aerith @aerithinks - Tumblr Blog

Introduction

I'm lazy to make a proper intro post and i doubt anyone checks the blog anyway so

Aerith, 17, she/her

mainly spam/vent blog, won't contain any specific theme, here to express thoughts and post whatever

some of the stuff kinda exaggerated, don't take anything too srsly

some tw: suicidal ideation, basically anything revolving negativity. most of the other things (sa/rape/grooming etc) are usually either implied or talked about indirectly since i dislike just using the terms because they sound harsh and are somewhat triggering.

posts with such topics may have the required tags but may forget to tag it appropriately while posting.

Feel free to send asks if u want to

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Ok let's hope i don't regret this purchase and just see the outfit rotting in my wardrobe

Trying out my mom's clothes and she goes "yeah it won't suit you because you look like a kid"

#ok sorry for my genetics #but i doubt traditional clothes would look good on me at all #i dont have a good height so #and idk i feel as if the only thing I can look good in is #dresses and tops etc #maybe im insecure #well i am about my face #but some other stuff too ig

Like wdym girl you've been thinking of dating lmao, nobody wants you and even if they wanted you it's only because either they just want to have sex or want the label that they're dating.

#atp i really don't think #any normal person could ever like me #like they have to be #just as mentally ill #or more to even come close to liking me #or yk in general #they just have very bad standards and choose me as a crush #because there's nothing to like about me

Yk what I should do? Stop being in touch with my emotions because I've been thinking too much lately and that's not good. Let me fill my schedule with work so I don't have any free time.

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Why in my dream I couldn't even finish a sentence while speaking. Like my throat would just not cooperate and swallow the last word of the sentence every time 😭 not winning the argument even in my dream..

#oh btw we were arguing #so maybe it makes sense #because i hate it #and woke up with a headache

emotionalsupporthandgun

so afraid of commitment i can’t even commit suicide

Why did I dream about my crush .... I thought I was done with my feelings....

oml this entire section on suicide is so boring. Basically like repeating the same words over and over "suicide can be prevented!" "The society should be more aware and try to be helpful" "they should identify, referral and manage the behaviour!" "They should be cared for and provided support" yea no shit but nobody wants to deal with a suicidal person did yk that?

#tw sui but more of #in a academic way?#also the fact they say suicidal people should be cared for and then #get institutionalized #and their suicide becomes the only thing people know them by for the next few months or maybe years

Gonna be studying about stress and disorders for the exam acting like idk more than the shit printed in the book

#yes it's psych #haha stress i lowk am the most easily stressed #some of the other things are very interesting tho #but the book is very vague on the explanations sadly #smh fill it with info that im always finding stuff new pls

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The more I grow older, the more disgusting i find myself. Like wow, how does anyone like me at all. Are we sure that they really aren't just tolerating my presence or lying to my face?

Yk what sometimes I think I should've listened to him and followed his words and did what he asked. I sometimes just want a person to look at me even if they're manipulating me..

#im sure part of it is because #i think if someone does it to me again #I'll be ok with it #as long as they are smart with it #and keep on manipulating me #and lowk atp idc #i think being manipulated would be better #since ill atleast feel worth something #for being useful to atleast that person #because i feel so worthless for everything else #maybe that's all I can be properly #as in being a victim

Ok i wasted enough time, will be opening this app and any other social media after 16 july

#im lying #watch me come back in 1 hr #BUT NO #I need to study otherwise im not gonna be #idk

Randomly remembered I look like a fucking kid so even if I turn an adult, that's just gonna be an excuse for questionable guys with questionable tastes to have access to completing their fantasies..

#idk random thoughts #yes im talking about pedos #and predators

Thinking about the crush I had last year, idk if it was a crush or just lowkey parasocial thing. But I like to think it was a crush

#sigh idk if it would end up well #i wish I could still talk with him #I do hope he's doing better now :(#I always felt so sad and wanted to really help him #but i didnt know what to do #my savior complex was literally dying seeing him suffer

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Idk if it is for me or not, but you never know. I always felt like they didn't really care about me so I don't think they would do that

#but then again #that was the only entry #under my name #and i dont use this name anywhere else #so it cant from anyone else

ive lowk been craving a very toxic situation or person in my life so I can validate all my bad thoughts and have my life become hell again because it might be fun

#tho im kinda self aware usually #and have learnt #about boundaries...#so I just cut the toxic person off #idk maybe its js my want to be wanted #even if it's by the worst person possible

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