Hey, I've been reading through parts of the Old Testament and I have some genuine questions I'd love to talk through with you.
A few passages have really troubled me — like Deuteronomy 22:28-29, where a man who rapes a woman is required to pay her father and marry her with no option for divorce. Or Deuteronomy 22:20-21, where a bride who isn't a virgin is to be stoned to death at her father's door, while there seems to be no equivalent consequence for men.
There's also Numbers 31:17-18, where Moses instructs the Israelites to keep virgin girls for themselves after battle — which reads to me as sanctioned sexual slavery. And passages in Exodus and Leviticus that seem to treat enslaved women as property that can be given as wives.
I'm genuinely trying to understand: How do you reconcile these passages with the idea of a just and loving God? Are these meant to be read as divine commands, cultural artifacts of the time, or something else entirely? I really wanna believe in the bible but these things make me so depressed.
Those are great questions, your feelings are completely valid and it might sound bad but it's great that it makes you depressed because that means you're thinking about it critically whlie believing in a just and loving God. I'd be lying if i said the Mosaic Law isn't difficult to reconcile for me, too, sometimes. Now, bear in mind i'm far from a Bible specialist so i'll just give you my opinion on it (i did consult a priest though so at least there's that heh).
So first of all, good news is that the Mosaic Law doesn't apply to us anymore, Jesus took care of that. And although it's cold comfort if we think of people back then who were bound by it, it's good to remember in light of what i'll be saying later.
Yes, the laws are cultural and historical. While reading OT (and any work that was created millenia, centuries or even decades ago) it's crucial to remember it was written by people (inspired by the Holy Spirit ofc but still, people) within a certain cultural/moral/historical context. So it is bound to be flawed, i'm not afraid to say it, God's Bible is flawed by human idiosyncrasies! St Paul kind of talks about this in Galatians 3. And as his spiritual daughter, Sr. Orianne Pietra René, beautifully said, (i'm quoting from memory) "You can't give solid foods to a baby, they're not ready for it". If you read the entirety of the Bible with that in mind, you can suddenly see how the Law evolved, most evident in Jesus' ministry. And with it evolved the hardened and sinful hearts of humans. God constantly adjusts to human understanding, They show it time and time again throughout the story. Think of John 21,15-17 and Jesus' asking Peter "Do you love Me with all your heart?", Peter replying "I mean I like You somewhat", and Jesus lessening His wording with each question until He was metaphorically crouching at Peter's level. Wherever he's comfortable, He'll work from there.
And you know what? This moral evolution, it's never stopped. One may think that since that Bible is written and done and finished and we're in the "end times", that would mean that we have the whole moral compass set, but that's just not true. If you compare morality from even decades ago to the contemporary one, you can see it's still evolving. Look at the animal handling for example, look how the most recent popes advocated for kindness towards nature and animals, something that no one would probably give a dang about 100 yrs ago, when chains on dogs were the most natural thing in the world. The latest changes in CCC were made in 2016(!) and regarded, among others, condemning the death penalty, again, something that a thousand years before would be A-Okay for any Christian. Keeping an open mind, it isn't hard to imagine a future thousand years ahead of us in which Christians would look at us and think of us as savages due to their standards that would seem outrageous and an impossible burden by our standards today.
Now, ik i've said it's a beautiful story of God maturing Their people and nurturing them morally, and i still stand by it! However, i can see how this is still a cold comfort for the people affected by God's Law In Torah Kinda Flawed by Human Idiosyncrisies back then. The consolation mught be that as awful as it seems today, it was still a huge improvement by the standards of ancient Israel.
Women back then weren't regarded as people in the eyes of law, unfortunately – they were objects, property, their voice wasn't meant to be heard. Patriarchy was through the roof, man. That seems to be true for the examples you've given. The stoning itself was meant to really drive home the gravity of abiding the Law, the punishment had to be severe for people to understand the severity of sin. Now, this may be a bold and controversial claim, but i was thinking maybe as cruel as this punishment was, it somehow worked as an atonement? In a Matthew 18,8-9 style, for it is better to enter the Kingdom of Heaven stoned to death than with a grave sin on your soul? Idk, that's just my trying to make sense of it.
As for your first example with marrying a raped woman, my friend @kaleb-is-definitely-sane explained it beautifully in one of the posts that i sadly lost 😓 but if i find it i'll link it! My two cents are, since women weren't legal entities, it is to be viewed from men's perspective. And in this light it's basically saying: "Hey, she's not your toy, jerk. You want to have your way with her? Then take some responsibility for it, mfer. You want her to be yours? Then act like it. Then commit, then marry her, treat her with respect, and never take it back. And think twice before you do something like this to any woman, cause there's no going back from it. THERE'S NO GOING BACK ONCE YOU RAPE SOMEONE." It still sucks, but it is an upgrade, and makes guys think. Baby steps.
We actually had a Bible study at my parish that touched on similar subjects, and although ours was about 1 Corinthians 11, the topic was Judeochristian laws that we're no longer bound by (or are we?). Not going into detail on that one cause this post is already too long, but what i got from all this was, if you take the broadest perspective possible, it's not always actually about what the law says. Because as i said, moral maturing of the Church is a journey we're still on. Through this lens, the main thing that all of Godly commands really want of you is always going a step further. Even a smallest step at a time beyond cutural norms in your society in the name of God's Love. This is truly what Christian morality should be about, and to my understanding it is what Mosaic Law teaches. I have no idea if it answers all of your concerns. But that's what i got.
