i'm just here for the violence

To feel anything deranges you. To be seenfeeling anything strips you naked. In the grip of it pleasure or pain doesn’t matter. You think what will they do what new power will they acquire if they see me naked like this. If they see youfeeling. You have no ideawhat. It’s not about them. To be seen is the penalty.

It was somehow completely impossible for me to rationally and sensibly grasp these simple facts. I saw nothing but messages: hidden, intricate, subtle messages.

heres something for you to think about

Today I have so much to do: I must kill memory once and for all, I must turn my soul to stone, I must learn to live again.

when she finally told the world that she was lost, it twisted and turned  until the ground beneath her faded and she was left falling, alone and unwanted.   i don’t think you realise how hard she had already tried.

You listen and you know / you could live a better life than you do, be / softer, kinder. And maybe this year you will / be able to do it.

–but no no no I DON’T WANT TO BE LOVED, I DON’T WANT TO BE FORGIVEN, LET ME REDEFINE GOD INTO SOMETHING I CAN BECOME