I wish I had a cold pillow to lay my head on eternally

I feel like I can’t breathe

trying to formulate a single fucking thought right now

Do I just not fucking matter to anyone

Genuinely sinking into a pit of shame ✌️

I don’t want to live like this and I know he doesn’t either. I know we can fix it. I just need to wait for him to be ready to.

I dont know why he doesnt hate me. i hate me

I know it’s pathetic. but id wait forever for him if he asked me to.

he’s all I want

I don’t want him to leave

why doesn’t he leave me?? if I make him so miserable?? I don’t understand. I don’t understand anything

I’m just scared.

and he’s going to be angry at me for this. or disappointed. and I’m so fucking ashamed and I just make everything worse. I just want my head to shut up. I’m so fucking scared

I know he’s leaving. I know it’ll happen. it’s literally just a matter of time and if he isn’t sick of me by now he will be. and the worst part is I love him. more than I’ve ever loved in my life. and I know I’ll never move on.

maybe I was just made to be something that people leave