02272016

Hi guys I’m back. Char! 😁 After a couple of months, I’m gonna write again. This is about a movie that I’ve recently watched na super kaduper nakarelate ako sa story ni Tintin ng very slight lang naman. Hahahaha!

Anyway, so just like what I did last year, I made a little movie review and hugot na din about sa Valentines Movie offer ng Star Cinema last year 2014. Starting Over Again. Kasi syempre, nakarelate ako dun ng bonggang bongga. As in hagulgol ang iyak ng lola mo nun sa sinehan. Kasi ang sakit sakit non. Sobra! Pero, tapos na yun. 😬 So anyway, di ako nag sulat about Crazy Beautiful You na pinalabas last year simply because, kasi di ako nakarelate dun. Wala. Wala talaga. Wala akong lovelife non. Coke! Zero!! Pak. Ganern.

So eh di eto na, trailer pa lang nung movie alam ko nang makakarelate ako. Kasi pucha naman teh, tungkol sa paasa at umasa eh. Galing tumayming diba? Leche, kahit na 7 months na nakalipas? Timing pa ba yan? Di maka move on?! Hahaha. Tapos na 3 months rule oh. May jowa na yung tao. 🙊 Hahahaha! 😂

Going back, at dahil alam kong relate ako pinilit ko talagang makanood. Kahit mag isa lang ako. Uggh. I can’t even… I’m unable to even, I lost my ability to even… Hahahaha! Laughtrip talaga shet. Saya mag isa. Wooooh! Kakainspire. 😅

Yung kwento ni Tin, siya kasi yung tipo ng taong parang sabik siyang mahalin din siya. Kasi siya ibang klase magmahal. Totoo at tapat, all out. Alam mo yun? Pinakitaan lang siya ng katiting na appreciation o admiration akala niya mutual na yung feeligs. Di ba? Parang tanga. Nakakainis kaya yung ganung feeling. Lalo naman kasi kung sobrang paasa nung guy. Syempre, hopeless romantic eh. Kahit ilang beses nang nasaktan, siya pa din kasi yung tipo nang babae na naniniwala pa din sa love. Pak! Ganern! Yun! Kahit sabihin pa nilang bobo, tanga. Wala eh. Masarap mainlove! Hay naku! Nakakainis pa dun nag coffee coffee din sila ni Jake, nag beach, nag bar at nag SPG. Hay naku! Galing talaga! Hahahaha! Kalowka!

Pero may isang part dun na after mag operation asim check part one yung dalawa, yung nakain na sila. Tinamaan ako dun ng ang lala! Sabi kasi ni Jake, “Alam mo kasi Tin, pag nakikipagdate ka. Yung surface lang ipakita mo. Surface lang, wag mong i-reveal lahat. Wag mo ikwento yung pang MMK mong buhay agad, chill lang.” Oo na! Mali na ko. Ang bilis ko kasi eh. Nakakainis di ba? Tintin na tintin ang peg. Ano bang malay ko. Mali pala yun, sana ininform niya ko di ba?! Hahaha! Pero, seriously. Sa totoo lang tama yun, wag all out agad. Na tipong most hidden secret mo eh na-ikanta mo na sakanya, eh kasi nga siopao ka. Asang asa ka! Kala mo you can already trust him na, even your life inentrust mo na sakanya. Sus! Wag ganun. Next time ah. Wag ganun. Dapat chill lang. 😎

Another thing na natutunan ko sa story. Wag mapagpanggap. Maging honest sakanya, lalong lalo na sa sarili mo. Hindi porket nag yoyosi siya eh gagawin mo na din. Or nainom siya, iinom ka na din. Gusto mo lang sabayan siya. Yun pala, di niya trip yung mga babaeng nagyoyosi edi dun pa lang waley ka na. O kaya naman, di ka open sa pagiging cheater mo o playboy. Dapat honesty is the best policy. Kasi ang true love kahit ano o sino ka pa, kung mahal ka niya talaga tatanggapin ka niya di ba? Don’t try to change yourself! Mas maganda nga yung nagustuhan ka ng isang tao, dahil totoo ka. Lalong lalo nang totoo ka sa sarili mo. 😉

DTR. Define the relationship. Oo, lagi nga kayong magkatext, magkachat at nagkikita. Tapos may SPG pang nagaganap kaya ka ASG… E dapat may label na yun. Know your worth! Kasi tama yung sinabi dun ni Esang sa movie, and it really applies in real life! “Kapag ang lalaki nakuha na ang gusto nila, bigla na lang yan mawawala.” Gets?! So please lang, alam ko na kapag may SPG na nagiging emotionally attached ka na eh. So kung immune ka namang mag SPG without labels and no feelings involve edi keri. Gora! Pero teh, sinasabi ko sayo. Tama yung sinabi ni Jake, girls gave meaning sa lahat ng actions after SPG. So, just. Please. Stop. Wag kang tanga!! Wag kang ma-fall. It’s a trap! DTR!

