why you still breathing?

       “ things  have  been  pretty  busy  but  not  that  bad .  i’ve  either  been  asleep  or  working ,  but  i  also  never  really  do  much , ”  he  told  her ,  a  small  chuckle  leaving  his  lips .  the  most  he  had  gone  out  recently  had  been  with  ahin  to  the  carnival  and  now  out  to  get  drinks .  it  was  another  reason  why  it  surprised  him  so   much  that  he  was  willing  to  actually  go  out  and  do  things  with  her .  “ how  have  things  been  with  you ?  anything  exciting  happen ? ”  he  asked ,  peering  over  at  her .  lukas  purposely  stayed  clear  of  the  person  in  her  life  that  he  really  didn’t  want  to  talk  about .  in  any  other  situation ,  he  would’ve  done  the  polite  thing  and  asked  how  her  husband  was  too ,  but  he  just  couldn’t  bring  himself  to  do  it .  “ i  think  i’ll  have  a  glass  of  whiskey  for  the  occasion , ”  he  told  her  before  waving  over  the  bartender .  once  the  bartender  took  his  order ,  he  asked  lukas  what  his  ‘ girlfriend ’  wanted  to  order ,  which  made  him freeze  up  as  soon  as  he  registered  it .  “ she’s  actually ,  uh ,  just  a  friend , ”  he  stammered  out  in  reply ,  suddenly  feeling  like  it  was  a  hundred  degrees  in  the  room .  turning  slightly  towards  ahin ,  he  hoped  the  dim  lighting  of  the  room  would  cover  his  burning  face .  “ what  would  you  like ,  ahin ?  i’ll  treat  you  since  you’re  treating  me ,  deal ? ”

       a  smile  instantly  lit  up  his  features  when  he  saw  ahin ,  unable  to  hide  how  glad  he  was  to  see  her .  “ you  look  beautiful  and  i’m  not  just  saying  that , ”   he  complimented  in  return ,  wrapping  an  arm  around  her  waist  to  pull  her  in  for  the  hug ,  squeeze  a  little  longer  than  usual .  the  feeling  of  her  hands  down  his  shoulders  made  him  wish  that  they  had  lingered  there  just  a  little  longer .  shaking  the  thought  out  of  his  head ,  he  returned  his  attention  to  the  present  moment .  “ very ,  very  bored , ”   he  joked  with  a  slight  laugh ,  reaching  for  the  door  to  the  bar  to  open  it  .  “ actually ,  i  wasn’t  bored  at  all .  i  just  had  a  break  from  work  today  and  i  really  wanted  to  see  you . ”  realizing  how  the  words  might  sound ,  he  quickly  scrambled  to  correct  himself .  “ the  fair  was  really  fun  so  i  just  thought  we  should  hang  out  again . ”  coughing  awkwardly ,  he  held  the  door  open  for  the  both  of  them  and  stepped  inside  after  her .  “ i’ll  be  honest ,  i  don’t  go  out  drinking  that  much  but  i  thought  it’d  be  nice  to  sit  down  and  catch  up , ”  he  told  her  as  he  guided  her  towards  the  counter  of  the  bar  and  choosing  seats  for  them  that  weren’t  too  close  to  the  other  people  there .  

