Laters Gators!

_

It was that cold kind of sweat when he woke up from his nightmare.

It was the third time this week that had happened.

The same steps of a familiar routine came to Bucky as he shuffled out of bed, arm aching as always, his hair mused by his hands almost ripping it out in the midst of the night terror.

Water, that’s what he needed.

Water would be the cure, surely.

His footsteps led him to the kitchen, but his heart led him astray from what he knew what would happen as soon as he laid his weary mind back on the feathery pillow in his room.

“It’s 4 am.”

He would have jolted if he hadn’t already seen her sitting at the counter.

“Water.”

“Mmm.”

He should feel afraid of her.

With the lives he had taken, she had taken triple. With the blood on his hands, she waded in a pool of red daily. With the horrors he had committed, she had unleashed a hell unknown to anyone else.

He wasn’t afraid.

She was his, and he was hers, and even if she didn’t remember, he vowed to never be afraid of the darling girl he used to hold so tightly in his arms on the chilly nights in Brooklyn.

“Do you have them too?”

She’d been speaking more English recently.

“Sorry?”

He knew, but he wanted to hear it from her lips.

“The nightmares. Do you have them too?

A nod. A look. An understanding that even in a world that went too quickly and passed on by too fast, they were not alone.

Not at this moment.

“Then I’m not alone.”

_

_

“Does it hurt?”

She had asked him that after he had come home with a busted up lip and black eye.

“No, you know me, doll. Too strong for those punks.”

It had been a peaceful walk with Steve, talking about life and the future they wish they knew about. They had stepped past an alley. It was some girl, Bucky had seen her around town before, but he didn’t know much else besides that.

All three had been cornering here.

Bucky liked to pretend he was the savior. That he was the hero who would swoop in and save the damsel in distress.

And he was.

Except the savior had also gotten his fair share of a beating.

“I told you to be more careful.”

“I am, doll. I promise. I just couldn’t leave her there.”

“I know.”

She didn’t know anymore.

She was too quiet, too afraid, too shy, it was too much.

She didn’t ask if he was okay, or scold him to be more careful, or understand why he swooped in and tried to be a savior when his entire past was plagued with the blood of people he had killed senselessly without even knowing his own name.

It was red all over his palms.

And so was that blasted star.

In the night, when he woke from another nightmare, the skin would burn where the cool metal met the flesh of his body. It squirmed and pulsated with that dull ache he could never quite seem to get rid of, no matter how many doctors had prescribed him some form of a faulty remedy.

“Does it hurt?”

Yes. Painfully.

_

yeah here’s a random snippet from that one AU in my drafts lol

__

She was distant and so close at the same time.

Impossibly possible.

Or was it the other way around?

He could never remember.

The world had moved eons from the dark, cold ice that cradled his worn body for 70 years.

Too much movement in his own opinion.

Then again there was rarely a voice in his throat to say much of whatever was on his mind.

Except when it came to her.

Anything was easier with her around.

That narrow pain behind bones in a beating vessel trapped in memories that didn’t come to her head anymore.

Perhaps it was that jasmine perfume that night when he saw her across that dance floor.

Or maybe it was her eyes.

Maybe the way the light made her skin look radiant in ways the sun reflected off glass chandeliers in those higher up domiciles.

Maybe it was that polka dot red dress she wore, the white dots somehow clinging onto the glow she gave off.

“Excuse me.”

A jolt from a good, faded dream.

She wasn’t wearing her jasmine perfume, there was no dance floor, certainly no dress, and that radiance had disappeared somewhere in the years lost between them.

She walked right past him, somewhere towards the kitchen, or maybe her room where she spent most of her time in.

He couldn’t blame her.

And then she was gone.

Just like a good, faded dream, tucked away in the corners of his mind.

“Can I get a dance, doll?”

“I suppose so, Solider.”

What a good, faded dream.

_

I have a request for your celebration!

11, 23, and 33 from the angst requests for my beloved grumpy sniper Crosshair?

I'm asking for the hurt this time. Please and thank you 😊

Ohhh so it's only okay for me to do Crosshair angst if you ask me for it, is it?? 😜😜 I'm just kidding! Love you, Kels!! 😊

"Never Enough"

11. “Nothing you can say will change my mind.”

23. “I’ll never be enough.”

33. “I thought you loved me?”

Pairing: Crosshair x fem reader

***

What you thought was going to be a simple supply run turned out to be something even worse for you.

