score and then *how* we got here.

COL 8 - EDM 6

Okay, HOW did we get here? Well, here’s a highlights video that will show you how we got to that ridiculous score. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSpqH3DYfxo&t=1s Did you watch it? Yes? Awesome. Stick around and I’ll tell ya what you saw! No, you’d rather read me breaking down all the action and THEN watch it? OKAY! Let’s do it then! At 06:00 PM Mountain Time, the first puck drop of the Western Conference Finals would get the game under way and the attack was on for both teams.  Shots being handed left and right but no team could score a goal, that was until Yamamoto went end to end, and then he would pass the puck to Evander Kane from the wing.  With a slight breakaway, Evander Kane scores the opening goal of the game with 14:56 seconds to go in the first period making it a 1-0 Oilers lead.  And oh boy, once that goal was scored, the hammer was dropped. The Avalanche would immediately launch a response to the Oilers goal by launching an all out attack that started with Byram on the Avalanche side of the ice, and it ended with a 2 on 1 offensive advantage where Alex Newhook found J.T. Compher to score the 1st goal for the Avalanche with 14:20 to go in the period.  With 5:00 to go in the first, the Avalanche would launch another strike again, this time, it started with Makar behind the Avalanche net. It ended with Nathan MacKinnon flying in to pick up the puck in the offensive zone and burying it with 4:50 to go.

with 36.8 to go, the Oilers started with the puck in their own end with Kulak finding Connor McDavid on the wing and he does what he does best : Connor McDavid things. A no look pass to Draisitl, Driasitil hands it back to McDavid, McDavid passes it to Kulak, Kulak send the puck up to Hyman, and Hyman gets the puck behind Darcy Keumper and in the net for a goal and makes it a 2-2 game with 22.3 seconds to go. The tie game was short lived as 8.7 seconds later, Cale Makar blasted down the ice and buries the 3-2 go ahead. This goal was challenged by the Oilers coach for off sides, and it seemed like it did go off sides and would 100% be called back, but after review, the goal stood as called and Makar would officially give the Avs a 3-2 lead leaving the first period as no other goals were scored despite the Avalanche being on the power play. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVCuzEiIDXA This video gives an in depth explanation as to why the Makar goal stood as a good goal, but the ruling should’ve been off sides and even I say that as an Avalanche fan. The Avalanche got gift wrapped 1 goal thanks to the NHL being the NHL and wanting the Oilers to get screwed at every corner (according to Edmonton fans) and the rule book being well... confusing. And the Avs on top of the go ahead goal from Makar standing as called, now have a power play that carries over into the 2nd period to go along with it. Speaking of the 2nd period, with 19:39 to go in the period, Cale Makar starts an attack in the Avalanche zone and skates down center ice, passes the puck to Rantenen, Rantenen passes to Nazam Kadri, Kadri shoots, shot blocked, BUT WAIT, Kadri has the rebound AND HE SCOOOOOOOOOOOOORES!!! YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU BETCHA!!! THE KADRI MAN CAN! With 19:28 to go, Kadri scores a power play goal and the Avalanche are up 4-2 after drilling home 2 unanswered goals in this game.

And the Oilers rolled back with a response of their own : with 17:01 left in the period, the Oilers start a play in their zone with Pulijuarvi stealing the puck from the Avalanche and taking a shot down ice, Keumper makes the block, but the puck made an unlucky bounce into open area of ice and McLeod was there to take the rebound and score the goal, making it a 4-3 game for the Avalanche. In a tightly contested game, the Avs had a 1 goal advantage and there was still a lot of game left to go. And the Avs would not take that goal lying down.

Nathan MacKinnon makes a nice backhand pass to Mikko Rantenen, who just came off the bench, and Rantenen buries it top shelf With 15:20 to go in the period,  and gives the Avalanche a 2 goal lead once again with a score of 5-3. And the scoring onslaught from the Avalanche was on.  Devon Towes takes a shot has it denied. Towes picks up the puck, passes it to Cale Makar, and Makar lets it fly on the one-timer and puts a laser shot into the net with 13:40 to go in the period, making it 6-3. Late in the 2nd period, battle for the puck along the boards in the Avalanche zone is won by the Avs defender Jack Johnson.  Johnson pokes it to Logan O’Connor, who flies on the wing side, makes a pass to Andrew Cogliano and Cogliano scores a Coglion-GOAL. And thanks to Cogliano’s goal, the Avalanche make it 7-3 with a mere 3:40 left in the period.

Lost in the Avalanche goal frenzy was Darcey Keumper skating off the ice due to blurry vision with Pavel Francouz coming in to the game to finish what Keumper started while we all wish Keumper a speedy recovery and hope he’ll be alright. With 3:24 to go in the 2nd, there was a face off in the Avalanche zone. Face off was won by McDavid for the Oilers, Draistl takes a shot, blocked by Francouz, it’s still in the Avs zone and the Avalanche can’t clear it. Draisitl still has the puck, passes it to McDavid, and Connor McDavid puts the puck in the Avs net to make a 7-4 hockey game with 3:09 left in the 2nd period. And that goal would begin the Oilers 3 goal counter attack to the Avalanche goal flurry.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year to be a fan of ice hockey. The Stanley Cup playoffs have been in full swing for almost a full month now.  We started with 16 teams.

The Eastern Conference gave us the Boston Bruins, Carolina Hurricanes, Florida Panthers, New York Rangers , Pittsburgh Penguins, Tampa Bay Lighting, Toronto Maple Leafs, and Washington Capitals. The Western Conference gave us the Calgary Flames, Colorado Avalanche, Dallas Stars, Edmonton Oilers,  Los Angles Kings, Minnesota Wild, Nashville Predators, and St. Louis Blues. Round by round, 16 went down to 8 and then down to 4. The Leafs, Capitals, Bruins, Penguins, Kings, Stars, Wild, And Predators fell in their round 1 series match ups. The Flames, Hurricanes, Blues, and Panthers all fell in their round 2 series match ups. Tonight, the Conference finals begin with game 1 between my team, the Colorado Avalanche, going up against the Edmonton Oilers. A high flying Avalanche team that will be going up against a highly talented Oilers team. I hope this series a good tilt and I *definitely* hope the Avalanche will reach the Stanley Cup Finals.

How do you celebrate 10 years of making content?

I’ve been asking myself this since it dawned on me that I started my adventure back on September 24th, 2011. But I didn’t make and upload my first video until 6 days later on September 30th. Back when I started? I was very limited in what I could do and it showed in the poor quality of everything.

I call 2011-2014 my starting point. Those first 3 years were just me trying to find my footing and figure stuff out. I had to teach myself how to edit. And my edits weren’t perfect. In that time frame, I got my 2nd channel (thanks to the defunct Google+) and I was able to have a home for all my content that wasn’t Sonic related. 2015 was a transition year as I started to run my own Twitch streams. On January 9th, 2015, I ran my first ever stream. All I had was Minecraft. And that was the game that kick started my streaming path. But streams were halted in May of 2015. (I blame my dad.) But Sonic content kept going. Which was good. In July of that year, I put out my first ever 1,000 view video as I made a music video to “Good News” by Manic Drive. In December of that year, I posted some of my biggest hit videos : Sonic music videos to “Nothing Can Stop Me Now” from the Disney movie Planes, and “Real Gone” from the Disney/Pixar movie Cars.  Those are my top 2 videos and I think they’re gonna stand at the top for a long while.

2016-2017 was mostly Sonic music videos on my Sonic channel, but my other channel was cranking out all kinds of videos from NASCAR ‘14 to Need For Speed Rivals to NBA 2K13 to NHL 08 to Southern 500 throwback reviews to NASCAR stop motion races. 2016 was also a big year for me as I had hit the 5 year mark of making videos over on Sonicfan1750. I always say the 24th is where I got my start as that was the day I made my channel. 2018 was where I got my Sonic channel back to gaming roots with the start of my Sonic Next Gen let’s play. I haven’t finished it and I haven’t resumed it. Been meaning to do that. 2018 was also a milestone on twitch as I had gotten the invite to be a Twitch affiliate on April 13th, 2018.

1 year, 5 days later on April 18th, 2019, I officially became an affiliate and that was a milestone all of it’s own. And then i got a windows laptop, an HP laptop with a touchscreen. and it opened the door to even more Steam games for me to play.

2020 was yet another milestone year as I celebrated 5 years of streaming on Twitch. 2020 was also the year I played Sonic Adventure and Sonic Mania for my Sonic Channel.

2021 has been me... just reflecting on that long road it took me to get to where I am now. it also saw me add new stuff to my resume.

I look back... and it makes me hope. Makes me hope I put a smile on someone’s face. I hope I brightened up someone’s day. that I made someone laugh. To me, a smile is *way* more of a reward than money ever will be.

I’m no longer that 16 year old kid that didn’t have a lot to work with. I’m a seasoned 26 year old who just wants to show I got nothing to lose, and I can work with what I’ve got. That I still got a lot of fight left in me.

How do you celebrate? How do you celebrate when it seems like at every turn you’ve taken in a year where it seems nothing’s gone right and it’s all gone wrong for you? When you have to fake a smile? When you have to bottle how you really feel inside because you don’t want to burn bridges? Me, personally? I just hold my head up and say “brighter days are ahead.” I don’t even need to deep dive into how my year’s gone. It’s been one disaster after another and it’s just been a massive pile of scraps (full year review coming in December). There were some positive moments for me this year where I honestly did smile. June 23rd was Sonic’s 30th anniversary, I smiled that day. June 26th, I did a Sonic anniversary stream, I had a smile on my face, July 10th, I started a stream with Rocket League and did some of the Beach Ball LTM, I had a big ole’ smile on my face. And then September 23rd... my 26th birthday. It didn’t start with a smile, but it sure did end with a smile... and me blowing out a candle after making a wish that night.

but for every day I’ve smiled? It always seems like there were 30 days where I just wanted the year to end.

Let me first off say that... it’s been a while. I got a lot to think about.

Let me just have my escape.

So... NASCAR. Yeah, big changes on the horizon. The big talk is around the NextGen (AKA Gen7) car. how it looks, how it sounds, the massive changes surrounding it. *sigh* what a day May 5th was. It was like Christmas day came early.  As I type, NextGen testing is ongoing to square off the finer details of the car.

But it’s more than just the car.  the schedule is seeing yet ANOTHER massive overhaul on the horizon.

The big talk right now is street course racing, with Chicago being the maiden voyage of this NASCAR Street race experiment. If it’s successful? The next stop could either be Denver or Mexico City.

I’m biased towards the first one, especially since I wanna move out there, so let’s talk about NASCAR having a race in Denver. yes, THAT Denver. Denver, Colorado.

Okay, first off, you need to understand something here : Colorado. LOVES. sports.  I may live in Maryland, but I do know they got a lot of sports teams out there (all of which I adopted as my teams over time.) It started with the Denver Broncos in late 2011 when QB Tim Tebow threw a miracle pass to knock the Pittsburgh Steelers out on wild card weekend and then it snowballed from there, but that’s not a here and now blog. Let’s talk NASCAR in Denver.

Denver has some fantastic sports facilities and land marks to blast by in a race car. With the scenic mountain back drop? Who would pass that up? Colorado also is not at a shortage of star power that could show up to a Denver race.  Let me run down some of the sports heroes in Denver. Ready? Buckle up, cause it’s a start studded list that includes, but not limited to  Jamal Murray, Von Miller, Gabriel Landeskog, Mikko Rantenen, Peyton Manning, Trevor Story... you get the idea. The last thing for Colorado to check off the sports list is a big marquee racing event on the National Stage of racing. Sure, they have the Pikes Peak Hill Climb Challenge, but that is such a niche event. I’m talking BIG STAGE racing. IndyCar, IMSA, and NASCAR are the top 3 leagues of motorsports in America, and it’s that last one, NASCAR, we’re looking at.

NASCAR had a team based in Colorado with Furniture Row Racing from 2005-2018. In that time, Furniture Row Racing, owned by Barney Visser, racked up 18 wins with Regan Smith scoring 1 win in 2011, followed by 17 wins with Martin Truex Jr from 2015-2018, capping off an 8 win 2017 season with the NASCAR Cup Series Championship before financial issues bit the team and they went under at the end of 2018. 

