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customer:

How fucked up does a person have to be to completely isolate themselves from everyone? All day every day I isolate myself and even when I have to see people at work I have to drink two cans or redbull minimum to liven myself up enough to smile and tell them I’m okay without causing worry.

I feel so bad when I don’t answer texts or calls but I just can’t. I don’t know what it is inside me that won’t let me do so. I read a text and then not reply because when people ask me how I am I never want to answer. I don’t think anyone I know would expect the answer ‘no, I’m not okay. Have you ever imagined what it’s like to die? Have you ever re-played it in your head over and over again because you don’t have the confidence to actually kill yourself.’

So instead of facing my problems I let my anxiety, panic attacks, depression and suicidal thoughts control me and still right this minute I’m contemplating on whether to use pills or rope or razors to kill myself.

I’m not saying I want to be normal, just not so fucked up is all.

But then again..