Imperfection is Beauty

Until now hindi ko pa rin maintindihan bakit may mga tao na gusto ka masira o magmukha mababa sa mata ng iba tao. Like ano ba makukuha mo? Popularity? Plastic friends like you? Or ATTENTION?! Kailangan ko bumalik ng bahay namin dahil yun tinitirhan namin ni hubby pinapagawa. Ayoko naman mag stay sa bahay ng lola niya sa manila dahil nahihirapan ako. So akala ko yun normal ko buhay dati samin eh ganon pa rin. I was wrong. Napaka dami nga naman chismo at chismosa sa paligid. Una mahahalata nila buntis ako. At makikita mo sa reaction nila. " dalagang ina ba siya?" "nag asawa na siya?" "bata pa niya buntis na agad" "diyan na natutulog yun lalaki sa bahay nila" Una sa lahat WALANG MAY KARAPATAN NA HUGASAHAN O ANO A MAN ANG MGA SINGLE MOTHER. NAPAKA STRONG NILA AT BILIB AKO SAKANILA NA NAKAKAYA NILA MAG ISA PALAKIHIN ANG ANAK NILA NG WALANG TULONG SA IBA PANGALAWA ANO MASAMA SA NAGPAKASAL NA MUNA AKO BAGO MABUNTIS?! PANGATLO MUKHA LANG AKO BATA PERO HINDI NA AKO BATA PANG APAT ANO PAKE NIYO KUNG GUSTO AKO MAKASAMA NG ASAWA KO? SOBRA NAKAKABEAST MODE DIBA MGA WALA MAGAWA SA BUHAY TAPOS PAG SILA CHINISMIS SILA PA TO NAG WAWALA. I KNOW DAPAT DI KO NA SILA PANSININ. PERO NAKAKAPUNO NA KASI TALAGA.

Minsan pag mag isa lang ako sa bed ko. Mapapaisip ako bigla. PAANO KUNG DI KO NAKILALA ASAWA KO? PAANO KUNG DI KO BINIGYAN NG CHANCE YUN KAMI? PAANO KUNG NAGPAPAKATANGA PA RIN AKO SA IBA LALAKI? PAANO KUNG HINDI KO PINANSIN ASAWA KO NUN UNA PA LANG? ANG DAMI PAANO. PERO LAHAT NG SAGOT DIYAN SA MGA TANONG NA YAN -KUNG DI KO NAKILALA ASAWA KO FOR SURE HANGGANG NGAYON IT'S EITHER SINGLE AKO OR SINGLE NGA PERO KAM. U PA RIN NG IBA LALAKI AYAW AKO SERYOSOHIN OR MAY BF NGA DI NAMAN PANG SERYOSOHAN. HINDI SA ANTI GUYS AKO. PERO FEELING KO WALA NA MAS HIHIGIT PA O MAKAKAPANTAY SA ASAWA KO 😍 SOBRA BLESSING NA PINAGTAGPO KAMI NI LORD AT NG TADHANA. NGAYON MAY BABY NA KAMI. AT GRABE NIYA KAMI ALAGAAN DALAWA. SAKANYA KO LANG NARANASAN NA MAGING PRINSESA O REYNA 😭😂😂 CHEESY MAN PERO YAN TALAGA NARANASAN KO SA ASAWA KO. YES DI PA RIN MAWAWALA MINSAN MAY AWAY TAMPUHAN SELOS. PERO IN THE END WALANG KWENTA YUN MGA AWAY NA YUN. KASI SIYA PA RIN TALAGA MAKAKASAMA KO SA PAG TANDA 😍

My Love <3

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many people hate Anxiety but some people want to have it. i dont know why? Honestly having an anxiety really sucks. There will be a time that you’re happy , excited, , wants to go out and have fun and etc. But there’ll be a time that you’ll end up staying in your room crying, thinking lots of miserable things, blaming yourself for everything and sometimes you want to kill yourself . I have an anxiety for 8 years i guess? its been a long time. At first i can still handle it but then i needed some help from the doctors and medicines to keep me calm and let myself be heard. When i’m having an anxiety attack i shut people out, it’s like I dont want them to witness how messed up I’am. I dont want them to know that this side of me exist. When a guy tells me that he likes me the anxiety immediately turns on. I’ll be really scared to like this guy or to like anyone because of my anxiety.I still can’t control it. I always think that i shouldn’t accept any guy because it’ll be unfair for them to like/love me when i’m like this. It’s like there will always be something wrong with me and I’m terrified to hurt someone because I’m like this.I always think of the welfare of other people rather than myself. But then I made myself into introvert , but i’m not telling you to be an introvert, Anyway until now I’m an introvert and i really like it I have all the time for myself , I travel , I buy things for myself, I do whatever I like for myself wothout anyone disturbing me or whatsoever. But somethimes i’m with my friends , family and special someone (LOVE LOVE LOVE) it really helps me al lot to fight this anxiety . So to end this , I hope that those people who have anxiety will read this or whatsoever I want you to know that you’re not alone. There’s someone who can understand you . They can help you . But always remember to help yourself first , Trust me everything will be okay :D

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