On top of that, NASCAR has stated that they want to bring NASCAR to the people, and the way to do that? Take the cars and stars of the sport out to the streets that ordinary people like you and me walk

While not being represented on the track anymore, NASCAR having a race in Colorado would be just one more reason I need to move out there.

But this whole street racing gig comes with a massive problem that needs to be addressed : While it’s all good and dandy NASCAR wants to do this, the city could lose money. People would have noise complaints... on and on and on the problems go. Even more of a challenge? that mile high altitude.  It’s NOTHING like anything the drivers have faced in the past and who knows what effects that the mile high air is going to have on the cars and drivers.

I want to her to know I love her. I want to tell her how my heart feels. My heart is crying. I’m hurt... and I’m still hurting. I barely get through each day. There’s just no reason for me to wake up with a smile. All the energy I’m known for has been sucked outta me. It takes everything to motivate myself to do things. There's just... so much I wanna say. And everything I want to say comes from my heart, where it always has come from.

If there was a ever a song to describe how I feel about her... I've never found it. Because it's not out there. Because my feelings for her fall into multiple songs.  Where do I begin? 

(I’m gonna be like I’m talking to the girl directly. So uh... excuse the pronoun change for the time being)

"Far Away" because of the distance between you and I. I had you waiting for so long, and I’ve been far away for far too long. I know I’m gonna quote the song when I say this, but I don’t care. It’s how I feel : On my knees, I’ll ask last chance for one last dance. I’d withstand all the hell just to hold your hand. I’d give it all, I’d give for us. Give anything, but I won’t give up. “cause you know, you know, you know... I love you. I loved you all along. I miss you. Been far away for far too long. I keep dreaming you’ll be with me and you’ll never let me go.  This song would’ve been perfect for our first dance song. But that’s not here or now.

"Perfect" because that's how I've described you to my friends. When I met you, I didn't just have that feeling you were the one I wanted for the rest of my life. I *knew* you were the one I was looking for. We were 16 when we met and fell in love, I'm sure we didn't know what it was. But your heart was all I owned, you were holding mine. I wanted to dance with you, barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite songs. I wanted nothing more than to say to you "you look perfect tonight.” Yet another song that would’ve been a beautiful first dance song.

"Say You Won't Let Go" because that song was my promise to you. My promise that I would love you 'til my lungs gave out. That I would be with you 'til death did us part like in our vows when that day came. I want to be with you. Even when we're gray and old. Even we were ghosts. All I wanted to say was I'd never let you go. And I was hoping you'd say you won't let go either. This was supposed to be our first dance song.  Now? This song means NOTHING to me. It’s a song I want to bury in the ground and forget it ever existed.

"Waiting for Superman" because every day I was with you, I kept wishing I was there with you... to come save you at the speed of light. And how I kept you waiting for me. I wanted nothing more than race there pick you up in my arms and take you anywhere. Show you love while flying through the air, save you now before it’s too late tonight.

"Save the Last Dance for Me" because I loved you so and I wanted you to save that dance for me. I wanted you in my arms.  I wanted to gaze into your eyes as they sparkled like the finest wines the world had to offer. Another song song that could’ve been our first dance song. It would’ve been funny if it did become our first dance song because the song literally says save the LAST dance for me.

"Satellite" by Nickelback because you are my whole world and I all I want is nothing more than to do was be your satellite. I wanted nothing more than to lock the door behind us, where nobody would find us, make the whole world wait while we dance around the bedroom like we’ve only got tonight. Not about to let you go until the morning light. You can be my whole world, if I could be your satellite. Dance around this room, I’ll be your satellite. Dance with me around the moon, you and I every night. Another song I wish I we could’ve made our first dance song.

"Live Life" by Crush 40 because every day we spent together had me holding on and holding tight. Not wanting to let go and living life with you. Living every moment and making it the best moment ever. Never letting life pass us by. Some day, one day, we’ll say live life, I know. Hold on, hold tight, don’t let go, don’t lose sight.  I wish I got you into Crush 40. This would’ve been a wonderful first dance song. Especially as I put a pretty flower in your hair.

“Little Wonders” because of how each and every twist and turn of fate… would always lead me to you. I wanted to be with you for each little wonder.  Watch time fall away with you as each small hour would still remain. If it wasn’t Say You Won’t Let Go as the first dance song and I had heard this song sooner? I would’ve picked this one as our first dance song in a heart beat.

