Agnes 'Aggie' Robshaw

As he rested his bum back on the couch, his hands moved to brace lightly on his thighs. His stare moving to the floor. "The only positives here is that I've already been through this — am going through this — so.. if she does.. if she inherits my bad parts, we won't go in blindly the way my parents had to, with me. We'll know doctors... we'll know medicines, surgeries, treatments.." That baby will find its way on a donor list as quickly as humanly possible, if Fitzroy had his way. "Whatever it takes, they will have it." He imagined his own parents had to have stood in a room like this once, so long ago, whispering back and forth to each other about what they were going to do, what this might take and the sacrifices they were willing to make. It was all truly humbling, to know how much they did love him, because he experienced it now, with this life growing inside of Agnes. How all his focus and desires for them was simply to see they were as healthy and happy as he could make them.

His gaze rose back up, to study the woman as she claimed to have attempted reconciliation with Emily. "It's not something that can be fixed overnight, you know.." Those two would not make sense to him. They had spent too long down one path that they were both quite unwilling to travel another. As much as Agnes claimed she didn't not like Emily, it wasn't true. Maybe she had no animosity, no ill will over Emily's valid feelings about how things had panned out, but Agnes still would rather the woman not be in the picture. That was loud and clear. The only reason that would be the case, was because she couldn't trust him. She said she did, but if she did, Emily wouldn't matter to her one little bit.

"Am I not fighting now?" Confusion rippled through him, registered on his face. Looking down at himself, then around the room, as his arms held aloft in the air as if to say, look at me. "I cannot change the past, I do not own a magical timepiece to go back and redo the moments I wish I could," he defended himself. "I made a whole bloody mess of the situation, Agnes, I know that, and it was all from my own fears and insecurities and secrets you didn't even know about yet. Just allowing myself the thought of having you when I felt I couldn't, was bloody torture." His hands came together, to rub over the lower half of his face once more, stressed, upset all over again over things he couldn't change. "I was an idiot, I was dramatic and drastic.. I don't know what else to say for it.. I can't.." He shook his head. "But I'm right here, now. I'm not back there with her. Does this matter nothing?" Fitzroy's hands dropped to his lap, staring at her. "If you ask me to, I will end everything, for you. If that is what you need from me, then just say the words." He would never understand it, never agree about it, never know why it was necessary, to remove anyone important in one's life like that. It'd be akin to asking her not to see her own family, like Theodore, because Teddy didn't like him. But if she asked, he'd do it, and Emily would never forgive him for it.

Agnes was no more guaranteed him than his own life. If she did ask him this, then one day decided to leave him, Fitzroy would be left without both. And that's just how it'd have to be, the gamble he would take, to show Agnes he was serious. That he was hers.

The words almost pulled a sob past her lips but it was stifled behind her hand, choked off and denied because even that much acknowledgement was scary. It was terrifying. They'd wasted so much of the time they could have had together and now who knew how much time they had left? She didn't want to be a focus to taint them, even if it was part of them. Even if it was a fact that couldn't be denied because it was truth. "I know! But how am I supposed to learn to accept it when you keep it from me still? Tie toe it around me? It is hard and it is scary, Fitz, but we're supposed to handle all this stuff together? I'm here for you, I'm your partner and no matter if it's hard I want to try. Even if it scares I want to try. You don't have to do it alone anymore." Breaking through the thickness in her voice she implored him. "We can help each other through it."

Through all her emotion a little, bitter sort of laugh accompanied a shake of her head. "She made it very clear, Fitz... she didn't want me to make more tries. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to you because she's your best friend and I'm sorry to her for... for not being a good one myself. I don't know what more to do, and I'm not going to force my friendship on someone who doesn't want it." Swallowing hard back her wounded ire, Agnes focus on him her face as her hands did the talking because she couldn't trust her voice not to unleash her tears. I watched you look at her for years and thought you were in love with her. That still lives in here. She motioned to her head, as full of jumbled traumatised clutter and hormonally heightened emotions as it was.

'Just allowing myself the thought of having you when I felt I couldn't, was bloody torture.'

"You think I don't know?! You think it wasn't torture for me in the same way?" The exasperation was evident, but her resolve was as firm with her tone as she denied him his offer. "No. I will not take from Emily more than I already did. I am not that person." Jaw so tight it ached near her ears. "But you cannot blame me for my insecurity, Fitzroy. Not after everything, when I know that you must understand it if you just stop and look at it from my side. But I am trying and when something shakes me you should be here to reassure me not... not get defensive!"

Though it felt like their fight ended there as the bluster went out of the room with her word and his repeating of it, the tension remained behind the tired slope of her shoulders and the downward pull to the corners of her lips and her brows as she nodded her head to confirm. Brows sliding to attempt to meet in the middle as she looked at him like he'd grown a second nose in the middle of his face. "That fact that you even wondered..." That's where the real hurt lay, and she turned to head for her bedroom hands limp as she signed. Going to bed. I'm tired.

Leaving him there with his thoughts, she'd disappeared up the stairs, closing the door behind her so she could lay in her bed and try to scroll away her feelings. She hated when they fought, there wasn't any reason for it really. Her own silly insecurities and flaring emotions. As a particular tiktok came up, an idea blossomed, growing as she lay there and pondered if it might just do the trick to put this all to bed.

