I am Dada

Recently, I had been too busy with everything in my life for the reason that I wanted to do so many things at the same time. Hence, most of the time, I find myself complaining about not having enough time, feeling that everything demands from me and that I’m always very tired. One common example is because after spending so much time at work, I want to do regularly do Urban Sketching, I want to finish my Sketch notes that I’m dreaming of publishing into a book, and do wonderful project using Calligraphy. I also want to make use of the gym and the pool in our place, and also play Squash and Tennis regularly. I want to just spend time at home playing Playstation 4 and get back into gaming again. I want to start doing Front-end coding again and finish my online portfolio. I want to travel and see other countries at least twice a year. I want to remain social and keep in touch with my family and friends back home regularly. And I want to like just really stop everything and just rest and be lazy enjoying our cozy and still-a-bit new home. But I find it hard to juggle all together without feeling guilty when I do something and think I’m compromising something else that I want. :( So many ‘I want’, because so many ‘I can’.

It’s good to go back to the start where it was ‘I cannot’ before all these ‘I can’. Then when I pause and think about it, I become really humbled and grateful. I truly am blessed, in every aspect of my life and I don’t even deserve it. I’m not where I am nor who I am right now because of being dependent on someone or something. Indeed, everything is by God’s grace. In all my ‘I cannot’, He can and He will. And I do firmly believe that the best is yet to come. :)

Then after having a humbled and grateful heart, my complains turns to thanks. To think about it, if I’m not blessed with an awesome position, I won’t even be here. I won’t even be able to afford our place here and all its perks. I won’t even be able to afford artist grade art materials to do more in traditional arts. If I’m not blessed with the talent and skills, I won’t even be able to paint or sketch or write or do Calligraphy. If I’m not blessed with what I have right now, I won’t even be able to travel, and all the other things. If I’m not blessed with what and who I am right now, I won’t even be a blessing to the people around me. See, if I don’t have all these– I won’t even have anything to complain. But better to be blessed with all these and keep a grateful heart instead of complaining all the time.

So grateful right now. So, so much. ♥