this was not the plan

  shhhhhhhhh the phone vibrating hurts my head

 piss odd

<text> maybe even a national emergency. or are you thinking something more low key

<text> just make it beleivable

  shhhhhhhhh the phone vibrating hurts my head

 piss odd

<text> i cant tell

"Y’really ain’t been around all that of’en have ya darlin’?" She drawled, glancing up and up at him, "B’cause if y’had been. Ya’d know me by reputation as bein’ a woman ain’t quick on f’giveness." She laughed.

He could see that she was about to attack, hazel-green eyes could read it in the sudden tautness of shoulders, the crow feet creases pressing at the edge of bright jade eyes, the sudden steely glint. It wasn't as though he were dealing with an agent, trained to take him by surprise - just a civilian. Regardless, there seemed to be a certain unneccessary speed to her motions.

Her blonde locks were flying slightly in messy wisps, but his gaze was drawn to the bruises on her neck. Zak didn't fight too hard, only blocking to save from any wounds that could ruin his perfect looks. He could have fought but....she looked like she needed a win - Singhania could understand that sentiment. And so he let his wrist slip and the point of her saber was against his chest.

"It seems you're better than I expected," he said graciously. Before he could offer to go another round, a low level communications agent entered the gym announcing in a quiet voice that Zakir was being requested elsewhere.

  shhhhhhhhh the phone vibrating hurts my head

 piss odd

<text> its on the server. jesus what are you a rookie?

  shhhhhhhhh the phone vibrating hurts my head

 piss odd

<text> couldnt help but notice you have a debrief at 0930

<text> wait which calendar

<text> did you hack my email? my phone?

( text ) : uh, do you have my pants because i have yours

( text ) : let’s play another game of whose boxers are hanging on my fence

( text ) : update. a gay guy just told me that i’m the most beautiful thing with a vagina he has ever seen. how should i feel about this?

( text ) : i’m sorry about all the inappropriate shoe throwing.

( text ) : you killed a bottle of bacardi in 20 minutes. so much for being an organ donor.

( text ) : why can’t burritos get me drunk?

( text ) : i know you’re on a date and i should leave you alone, but about twenty minutes ago, i realized i haven’t been spanked in years so if you’re still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.

( text ) : why is my bath tub filled with mud?

( text ) : i’ve noticed we slowly have begun to phase the “b” out of our bromace.

( text ) : you just jumped of the couch and yelled “hidden tiger crouching dragon!” that’s the answer to how you broke your finger.

( text ) : this is what my life has come to. drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me

( text ) : if i open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.

( text ) : apparently all year, they’ve been using me as a standard for drunkenness.

( text ) : all i’m saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding i wash the stolen dye from his hair. i’m not doing that a second time.

( text ) : i need to stop drunkenly getting naked. i’m losing all my party clothes.

( text ) : please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. i mean he’s the one with paint on his face. i don’t need him judge judying me.

( text ) : sooooo, how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital, but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?

( text ) : hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.

( text ) : so much for not drinking this week after this weekend. congrats, you made it until tuesday.