"I know he is." That was a good point and she'd almost let herself forget it. "But... It's probably for the baby. I mean... what if we need to get married for it to be like... legitmate." For it to have not the claim to the Duncombe name, but to the security and quality of life that came with it. She wanted their baby to have the best of everything, every opportunity at a blessed life. Laughing out loud at her suggestion, Aggie gave a little shake of her head. "I'd be the worst at icing him out, but I'm more than a little sure that you're right about how much he'd hate it if I did." Maybe it would be worth a try at some point.

It's his fault, if that happened. Fitzroy wasn't trying to be overbearing, he was being overly cautious. Terrified, legitimately, that he might cause their baby to come out as imperfect (or worse) as he was. And it was there, in how stiff and quiet he was, after confessing this. The fear of it radiated off of him like a stench. What if they went through all of this, only for the worst possible scenario to happen? They hadn't mentioned this at all to each other but surely, surely, Agnes had to have her concerns over it too, that she kept and hid away from him just as much as he had. Because she wouldn't want to hurt him.

"You don't like her either," he returned, though quieter, because he really didn't care about all of that. For him, it was a non-issue, something he knew without a doubt hadn't happened and there were no plans for anything to happen, with Emily. He cared about her, she was his friend. He hoped that would remain the case, too, but the two women were certainly making it difficult. "I don't even talk about her," and he didn't mention Agnes while speaking with Emily either, normally. Fitzroy, in fact, went well out of his way to tiptoe around both of them, so neither had to court the other with attention they didn't want to give. "She's just my friend, Agnes.." His hands held out at his sides, in a helpless shrug, trying not to sound upset when he was, because he had a feeling she wanted him to stop being friends with her. "What do you need me to do? Stop being her friend altogether? She's been a part of my life as long as you," he stressed. "Is that what you're asking?"

Oof, what if she told him yes? Fitzroy hoped that's not what came out of her mouth. It seemed a cruel and unnecessary thing, to demand he carve such an important person out of his life because... "You don't trust me?" That's what it ultimately boiled down to, wasn't it? A lack of trust in him, that he wouldn't seek attentions from Emily outside of Agnes. He already knew his answer, if she asked him. Already knew that there'd be no question who wins in that non-existent tug-o-war the young woman thought existed. But he also knew it'd make him incredibly unhappy. It'd be nothing he would ever ask her to do. But that didn't matter, because Agnes and he were two different people with different concerns. Fitzroy didn't wish to hurt anyone, least of all her.

Hearing those words, certainly lessened the constriction inside. A bit of relief flashed over his features, as if he'd been expecting her not to give it back. He was broken, after all; who could love someone broken? "I know you're not after anything," he insisted, waving a hand through the air like that had never been a thought he'd given any weight to. "She assumes the worst of any outsider, because there are people in this world who would do anything to get their hands on what our family has... Even our own family.." His eyes closed again, momentarily. "I won't get into that right now, just.. there's been some shady experiences and my parents are cautious of everyone. I'm their only son, they have to be careful for me.. it's not you, I promise it's not." If it wasn't her, it'd be whoever stood in her place (outside of Ingrid, of course, who had been vetted years and years ago). It truly had little to do with Agnes, and everything to do with old money not trusting new people coming into their circles, as it was assumed they wanted what they had. And that could turn dangerous quickly.

The word her eyes sliding shut as if it would block out the very notion, because Aggie knew they're baby would be perfect and strong and beautiful, there was no room for anything else without sending her spiralling. Even if she knew it was true. She'd refused to think of the worst cases, reused to even give them a moment of her energy because to acknowledge felt like invitation and maybe Lilith's superstitions were rubbing off on her, but she didn't want to risk inviting any negativity into her heart or their pregnancy. Now he wanted to force her, and she needed to hear it, but both those things meant she had to admit she knew. Had to admit she was scared.

"Our baby will be perfect." She was stalwart, almost defensive in her tone, hands lifting to rest protectively on her stomach, fingers spread like a dream catcher trying to ward off nightmares. She wanted to reassure him, to feed him her certainty of this point. "We are doing everything, Fitz. I have the doctor on speed dial, I avoid the foods, I take the vitamins. Sitting and worrying over the worst case doesn't help, it... It's just feeding that negativity back into the universe... Into the ether around him." Okay now she was sounding like Lily but it didn't matter. "We're supposed to be dreaming together now. Planning our future... Planning his. Not waiting for-" For the other shoe to drop.

His interpretation of her feelings for Emily brought a deep thigh that had her shoulders first lifting than falling further than where they'd started. "But I don't." The words the very embodiment of her exasperation. "Maybe I was jealous of her a little... Because of how you've looked at her... But I never disliked her. I even tried, you know, to reconcile with her, apologized for our past, for everything. Took so much accountability. She didn't want it. It's her right, because I'm the one who messed up all those years ago and all the years since by waiting so long to try and make it right... But she's the one who doesn't like me." And sometimes it hurt a little when she'd feel like that didn't bother him, but she could see on his face that maybe it did.

He'd be devastated to lose Emily, she knew that, and in the end she choked back her discomfort with a hard swallow, a pasted smile, and a dismissive wave of her hand. "Of course I trust you. I trust you with my life. It's fine. I just-" Just what Agnes? She asked herself sagging as the shallow truth fell past her lips. "I feel like you've fought as hard to keep her friendship... as hard you did to push me away..." Her whisper getting a little thick with her growing emotion. "As hard as I fought for your love through it all. Why couldn't you have fought for me like that?"

As hard as he had to try and keep her heart away? That's why the auction still hurt. It hasn't been a show of his feelings to show the town and the world that he'd loved her... It'd been to try and push her away for good. A risk intended to protect her, he said, but a risk away from her rather than toward.