Petey the Pizza Guy

"You’re certified fuckin’ mental." But he’s smiling too, eyes just a touch too soft to be teasing.

"That's one I haven't heard before," he chuckles, face going a bit red.

"You were doubtin’ your ‘otness. Wha’ was I s’posed t’do? Le’ ya walk through life thinkin’ you ain’t hot? Ma’e, I’s jus’ doin’ my country some duty."

"It's one way to feed someone's ego," he says, but he's smiling like a dumpass.

"You’re kiddin’, righ’? Ma’e, you’re bloody gorgeous. Look a’ you! I ain’t sayin’ I’d have sexy dreams abou’ you, bu’ I ain’ no’ sayin’ it either."

"Your face is cute, but your grammar's pretty bad," he chuckles. "I don't know if I'm flattered at that last statement, though."

"Y’ain’t too bad yourself, mate." And by that he means ‘holy fuck you’re cute, but cute in the ‘fuck me over a kitchen worktop’ kind of way’.

Oh my fucking god, says the omnipresent narrator, as Peter blushes. "You're lyin'."

You’re telling me, says the omnipresent narrator, who really shouldn’t be intoning her voice into the writing but she will continue to anyway because this rocks. “Y’called me cute.” No he is not blushing.

Yeah, but who cares, asks the other omnipresent narrator, because Mattie and Peter are my lifeblood at the moment. “Cause you are.”

 He’s just gonna giggle a little. Flirting is super easy for him when he’s trying to get sex, and only sex. But cute boys in the park? Nah, mate, he’s not equipped for this.

Peter smiles, an actual one this time, which, frankly, makes him look like a big, stupid, idiot. God, they're so fucking stupidly adorable.

"Mattie, mate. You always talk to random strangers who sneeze on you, or am I jus’ special?" He’s too busy trying to act all confident to realise the hand is for him to shake.

"Nah - it's only the cute ones that I talk to," he says, with a bit of a smile.

"Ah. Thanks, mate."

"Yeah. I’m Peter." He hold out his hand for him to shake.

     ”Y’might wanna get back, mate. I need to sneeze. ‘S gonna be a biggun.”

He raises a brow, but does take a step back. 

“‘Cause I don’t go’ none either, an’ I don’ wanna be alone.”

"We can do something, then. I mean, if you're up for it?"