Hello and Welcome.

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time To me younger self Not to change anything or anyone But just to tell myself to take it all in To use it all as an inspiration To feel as much as I can Even if it’s pain or sadness I wish I had started writing earlier I wish I had taken the inspiration sooner

Maybe, I’m more attracted to the fantasy instead of the reality- the what could bes, the what ifs, the maybes, the dreams, the plans - but when I get a taste of that reality, it’s a cold splash of realization when i see what’s in front of me isn’t the same as what’s inside my mind - the daydream is glittery compared to the dullness of the truth when laid out in front of you.

I think the problem is that I’m stuck waiting for him to do something, to make a move, to say the perfect thing. And the problem is that I shouldn’t be that girl, the one who sits and waits for him. I should be independent. I should think clearly and consistently without having my mind jump straight back to him. Yeah, falling for someone like that is the hardest thing to do. And the stupidest thing is that the thing standing in my way is fear of losing him, the fear of rejection, the fear that I might lose a friend that means everything to me. I want to be everything to him, but I’m not. I’m not the kind of girl he needs, and I’ll never be that girl.

The truth is, I am in love with you. I love you so much. Not being with you kills me, I need to make myself believe anything to push me away from you, I can’t bare this sadness anymore. Take care

I love you for all the right reasons but you chose to walk away and here I am dancing on my own and wallowing in my misery.