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The night is dark,

My soul is heavy.

My gaze blurs,

But my will is steady.

A madness beats at the walls of the dam that I’ve built: day after day, dose after dose.

The days are long,

My stream of thought eddies,

My body breaks down,

But I’m finally ready,

I have been hollow far too often.

I have been filled up so much,

past the brim,

spilling over.

Both leave me restless.

Both leave me longing for the other side of the tracks.

Craving grass that is green,

But that never stays green.

The center is always moving, roving, exploring - it’s a curious center.

It wants to know this life,

It wants this life to recognize it back.

Just one flash of recognition to seize this oscillating back-and-forthness,

just long enough to grab hold of that center and follow it wherever it may lead.

A divine wink.

Don’t you remember?

Won’t you remember?

You are searching for yourself in a body of water,

the surface a mirror,