our holidays used to be spectacular, a gigantic event that lasted until the next week, having the time of our lives with endless gifts, wonderful food at all times of the day, and the best part? family.
now, i’m not one that is extremely immersed within the family, like my other kin. as time progressed, however, i’ve come to conclude that i adore observing and absorbing my family and their little niches that only occur in the holiday season.
as the years come and go, holiday gatherings have dwindled down to just my parents and sister, my grandparents and aunt.
which i believe my family has agreed to be just enough.
i suppose the best way to define our little cluster of a family is "tight-knit." i never knew much of the family drama until fairly recently, and i learned that there’s a pretty good reason we don’t visit cousin jennifer and don’t go out of our way to see her snot nose kids, either. every member of our family has something slightly off with them, that seems to come out more often than not during the season of giving.
my aunt’s favorite aspect of the season is seeing my sister, me and my father, she loves to talk to us and only us.
it's always has been that way. we won’t even have the time to take our shoes off or to put down the food we brought with us before she swoops in to take us to her bedroom and watch the newest funny video she’s found online.
her room, while a bit cramped, is a safe place. lit mostly by natural light, candles, and a single lamp, it’s cozy and safe. incense burning and the sound of water filtering through a mini rock formation that sits on her dresser, her posters from korean bands and japanese films covering her walls from corner to corner, polaroids and printed family photos from the 2000s, her rabbits, and scenery stuck in her mirror that sits on her vanity, in which is covered in multiple hairbrushes, korean skincare, miniature figurines, and a stack of photos not yet hung up. the floor pillows and blankets covering the carpeted floor offer a sense of comfort, since we all can’t fit on her twin sized bed safely anymore.
if we weren’t hanging in her bedroom, it would be the kitchen/dining room that we all would be in. my grandmother seemingly permanently stuck within the confines of the kitchen, whether it be by the counter or over the sink, i would sit on the barstools or stand by the oven and talk to keep company, telling of my recent affairs with the general public between my jobs as a barista and a cashier, there are always quite the characters. my grandparents tend to not leave the house as much, simply with their fear of the current global pandemic and world affairs (as well as my grandma never getting her license renewed), my aunt takes them on outings as often as she can, depending on her insufferable job at the county police force. my grandma always tells me that she’s glad im able to relay the funny and bizarre aspects of the world to her as often as i can, and always says “oh im glad i don’t work, i simply would not be able to handle it!! people suck.” and while she is right that people do suck, i also love seeing people and how they get excited about whipped cream on a hot chocolate or the polite chuckle in response to kids crying in the cart behind them.
i love being around people and just observing them.
with dinner drawing near, my grandma always calls out to the rest of us, despite the fact that we’re all still in the dining room,
“now go grab something to drink!”
and we listen, my sister and i head to the finished basement to the mini fridge; stocked with sodas, chocolate milks, and waters. selecting a sevenup or sunkist, we are offered a glass by my grandma for such high-end drinks.
once we are all seated at the table, and food is passed around, my grandpa- seated at the head of the table- asks my father- who is seated at the other end- if he had caught the game last night. it never mattered what the game was; basketball, baseball, or football, my dad’s response was always “i saw half of it, turned it off whenever we were so far gone there was no chance.” and with a hum in response from my grandpa, he would divulge into a play-by-play to my dad of the final moments of the game, regardless if the points were 45-2, with our designated team being the 2. With always the dreaded questions of how school or work has been lately, i love to tell of the fun characters that come into the coffee shop in town, or how my classmates still don’t know the difference between your and you’re. treading lightly on the current political climate, since so many of us have such opposite views, it’s better to just sigh dramatically and go “it’s been rough” and leave it at that.
the clinks of forks and knives against the fine china as someone gets up to get another helping out of the linked crockpots, dinner slows until the final fork stops. in which we are left to clean up and talk of anything new and exciting that’s left to discuss, as my grandmother retreats to the kitchen, and my aunt, sister and me into her bedroom, we let the adults talk until it’s time for dessert of either a pie, cake, or an array of small treats. either way, the main aspect that always brings us back to harmony is food. and nobody knows it better than my grandmother.
regardless of the season or time of year, there is the comfortable routine that is always brought on by the smaller part of our family, and frankly, im glad we stopped with the overwhelming amount of family within one place. the stuffy air, and the lacked avoidance of political and social talk. perhaps it was always meant to be this way.
