Eridan Ampora

“Cats are smelly obnoxious freeloaders.  At least the cats I’ve met.”

“Cats are smelly obnoxious freeloaders.  At least the cats I’ve met.”

He was intercepted by Eridan as he made his way towards the fitting room, grinning as the boy made his declaration of being ready to try stuff on.  Dandy glanced down to the pile of clothes in his arms, and his eyes nearly popped out of his head when he spied the bikini lying innocently on top.  He looked from the swimwear, to Eridan’s face, and then back, feeling heat creep up his neck.

“That uh… That the swimsuit you picked out?” he asked, relieved that he managed to ask without his voice cracking like a teenager.  This was a real dilemma.  On one hand, Dandy had an obligation to steer Eridan in the right direction in terms of customs here on earth.  He knew full well that he should tell the boy that bikinis were typically worn by the female half of the population, so as not to embarrass himself in public.

But on the other hand… He would pay real fucking money just to see the boy wear it. 

“It is, yes.” he answered proud of his own decision, making his smirk a bit wider and raising an eyebrow, “So I’ll be trying that on now, and also these...” 

He pointed at the other clothes he had on his arm; not that it really mattered to him, but he didn’t want Dandy to think he only cared about the bikini. His evil plan couldn’t be uncovered just yet.

“Be right back.” he announced as he turned around and walked fast to the dressing rooms. He chose the one on the furtherest corner, running the curtain and leaving the things on the chair the small place had to offer. Then he looked at himself in the mirror, and after a few seconds, his wide smirk dropped a bit. He was taking a moment to admire himself, more specifically his complexion, and as he started removing his clothes, he also started wondering if the bikini was a good idea after all. He was far from being one of those curvy ladies Dandy loved, and bikinis looked really lovely on curves; but what about a skinny body like his? Would it be good enough to compete against the round butts and bouncing boobies?

He slid the bottom part up his legs, adjusting the strips a bit so the suit would embrace his hips perfectly. Then he worked on tying up the upper part to his neck and his ribs. It took him a bit, since the suit accidentally got caught in his horns, but after he was done he took a moment to admire himself in the mirror again, this time with the bikini on. 

He didn’t look... so bad, right? I mean, his grub marks weren’t really that attractive, but Dandy didn’t seem to mind them. And the bikini was looking ok, it was holding itself properly to his body... But still, he was definitely gonna need Dandy’s second opinion on this. What if he didn’t like it? He wouldn’t risk buying the bikini to wear it around, only for the hunter to feel embarrassed or disgusted, and focusing his attention on the other ladies. He was getting it for him after all. So he walked over to the curtain and peeked his head out, making sure that the cloth was still covering the rest of his body.

He was disregarding every traditional pair of trunks in favor of some… shorter styles.  Frankly, if you didn’t show at least two-thirds of your thighs, you weren’t wearing swim trunks, you’re wearing pants, and that’s a sin at the beach, Baby.  Only guys with something to hide wore swimsuits that went to the knees.  Dandy was admiring a stripped Speedo when suddenly a blue shirt was flung in front of his face.

He reached out with both hands, stretching the shirt out so he could get a look at the design, and grinned a little.  “Navy is a good color for you,” he said in agreement, handing it back.  “Grab a couple of things and go to the fitting room to try them on. Make sure they fit and everything.  Don’t you dare get anything baggy, either. You’ve spent too long in stuff that’s too big for you.” He grabbed the hem of the shirt Eridan already had on, one of Dandy’s own. And while it was precious to see him wearing his old clothes, it was also getting a little annoying, when he knew what was hiding underneath.

“Oh... yeah, right.” he said, wondering in silence if Dandy was gonna buy it for himself or if he was offering it to him... No, wait! Maybe he was gonna buy it for himself, being matesprits now and all. It would only make sense that they both should start getting clothes of the other’s color.

His face flushed completely and his fins flapped at the thought, then he looked away and held tightly to the shirt he had chosen.

“Alright, I’ll be right back then...” he said and walked away fast to keep looking through the clothes. 

As he was trying to find something else appealing to him, he started wondering if Dandy knew about such tradition between Trolls and quadrants. Did he mention it to him before? Was it a coincidence? Then his thoughts jumped to wonder what Dandy’s color actually was... With humans was probably different, because they all had red blood, but he had noticed Dandy had a certain inclination for blue. At least most of his clothes were blue, and even his hair had a shade of blue. Blue, probably. He should get a blue bathing suit.

He left the area of shirts and shorts, with a couple of each on his left arm, and approached the area of bathing suits. He stopped for a bit, placing his other hand on his hip and looking around at all the different options, until a certain little thing caught his attention. A mannequin, wearing a pretty blue bikini. He frowned and huffed in anger, immediately remembering the ladies, with those stupidly tiny bikinis, that had caught Dandy’s attention. What was even the deal with those things?! Did they really mean that much to Dandy? Because he had ladies in bikinis all over his fucking ship!

He wrinkled his nose, approaching to the bikinis that were the same to the ones the mannequin was modeling. He grabbed one and stared at it almost instinctively, but in his head he was actually wondering if he should get one for himself. Maybe that way Dandy would stop staring at other bikinis and focus on him. Him, him and only him. 

He tossed the bikini on the top of the pile of clothes he had for trying on, and walked back to Dandy, looking at him with a dead serious face. 

He sure hoped Eridan liked the style of the islands because that was about all these shops had to offer, and every shop was exactly the same for probably miles. Upon entering, ones senses were assaulted with garishly colored beach dresses and Hawaiian T-shirts, plastic mannequins sporting very tiny bikinis, the ungodly scents of sun-screen and artificial coconut, and the sounds of wailing children, fed up parents and tittering teenagers. Most visitors were gathered around the front of the store, drawn in by tacky clothes and even tackier souvenirs that were placed close to the front doors.  Dandy knew better than to linger, however, and plowed his way through the mob towards the back of the store, where the slightly more stylish name-brand clothes and swimsuits were hidden.  He looked back to make sure that Eridan made it in one piece, still clinging to his hand.

The store was styled like every other surf shop on the beach, with fiberglass sharks and fishes hanging from the ceilings, rusted metal signs and old surfboards on the walls, and the occasional black and white photograph of years past.  If there was anything that hadn’t changed much in hundreds of years, it was tourist traps, and they were right in the middle of one. Dandy made his way towards the men’s clothing section first… and it became heavily apparent that the majority of Dandy’s own wardrobe had been purchased at a shop just like this one.

Flowers. There were flowers everywhere, in every single piece of clothing. Well, some of them had beach scenarios and palm trees and other things, but flowers! Flowers were everywhere!

“Wow...” he couldn’t help but say as he was getting dragged to the back of the store, thankfully, away from all the crowd that had barely bothered him. He took a moment to look up at the decoration and his eyes widened. It was pretty. Or pretty to his judgement. It couldn’t help but draw a smile on his face. 

Then he was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard Dandy’s voice, announcing that they were in the section he wanted, and he hoped that he’d find something he liked. He looked at Dandy first, and then looked around at all the clothes this particular piece of the store had to offer. He raised his eyebrows to see these clothes weren’t... so flowery. Thank God. 

“Um... They’re pretty.” he said looking at Dandy once more and offering him a tiny smile, before walking over to check each piece individually. It was really far from the sense of fashion he had in Alternia, but what the fuck? His whole life was far from anything he had in Alternia now.

This last thought made him smile, as he grabbed a blue shirt with navy blue decorations and examined it. There was something about it he liked, and he didn’t realize, but they were almost the same color as his old scarf; the scarf that he’d barely use anymore.

We walked back to Dandy and shook the shirt in front of him.

“I know it’s not much,” he said finally, wiping his hands off on his jeans before stuffing them into his pockets.  “But I figured you would be in a hurry to get into the water today.  Stopping into a restaurant would just…” he shrugged and nodded his heads towards one of the restaurants that lined the boardwalk, noting the heavy amount of people and aliens sitting around waiting for tables.  “Take forever.  And we’ve got to get that shopping done first.  I’ll make it up to you later, okay?”

Dandy sighed through his nose, settling back against the palm tree as he looked down out towards the beach.  This wasn’t going well at all. Not even 30 minutes into their first day of real vacation and he’d managed to piss off his shiny new boyfriend by making a dick of himself.  What was new, right?  Suddenly, Dandy was very aware of his age, and how long he’d been out of the game.

He twisted his mouth reconsidering his priorities and nodded in agreement, looking back down at his doughnut and giving another big bite.

He chewed slowly and peeked up at the hunter when he heard him sigh. Oh-oh... was he upset? Maybe he took his tantrum a little too far. This wasn’t really so bad, Dandy was thinking about what was best for him, and besides, the frikkin’ doughnut really wasn’t bad at all!

He didn’t want to be caught peeking, so he looked back down quickly, only to be followed by Dandy’s warm hand stroking against his cheek. His cheeks flushed a bit darker and he flapped his fins, nodding to Dandy’s petition to speed up his eating and he did so, devouring what he had left of the doughnut in a couple of minutes. 

After he was done he crumpled the paper in his hands and kept it there. Then he walked in front of Dandy and shyly looked up at him, offering him a tiny, glaze covered smile.

He wrinkled his nose and sighed, rolling his eyes before giving the pastry another bite. If he wasn’t gonna have a real meal, well, he might as well enjoy this one, right? He kept eating in silence, trying to look everywhere except to the hunter; instead he focused his attention on the people and alien species walking by, but it didn’t take long for him to notice that some of them were staring at his partner with a rather odd expression. Curiosity took over him, and he glanced up at Dandy, only to find him licking and sucking his own fingers. His fins flapped a bit and his cheeks flushed light violet, for he turned his face immediately hoping that the hunter didn’t notice.

Sighing softly, Dandy felt for a moment like he may have lost his appetite.  Which was basically impossible but he still felt pretty bad any way.  But he hoped, maybe, something sweet would improve his companion’s mood.  He let go of Eridan’s hand briefly to pull a handful of Woolongs from his back pocket, and approached one of the food stands.  After a brief transaction and a short wait, Dandy was pressing a paper wrapped pastry into Eridan’s hands.

Who was he fooling? Did he really expect Dandy to change for him? Like getting romantically involved with the hunter would make him have eyes for him and only for him. He knew the way Dandy was, he knew the kind of ladies that’d always make him drool... So what was he doing with him? He was far from being a curvy lady; he was a boy, and a quite skinny one... 

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, looking away to the people walking by him. He needed to remind himself that even though Dandy’s greatest passion were ladies with big boobs and big butts, he was still walking by his side, holding his hand. He was his “little fish prince”. Him. Out all the people in the universe, him.

He felt Dandy let go off his hand and interrupted his own thoughts to turn to look at him, for a second fearing that Dandy was drifting away to talk to a lady, or simply feeling like he couldn’t hold his hand anymore; but he felt somewhat relieved to realize he was just getting money to buy some food. 

He sighed softly again and crossed his arms over his stomach, waiting patiently in the back for him to come back. His own anger and doubts had made him forget about his hunger. When the hunter returned and handed him the pastry with a promise, he couldn’t even look up at him. He focused his attention in the food thing he had in his hands and sniffed it before giving it a tiny bite. 

After munching it for a bit his eyes opened wide with a little sparkle.

"Well that sort of goes without saying… Actually it’s worse than you could possibly imagine.”

"good"

"And I’m happy to be the damsel in distress."

"For once."

"oh right"

"that happened"

"wwell, yeah, you could say wwe're evven noww"

"Well that sort of goes without saying… Actually it’s worse than you could possibly imagine.”

"good"

"And I’m happy to be the damsel in distress."

"For once."

"Well that sort of goes without saying… Actually it’s worse than you could possibly imagine.”

"good"

The doors opened and Dandy lead the way out, passing through the lobby and out into the bright, fresh morning.  It was warm and clear, a soft breeze pushing fluffy clouds through the sky and cooling down the air.  The beach was speckled with people, setting up umbrellas and tacking down tents.  Couples and families of all species walked along the boardwalk, though it was pretty clear that most of the inhabitants were human.  And as a pair of human woman walked past in perhaps the tiniest string bikinis legal around these parts, Dandy could not help but gawk.  Oh, yeah, it was good to be back in Hawaii.  And the natives hadn’t changed a bit.

He walked out of the elevator along with Dandy, and as soon as his eyes had direct contact with the sun beams of Hawaii, he squinted his eyes and removed his glasses to push down the shades, that were on his head, on his nose bridge. He sighed, finding it a bit annoying to have to do that every time, but maybe if he stayed enough time on earth he would get used to it. Or the light. Either.

He looked around a bit cluelessly to the other people that were in the place, and noticed some other species aside from humans, feeling sort of glad that he wasn't the only one out of place then. There even was a sea-dweller-looking alien, that clearly wasn't a troll, but close. He couldn't help smiling softly. He turned up to point it out to Dandy, but caught him staring at some ladies walking by, and the smile disappeared from his face. Dandy was turning his face to him when he turned his own away immediately, feeling his blood pressure increase and his face get a bit hot in growing anger. But he didn't say anything. He kept quiet, only repeating to himself that he shouldn't be surprised, it was Dandy after all, and he probably should get used to this.

He walked in the elevator and listened to Dandy in silence, enjoying the soft touch on the back of his hand before scooting closer and resting his head on his shoulder.