Take me to wonderland

"That went well."

"I hope you're happy now."

"Brilliant."

"Do you ever use your brain, or do you just think those five pounds are a built in workout for your neck muscles?"

"Remind me why I should care."

"Oh, gosh, you've insulted me! What ever shall I do? I'll be mentally and emotionally scared for years!"

"This is your bright idea?"

"Wow, you are just so incredibly funny."

"You keep on telling yourself that, sweetheart."

"Whose idea of a fun time is this?"

"Careful, keep having that much fun and it might actually start being good for your health."

"Yes, because your well-being is definitely my number one concern."

"I'll lose sleep over that. Definitely."

"Oh, no. Whatever shall we do? It's dark and we live in the 21st century!"