hu:MAN

till today, I still vividly remember the day you called me crying, how vulnerable you were with me and at that moment, I knew I had to do anything and everything to be by your side, to tell you things will be alright. 

you don’t know what I went through to get to you, you knew a part of it but what you don’t know is how emotionally taxing it was for me.

you see, I care too much and too deeply. I’m a person who can't stop caring even though you wrong me. Wait, have I mentioned I care way too much? I went through criticism by my loved ones to get to you because I thought you needed my support. Well, I hope you did and I hope I did a good job.

but now things have changed, and I only wish for a hint of ‘I still care’ but what I only sense is ‘get out from my life, I don’t need you’ and it hurts. Never once I thought things would be this way, I have always thought you were a bigger person. Well maybe you are and I just don’t see it.

but whatever it is, and no matter what, I will still keep you and your family in my prayer. I don’t need the same, I will always end my prayers with myself. 

grow to be more developed and mature individuals with unique goals and have limitless drive.

hope we’ll find someone who would be our biggest fan and cheerleader, our personal hype person.

maybe then settle, with your best friend, build an amazing life and thank god for it.

it hurts a little when people compliment my full head of curly hair .

“i love your hair” “aw i wished i had your hair!” “is your hair naturally curly?”

i respond and give a smile and when they turn away, i shrug as little do they know

this full head of has gone through loads

especially in stressful times, where i would unconsciously start plucking out

s t r a n d

b y

s  t  r  a  n  d

like each strand represented the stress which burdened me, being plucked off its roots, now free.

i suffer from trichotillomania, where i feel compelled to pull my hair out

its pleasurable to me, it reliefs me

i still do it till today. i'm more educated about it however, in times like now, i still catch myself reaching for my hair and

somedays i am stronger than my urges