     areum had always been a very openly hugging person, and though there were frequent times that she found herself wondering if she was overstepping boundaries, her sisters were always ones she never needed to worry about. every hug felt like home no matter where they were, and she truly cherished every single one. luckily she picked a good round of girls that never seemed to mind this openly affectionate lifestyle she chose. when ahin had mentioned how long the two had been together, though, areum’s eyes grew wide in shock along with the drop of her jaw, an effective shout whisper of “seven?!” coming from her lips for a bit of added dramatic effect. it was now her turn to attempt to quiet her own giggles from this small over dramatization, not to mention her sister’s small little joke she had made towards her husband. readily accepting the stool her sister had grabbed for her, she took a set with her before she spoke up again, “well that really is good. i know babies kind of show the make or break of a relationship, and when you share the responsibilities i think is when it makes it. not to mention i know you guys would, anyway.” areum was thankful that she knew ahin had found herself a man with a wonderful head on his shoulders, and that if need be he’d be by her side in a moment, which is what she knew the girl deserved. “you know you can always call me, too, of course. in general or for spiders, but if you ever did need help with a little screaming one. auntie areum wouldn’t blink an eye to help her favorite niece or nephew….at least until the next one comes along.” she laughed once more at this thought, especially since they were only talking about the first one just now, and areum was already talking about the next baby like it’d be anytime soon. with the next words the girl said, she agreed with only the first half, knowing that the man really would be a wonderful dad when the time came, but there were hints of a scowl at her next remark that the older sister couldn’t hide initially. “what in the world are you talking about, ahin?” she was perplexed if the woman would think she was anything less than fantastic. “you’d be an amazing mother, and if you’re not sure enough about it yourself then i’ll be the one to be sure of it for you.” with this she gave a firm nod to support her words.

       lukas  could  feel  his  heart  drop  a  little  when  she ,  at  first ,  turned  down  his  offer .  he  mentally  kicked  himself  for  calling  her  up  so  late  and  getting  ahead  of  himself  like  that  without  thinking .  he  was  about  to  assure  her  that  he  understood  when  she  spoke  again  and  he  immediately  perked  up ,  a  small  smile  appearing  on  his  face  even  though  she  couldn’t  see it .  “ really ?  i’ll  make  sure  it’s  worth  being  up  so  late !  there’s  this  place  near  where  i  live  called  the  tank  that’s  really  comfy  and  nothing  too  over  the  top .  we  can  meet  there , ”  lukas  told  her excitedly .  “ i  can’t  wait  to  see  you , ”   he  added ,  much  more  softly  than  his  previous  words ,  before  ending  the  call .  the  next  thing  that  he  decided  to  do  was  pick  out  an  outfit ,  something  that  was  casual  but  still  made  him  look  put  together .  after  changing  into  his  outfit  ,  he  sprayed  on  a  bit  of  cologne to  top  it  all  off .  it  might  have  seemed  too  much  just  for  a  casual  outing ,  but  there  was  a  part  of  him  that  really  wanted  to  impress  ahin .  once  he  was  ready ,  he  exited  his  place  and  went  outside ,  choosing  to  walk  since  the  bar  was  so  close .  it  didn’t  take  him  that  long  to  get  there ,  so  he  decided  to  wait  outside  for  her .  

@ahinhqs // “did you know i still have some notes we used to write each other to during class?” caiden admitted with a sheepish smile. “that’s probably pretty embarrassing to admit, and i’m sure my past self is kicking my present self for telling you this, but i have a reason, i promise. we talked about this one diner, like it was one of our usual hang out spots? and we argued over which was better, their chocolate shakes or their strawberry shakes. naturally i got curious and i feel it’s a debate we should really explore once again.” there was an excited smile on caiden’s face today, because he almost felt like a kid that was excited about something as small as visiting a diner with an old friend. he was sorting through all the memories he had stored over years and years of his life, rereading old letters and scanning all the old photos he had. the letters him and ahin used to pass each other made him laugh, and while he wished it would have triggered something, he hoped that maybe reliving it would be the next best thing. “i know this is probably kind of childish, but i appreciate you following along. hopefully i didn’t pull you from anything to important?” caiden asked as he soon reached for the front door of the diner and held it open for ahin to walk inside first. “this does look like a pretty cool place to hang out after school. did we, like, have a booth that we always sat at?” 