You had gone off on your own to get some things while the rest of the Bad Batch were either fixing the ship or handling other things they needed to take care of. Though, you kept thinking you saw something dark behind you, but every time you turned around, there was no one there. Maybe you were just paranoid because this planet had a heavy Imperial presence and there were troopers going up and down the streets. You had to keep your head down as much as possible.

After purchasing some more rations with what credits you had, you figured it was time to head to the Marauder and meet up with the rest of the squad. However, as you passed by an alley, you were grabbed from behind and before you could scream, a hand clamped over your mouth to muffle your sound. You were pushed against a wall and you found yourself face to face with a black and green helmet; one you never thought you'd see again.

Once the hand lowered from your mouth, you hissed out quietly, "What are you doing here?"

The familiar snakelike voice of your former lover, Crosshair, spoke from underneath the helmet, "Just happened to be in the area."

"I don't believe that for a second," you shot back. "Have you been tracking us?"

"For once, no," he said. "I was sent here to help oversee the occupation."

"That's comforting," you said sarcastically.

Ignoring that, he went on, "I spotted you from a distance and followed after you. I...I had to see you."

There was an unusual tremor in his voice as he said that to you. This was different from when you all had last seen him on Bracca when he was determined to beat all of you at every turn in trying to take you all out. Then he removed his helmet and your eyes met his, the familiar brown eyes that had once looked upon you with deep love and devotion. Now, they were hollow, sad and tired. To your shock, his hair was now shaved and there was a ghastly scar on the right side of his head. The state he was in broke your heart...but you couldn't let this get to you. He had made his choice to join the Empire and he'd left you. He'd tried to convince you to join with him, but you wouldn't. While you still loved him deep down, you couldn't so easily forgive him yet.

"Why would you want to see me, Crosshair?" you asked. "Nothing you can say will change my mind."

"You're making a mistake fighting against the Empire," he warned you. "You shouldn't have to live on the run like this. I can give you more. Come with me and you'll be safe."

"Safe? There is nothing about the Empire that is safe," you said back.

He stepped closer to you. "I would protect you."

You scoffed in disbelief. "Like how you protected me when you abandoned me for the Empire?"

"I did what needed to be done."

"You keep telling yourself that."

"I thought you loved me?"

That coming from him stung deep. "How dare you?" you replied in an angry voice through gritted teeth. "You know good and well that I do. How dare you use that against me! If you still loved me, then you'd--!"

Your words were cut off by Crosshair’s mouth suddenly crashing into yours as he pulled you against him. For a second, you wanted to resist and pull away, but feeling him kiss you again after so long overruled whatever logic you had in your mind. Your hands braced against his armored chest and your lips engaged in a dance with his. However, as you kissed him, you realized his kiss lacked the same love and passion as it'd once had. It just felt lustful and empty; devoid of any real emotion. It wasn't the Crosshair you once knew and loved. It hadn't been since he'd first spoken to you in the hangar on Kamino before the squad had fled. You could feel your heart beginning to break and you pulled away with heavy breath.

Crosshair might've loved you once...but it was clear something else had taken your place.

He noticed your reluctance and spoke your name, which only made you want to tear away from him more.

You shook your head. "You did love me once...but I know now that you love something more...power and self-preservation." Gently, you pushed away and took a step back. "I'll never be enough. Not for you. Not anymore."

He couldn't hide his disappointment. It started off as anger for a moment, but then he sighed and hung his head. "I really thought that, of everyone in the squad, you would see reason. It appears I was wrong," he stated.

"Well...it wouldn't be the first time," you replied.

Just then, you heard Wrecker's voice on your comm asking where you were and you looked down at your device on your wrist, wondering if you should respond or if Crosshair would even let you. You glanced back up to look at him.

He was gone.

Admittedly, your heart sank yet again seeing he was gone, wondering where he'd gone or if you'd ever see him again. Part of you hoped you wouldn't so you could spare your heart anymore pain, but at the same time...you hoped you would and that next time perhaps might be different.

"I'm on my way," you replied into your comm. Then before you left the alley, you spoke aloud in a whisper, "Goodbye, Crosshair."

Some distance away, Crosshair secretly watched you leave the alleyway, no doubt returning to the rest of Clone Force 99, his own heart heavy within his chest.

"Goodbye."

Photogirl894's Angst Prompts