Maybe if it was a different time Ariela wouldn’t have held herself back. Maybe if it was a different place and maybe if she’d done things differently she’d have bright smiles and inviting encouragements to say. Maybe if she’d never left home and never found Grimmbook. Maybe, maybe, maybe. But none of those maybes were the reality she stood in right then, behind the bar of The Midnight Pub and so she didn’t do any of the things she might have otherwise.
She forewent shyly suggesting they split a bottle, just the two of them. Noah wasn’t around and she couldn’t be blamed for wanting to celebrate familia, she would have said. Family was important. Ariela still thought that. That had never changed. But it was a lot harder to put it into practice when… when-
She had a hard time putting it into words. She had a hard time thinking about it. Everything had been so much simpler when the prospect of her relatives were all locked behind the safety of a computer screen or a cellphone.
“You never know what might happen,” Ariela replied with a gentle shrug. It was as close to the actual her her cousin was probably going to get that night.
She looked down, a faint blush tinting her cheeks as the other woman mentioned her coworkers and the luck they’d had in finding her. Was it embarrassment that made Ariela drop her head? No, not that. She could never be embarrassed of the two women she held in such high regard. But still, she felt a pang in her chest at the words. It rang in her ears more as an accusation than just a mere comment.
“No, no, it’s fine. I’m sure they’d want me to have a chance to talk with family.” She even managed a smile as she looked up again, though it faded quickly from her lips. She doubted Ida or Ella even knew why she was spending so much time talking to one random girl. Nor why the one random girl managed to dampen the light she usually carried with her so easily. She’d never talked about her family with either of them. What would they think now?
Oh Ariela, que vamos a hacer?
She was grateful for the reprieve Alana allowed her as Ariela turned to look at the shelf of bottles behind her, pretending to consider them carefully as she thought of what drink her cousin might like. “Well, there is the mojito. Tried and true, you know? A little taste of home?” She regretted the words as soon as she said them and quickly tried to correct course, the last half of her sentence coming out in a breathless rush. “But if you’ve become more of a tequila person, people do say I can make a mean margarita.”
The other wasn't wrong, Alana had gone this long without knowing what might happen but there was little reason to celebrate and it hadn't changed in months now. Maybe even longer if she stood back to think about the last time there was a cause for it. Their family hadn't been together in years, broken pieces that seemed to be whole when looked at by anyone on the outside. Picture perfect. And Alana knew how to smile at the right moment but the effort cost her more than enough with every trip home as she let with less than she had at the start.
It hadn't been enough to deter her actions or the reason behind her move to the states and specifically Grimmbrook, wanting to be with her cousin there despite all the warnings against it. Ones that were glaringly obvious the longer that she lingered at the bar's edge, glances shot back and forth for unspoken answers as she came to terms with the distance herself. And the answers that weren't so easily found.
Though there was no where else to look but at her cousin, who was avoiding her eyes more so than usual as Alana frowned and glanced back at those closest to where she now stood and wished they would move away. "Do they know that you are talking to family?" An innocent enough question, but one that Alana knew wasn't so simple to answer considering they hadn't done more than talk over the phone or internet since Ariela left home. Then again, hadn't that been on her as much as the other with how often that she traveled the world to be anywhere but home.
That was until things tied her home for various reasons, none of which that Ariela knew but would find out eventually as she pressed her lips together in mild confusion as she watched the other turn away from her. "If you're busy, I can go. It is not a problem," she added once more, in case the other felt the urge to flee as much as Alana did while she wanted to disappear rather than feel the awkward tension that couldn't be shook.
"I'm sure whatever you choose will be fine." Better than to make a decision that she might regret as much as the one to come in and think that everything could be easy and carefree between them as once before as she glanced down at her tightly wrung hands before attempting to loosen them as not to look so nervous. "As long as it is not an entire bottle of something." A hint of a smile touched her lips then, but it was a nervous one that disappeared quickly as she breathed out. "Not sure I would be able to handle all that liquor and then those watching would have a real show."