       it wasn’t until ahin teased about probably not going out at one in the morning that areum remembered that soon her nights would have to end much earlier nowadays. the woman got no greater joy than teaching with her little ones, not wanting to change her career field in over a million years, but she did enjoy the summer time while she could. “you have a good point there…” she trailed off, quickly making a point before she would forget about it, “but! i think if i were to stay up late for anything, tacos with my sister would be at the top of the good reasons list. or burgers. you know i’m not the pickiest when it comes to food.” now that she thought about it, a late night dinner run with all of the girls was desperately overdue, especially since all of them had so much going on in each of their lives, but there isn’t a day that areum wouldn’t sacrifice sleep if it meant time spent together. it was almost surprising though at how quickly the older sister grew excited from the small question the younger one gave her, not even realizing until after her response that it didn’t necessarily have to mean that she was already pregnant. this realization did calm the woman down a bit, her smile growing a bit sheepish from how loud she had just been, directing a loud whisper of sorry more for show to the window. loving the feeling of ahin’s hands that were now around her own, she was still excited nonetheless even if the girl wasn’t pregnant just yet. “ahin that’s so amazing, i’m so happy for you! truly,” with this she squeezed the younger girl’s hands, going in to pull her into another hug once more. “i didn’t even know you guys were wanting little ones just yet,” she spoke softly before pulling away from the other’s hold, letting her hands grasp her sister’s once again, a radiant smile still evident across her features. “do you think he’ll get to be home more often when the time comes? cause you know what they say, that it takes a village and all?”

“honestly? it does sound really boring,” sunni agreed with a light laugh. “i mean, only kids can’t blame everything on their younger siblings, and that alone just sounds like the worst.” she was teasing of course, though it happened more than once when sunni would always push what happened onto yeri a couple of times. it always sparked a fight, and she always got in trouble in the end, but she’d never take those memories back for the world. despite all the fights and arguments and disagreements, she loved her sisters more than anything. sunni truly believed she wouldn’t be nearly as strong as she was today if it wasn’t for the experience she had from her siblings. of course, no one was really as strong as areum and ahin. they were the two oldest, the ones sunni and yeri looked up to when times where hard. they always seemed to focus on the best and never show a weak side, most of the time at least. sunni was horrible at hiding her emotions, always wearing them somewhere on her sleeve, but with these two? they could hide the whole world so long as her and yeri were happy and taken care of. sunni just wanted to repay ahin all that she’s been through and had to give up while they were growing up. so many times she’s been able to lean on her sisters for help and guidance, but surely ahin needed to do the same, right? “you promise? you know how nosy i am, i like to know all the latest details,” she teased with a small, playful smile. the others words quickly released an deep emotion inside of her, causing sunni to let out a small, shaky sigh, because maybe she liked to pretend she was strong and didn’t need others to worry about her just like the rest of them. “i think i’m gonna be really happy, soon,” she admits with a small shrug. “i mean, i’m terrified of course, because my last relationship wasn’t the best thing in the world, but…i really like this boy named pj? and we had a bit of a hiccup, and i’m pretty sure areum hates him now, but we apologized for what happened and really want to try to move forward with each other, but…i dunno, i’m scared i’m going to mess everything up. i’m sure everyone thinks the great sunni song can’t possibly tie herself down to just one person, but he means so much to me already, y’know? ugh, feelings are so gross and complicated, ahin, why can’t i just be a soulless hoe?” 

