S U N D A Y

I'm going to choose to answer these two anonymous questions, since the other ones I got were incredibly unproductive. Once I answer these two questions I will be finished on this because I really do not have the time, energy or patience to answer and debate every single rebuttal- I don't think I've reached that place of higher consciousness and peace yet and my cortisol levels are through the roof, lmfao!

I think the biggest issue with this post is that people absolutely misread it, completely. Contrary to this popular belief, and excuse my french here, but I could give a flying fuck what you choose to do or not do with your reproductive system. I do not care I really really don't! Perhaps I didn't say it clear enough in the post so I will be very clear here- I do not care if you do not want to have children. I do not care if you do. It is none of my business. There are plenty of things I care about and I'm sorry to say but a lot of you have to get over yourself because I do not care, from the bottom of my heart I sincerely do not care. What my concern is however is the language in which we choose to use when speaking about children because whether you choose to have children or not, we do have to share this space, this world and this planet with children- in the same way we must share this planet with all people of different races, genders, sexualities, religions- etc.

The first anon is a great example of what I've consistently seen, which is misdirected hate. There is a hate around societal pressures to have children (understandable) there is a hate around the idea that your life, especially women's, are not complete or whole without children (completely understandable) None of this has anything to do with children themselves- and all to do with these ideas. Let's discuss those ideas, those ideologies and those systems, absolutely!! We can however do this, without having to use hate speech towards a group of people who are often marginalized to begin with. “You do not own your life after you have children” Whether or not this is true (lol it's a huge generalization and in my case as an actual parent- it's not) also has nothing to do with children and more to do with if a person feels they are equipped to emotionally, mentally, financially and something physically handle having a child or children. Children are not burdens, children are not useless, and not all children are “little shits” and it's so funny because so many people attempted to call me and drag me on the post as being ableist while using ableist language to describe children- which if you didn't know is adultist behavior.

For the second anon, you're absolutely right in me saying “children have literally done nothing” that was a ridiculous hyperbole and I retract that. What I do mean, is that when you look at the position of children in the world from the moment they are born until well into their teenage years- they are the most controlled and vulnerable group of people. Within our laws, social programs, schools, culture and homes, children don't really have a voice and when they do choose to use it they are often reprimanded or not taken seriously (like this is the very example of this they cannot even defend themselves on this platform!) Children may not be “perfect little angels” but they are observant. They make fun of other children or people they don't understand because they see other adults doing it. They are products of their environment. 

I think what disappointed me most about the reaction to that post is that tumblr is a space that absolutely prides itself in openness. When it comes to issues concerning race, gender, sexuality, abuse, mental health there is a very huge and resourceful movement and that's what I've always admired about it. It was very odd to me to see people speaking of children as though they are a sub species of human and as if the issues of race, gender, sexuality, abuse and mental health do not intersect with children as well.

There are all sorts of people of all walks of life who do bad things- but to make a statement such as “I hate women” “I hate bi-sexuals” “I hate Atheists” on the basis of broad generalizations about these groups would have sparked outrage. How did me simply asking people to consider using different language when talking about children- a group of people who are often abused, manipulated, not taken seriously, exploited, looked down upon just for being young and dependent become a debate and an outrage about what people choose to do with their sperm and eggs?

I do not care

What I do care about is how people choose to treat children and think about children so we can better build a society that validates and sees children as productive members of society. You were once a child and there are many adults who view a lot of you who are 16, 17, 18 even 21 as still being young and naive and stupid people. Thats' not true. Think of all the negative and false things people have said about millenials in an effort to silence and reduce them?

With this I want to leave you all with two different texts that can better and much more eloquently break down what I was trying to say

Understanding Adultism by John Bell which is a great introduction into learning about adultism (tw for some ableist language)

and

An Article on Everyday Adultism

and on that note

the responses on that post are so disheartening and ugly

I've seen everything from “I fucking hate children” to someone comparing children to broccoli and saying both are the same thing. I think what is literally shocking to me is that people cannot separate children from parenting, if that makes sense. They feel personally attacked because they think I'm saying “Why won't you have kids? They're great!” When I'm really just saying “why would you say you hate children who are in fact humans just like you and me and not extensions of their parents and a lot of times products of abuse, poverty, the system constantly failing them? They have literally done nothing”

I think people are just taking the post very very personally and are projecting on it. Tbh I don't care what anyone does with their reproductive system, it's not my business, but how we treat and view and speak of children I thought would be like a big issue.