“Give me a Lifetime” by Anthem Lights because that’s all I was asking for : just for you to give me a life time, not a moment more, but not a second less. Dear God, I saw her and I an angel with my own. She’s the only thing on my mind. I may be out of line for asking, but is there anything I can do to make her mine? I’m never exactly sure where to start. I wanna give you the world, but I never had the world, so I gave you my heart. I may run out of time, but I would gladly spend my life just to try. Another song that would’ve been a beautiful first dance song.

I'll even throw a couple of my own songs I was writing in here as well.

"Christmas Dance" - I was working on this song as a surprise present for you a once I had it finished. It was about how I kept wishing I was with you, and because I'm always with you in my dream world... I started writing it. Because I was missing you. And I wanted to tell you that I loved you. This song was me wanting to ask you save a dance for me at Christmas. It was all I wanted. to spin you around on the floor with a smile on my face and your heart floating away with mine into the snowy night skies.

"Leap of Faith" - This... this one is one I have never gotten around to writing, but I have the general idea for. This song was the one I was going to write... for the day I was gonna propose to you. And then I was hoping to sing it again at our reception before we had our first dance. I say all this as I’m with her... I’m not. It’s too painfully obvious what’s going on here. I’m crushed, my heart’s shattered... and it’s because the girl is no longer mine. “move on” all my friends say. I’ve tried. I’ve TRIED. NOTHING I’ve done has gotten me to forget her. If anything, i haven’t been able to focus on anything because the heartache is real. “time heals” everyone tells me. They’re lying. it only makes the pain WORSE and it makes you realize you miss what you had even more.  There is no end in sight. >.<

Everyone knows that there’s that one person they wanna be with for the rest of their lives. I found the girl I want for the rest of my life. One of a kind, nobody like her. I know her very well. She lives in Colorado. She’s the one I wanna marry, I wanna go out there and be with her til the end of my days... I say all of this as if there’s a catch. There is - she’s engaged and every day that passes is another day to me getting the happily never after nobody sees.

I might as well... share how I was hoping my proposal was going to work.

This is my dream proposal.

I haven’t told many people (if any at all), but I’ve recently gotten into writing my own songs. But I recently had this idea for a song. I call it “Leap of Faith” I haven’t written it out yet and... hm? Oh, sorry. I’m stalling again.

Anyway, I was gonna write the song out, keep quiet about everything as I make sure everything gets set up properly. Get the engagement ring, get a teddy bear, ring box in the teddy bear’s paws, play a bunch of Stardew Valley on my twitch streams (https://www.twitch.tv/alan_m00ch), get to a point where I can marry one of the NPCs... you can actually see where this is going now, right?

So anyway, on the specific stream where I decide “hey, you know what? It’s time for my Stardew character to get married” I was gonna convince the girl to join me on stream to chat with me as I play the game (and for the surprise proposal that at that current point, nobody sees coming). Perhaps even get a pizza, that’d be nice. And then I chat with her as I play, and then my character gets married.  Adorable, right? Well, stick around because *now* comes the best part : *the part where I actually propose to the girl* After the day in Stardew Valley is over, I stop playing the game and change over to my web camera. This is where I tell her “Hey, wait, hold on. I have something I wanna share with you.” And this is where it all begins. I’d start by giving my song a proper debut - I’d be singing it live. On stream. In that moment. And then afterwards, I’d talk with her and then take the little black box from the teddy bear’s hand get down on my knee, show her the ring, and then say the 4 words I’ve waited a long time to ask “Will you marry me?” hopefully, I’d hear her say yes and then I’m celebrating because well, I’m engaged. I got the girl I want. I got the happy ending I wanted. I held my promise to marry her.  That would’ve been a highlight I cherished forever. And then it’s back to the game as we start talking about wedding things. *sigh* Would it go that way? I’ll never know. Because life didn’t go that way. She’s engaged now. She’s gonna get married. I’m getting the Happily Never After that nobody sees. All I can do now is... do my best to move on and put all of this in the back of my mind.  Possibly forever. Never to be done. >.<