thank you.always.

Love is a terrifying thing. It’s not safe. Because when you love someone, you have to face the fact that you could lose them. Sometimes life throws an unexpected wrench in your way. It might be that you’re in jeopardy of losing your career, your freedom, or worst of all, you might even find out that a loved one has died. These things make you realise how precious life is, how important every second we have on this earth is, and how important the people we care about are to us. Donna… I kept my feelings inside for so long because I was afraid. But when I finally got good news, that’s when I knew you were my everything. I knew I could always count on you when the chips are down. I just hadn’t realised I couldn’t do without you when they were up. I’m a gambler. I always have been and I always will be. When you’re with me, my chips are always up.

None of us know how much time we really have. It could be a minute. It could be an hour. It could be fifty years. But I know even if it’s a hundred years, I’ll never have enough time with you. You make me laugh. You make me cry. You make me crazy. But most of all, Harvey, you make me happy.

Without you, I’m empty. I can never go back to the way I was before. You’ve changed me. And you’ve changed my life forever.

I love you, Harvey Specter.

Dear Harvey,

I know we’ve been talking about a visit soon, and I was going to bring this with me as a surprise. But I don’t want to miss my chance. So, I wanted to make sure you have this. Just in case. I know your grandmother would have loved Donna. I can’t tell you how excited I am to finally meet her.

Love,

A/N: Set post 4x11, Till Death Do Us Part, during Ryan’s wedding.

“Can I go where you go?Can we always be this close forever and ever?And take me out, and take me home…All’s well that ends well to end up with you” 

-

“One last dance, Beckett?”

Kate turns her attention from the lonely company of her champagne flute to meet Richard Castle’s eyes. He looks dazzling tonight, dapper in his suit with eyes shining so blue; she can’t help but smile automatically. 

“Last dance?” she echoes, abandoning her glass on the bar in favor of his open hand. 

He draws her away from the sidelines and towards the floor.

“Yeah, I hear the band’s playing their final song of the night,” he sighs, casting mournful eyes to the endearing group on the stage. Of Ryan’s many cousins, one happens to be pursuing a career in music and the curly haired blonde stands front and center on the stage, tuning her guitar. 

“Want me to buy you one of their CDs, Castle?” she teases, allowing him to lead her to the middle of the floor by the hand. 

He draws her in with such ease, her body swaying into his like it belongs there. His eyes flash with amusement. “Would you?”

“If that’s what you want,” she muses, finding herself relaxing rather than tensing when his palm drapes at her waist. 

“I’ve got what I want,” he fires back quick, too quick. The lack of thought the comment contained is written all over his wide eyed face. It makes her heart pound wildly, in ways both good and bad, and she so badly wants to reply with just as little thought. Just as much honesty. “I’m sorry. Sorry, I - too much to drink after that first toast-”

“Castle,” she murmurs, tucking her chin into the juncture between his neck and shoulder. His chest shudders against hers, a sigh of relief, and she squeezes the hand holding hers as they begin to sway to the soft swell of the music. 

“Forget I said that,” he chuckles into her ear, so sheepish and shy. Tugging at her heart strings. 

She doesn’t want to forget; she curls her free hand at his shoulder, eases her cheek to rest against the firm bone of his clavicle. She doesn’t want to have to forget this too.

“Shh,” she quiets him instead, quiets the worry she can feel raving through his system. “Just dance with me, Rick.”

The use of his first name has him shifting closer to her, his chin brushing her skull as he lowers his cheek to rest against her forehead.

Her eyes flutter closed like that, with Rick Castle holding her close and safe, letting her forget everything but the sensation of his heart beating steadily against hers. Combined with the slow thump of the drum, the soft whispers of a tambourine, and the low thrum of a bass’s strings, she drifts in a sense of serenity, lets the music, their lyrics, leak into her ears.

And I’m highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you,I’ve loved you three summers now, honey, but I want ‘em all.

Kate blinks her eyes open, tries her best not to relate, to think about summers past, about jealousy and old wounds, about how she really doesn’t want to spend this summer apart. 

“Castle?” she murmurs, tilting her head just slightly to catch a glimpse of him. 

“Yeah,” he hums in response, the sound rumbling low and lovely in his chest.

“What are you doing this summer?” 

She catches the confused crinkle of his brow, the flicker of his lashes lowering as his gaze dips to meet hers. 

“This summer?” he repeats.

Her cheeks are growing hot, nerves encroaching on the pleasant warmth in her stomach, and she sucks in a shallow breath for courage. 

“I was just… thinking,” she starts, lifting her head and easing her hand from the embrace of his to converge with her other at the nape of his neck. “The first summer I knew you, not long after you started shadowing me… I didn’t see you that summer, did I?”

“Ah, no,” he winces. “I was banned from the precinct and from your life in general after violating your trust and looking into your mom’s case for the first time.”

And after that was the Hamptons, that dreadful summer he spent with his ex wife and she spent with her bitter regrets. The summer that followed even worse; both of them alone, her with a bullet hole in her chest and him with nothing but her silence. 

She isn’t sure when she fell in love with Rick Castle, but she’s tired of loving him with such loneliness. 

“Any particular reason for this line of questioning?” Castle asks with that tentative but true lopsided grin of his. His eyes are a little anxious when she meets them, anticipating whatever could possibly come next.

“The song… it just-” She bites her lip, feeling foolish, but he isn’t looking at her with anything but sincere interest, patience. Always so patient with her. “Made me think about how I want to see you this summer.”

He stares down at her as if she’s made his entire year. 

“You… want to see me this summer?” he murmurs, curling gentle hands at the bones of her hips. 

Her fingers comb through the fine hairs at the base of his skull and her lips quiver with the yearning for a smile.

She nods. “Yeah. I know you probably have plans for the Hamptons, for you and Alexis, and time for writing-”

“Kate,” he stops her short, stops their tentative dance in the middle of the floor. “I want plans with you,” he confesses, his voice dropping to a quiet husk that has her spine aching to arch, to be closer. “I want to go wherever you go. But that applies to every day life, not just summertime plans.”

She huffs at his smile, crooked and beautiful and reaching his eyes. She buries her own grin in his cheek, feels his breath catch against hers. 

“I just… want you, Kate,” he whispers, a gentle sigh escaping his lips, the heat of his breath trembling along her throat at the admission. “I can wait. For as long as you need, I can wait. I just want you to know that whenever you’re ready-” The graze of his nose to her temple has goosebumps racing down her vertebrae. “I’m here.”

The song they were dancing to comes to a close, tambourine shivering to an end, the crowd slowing to a stop to applaud the band on stage. 

“I still need… a little more time,” she confesses, her own sigh of frustration breaking free. She curls her arms a little tighter around his neck though, prays that he understands, that he can wait a little longer, that he can stay. “But you’re not alone in that, Castle,” she breathes, her heart rioting and risking injury against her ribs. “The wanting.”

His hands leave her waist and her heart seizes, prepares to drop, but then his arms are banding firm and assuring around her waist. 

He turns his head ever so slightly to dust his lips to her cheek, just barely grazing the corner of her mouth.

“All this was inspired by the song that little band on stage played?”

She nearly chokes on her laughter, the relief bubbling in her chest as she nods. The hug of his arms around her frame makes her feel whole, more put together than she has in a long time, smothering the doubts and soothing the spaces inside her that have remained so cold and ragged. 

Beckett sighs, content and letting the curl of her lips linger. “Kinda, yeah.”

Castle eases the strength of his embrace to pull back, allow her a look at his beaming face, his sparkling eyes, the love for her lining the smile claiming his mouth.