     "that just might be fire you’re playing with, girl. if you don’t be careful i’ll be that crazy lady with the nighty mask still on her forehead, sneaking in to bring you tacos at one am,“ the girl couldn’t help but joke, the thought of her sneaking in at such an hour even giving her a harder laugh. but then again, she still had a feeling that her sister wouldn’t mind, as long as they didn’t wake her husband in any way in their midnight hour. because of this she gave the girl a quick glance of genuine appreciation, and she knew that if anyone else were in the room at that moment they wouldn’t be able see more than a look. but she knew her sister would know exactly what she meant, even if it were from their ‘sister telepathy’ as they sometimes liked to call it. what she did in her past life to get sisters as incredible as the ones she was blessed with, she’d never be able to guess, but she was thankful nonetheless. a snicker passed her lips when ahin rolled her eyes at the blonde’s suggestion, but she was still adamant that she knew it would help the girl. "in that case, what better way to start than with your favorite big sister?” this was somewhat of a joke she liked to play with ahin, since areum was her only older sister, and areum truly didn’t like to play favorites with the three of them, this was a phrase she could get away with time after time again. making a mental note to keep up with bringing her goodies to get on david’s best side possible, her gaze immediately fixated on her sister after she had said everything was fine, eyes slightly narrowing to indicate that she knew the girl and she knew when she was lying to her. right as the older sibling was ready to open her mouth to argue, her eyes immediately went wide instead, her jaw dropping as it followed suit. something between a gasp and a scream escaped the girl as she couldn’t help but jump just where she was standing. “OHMIGOD, AHIN ARE YOU PREGNANT?!” she shouted probably louder than she had in some time, likely alerting the neighbors if they didn’t already know yet. As she realized her volume however, her hand quickly covered her mouth, eyes still wide in shock.

◟  *      ›      /     @ahinhqs

       lukas  had  been  busy  over  the  last  few  days  working  at  the  coffee  shop  .  the  long  hours  had  tired  him  out  and  because  of  that ,  as  soon  as  he  was  done  working  the  only  thing  he  wanted  to  do  was  get  into  bed  and  sleep  until  he  had  to  wake  up  and  do  it  all  over  again .  the  moment  that  he  was  able  to  have  some  time  to  himself ,  he  had  the  urge  to  do  something  because  he  had  been  stuck  inside  all  for  days .  the  first  person  that  he  thought  of  to  ask  to  hang  out  was  atticus ,  but  then  another  name  came  to  mind  and  that’s  how  he  ended  up  calling  ahin .  “ ahin ?  it’s  lukas !  i  was  just  wondering  if  you  wanted  to  maybe  get  a  couple  drinks  or  something ? ”  he  spoke  into  the  phone  once  she  had  answered .  pausing ,  he  worried  that  maybe  it  was  too  forward  of  him  to  be  asking  her  to  spend  time  with  him  when  she  possible  had  other  things  to  do ,  or  a  husband  she’d  rather  be  spending  time  with .  “ if  you’re  busy  or  anything ,  that’s  okay .  i  just  had  a  day  off  and  i  wanted  to  ask , ”  he  added  quickly .  though ,  there  was  that  part  of  him  that  hoped  she  wouldn’t  turn  him  down  because ,  if  he  was  being  honest ,  he  really  wanted  to  see  her .  

“i know, it’s pretty clear you’d probably let me live here if i wanted to,” she teased the other with a small smile. although sunni quickly felt bad for not taking up that offer more than she felt like she should. while she loved visiting all her sisters equally, the main reason she went to areum more than anything was because she was the only one who knew of the demon that still lurks inside her mind. would ahin hold a grude against the younger one for keeping such a secret? would it make her feel like a bad sister that sunni didn’t open up sooner? these were questions she truly didn’t want to be answered, but she knew this secret needed to be said from her mouth only, instead of from someone else. she took the glass ahin had handed to her and quickly took a sip or two. “i mean, i legit have the best sisters in the world. i think that’s more rare to hit than the jackpot itself, even if there have been a few fights where i wondered wha it would be like to be an only child.” she gave her older sister a quick and playful wink before taking another sip of the wine she was handed. “mm, steel, of course. most days i feel that way, but lately i’ve felt like the most fragile glass in the world. just…had a lot on my mind, a lot to deal with personally and…i suppose it’s taken quiet a big toll on me, so…” her bottom lip sinks between her teeth, unsure of how to really start this conversation. although she was happy to keep focusing on ahin and how she was doing. “happy, hm? that’s not just an answer you’re throwing out because it’s the easiest one to give, right? i just want to make sure you’re truly happy with where your life is at right now.”