we can survive this

ughhhh, i am one week late. no i am not pregnant, why? because i haven’t been sexually active for three months.i am starting to feeling fatigued really bad so i might start my period later today. i am hoping i don’t skip a couple of months of no period again because that is not good. my mood swings are really bad. all thanks to my hormones being shitty due to something i can’t control nor birth control can fix. its really lame. 

job hunting time, i can not mentally and physically keep closing by myself and my managers not being able to do the mature thing in writing people up for calling out too many times. i had to close by myself last night and i was just going to walk out. i had enough. i have done this too many times and gave that store too many chances. its time to move on. out of all the stores worldwide, we have the biggest deli and we have a lot of more work and cleaning to do and someone who has been dealing with a chronic medical condition all my life can not keep doing that alone. and if my mangers are not caring enough to hire new people to help then i am leaving. good luck finding a loyal employee. because none of them last a couple months because they realize how management don’t care and there is no opportunities to move up for a career path. they will not promote people for full-time because they don’t want to give out benefits so our new hires and current co-workers quit. so good bye.

i just need to move out of this fucking state. somewhere with free health care and free education. i can’t get the surgery done because i can’t afford it from the insurance i have through my job. i can’t get medicare all thanks to fucking rick scott!  i now have to work two jobs to afford a different insurance plan so i can get the damn surgery done for my fucking endometriosis and pcos! FUCK! SHIT! GOD DAMMNNIT!

so i am going to try seasonique again and see what happens. my situation is so freaking complicated because i suffer from two different diseases. i have pcos and endometriosis, well my doctor suspects it because of the constant pelvic pain and the debilitating cramps i get before during and after my period. and pain during and after sex. i was scheduled to get surgery done to treat and get a diagnosis of endo but the whole thing costs way too much my insurance can not cover it all. so i have been looking around for a full time job so i can afford to get insurance not through a work place. so i am treating the pcos with birth control in hopes it might help..idk birth control never helps because it has estrogen in it and endometriosis is estrogen dominate. uggghh. i feel so defeated. i just don’t want to keep calling out of work because i am in server pain on my period. i literally can’t get out of bed or function. i wish we had free health care. this whole situation would be less stressful and i can fucking live a life. thanks to those that responded to my post. i don’t trust the mirena sorry. if seasonique don’t work again i will try apri.

i have a question, can someone tell me what kind of birth control you take to help with endometriosis pain? i was trying to go in for surgery and my insurance does not cover it. this is the only option i have left. and so i won’t lose my job. heres a list of birth control i have already taken: avienne, depo provera shot, seasonique, orthotricycoline, northeidrone,and provera tablets. these have not helped my pain.

so on march 20th i go in for a diagnostic laparoscopy surgery to remove/diagnose endometriosis. it is endometriosis awareness month. so let me give you and insight of my journey dealing with chronic pelvic pain for 9 years with no definite answers. endometriosis is a chronic disease that affect 176 million women worldwide. it is more common than breast cancer. the average time for a proper diagnosis of the disease is from 8-10 years. because the disease is so complex the symptoms mimic other chronic diseases and some women don't even know they have endometriosis because some don't experience killer cramps, heavy bleeding, cysts, and chronic pain all month long. but they have  issues conceiving. because the disease has spread to a later stage. which then causes delay and misdiagnosis and wrong treatment plans. some women, especially younger women in their teens are told its normal to have painful periods. yes but to an extent. period cramps shouldn't keep you from going to school and keep you from getting out of bed for three days.or keep you from going to work or seeing family and friends. if your period does that to you, that is not normal at all period!. its happened to me ever since i first had a period. and my pain got worse over time. there is more issues than just killer cramps. endometriosis can affect other organs as well like the bowels vagina, and bladder. some people like me experience excruciating bowel movements during menstruation and i experience painful intercourse. and thats embarrassing and affects others relationships especially if they or myself want to have kids one day. and so we get misdiagnose with irritable bowel syndrome. irritable bowel syndrome is horrible and it actually goes two in two with endometriosis. when a younger girl goes sees their doctor complaining about their killer cramps most of the time their doctor does not believe them and they are exaggerating their pain or the doctor tells them they are too young to have endometriosis. wrong! you are never too young. endometriosis is associated with menstruation. so instead of investigating further for answers we get put on hormones..and they don't work for some of us. sometimes it helps but for me it didn't help my painful periods and heavy bleeding. i was put on so many different ones none of them helped. i found a doctor who finally listened to me and wanted to do the surgery for me back in 2009 if the new bcp didn't help. i was on seasonique which didn't help my pain. my insurance expired so i couldn't see my doctor and i had to put up with the pain for a couple more years. then in 2013 i got insurance again i went back at it to figuring out this chronic pain issue..i was then put on progesterone for 6 months and it did help my pain. and then  my doctor said then its probably endometriosis. and to keep taking it. so i did and then i started to get a reaction.i had rashes on my face that almost looked like a lupus rash but i do not have lupus.  i stopped the pills and my face cleared up. the only way to diagnose endometriosis is surgery if you want a diagnosis or do not want to be on hormones or what to get pregnant surgery is suppose to help that. there is no cure for endometriosis. so even getting surgery for a diagnosis and can come back. getting pregnant or getting a hysterectomy will not cure endometriosis. hormones can not diagnose endometriosis alone. if you don't want surgery some girls manage their pain by changing their diet and  exercise. unforntally excersie does not give me pain relief and am in more pain. and i get really depressed about it because i love LOVE to EXERCISE! i played sports when i was in middle school and i LOVED IT! i can't do that anymore. i now have to take my time at 25 years old. i do work and i do use will power to get up and deal with the pain and do my best to not call out of work because i have done that in the past due to serve pain to where i couldn't get out of bed for a week. so i am taking my time doing stuff at work and not rush myself so i won't have that issue again. and loose my job. this disease needs to taken seriously and be investigated as soon as possible than to be put on pills first.