AJ

breathe. feel the ache in your shoulders melt away. listen. before making a rash decision tonight, sleep on it. breathe. let your tension dissolve.

my love life is as non-existent as the transition period between halloween and christmas

if ur gonna date me u gotta be comfortable with a lot of casual silence bc i just never fucking talk

Honestly the best feeling in the world is when you pick up someone’s cat, and they’re like “I can’t believe she’s letting you hold her !!!” Like yes. I am the cats friend. The cat whisperer. The forest nymph. The cat charmer. Th e

tumblr in december

I don’t know which gif I’m meant to be

Whenever this shit happens i picture everyone in the board meeting with the final draft up on the projector, and everyone in the room is like We did it… The kids are gonna love this…

wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs 

also wear shoes that aren’t your actual size and use gloves if you have to touch anything

what the hell is this here? A how-to-commit-the-perfect-crime??

Wear a wig. Contact lenses . Change your accent . Change Hand when writing . Layer up to make you look big if your small n vice versa . Contour the hell outta your face.

Get your car interior thoroughly washed, then purposely dirty it up again.

Also use an icicle for the weapon because it melts away Buy a ticket to a show and tell as many people / post it on social media that u went to the show

Y'all suspect af😂

*adds 363,462 more people to list of that I will fuck never with*