Keep Your Head High

In 3000ad tumblr is the last website

imagine it’s January 1st, 3000. tumblr somehow lives through several dozen companies like the cockroach it is. the code is barely recognizable. the entire website, now a repository of nearly a thousand years of posts, is petabytes in servers that, due to techological advances, are still barely larger than they are today. English isn’t even recognizable and you see this, a post in language a millennium out of date referencing a show that’s been dead almost as long.

“Living weapon” covers a lot and all of it is hot

“stabbing crying killing hot” has a fantastic ring to it

im a simple man i like when things are shaped like other things. stool shaped like a mushroom. pillows shaped like fruit. salt and pepper shaker shaped like two friends hugging. in my ideal world i will have a house stocked entirely with novelty objects shaped like other objects and it will be beautiful.

This is an anti-despair checkpoint! You must share something you're looking forward to before scrolling on.

I think if zoidberg moved into bikini bottom he wouldnt look out of place at all i wouldnt even notice him there

I like how polite he is because he isnt intruding but curious somewhat

life is so hard when you’re a very lazy girl by nature but you also want to do a lot of things in your one wild and precious life

it's always "you gnawed off your own leg to escape like an animal caught in a trap" and never "why didn't anyone try to help you out of the trap" or "why weren't you provided with any other resources to escape the trap with except for your own teeth"

My grandma told me she was happy I got the option to be single and unmarried once.

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself