AestheticLily

aesthetics >>> the umbrella academy (2019-)

" Isn't he dead?"

" Why the fuck is there French?!"

" Maurice, you utter twat."

" Anyone got a clean copy?"

"Pretty sure that's homoerotic."

"I've been here for an hour and have forgotten more than I've remembered."

" I hope this prick dies."

" Another dead of fever , shocked? No."

" * unintelligible arguing about Byron*"

humidity

oh alas, you say. oh papa, whatever shall i do, it is ever so hotte and drye in california. the very air hath been sucked of all its moisturey droplets and whatnot.* one hundredy and tennith desiccated degrees!

*(yo, drought is serious. i am pretty obviously not making fun of that.)

alright. let’s check it out. here’s a random california city, right about now:

thirty-two percent. and here’s a random mid-atlantic city located somewhere in the wet fleshy crease behind a demon’s knee*:

*(confession: i do not live in dc, but several years ago i spent three weeks steaming like a tinned ham in arlington in august. none of the pants i took with me could ever keep a crease again.)

huh! funny thing! “see, dc’s actually seven degrees COOLER,” you say, because you’ve obviously never gone outside and taken a deep lungful of wet sock trash air in your life. and now for added bliss, here’s what early wednesday morning’s gonna be like for these poor clowns:

that’s right! eighty-two percent humidity! the point at which showers no longer matter, because you’re all caught in God’s grease trap! just stressed human eels miserably slip slidin’ their way through a damp melty bathwater-flavored hellscape that feels like it’s actively sous viding their top layer of skin! a hundred thousand people packed into public transit breathing air that feels like deepthroating swamp thing! and you wanna talk to me about fuckin california!

[cue science voice]: human bodies cool through evaporation, a process by which the body sweats and sweet invisible angels towel us off, whisking away our unwanted moisture into the air and literally chilling us out. (it’s also why air conditioned air feels so fucking deliciously refreshing: it’s not just being cooled, it’s being conditioned, aka, dehumidified. it’s cool dry air.) but. if the air is already made out of fucking chowder and can’t absorb shit then guess what the fuck our bodies can’t do.

- update?

- rereading ur work and wanting to edit so bad but u know you’ll change the whole storyline if u do

- staying away from the site cause u don’t want to hear the anguished cries of ur readers wanting more

- joining as an editor on somebody’s book and they leave and make u author so now u have this child u didn’t ask for but god dammit if u think I’m gonna abandon them!

- trying to stay interested in the fandom

- trying to get to the good parts

this picture is so quality can we make this into a meme format it’s basically