At yung mga ex na yan. Wala ka talagang panama diyan kasi parte yan ng history eh. Pero yung gawing dahilan ang ex, para lang i-stop yung kung anong meron kayo. Wow. Just wow! Bilib na din naman na talaga ako sayo ano?! Wait. Wala na pala sa movie yan. Hahahaha! Eh kasi naman Gillian, ang tigas ng ulo mo eh. Sinabi nang what you dont know won’t hurt you eh. Sige ka pa din. Nasa Bacoor ka naman wala ka sa Trece eh bakit ang martir mo?! Ikinatutuwa ba nang mga mata mo ang nakikita mo? E lalo lang dinudurog niyan ang puso mo e! Anak ng… Ano eh. Kainis! 😆

Bottomline dyan is, wag magpaasa. Kunwari pang ganito ganyan. Pero yun pala kunwari pala talaga yung actions and words na ginawa at binitawan. Di man lang naisip yung feelings ko, ay niya pala. Haha! Pucha naman kasi, di ka naman capsule ateng. Masyado kang expectorant eh noh! Sinasabi ko sayo kayo man o hindi, may label man o wala… masakit umasa! Lalong lalo na yung umasa sa wala!! May mga pakeme keme ka pang ganyan, tapos ano?! Kunwari lang pala. Good bye? Agad!? Ganun?! Ang lala…

Going back to the movie, (hahahahahahahahaha!) ang lamang lang siguro sakin ni Tin, eh yung nagkatuluyan sila. Ang laki pala ng lamang diba? La e. Ganun talaga. Hehe. Plot twist. Walang forever! Si Jake at Telay pala talaga. Hahahaha! Pero ayun nga, para sa guys diyan somewhere out there. At ikaw, baka nababasa o mabasa mo to one day. Inuulit ko. Love is a decision. Love is a commitment. Hindi yan installment ika nga ni Tintin. Di ba? Sabi ko. Kapag nagmahal ka, lahat kasama. Di lang puso kundi pati narin buong magkatao at kaluluwa mo. Ganun! Kaya umayos kayo guys ah. Wag kayong pa-fall! Wag kayong paasa! Kasi masakit. Sobrang sakit. Kala niyo sa isang relationship lang na nag break masakit?! Hindi noh. Kahit naging kayo o hindi masakit pa din! Masakit pa din! Masakit pa din eh!!!!

Tomorrow is the last page of my book year 2015. Yup, and just like the other years that have passed this year's a tough on as well. In terms of everything.

Let it be known here and now that I tried. That for once, I took a shot at something. That I took a risk, that I didn’t mind what other people might say and took a chance. That even for a moment, I let my heart skip a beat for you.

Right now I can’t find the right words to say. I can’t find a reason for writing this. Maybe my guilt is eating me up. How could someone turned down a girl who would do anything for a guy? How could someone be so foolish not to see the simple things, the simple acts of love? Right now, any guy would probably want to be in my place. To be loved and cared for by a girl who has seen your flaws, but adores you, anyway. Someone who would defy what other people’s opinions just to follow his heart, who can see and appreciate who you are, who would do anything to please you, who would still come back for you, and love you no matter how hard you push her away.

I did picture us together or at least what it would be like to be with you. We would probably have done that early morning jog we had planned because you’re just so supportive of my fitness goals. You would have probably danced and played with me in the rain because you know I love to. We would have watched all our favorite movies, debated on how the movie I’m watching is far more awesome than the book that you’re reading, and a lot more if only I tried harder. I could have taken it to another level, but I chose not to.

Why? Maybe because of that first love that I couldn’t get over. It’s probably because I’m afraid. I’m frightened that I couldn’t love you the way you love me. I’m afraid that all of my bitterness towards my past relationships would be poured onto you and you’ll drown—not by my love but by hatred and resentment. How can a guy so wounded and lost be able to learn to love again? How will he be able to trust again when he’s been betrayed and cheated on enough already? I couldn’t afford to be vulnerable after everything. You told me once that my harsh and cruel personality is just a front, a defense mechanism so I won’t get hurt. “If I won’t be strong then who would protect me?“You told me you would. I know you will even if I won’t tell you, but I don’t want you to.

I don’t want you to go around fixing the mess that I did to myself, to put a Band-Aid on my wound and stitch the scars. I don’t want to burden you because I think I’m not worthy of you. You don’t know how much I feel loved by you and it kills me that all I did was hurt you. I want you to know that you put a smile on my face on those nights when you would sing me to sleep. That you let me believe I’m worthy to be loved. It would be so selfish of me to tell you to wait until I get better, until I finally find myself. I have hurt you enough, I know that.

I know that it’s not enough but I’m going to tell you anyway: I’M SORRY. I’m sorry I took your feelings for granted. I’m sorry for giving you false hope, for letting you be stuck in the friend zone, for not trying hard enough, for being a coward. My only wish is that you find that person who will love you more than you love him, someone who’ll say “I love you” back to you. I hope you get the happiness that you deserve. It could’ve been me.

Don’t you worry about me. Only time will tell (with all of my efforts to push myself to move forward) when I’ll be able to open my heart again. I want you to know that you have been a part of that journey and you made me see the brighter side of things. Thank you for those little moments that we’ve shared.